Lunar Phases
by Writer-by-day
Summary: Willow gets bitten and an old friend shows up in town... one is looking for humanity, the other for anything but the latter but both are looking for redemption. Apologies for the first chapter the spacing is off... the rest is MUCH better, please read me!
1. Chapter 1

hi-dil-ee-ho readers! lol heres a little Oz and Willowness for all you W/O shippers. i hope you like it. It should get better as it ages like wine... or something, i put 2 chaps in one because chapter 2 it really short... please R&R

**_LUNAR PHASES_**

Willow ran through the cemetery, followed closely by the werewolf. Well, this brought back

memories… She thought as she dodged yet another open grave. "Buffy!" she cried. Just then she

tripped over the shovel and fell to the dewy grass. She tried to get up, but was too late, the wolf had

caught up and was looming over her, it's eyes flashed and Willow screamed. Suddenly the beast

froze and fell to the ground. Willow looked up and saw Buffy holding the tranquilizer gun. She had a

smile on her face as she held out her hand, which Willow took and she was pulled up. Dawn was

behind her in a second followed by Xander. "Well, better late than never eh?" Willow said getting

up and staring at the motionless body of the wolf-man. "are you ok Will?" Xander asked walking

over beside Willow. Willow nodded. "Better than him at least…" Willow said rubbing her head.

Everyone started heading back to the Summers's house. "man that reeks!" Dawn explained, looking

at Buffy, who was sporting a brand new wolf coat. Buffy frowned and put the wolf down, "I think

Mr. Wolfie needs to discover some soap." She said dropping it in the makeshift cage they had made

with the discovery of a new wolf in town. Willow sighed and looked at the furry lump in the back of

the cage. She was cold, she rubbed her arms with her hands and felt something wet. She pulled her

hand back and gasped when she looked at it, there was blood all over her hand. Willow felt like she

was going to throw up. She had been bitten. "um, Buffy…" she managed to stutter before her legs

gave out. Buffy was over there in less that a second. When she saw what had happened to Willow

and she gasped. "oh my God!" she exclaimed.

Willow had slept for three days straight, she didn't want to get up. Or eat. Or do

much, but today she willed herself up and went downstairs when she was sure no one was around.

She poured herself some coffee and sat at the kitchen table letting the hotness of the beverage

spread through her entire body before thinking about anything else. She had been dreaming a lot of

odd things lately. First Tara was the only thing she dreamt. She missed her girl, it had been 3 years

last week since she had died, then suddenly out of no where she was dreaming of Oz. At first it was

just flashes here and there and then they got more clear. Ever since she had been bitten her thoughts

had never lingered far from her first and only boyfriend. She sat at the table and just wondered…

Soon she found herself ready for work and leaving a note to everyone. She just couldn't be indoors

anymore. She drove to the high school and was welcomed by some students as she go out of her

car. "hi principal Rosenbourge" they chimed. Willow smiled she was proud of her job. She

remembered when she first got it the scooby's had held a giant party that had lasted days. She

walked down the hall way and toward her office. She was light headed, she hadn't eaten in about 3

days and yet she put on a happy face. She had too, it was the only way she could deal.

(4 hours later, Buffy and Dawn are home from work/school.)

"she went to WORK! I'M GONNA SLAY HER!" Buffy exclaimed opening the fridge with such

force she brought the fridge with her. Buffy blushed. "Well maybe I won't S-L-A-Y her per-say…

but I will yell at her, she's in no state to go to work." Buffy said putting the fridge back into place.

She looked over at Dawn. "why aren't you fuming?" she asked her sister. Dawn looked thoughtful.

"I was just thinking…maybe it's good if she went to work…" she said frowning. "are you insane!

She's mongo depressed and a werewolf!" Buffy said cutting her sister off. Dawn shook her head.

"its good that she keeps herself busy. I mean, so she doesn't think about you know… stuff." Dawn

explained. "WOW, that's pretty smart… see what not skipping classes does for you?" Buffy said

giving Dawn a 'look'. Dawn smiled back and walked out of the room. When she was sure her sister

hadn't followed she rolled her eyes. "her. Dawn. Actually going to class… it wasn't gonna happen

soon." She thought to herself. She took her food upstairs to spend some quality time with Connan

O'Brian. She smiled to herself the whole time. Buffy sat at the table dipping a bar of chocolate into

her coffee and putting the now warm melted chocolate into her mouth. This is heaven… she thought

to herself. She leaned back in her chair and checked the clock, 2:30… Willow would be home at

4:30. Buffy sighed again. What a mess… she thought this must be uber horrible for Will. And to

make it worse… Buffy's thoughts fell on Oz. coincidence much? She thought. she put the dairy milk

bar in her mouth again and tapped her fingers on the counter.

Oz sped through his old hometown. He knew something was wrong, he didn't know

what but he knew he should be here. He had been dreaming about her a lot lately. He drove passed

the Bronze and a faint smile fluttered across his face. Eskimo girl. He thought to himself his thoughts

brought him back to the first time he had ever laid eyes on her. With her Eskimo suit on and her little

spear. The more he thought of her the more the butterfly's in his stomach beat the crap out of it with

little mallets. This wasn't gonna be good. How could he just show up like this? After all he had put

her through with out even a phone call or an E-mail? Then again… he had a right to be nervous. She

left him for a GIRL. Which was kinda hot if he thought about it… he shook his head… Devon's

way of thinking was rubbing off on him. He wouldn't go without a fight though. he fought the instinct

to just turn around and go back to where ever home was. The only way he could fight that instinct

was to go right to the Summer's house. he fought the impulse to excellerate as he drove up and

stopped at the front of the house. he sat there and just stared for a second remminessing… he got

out of the passengers side. He really had to fix the drivers door of the old VW which had been

smashed somewhere in Manhatten by a hooded figure wearing black. It had scared the shit out of

him seeing as he was sleeping right there. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he walked

down the drive. He hesitated before knocking twice on the big wooden door. There was a shuffling

sound and Buffy with a smear of chocolate on her face opened the door. Her eyes widened in

surprise. "Oz…" she said after she regained some speech. "Buffy…" Oz said in his normal stoic

way. "um, come in…" Buffy said stepping out of the way. "BUFFFFY, CAN YOU GET THE

TOILET PAPER FROM THE BASEMENT THERES NONE LEFT AND THE CHINESE

FOOD I RE-HEATED ISN'T SITTIN' TOO HAPPY!" Dawn cried from upstairs. Buffy sighed

and led Oz into the living room. "She'll find out it's in the back of the cupboard in 5-4-3…" Buffy

said counting down. "NEVERMIND…" Dawn cried from the bathroom upstairs.

Buffy looked at Oz he didn't look fazed in the slightest. This was aquward… Buffy thought to

herself. Oz stared for a second and then said. "There's some…" and pointed to her face. Shit! Buffy

thought her hand shooting up to her face. She wiped it off and looked at Oz to see if she had gotten

it all. He nodded. "So, um how long have you been in town?" Buffy asked trying to get rid of the

aquwardness. "I actually just got here. The initial plan was to find a hotel or something, but then I

realized the lack of Hotels in this town so I thought about my parents… but you know, they're the

parents so I just came here. I hope that's ok." Oz said quietly. "It's good to see you Oz." Buffy said

smiling. Oz nodded. Just then Dawn came walking down the stairs grumbling. She turned into the

living room and froze when she spotted Oz. "How long has he been here?" she mouthed to Buffy.

Buffy shook her head. "Oh wow…. Hey…Oz. Buffy, Have you seen that show… Nwad (dawn's

name backwards) the lead girl sounds just like me! I was watching it upstairs just now. It's really

weird, there's this girl with your name in it." Dawn said trying to cover herself up. Buffy grinned. Oz

looked slightly amused. "I told you never to eat Chinese re-heated. Especially from that new place."

Buffy said evilly. Dawn glared and looked over at Oz. "She'll be really happy you're here." Dawn

said before explaining to Buffy that they were going to go see a movie that night. And that Oz should

wait for Willow to get home at 4:30.

When both girls had left Oz sighed and crashed on the couch.

PART 2

Willow struggled up the drive and tried to keep herself conscious. The world was spinning and she

felt nauseous. That's your payment for not eating. She thought to herself. She walked passed Oz's

van. Great now you're hallucinating… Willow said to herself as she walked up to the summer's

door. She stared at the front 2 steps. They looked so much smaller when she wasn't starving and

tired.

Oz woke with a start from yet another dream. This time it was different though. He woke

up and he could smell her. He glanced around and realized he had fallen asleep on the Summer's

couch. He heard the sound of heels on pavement and looked outside. There she was. Pale, sweaty,

her nose was bleeding and her eyes were rolling from the back of her head to the front again. Oz ran

over to the door and flung it open. He was just in time to catch her before her head hit the first step

of the house. She had passed out. Oz didn't have anytime to think. She had fallen into his arms. He

slowly picked her limp unconscious body up and placed her onto the couch. He then ran to the

phone and dialed 911. He hung up and it all sunk in. he had known something had happened to her

but he had had no clue she was a wolf now as well. Yet he could smell it so strong on her. His gaze

fell on Willow. Blood covered one side of her face and her eyes fluttered like crazy. He stared for a

second before walking over to her and using his sleeve gently wiping the blood off her face. He

gently moved her long red hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. He then whispered, "I'm

sorry…" into her ear. He sat back and stared in shock at her until the ambulance came and took her

away….

**ok thats all, i hope you liked it... if you didn't thats ok too. just review... yes... I'm talking to you. yes you there... sitting in that chair. ok heres an idea, if you're sitting in a chair YOU HAVE TO REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_hey ppl, sorry it took me so long to update, but this chap should make up for that. hopefully. the new chap is coming soon, and yes it will have more W/O... i really like this chapter but tell me what you think..._**

**_DISCLAIMER: i don't own anything, wish i did. but i don't. though, hear this Joss, Oz is mine, we are having our wedding on the beach and guests are by invitation only! HA!_**

Oz sat in the waiting room doing just that. Waiting. For Buffy and Dawn. Or maybe it was Xander he had called. Who ever it was they were coming. Oz frowned. How could she have done that? Just froze. Given up on everything, starved herself almost to death. He decided to abandon his post for a while and go sit with her.

As he entered the room he noted she was still out. He took up a chair and sat. Sure; I mean that's what a chair is for. It felt so unnatural now. He closed his eyes and sighed as he took in his surroundings.

It all smelt like hospital. Nothing was natural, well except the over powering scent of blood and vomit mixed with bile, puss and other bodily excretions. It was enough to make _him_ sick. But that wasn't the worst part; just the feeling of the place was enough to make you _want_ to die. The general feeling of hopelessness, dread and death hung in the air like rotting compost. Oz didn't know how _anyone_ could recover in a place like this. It was like all the life was sucked out of you the moment you stepped into the door.

Oz opened his eyes. That didn't help either. If anything it made it worse. The hospital blue/aquamarine walls were dirty and full of dents and stains from beds being shuffled around.

Oz tore his eyes away from the wall colour and made himself look at her. his gaze went immedatly to the bag hanging on a metal rack that lead to the tube in her arm. It was the same stuff they give to comma patients that need _nurishment_. Oz felt anger bubble up in his stomach again. He couldn't wrap his mind around Willow starving herself into a comma. Sure, she was going through a rough time, but she had people around her that accepted her no matter what.

He stopped himself in mid-thought, was this what he had become? So in-human? He had lived alone so long he had forgotten what it was like to _not_ think rationally to the point of almost instinct. He had no need for emotions like happiness… he had lived alone for almost a year now.

All his pervious girlfriends had been a disaster since Willow, well until Sasha, but he wasn't ready to think about that yet. He remembered each break-up clearly, though with some of them he couldn't even remember their names. Most of them had the same excuse for breaking up with him, he was too quiet and into himself. Even at parties.

Others used the whole 'its not you, it's me…' thing of course they were just trying to be nice…

Then there was Becca… she blew cigarette smoke in his face and told him to get guitar lesions. That one hurt… less in the attachment way but in the starving musician way. Then she just walked away, he never saw her again; though, he was pretty sure she broke into his apartment and stole his dvd player as well as her underwear from the night before.

Oz shook his head and tried to make himself forget what had happened so long ago. He made himself focus all his attention on the figure under the covers of a starchy hospital blanket.

She was paler then before and her hair was longer. He smiled slightly; she still wore the same perfume. He let himself bask in the comforting scent for a few seconds and moved on. She was wearing more make-up. He guessed it was because of the dark circles around her eyes. She was thinner which he wasn't really surprised about. You have to eat a lot more when you're a werewolf because your body has to keep up an immune system that can keep you completely healthy and allow you to change.

At that point, Xander, Anya, Dawn, Buffy, Giles and Spike walked into the room. Oz looked up and shifted his chair to the side to allow everyone in the room. Everyone gathered around the bed except Spike who stuck to the shadows. Xander placed a small teddy bear on the nightstand and stepped back. No one said anything for a long time until Xander finally spoke up, his gaze never leaving the fluid in the bag or the needle in her arm. Oz knew the feeling. Helplessness. This bag was the only thing giving her support at the moment. "when do you think she'll wake up?" he asked no one in particular. "the doc. Said she should be up any time now. He body was under too much stress and couldn't take it because she hadn't eaten in so long" Buffy said

Oz frowned and spoke for the first time, startling some people, mostly Anya; because they had forgotten that he was there. "did they take blood work?" he asked. Everyone frowned at the odd question. Oz decided to elaborate. "wolf blood." He said explaining so much in only 2 words. Buffy frowned "I don't think so." She said finally.

It was quiet again for a few minutes and the Xander broke the silence. "So how's the Ozzinator?" He asked. Oz shrugged. He looked over at Willow. "could be better…" he answered finally. Everyone nodded and it went quiet again.

Anya broke the silence. "I knew a werewolf once… he mauled his girlfriend, and when I say mauled I mean, torn her to itsy bitsy pieces" she said mimicking the size with her fingers before continuing. "anyways with her dying breath she asked for vengence, she wanted him to suffer the same way she did. So…" she said helping herself to the basket of assorted fruits she had brought _for_ Willow before continuing. "when he woke up he hadn't remembered what he had done; so, I showed him using that magic I used to have… and he cried. He gasped something about her being the love of his life and how he just wanted to die. It was kinda hard to decifer what he was saying because he was blubbering so much. So, you know, I gave him his dying wish as well as his wife's, and he got torn into a thousand pieces." Anya said finishing and flicking her hand, before going back to the grapes. "these are great by the way, can I take these home with us?" she added looking at Xander. Xander shook his head and looked back at the group. "that's my girl…" he said shaking his head slightly.

The sun was now setting and the room was getting darker. Spike walked more into the room and sat down beside Oz. As he sat down his led brushed Oz's and he felt something hard. Spike arched his eyebrows. "whatcha got there wolf boy? Toys?" he asked, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. Oz frowned at the onlookers and pulled out a machine hand gun.

Dawn cocked her eyebrow, "last time I checked those didn't work on vampires." She said frowning. Oz glanced around the room. Giles was giving him that worried fatherly expression, it was so fine tuned after so many years. Oz finally decided that an explaination was quite nessisary. He unhooked the barrel and tipped out a custom made bullet. He held it up so everyone could see. "sliver of mahogany and you've got a stake as fast as a speeding bullet." He said shrugging. Everyone but Anya looked impressed.

"Why didn't we think of that?" Buffy asked. Everyone but Anya shrugged. There was a knock at the door and a nurse bustled in. she took Willow's temperature and heart rate, wrote it on a clip board and told them that she could only have one visitor at a time.

Oz almost snorted. He could of told the nurse everything she wanted to know. And he didn't need a machine. He shook his head and remained silent as the Scooby's disscused who would stay with her. he felt like an outsider, but then again that's what he was, wasn't he? He had deserted the group. The pack… He looked up when he heard his name. He had kind been zoning everything out. Dawn was in his face waving her hand infront of his eyes. He blinked and looked up.

"ground control to Major Oz? hellooooooo?" Dawn said, who enjoying waving her hand in his face. The heavy scented lotion she wore was starting to irritate his nose and he put up a hand and slowly grabbed her wrist and tugged it to her side. A slight smile passed across his face "nice, I'm sure Mcartny would be proud." He said quietly. Dawn grinned. Spike on the other hand, looked annoyed. "It's always _them_… anything but the Beatles… the Ramones, the Sex Pistols... anything!" he said going red in the face. Dawn turned around and rolled her eyes at him. "oh! its all the same!" she excalimed. "its bloody well not! I was _there_ luv! The Beatles were goodddie goods, they had absolutly no back bone!" Spike said shaking his head. At this point Buffy got up. She took Spike by the shoulders and forcefully lead him out of the room, everyone else followed.

Buffy came back inside again and stood there for a second and stared at Willow. Then she looked at Oz. "You have everyones number. If anything changes call us." She said stopping for a second and studied his face. "ever since Tara… you know… she's dreampt of you. This last week I caught her screaming your name in her sleep a bunch of times. I'm glad you're here Oz… she needs you here." She gave him a weak smile and closed the door softly behind her.

Oz sat a while not thinking about anything as he watched the setting sun. when he heart Willow sigh slightly. He stared where he was, eyes fixed on the lump under the covers. His senses attuned perfectly to the smallest sound. Willow took in a sharp breath of air and Oz could almost feel her eyes open.

She turned slightly and glanced around the room. Oz sat still, almost daring her to sense him. It was dark in the room and the only light came from the street lamps about 100ft away. "Oz?" she whispered to the darkness. Her eyes became attoned to the dark and her eyes landed on his form. She smiled slightly. Not knowing what to say he just sta there. compressed the anger that bubbled up to the surface. _she almost killed herself…_

"If I touch you… will you be real?" she asked. Oz went over to her and relief flooded the both of them. _It didn't matter now… _She reached out a pale hand and stroked his face, going over all the stubble. "Is-is this a dream?" she asked. Oz shook his head slowly, wondering the same thing. "You caught me…" she said smiling. "I told you I would…" he whispered. Both of them had tears in their eyes now. He reached out and stroked her cheek. The tears reflected in the street lights and fell down her face like a stars.

**_wow, i hope you liked that, please tell me if you did or not. this time you have to review if you have hair. yes hair. facial, head or otherwise, you got it... now review, and review NOW! tell me what you think of me writing Anya, I've never written her before so feed back would be of the good. the next chapter is coming soon )_**

**_W-B-D_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi readers! Sorry it took me so long to update but I finally thought of an ending and I made this chapter longer (I already had it written) hopefully it's not too long… (8 PAGES MICOSOFT WORD) I'm really excited to start the new chapter but I'm going away for 8 days or so and will hopefully come back with an even better chapter and even better ideas! So I will update soon, but not too soon. **_

**_DISCLAIMER: don't own Whelden-ish-ness… if I did the shows would still be on and Oz and Willow would still be together… I like W/T too but Oz is just so much hotter! Oh and I don't profit off anything I write… I wish, jeeze a career in writing would be a beautiful life! I just wish I was better at it…( _**

_**THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS!**_

**evil-chick-spike-lvr**- thanks C I hope you had fun in Las Vegas, I'm waiting for my hat! Tick tock!

**Gep**- thanks for the advice, I seriously really apprecate it! I hope all was explained about Oz's whole anger problem in this chap! He's not REALLY angry at Willow per say… If not the next chapter I will have him explain in greater detail. He's kinda just mad at himself right now, he's been burned pretty bad a few times and he's just trying to deal. Willow being a wolf isn't helping very much, but I promise he will try his best to get her in 'control' they still love each other, they just have to get through emotional barriers first, hopefully they do it together! I hope that explained everything… if not review and tell me so!

**Ozlover**- thank you so much for your second review! If all readers were like this I would be sooooooo happy! I'm glad you thought I wrote Anya well, I tried really hard but I've always found it hard to write her. and I dunno if I should invite you or not… you seem pretty intent on stealing him away from me ;)

**sweetypie-brat-** stupid looser! Jeeze I was crispy! Why would I go to the party all sun burned! Anyways, thanks for reviewing and c u tommorow! Review more this time and REALLY tell me what you think! Or else I won't call Ally ha! Then third wheel will you be… YESSSSSSSS

**mm4ever2gether**- I hope this was soon enough! thanks for the SECOND REVIEW! Woo hoo! I'm waiting for the third, I hope you enjoy the new chapter and I WILL review as soon as I can!

**CHAPTER 3: TRUTH**

Willow slowly sat up and looked around. "How long have I been out?" she asked. Oz checked his watch, "a little over 4 hours." He said. Willow frowned. There was a resounding gurgle that came from her stomach and a hunger that she had never felt before. Oz almost grinned, but instead gave her a meaningful smile. "Hungry?" he asked knowing the answer. Willow nodded, "extremely." She said frowning. "Can you walk?" Oz asked. Willow nodded. "Wanna go out for food. Hospital food sucks" Oz asked. Willow nodded pulled out her IV and Oz helped her walk out of the room.

Later on… (Willow was catching Oz up on the happenings in Sunnydale, between bites of pancake)

"Spike and Buffy, I'm happy for them… shocked. But happy" Oz said frowning and taking a sip of coffee. He stopped in mid slurp. He looked over at Willow who didn't seem to notice anything and was still eating. She glanced over at him and frowned. "What?" She asked. "Vampires…" Oz said trying to sniff through all the grease. "As in with an S?" Willow asked putting down her fork. Oz nodded. " About 7." He said getting up and pulling out his wallet and leaving a twenty on the table. Willow shoved the last pancake in her mouth and got up too. "Shouldn't we call Buffy?" Willow said instinctively pulling out her phone. Oz shook his head and walked out of the diner. _Wolf needs a workout anyways…_

They walked in silence for a while as they strode across the dewy grass and through the parking lot. Oz stopped and looked at Willow who was glancing around trying to figure out where they were going. Oz almost laughed… still the same Will… _the one that broke my heart… _

They stopped at the edge of the forest. "I gotta change." Oz said walking towards the forest. Willow frowned and looked at the backpack Oz had given to her when they exited the hospital. "So these are _your_ clothes?" she asked. Oz frowned entered the forest and bent behind some bushes. He then stripped off his clothes and tossed them to Willow, who still hadn't caught on to what he was doing.

In 2 minutes he was the wolf. He walked out from behind the bush and stretched his newly shapen body. Willow gasped but said nothing. Oz went over to her for a second and rubbed against her leg, letting her know it was ok. _I know it's not Willow I'm mad at; she just started the chain of events. Why am I so mad at her? _He thought to himself.Then he took off to go find some sport, or, in his case, vampires.

Upon finding them; he bestowed upon them the kind of hellish fun that came with a six year old finding his older brother's fireworks. He was right, there were seven in all and they all disappeared in a little under seven minutes.

Willow watched this brutal display of instinct and power with a mixture of disgust and pure interest on her face. It was Oz, but there was also the ripping off of limbs part. When the Oz wolf finished dusting the last vamp; then trotted back to Willow and growled very low before going back into the bushes and changing back. Willow tossed him his clothes and Oz came out of the bushes fully dressed and putting on his studded bracelets.

His anger dissipated as he saw her face, _it was never her_. She looked almost in awe. Amazed at his accomplishment. If he hadn't left he would have never found out how to control _she would never hurt him that bad_...

Willow watched as he walked over to her like nothing had happened, as calm as ever. And shoved his hands in his pockets. "I was just think' in we should probably get back to Buffy's… seeing as we never really signed you out of the hospital." He said. Willow frowned._ 'How could he be thinking when he was…like that?'_ Willow thought. It was hard to believe that she had been in the hospital just an hour ago.

She then nodded and they started heading toward the Summer's house. As they approached the house, Spike, Buffy and Xander were all standing outside arguing.

"I thought you said 'I got the keys!'" Buffy yelled at Spike. "No, I asked, got the keys?" Spike said shaking his head. Buffy looked like she was about to slap Spike, when she realized Xander was standing there… "You have the _keys_ right?" she asked hopefully. Xander shook his head. "No, but by all means, slap away, it would be an honor to watch you beat the crap out of fang boy." Xander said bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Oz and Willow approached and the bickering stopped. "Willow! Ah, alls alright in the land of Will again?" Xander asked stepping up and giving Willow a large hug. Buffy came next, whispering some words of anger but not bothering to do much more. To Oz's surprise; Spike gave Willow a hug also. "Good to see ya conscious again Red…" he said softly before letting her go.

Oz wanted to hug Willow too. I mean he _really_ wanted to hug her. He forced himself to stay put, she didn't want him anymore… she liked girls; _I'm lacking the boobs._

"Do any of you happen to have the keys?" Xander asked hopefully. Both red heads shook their heads. It was quiet for a moment and buffy said. "I really don't want to break in…" Xander frowned and looked at Oz in an attempt to lighten the situation. "Well, Oz, could huff and puff and BLOW the house in!" he exclaimed. Buffy brightened. "Yeah… little pigs little pigs…" she said grinning. Everyone but Oz laughed. Oz stayed stoic, though there was a twinkle of laughter in his calm eyes.

To everyone's surprise Oz stepped up to the house and played with the lock for a second using something that had been in his pocket. There was the click of the door opening after a few seconds and Oz swung open the door. Everyone walked inside. Oz shut the door and asked quietly. "Got any bacon?" Everyone howled with laughter. (Well except Oz, who broke out in a small smile.

Just then Giles knocked on the door, but unlocked it before anyone could get up. Dawn followed, they both looked winded. "Willow's missing from the hospital!" he exclaimed. He glanced at the group. "Well! We have to…" he started, stopping when he hit Willows gaze. "present!" she said smiling. "good lord! Next time try signing out hmm?" he said frowning. He shook his head and walked over to Willow. He gave her a quick hug and stepped back.

Dawn walked in and sat down next to Spike. Giles took off his glasses and wiped them; then sat down and joined the rest.

There was a loud crash and someone came through the front window. Oz smelt wolf…

As everyone UN stunned the guy got up and wheeled around to face Oz. "Jay…" Oz said standing… his eyes were on fire. "Oz…" the guy countered. The circled each other like predators, never loosing eye contact.

Oz let out an extremely low growl that sounded like it came from the pit of his stomach. It made the hair on the back of everyone's neck stand up. _Get away from my pack…_

The other guy let out an equally low growl… _you shouldn't be here… you know it…_

Oz snorted. _I don't have to listen to you anymore…_

"Murderer" Jay said walking past him. _He had won_. Oz walked out of the house got into his van and drove away. In the distance he could hear the sounds of yelling voices.

**OZ POV**

Oz just drove, he wasn't sure where and he really didn't care. Soon they would know… _everything_. Oz hit his fist on the driving wheel. What would he tell them? Would they even talk to him again? He finally pulled up into a parking lot.

He was at the Bronze. He was in Sunnydale; where else was he expected to go? He got out of the van and slammed the door behind him.

He walked into the crowded club and found a table. He didn't bother glancing up at the stage… _too many memories_…

_I found another way_

_To let my voice be heard_

_Found a way to get away_

_She left and it hurts like hell_

_But I found another way…_

_Cut myself and watch me bleed_

Oz looked up. He recognized this song. He had written it. The guitar was horrible though. Oz glanced at the band playing and his heart lightened slightly. It was the Dingoes! To his surprise Devon was playing guitar… badly. Very badly.

Oz let the set finish before going back stage…

**Willow POV:**

_MURDERER? Oz? her Oz? well, he wasn't hers anymore… _Buffy was yelling. "where the HELL do you get off breaking through my window and calling my FRIEND a murderer?" she cried she got off from the couch and was about to hit him, but stopped at the calm look on his face. He slowly raised his hand and put it down for Buffy to shake. "I'm Jay." He said calmly. Buffy was caught off guard. His striking blue eyes and dark curly hair made her feel under dressed.

Willow cleared her throat and Buffy snapped out of her trance. "who are you?" she asked more forcefully. she crossed her arms and rejected the hand shake. Jay raised his eyebrows and said. "a fellow do-gooder like yourself." He answered earnestly. He swept into a bow.

"do you also happen to be a liar?" Buffy asked an eyebrow cocking, she so couldn't see calm Oz as a murderer. Jay looked taken aback. Giles stood. "maybe we should listen to what this… um… Jay has to say." He said frowning at the new visitor. _If he was being truthful they could all be in danger_ he thought. Jay looked relieved.

His eyes flickered on Willow. "you're her? the one that broke his heart…" this wasn't a question it was a comment. Willow got mad. "how dare you?" she asked angrily. Jay raised his eyebrows, waiting for more… he didn't have to wait long.

"how dare you call Oz a murderer? How dare you treat me like I'm not here!" She cried. Anger pulsed through ever vein in her body. "you're a werewolf now hon… he can't see you again, he's been banished on a count of murder." Jay said calmly. Willow paled and slightly taken a back she sat.

" Spill, so I can spill you." Buffy said sitting down. "you want the whole story? That might take all night." Jay said sitting next to Willow and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She lit his hands on fire. "Don't touch me!" she snarled. "well you better start flapping, wolf boy." Xander said sitting back. "I gotta work tomorrow" he added.

"When I met Oz the second time, he was a mess. After he left Sunnydale, he went back to the whole meditation thing and found he couldn't do it anymore. He didn't care anymore. I found him you know, in a shit hole of an apartment. Sitting in a corner with a knife mutilating both his wrists. He had done this many times before, the scars go deep. Later on he told me that each night he bled himself to death and in the morning would re-generate again. He had also tried other suicide methods but was always to high or drunk to kill himself properly."

Jay stopped and looked around. Many of the faces he saw were pale and Willow was staring at him with a look of pure disbelief. "he would never…"she started but her voice trailed off. "I didn't see any scars" she said trying again. "he wears the bracelets over them." Jay said answering the question.

"We had been friends before, in the monastery. I didn't believe it either. I didn't believe anyone could fall that far. Well anyone like Oz at least…" Jay's voice trailed off.

"he got better… of course. I took him to my house and he got through… he was better for it. He started dating again, sure it didn't go that well… well until he met Sasha. Then he was the Oz I had known and more. His sadness seemed to melt away and he started writing songs that weren't about death or sadness and started writing songs I couldn't believe could have come from him. They were engaged you know…" Jay's voice sounded strangled and he stopped again as if struggling to tell everyone what happened next.

"then they were captured. By a werewolf hunter. A damn good one if I may say. His name was blade. He had been hunting them for a while and I kept telling them to keep moving and never stay in a place more then one day. Neither of them were the kind of people to run. Especially Sasha, she had been a werewolf since birth. She and the wolf shared a body with perfect harmony and sometimes she found it hard to control her natural instincts. The day Oz proposed they came back to the hotel they had been staying at and were captured. Don't get me wrong they put up a tough fight, even with the silver dust they had infected the air with each of them took out about 20 of their captors before passing out."

Jay stopped again and looked around, Willow looked pale and almost to the point of passing out. Everyone else looked intrigued except Spike who looked bored. Buffy seemed to notice Willow as well. "are you sure you don't wanna go to bed Will… you look like hell" Buffy said. Willow looked up and shook her head. "I want to know what happened." She said quietly. She nodded and Jay continued.

"We managed to get Oz out but it was too dangerous to go back for Sasha. Needless to say Oz hated this plan. He got pretty dark and the elders had forbidden him to even hear the rescue plans for Sasha. One night he just snuck out and got back to the compound. Of course the ones guarding them were human, which was a good choice. The first rule in the code of the werewolf is never to kill a human. Well, at least that's the rule in the civilized world of the werewolf. He killed them all. Everyone one of them was found brutally mauled. He got into the cell Sasha was being kept and got her out. Then he went back and killed Blade.

Sasha wasn't in good shape, she had been tortured… by the time he got her home she was barely breathing. She died later on. Oz was banished and I haven't seen him since." Jay noted the looks he was getting, astonishment, and anger. "I'm not saying I didn't care about Sash' but you should have seen the corpuses" jay said backing away. He glanced around again. "where's Willow?" he asked. Everyone looked around. Spike raised his eyebrows. "you just told her, her ex is a mass murderer, now she's just gonna sit her and let it slip?" he asked.

**OZ POV **

Devon greeted me with open arms and shots all around. Which was good. The alcohol helped take the edge off. More and more shots kept coming. Vodka, Zambuka, Jell-O, more vodka, sakhi, more vodka and some other stuff I didn't even bother looking at, before it went down the hatch.

Soon I was up on stage with my former band, yeah, Devon had this whole. "Dingoes unite!" epiphany. I stood there holding a guitar that wasn't mine and waited for everyone to pick a song. I started and the band followed. _They were never good at making decisions. _It was like old times, except I was drunk and uncomfortable, though I was starting to forget why.

Then it came. The sensation of falling off a cliff. My moment of glory up on the comforting stage….Had I drank too much? No, never too much. Vertigo was familiar, dragging me toward the edge. I couldn't help but think… I've stumbled into the wrong building. I've stumbled into the wrong town. I've stumbled into the wrong world; again. My moment always comes, upon a second, upon a beat and I let the light lead me down the path of spilling it all out, even though no one really knows what the hell I'm saying with my fingers. They will never know and neither will she. When I touch the strings of my guitar, I touch those wounds I have created and I cleanse them, dry them; I bleed them as an early doctor might have. An early doctor might have called me mad. He might have been right to say so. My fingers create intricate patterns over the strings spilling out what I would never have the guts to say. Then I smell her. Her scents like an old friend come to say hello. She was here watching. The vertigo gave way to a sinking feeling and I was pulled back to earth. Back into reality. She knew about me. Jay; the bastard he is, would have told them everything. But he didn't understand, no one did. He finished his solo played the rest of the song and snuck out of the club before Devon or anyone else would notice. 

Oz stepped out into the night. The cool air was comforting, he took a few deep breaths and made his way to his van. He had to leave. Again. Did it matter anymore? They all knew. He reached the van got in and slammed the door. what a mess. _I should just go home. But home is nowhere…_

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sliding door opening and closing. Then the passenger's door opened and Willow got in.

_This is getting way too familiar…_ Oz thought as he stared at her. Willows jaw was locked. "Drive." She said turning to him. "You might wanna get out first" Oz said frowning. "Just drive." Willow commanded. Oz turned around and looked at the back seat, there between the messes was a duffel bag. "Where to?" Oz asked suddenly feeling even more uncomfortable. "Just out of here." Willow said again. Oz hesitated. _She was coming with him, but she knew…_ "Drive." Willow commanded more fiercelyOz started the ignition and drove.

I forgive you… 

**A.N.**

_**Ooooooooooh another cliff hanger? How could I? I hope you liked this chapter if you are reading this you must review if you are blessed with skin! So there HAHA! YOU GOT SKIN! TELL ME BY REVIEWING! SO THERE!I want it to be noted that this chap is just an over view to the accounts Oz will share with Willow in the next chapter. I need this chap to explain some things but nothing in detail yet. I know the way Jay describes Oz in this chap, isn't the way I would have put it but I promise you guys a first hand account from Oz in the next chapter. That and you get to find out Oz's big secret… review now, the link on the bottom left hand corner! Go now or else!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey readers! Sorry it took me so damn long to update, this is a really depressing chapter and it took a while to get everything the way I wanted it to sound, still it could probably use some more work but I wanted to get this chap finished by today. I'm also gonna say that this chap is graphic and there's some language, so be aware. And enjoy. Also note I'm sorry for the crappy writing of Willow in this chap, please forgive me, I just wasn't in the 'willow flow' Please review I need reviews to keep going!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: don't own any Wheldon or the song 'Hotel California' by 'The Eagles', though I do own Blade, Sasha and Jay…**_

_**SUMMARY: A werewolf bites Willow and Oz comes back to town followed closely by Jay. Chaos ensues… if you haven't read the other chapters I suggest you do or you'll be left in the dust, for lack of a better saying…**_

_**Without further adu… **_

It was a silent ride out of town until they his the 'now leaving Sunnydale, 'we hope you had a pleasant come again soon' sign.

Oz glanced over at Willow, wondering when they were gonna stop. There was a look of defiance in her face and her jaw was still locked. He guessed stopping wasn't in her line of thought yet.

Willow kept her eyes on the sign until they had completely passed it before she turned to Oz finally letting him see the tears that had fallen on the trip out of town. Some of these tears were from fear, of him, of her; tomorrow was her first change.

They both locked eyes and he saw her tears. He felt his features relax and he tried to give her a reassuring smile before looking back at the road. Willow knew what she needed to hear. His side of the story.

The way that… guy… explained it sounded nothing like Oz. She just had to work up the courage to ask him. She knew he knew this and was waiting patiently for her to do so, but she just couldn't bear to ask her ex if he was a murderer. She took in a quick breath of air and turned towards him.

"Oz?" she asked, silently willing herself to go on. Oz turned around again ripped away from the painful memories that he had gone over in his head millions of times.

_If only I had told her to wait outside…_

"Yeah?" he asked staring into Willow's green blue eyes. He took in a breath knowing what was coming.

"He-he said you-you… but you couldn't of. Not you. Never you…" Willow choked. She couldn't go on anymore, her throat suddenly went dry and seized up on her.

_I've killed too…for love…she tried but failed _

Oz watched expressionless as he fumbled with his emotions. He looked back to the road as a distraction, but couldn't do that for long. She was waiting; tormenting herself for something she thought was so un-believable.

Finally he looked back at her. This time he couldn't meet her eyes. "It was true…" he whispered finally. Willow let out what sounded like a sharp intake of air. Oz sighed. Willow struggled for her lost voice again and when she did get it back it was as soft as a whisper. "Tell me everything…"

Oz flicked on the ancient cruise control and turned back to the road. It took him a couple of seconds and then finally he spoke.

"I left Sunnydale and went back to my apartment in Cleveland. From the moment I had driven out of town I had felt broken. Like something was wrong, like my purpose and place in the world had been ripped out of my soul." Oz knew he was upsetting her. Tried to stop but couldn't; someone had to know, the only other person that knew was dead and it was his fault.

"I couldn't believe I just left you again… I couldn't accept the fact I had abandoned you again. I just couldn't. I had missed you so much, so many things I needed to tell you and that all just melted away. I was tearing my heart out a second time." Oz said his eyes never leaving the road.

"Soon I found I couldn't control my changes anymore… I couldn't concentrate anymore. Then I found I didn't care. It felt like nothing mattered. So I…" Oz choked this was harder than he thought.

Willow on the other hand was shaking her head. "No-no… Oz you didn't try to…" the words were too painful even thinking about them brought tears to her eyes; eyes of which were locked on the black studded bracelets on each of Oz's wrists. She was suppressing sobs now and had started shaking.

Oz put a hand on her shoulder. She slowly brought her hand up and placed it on his. It was ice cold. He gave her a small smile of assurance and allowed her to slowly take of the bracelet. She twisted his hand over and gasped at the bright white scars. They reflected of the moonlight. There were so many of them, over lapping distorting the whole wrist. Criss-crossing.

Willow's hand shook as she ran her fingers over them, smoothness turning into bumpy as the scars separated themselves from one another. The tears she had been holding back now flooded her eyes and fell down her face and collecting on the bottom of her chin. "Oh my God… Oz…" her voice caught.

Oz stared down ay his wrists too. The only memories of nights like that coming back to him in little fragments, all so blurry and dream like…

_Sitting in a pool of his own scarlet blood, semi-conscious the white silk curtains blowing in the spicy midnight air. Silver dagger still in hand. Though getting hard to grasp. Somewhere far below a baby crying. The smell of the blood like an incentive to keep carving. Frustration building upon finding out that I was too weak to lift the dagger to my wrist. The sensation of my arms starting to become numb. Then the numb ness traveling through the rest of my body. The last feeling I get it the blood drying and sticking to me like sap. Cold as ice it embraced my body, stuck me too the floor. My mind; relentless on keeping its hold on reality, constantly sucking me back to the hard wood floor, before everything faded into black. _

_Getting sucked back into reality through all the black, like being sucked through a giant vacuum cleaner the un-nerving feeling of hitting corporeal-ness again like an un-expected slap in the face. Being trapped inside my broken world again. Then my body hits ice and all is hard and cold again. The cycle then starts again. My heart beats again, my consciousness being pulled back into the world._

_Waking up days later in the last place I remembered, still stuck in my own blood. Becoming even lonelier knowing that no one had even found my body. Then getting up, scrubbing the floor clean during the day and the cycle started again the same night_

"When Jay found me he took me to his place, picked me up and dusted me off. Slowly I got better. When I say slowly I mean like 6 months of working at Pizza Hut just to get some human interaction."

Oz almost smiled, "that's where I met her…" he half whispered.

"_Deep dish pizza no sauce no cheese."_ _I looked up to see a beautiful woman with short chestnut hair biting her lip and looking up at the menu. I could smell the wolf on her… I walked up to the counter and she stared for a second._

"_You on a diet or something?" I asked wondering how we were gonna make a pizza with nothing on it. "Naw just wondering how much meat I can afford to shove onto the sucker" she said grinning._

"I met her there, we clicked and after that we were never too far away from each other. Which in the long run was a mistake. But for that time… it was some of the best days of my life…" Oz explained taking out a picture from his wallet and handing it to Willow before going back to watching the road.

Willow took the picture silently. The corner was crumpled and the shiny gloss was all but shiny. When she finally had the guts to look down at it she saw a tall smiling woman. She had striking green eyes with gold flecks, mahogany brown shoulder length hair cut all choppy. It looked like it was always in her eyes. She had freckles and was grinning; her nose was all crinkled up. Oz was beside her with the same stoic smile he always had on but with a sparkle in his eyes she had never seen before.

Willow looked up again and her thoughts fell on Tara. She missed those times so much, just lying in bed, knowing that they had to get up but just stealing their last couple of seconds with each other. She sniffed a little before handing back the photograph.

"We lived in an apartment right by the beach. We surfed, wrote songs; even had a band. We lived for the weekend…" Oz said remembering those beautiful times when the world seemed to be new. Like it had regenerated itself again. They had lived for the moment because the moment was all they had.

God he missed her.

"_Up for from pre-dawn surfing?" She grinned and ran off before he could answer. Newly waxed board swinging at her side. He followed closely behind her; a grin sliding onto his face as she stripped off her clothes and ran into the foamy water. He followed suit, the smell of the on coming dawn and salt water filling his nostrils and making his heart soar higher than any mere bird. _

_She was the first one standing but soon they were both up riding the waves with un-natural balance and instinct. _

_Soon the surfing but a memory they embraced in the golden glow of the dawn. They kissed passionately before coming up for air. The foamy green ocean embracing both bodies..._

_They walked home hand and hand the clothes on the sandy shoreline all but forgotten. _

"We completed each other. Human and wolf it didn't matter, the bond was deep." Oz said pulling out of the memory. Willow remembered Tara and nodded. Oz deserved that kind of love too. She missed Tara so much sometimes; it was like the world had stopped spinning after she left.

Oz frowned at the memory; it had been so long since he had thought of Sash as she was. As she should be remembered…

Meanwhile,

Everyone back at Slayer central was going bananas. "Where the hell do they think they're going!" Jay cried his face reddening. Buffy; who was just about to say the same thing shook her head. "I can't believe they did that." She added through her teeth.

Xander frowned from his place on the couch. "She loved him, he loved her. Nothings gonna happen to them. I'm sure they'll pick up the old telephone and give us a call when they get everything settled." He said knowingly.

Jay scowled; you could almost see the vain pumping in his forehead. "But my orders were to…" "Take Willow away to your Nancy boy monastery before Oz could get to er; and make er feel better with 'erself." Spike said looking up. "She wouldn't have gone with you anyways…" he added looking up.

"But she's with a murderer!" Jay tried to explain. Giles looked around the room. He remembered Glory and Ben. Hell, half the people in the in the room were murderers for the cause. This kid was just too young to see that yet. He was pretty sure it wasn't exactly Oz's situation but he trusted the fact that Oz had done what he had thought was right.

He would have killed Angelus for what he did to Jenny, he just wasn't strong enough. Not being able to do that still tore his heart apart. Revenge is human nature. But human nature was nothing compared to the power of love. Love could move mountains, make miles into millimeters. The world moves aside for love.

Back in the V.W.:

Both young adults were stuck in their own memories…

_The sun was setting on the night of the full moon. Both lovers were lying on the dock, welcoming the change. The moment the sun disappeared behind sparkling water he turned to her and smiled. He waited until they had eye contact before pulling a small velvet covered box out of his pocket_

"_Marry me?" he whispered. She smiled "thought you'd never ask baby…" she said embracing him. She pulled back for a second and whispered in his ear. "I have a surprise…" before the change took hold. _

Oz felt the tears on his cheek for the first time and glanced over at Willow who seemed pretty into herself as well. He had just enough time to wipe his eyes with his sleeve before she looked up at him ready for more.

"We were on our way back from the beach at dawn, we had just changed back and were walking into the apartment when I smelt it. There were intruders inside. I tried to get her to just walk away but she insisted we fight for our home. She had always given logic a backseat to instinct to her, our territory was being violated and she wouldn't stand for it. She was born a wolf and that's just the way she had always done things. She and the wolf went hand in hand, you couldn't have one without the other. She wouldn't have it any other way. She embraced that part of her life and just that notion helped me to do the same, though I always gave instinct a backseat to logic."

Oz looked over at Willow and gave her a slight smile. She had been silent since he had began and he appreciated it. Willow reached over and squeezed his hand. He knew it was more for her assurance than his; but it helped slightly.

_They barged into the apartment fangs and claws baring. He knew it was a trap the second he heard someone lock the door behind them. The air stung his lungs and made them burn. He took the first one on easily slitting its throat with a silver blade. The next one was harder but finally it fell harder than the first. _

_By the time he got to the 6th his eyes and throat were burning. He looked around desperately for one of the masks the intruders had. He glanced around to see Sasha viciously tearing the head off the closest imposter. That's when he felt the sharp pain on his head as the baseball bat made contact. He staggered only for a second and was back on his feet dealing out one of hardest punches he had ever had the pleasure of being on the giving side of. _

_They fought for what seemed hours against the relentless intruders and by the time there was no more remaining strength in his body his lungs had had just about enough. What ever they had poisoned the air with was slowly breaking them down. Soon taking in a breath was more painful than his other wounds. _

_Finally he fell. With the last of his blurred vision he saw Sasha fall as well. Her face screwing up in agony as she hit the floor at an odd angle. There was the sound the bone-shattering crunch of her shoulder splintering and then it all turned to haze before the darkness wound its arms around him and he passed out._

"We fought and eventually fell. The next thing I remember is waking up alone; in a cage." Oz said sorrowfully. Willow looked stunned "Oz…" she half whispered. "You don't have to…" she tried again. "It's okay, someone has to know." Oz said tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

Willow nodded. "The next thing I knew I was locked in a cage in someone's basement. Alone. The owners of the house were there too. Well… their bodies at least. The place reeked of death and blood… "

_The cage kept getting smaller and smaller as he came in and out of consciousness. The record player in the corner blared "hotel California" by the eagles over and over. _

_On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair  
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air  
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light  
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim  
I had to stop for the night_

_The seconds took hours. His thoughts never leaving Sasha. Was she alright? Was she dead? Did she manage to fight her way out? The song blared on. His head was booming but it hurt to breathe more than anything else. He had to will himself to take one breath at a time. _

_There she stood in the doorway;  
I heard the mission bell  
And I was thinking to myself,  
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'  
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way  
There were voices down the corridor,  
I thought I heard them say..._

_His hands kept going numb as he was tied to a chair. He tried to wolf but couldn't this was probably what scared him the most. He couldn't even feel the wolf inside him anymore. This made him panic. The wolf was so much apart of him and now he couldn't even draw out the strength to break the duct tape that confined him to the wooden chair. He wondered if Sasha was going through the same thing. He wondered if she was alive. It hurt so bad to think of her as dead. No. She wasn't dead. She was safe at home, waiting for him. He had to get out._

_Welcome to the Hotel California  
Such a lovely place  
Such a lovely face  
Plenty of room at the Hotel California  
Any time of year, you can find it here_

"_Welcome Daniel, we hope your stay has been comfortable," a sickly sweet male voice said from the shadows. Oz opened his mouth and tried to retort, upon finding he had lost his voice; so instead he spat some of the blood in his mouth on the ground. His chest shuddering from the effort. He looked back up to the shadows and could almost see his interrogator smile. "It hurts doesn't it?" he cooed from the darkness. Anger bubbled to the surface but Oz managed to keep his face stone. Upon finding his lost voice he croaked. "And if that wasn't enough you had to torture me with the interior design too."_

_Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends  
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends  
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.  
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget_

_So I called up the Captain,  
'Please bring me my wine' _

"_Always incompetent… we can change that." The voice said again. "So when would that be? What with the hiding in the dark corner cowering over the scary werewolf." Oz said glaring at the corner. "Yes… well that's the problem isn't it? All this rebellion from the animals. It's gotta stop. So I'm going to ask you once, where is the rebel base?" Blade said stepping into the sunlight pouring through the window. A long scar ran down his face and his dark military haircut shone with streaks of silver. Several of his teeth were missing and he was wearing cargos and a muscle shirt, his sweat beaded on his upper brow and showed up as darker marks on his shirt, in his armpits and his back.  
_

_He said,'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'  
And still those voices are calling from far away,  
Wake you up in the middle of the night  
Just to hear them say..._

_Oz couldn't help but raise his eyebrows. "Rebel base?" he asked frowning. "You know what I mean" Blade said a vain protruding from his greasy forehead. He slowly walked closer to the cage and tripped over the smaller of the two bodies still on the floor. He cursed angrily and cried for a few henchmen to clean up the mess. "Yeah, I've been meaning to tell you…" Oz started. Blade wheeled around teeth grinding in anger. "The maid service sucks, if they are getting paid commission, I suggest installing cameras." Oz managed to stammer. "Don't get cocky yet boy, the fun isn't even here yet. I've tried asking nicely but it seems we have to do this the hard way." Blade said inspecting his greasy hair through the reflection of the window. Oz let out a bark of a laugh; it sent spazzums of pain down his left arm. Blade let a sly smile slip onto his face. "Paint the window black." He said to the muscular henchmen. _

_Welcome to the Hotel California  
Such a lovely place  
Such a lovely face  
They livin' it up at the Hotel California  
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis_

_Mirrors on the ceiling,  
The pink champagne on ice _

With that Oz was confined to complete darkness. It choked him. Closter phobia set in. his breathing got anything but better. Slowly his lungs were breaking down. He hadn't been fed in days and no one had even been in he room he was in what he guessed was about three days. Now the mind can be a blessing but it can also be hell. And for Oz the what 'if's' just kept getting bigger. Slowly they started eating at him, like a cancer

_And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'  
And in the master's chambers,  
They gathered for the feast  
The stab it with their steely knives,  
But they just can't kill the beast_

_Oz woke up. The wolf pulling him to consciousness. Suddenly forgetting where he was. He eased his eyes open and looked around. His eyes widened as he remembered his current situation. He calmed slowly and then realized what woke him in the first place. The wolf was back. Relief flooded through his body calming his tense muscles. He let the wolf mingle with his mind for a while and he picked up some scents, which gave him more of an idea where he was. _

_He was just about to break his bindings when the door opened and 4 army guys entered each holding an AK47. They came toward him showing not fear, Oz sat and waited for his bindings to be cut loose before trying to stand and fight. However lack of hunger made him dizzy and he still had a problem breathing. Instead he ended up leaning on one of the guards for support. He chuckled and pushed him to a standing position. Oz wobbled for a second and got his feet back. One of the guards poked the butt of his gun into Oz's back and Oz moved forward._

_He was lead down a long hallway and into a room that looked like it used to be a rec. room because there was a pool table in the middle. Oz frowned. Why would I be here? He thought to himself. Then he noticed the pool table had been tampered with. There were now large leather restraints on one of each of the four sides. The guards lead him towards the pool table. They stopped and waited for orders from Blade who was sitting on a crushed velvet easy chair with a smirk on his face. Oz eyed all four guards wearily. He knew what was coming next. Yet he couldn't help smirking slightly "rack it up boys." He said eyeing the guards. One's lip twitched. It was silent for a few seconds more. Blade surveyed Oz and Oz stared back coldly. "Do as he says." Blade said with a wave of his arm. At that the guards grabbed his arms and legs and swiftly pulled him onto the pool table. "Yeah, rack IT up." Blade hissed. Oz struggled against the strength of the men and managed to shake one off, only to be shoved back onto the table._

_Last thing I remember, I was  
Running for the door  
I had to find the passage back  
To the place I was before  
_

_The room was dark except for the one hot light directly over top of him. Oz stared at it a moment dazed. Until Blade bent over him grinning maliciously. "Where are your friends hiding?" he asked. Oz couldn't comprehend the words for a second, as the wolf sensed Sash's scent in the air. Finally he croaked "Sasha…" his eyes fluttered wildly, before he finally settled on keeping them closed. He heard the hiss of metal and smelt the hotness, but he couldn't do anything but lie still. He felt his shirt being pulled off and heard the searing on as the red-hot poker collided with his chest. Then the blinding pain came, it was numb for a few seconds but then it came in agonizing waves. His lips never parted, he made no sound, he couldn't he was in too much shock. Finally the pain subsided into a dull ache. _

_Blade came into his blurry vision again "ready to talk now?" he asked. Oz blinked up at him, his clothes smelt of her blood. "What did you do to her?" Oz demanded attempting to sit up. The wolf flashed in his eyes and using all his strength he sat up breaking the leather bands holding his arms and wrapping his hands around Blade's throat. His stomach burned as his skin adapted to being in an up right position. Ice pierced his spine and yet his hold stayed. He looked into Blade's icy gray eyes and watched the panic spark as lack of oxygen began to take its toll. _

_Then he felt 4 strong pairs of hands forcing him back down to the table. Oz screamed and struggled but all he could do was go along with them at the end. Blade came back into view, leaning over top of him, a sneer plastered on his face. Oz smiled inwardly at the redness of his neck. "I see you need a new dose…we can't have the big bad wolf come back in our sessions now can we? Give me the syringe." he demanded. One of the guards came over and handed Blade a black velvet box. "This will make Mr. wolf go away for a while." Blade said holding up a syringe containing an icy blue liquid. Oz stopped struggling and froze. The blood rushed out of his face. Years ago he would have died for a cure. Now it scared him to the point where he shook violently. The thought of loosing the wolf again was enough to bring him over the edge._

_'Relax,'said the night man,  
We are programmed to receive.  
You can checkout any time you like,  
but you can never leave_

_Blade smiled. He took the syringe up and examined it for a second. Oz cried again as he felt the cool metal pierce his skin. He felt the wolf die inside him once more, being conscience for it was more devastating than anything physical they could do to him, his body began to shake, not being able to pull strength from the wolf any longer. He looked up at Blade, his hatred coming to the surface. He wanted to scream, but no longer hand any control over his body. He started to panic and found he was now slightly paralyzed. The next thing he remembered he was dumped back into his cage…_

"I was tortured and sent back to my cage on a daily basis, each day it felt like they took another piece of my soul. Worst of all I knew Sasha was going through the same thing. I was just about at my breaking point. I could feel it, if Blade asked that question again holding that syringe I would break, I would have told him everything.

Then Jay and the rest of the band came storming into the compound and pulled me out of there." Oz stopped again, looking into Willow's green eyes. Emotion welled up in his throat as he continued. "They couldn't get Sasha out, I wasn't conscious at the time, but when I woke up I was in a bed for the first time in 2 months. When Jay came in to look up on me I found I was in the monastery, that's when he told me they couldn't get Sasha out. He said she was most likely already dead. He told me I was brought back from the brink. At that point I would have rather died.

He also told me that the stuff in the air was silver dust, and it had slowly broken down my lungs to the point where there were holes. That I could no longer run." The emotion of that day returned to him and tears fell down his face. They were echoed with the rain falling on the window shield as Oz stared out into the darkness.

"I had been there for a grand total of 2 months. Most of which I can only remember when I sleep." Oz paused for a second; and for the first time Willow noticed the giant dark bags under his eyes, she was going to suggest they stop the van and get some sleep, when Oz continued,

"That night rage got the best of me and found my way to the library. There I found where they kept the floor plans for the building they were keeping her in and left. Sure I was still weak, but the wolf and rage powered me and I killed everything in that fucking compound. When I got to Blade, I did something worse, well, at least worse to him, than death. I bit him. Changed him into the one thing he despised the most. One of us…" Oz stopped for a second shaking with pure emotion.

He thought of the faces that haunted his dreams every night. Staring up at him with the empty eyes. He had done that. He wouldn't admit that he felt remorse for those he killed but he did… Even more than that though, he felt hollow. Then the memory of her mangled body came back to him and more tears flowed.

"When I found her she was lying in a pool of vomit, her finger and toe nails were gone. Her breathing was worse than mine had ever been and she was delusional. I remember scooping her body up in my arms and barely feeling any weight. Her eyes opened for a second and rolled into the back of her head. He hair was gone. Her clothes were gone and her back was mutilated. When she felt someone holding her, she spat at my face, the spit was red, and it smelt of bile and rot. Yet she still fought against my hold with what ever strength she had left." Oz stopped he remembered the moment like it had just happened. He had whispered in her ear, told her who it was and that he was so sorry. He had known… it was only a matter of time.

"I had carried her to our apartment and placed her on our bed. Everything was mangled. Like the day we had been taken. I dabbed her hot head with a cool cloth and stroked her cheek softly. I whispered in her ear. But I could tell she only had a few hours. I held her hand and listened to her heart beat get fainter when it finally stopped. I stood up and walked away. I- I had, failed them…" Oz's voice caught for the first time. And he looked down as tears streamed down his face while he remembered his beautiful Sasha.

Willow stared into his face; it was screwed up in pain and sadness. She knew this had hurt him more than anything that had come before. She had no idea… then suddenly she realized something. She knew she shouldn't but she had to know, "who's they?" Willow asked.

Oz looked up, his red eyes softened as he remembered the moment; the night after he had proposed Sasha had told him… he was going to be a father. "She was pregnant…" He said. A ghost of a smile had appeared on his face.

**There you go folks, that's the big secret! It's so good to have that out in the open. I really hated writing this chapter until the end. I'm sorry it's so long but it had to be I had promised you guys that the secret would come out. So now it's out and we all know what happened to Oz. Next chap should come soon and will have Willow's first change. It will also introduce you to the better side of Jay and some more memories. Until then, please review…**


	5. chap 55 parties and pasts

_**Hey readers, sorry it took me so long to update, my computer kept crashing, hopefully you'll like this chapter, it's a bit lighter than the last two and I've already started the next one, but no promises on when that will be posted, I have 3 provincials (Canada, government exams, terrible waste of time money paper and lengthy confusing questions. In math English and science) to write in February and ones in my worst subject (math sucks! Especially grade 10 stuff) so I'll be posting either really soon or after my birthday which is February 5th. Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers and have a gooder (heh new word) new year, till next we meet, fairthee well, me hats off to you all!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: don't own anything, profit off anything, etc… also don't own, the bands the songs and whatever else they can sue me for… (don't sue me I love you)… the bands being "Spirit of the West" and "A Perfect Circle" excellent bands, buy their albums… (ha see band ppl, publicity.. good for sales. Ehh, come on it's the holiday season ppl!) I do own Jay and Sasha and Blade(not the movie or the vampire, MY character) and whoever else I decide to put in this…. (evil genius laugh) muhahahahahahahahahaha!**_

_**Heh, on to the fic…**_

**Chapter 5: parties and pasts…**

**Back at Scooby central…**

Jay was trying to think rationally, he paced back and fourth in the room, barely noticing that everyone from a safe distance on the couch was watching him.

If he went back to the monastery empty handed the monks might get suspicious, but if he did decide to follow Oz and Willow, he would probably get his ass kicked. _Do I really care?_ He stopped for a second and looked up. Finally realizing that everyone in the Summers house was watching him and wondering what he would do next.

He examined them carefully going from one person to the next. Wondering how such an odd group of individuals ended up fighting on the same team.

"You know, if you keep pacing like that eventually you will ruin the carpet. We get enough carpentry work done here already, may I suggest the basement? It has a nice concrete floor which you can pace all you want on." Buffy commented pointing towards the stairs.

Jay stopped and stared at the dead serious slayer and cocked an eyebrow "is that it? Send the scary werewolf down to the basement so he doesn't ruin the carpet?" he asked crossing his arms with a grin. "You're not going to have an accident are you? You better be housetrained" Dawn said grinning. "Besides, you're intruding on our_, welcome home Oz_, trip to the Bronze." Xander said getting up to grab his coat. Giles rolled his eyes. "I could slay you if you want; but you know, again I mention the carpet." Buffy said following Xander's example and getting up also.

Jay stared in total confusion as he watched everyone start to head to the door. "What'll it be wolf boy, basement or Bronze?" Dawn asked, walking out the door. Jay opened his mouth to say something but found himself stunned. He broke though their window and now they were inviting him to a party where the guest of honour had skipped town with their friend. He shrugged; it's better than going back to the monastery and getting frowned upon for not completing a simple task.

They all headed out the door and into the rain as they started down the sidewalk. It was at that point it dawned upon him that this was the strangest group he had ever been in. there was a vampire, a vampire slayer, the slayer's kid sister, an old English dude, a regular guy and of course him, being a werewolf just didn't seem that special when he was in this group.

… When they finally got to the small crowded hole in the wall club, it was pouring. Jay glanced up to the stage and found 3 guys looking slightly confused and depressed standing there attempting to figure out what song they were playing next._ This won't do… _he thought as he passed through the huge crowd of teens and young adults behind Spike… or at least he thought the vampire's name was Spike, he was never too good with names.

When they finally found a table everyone sat and the carpenter took the drink orders, I put my bid in for a rum and coke, though I too busy wondering who the hell the guys on stage were, they were absolutely murdering an old Zeppelin song, _Christ, I could do better_, okay, so maybe I couldn't do better, if I was by myself; but if I had an actual band behind me yah, I would be better. It wasn't even the _whole_ band, just the lead singer, sure his voice was okay but the guitar was like he had on 6 inch pink prosthetic nails on and was taking swigs out of a bottle of snuggle detergent. _I had to **do** something…_

_**JAY POV**_

My fingers twitched as the lovely alcohol arrived. I looked around the table again, my eyes falling on the blond slayer, she was nice. The brunette was good too but she looked a little young, she caught me looking at her and blushed slightly. Yeah, a bit young, and human I found they never did achieve the right amount of stamina. My ears perked up again as the horrible music came to a stop.

I breathed a sigh of relief and took a sip of my drink. By the time I looked up again the horrible guitar player was standing right there.

"Have you guys seen Oz, he was here and then he kinda left…" Devon asked Buffy. Buffy frowned, "Sorry Devon, I don't think he'll be back for a while." Buffy said frowning and glancing at Jay. Devon sighed, "great, back to playing guitar, the one instrument that kills your fingers and then, there's the fact that I'm tone deaf…" Devon said running a hand through his hair. "I'm guessing none of you can be a decent substitute then huh?" he asked grinning at the faces around the table. He frowned as he saw Jay. "Devon" he said holding out his hand. Jay took it and grinned. "So you're the infamous Devon and the Dingoes. I've heard a lot about you." Jay said grinning.

When Devon looked confused, "Oz was in my band too, back in Miami. Though he refused to let us see any of his old Goddamn sheet music. Said you would come after him if we ever made it big." Jay said grinning. Devon grinned too, "that I would. Don't suppose you can play guitar?" he asked. "Well, I can give it justice, though I could never match Oz in a million years." Jay said looking longingly towards the stage.

Devon laughed, "good enough for me!" he exclaimed holding out his thrift store 6 string. I got up and looked around the table, no one looked too surprised. Although, Spike cocked an eyebrow in his direction. Jay shrugged it off and a sly grin slid onto his face as he turned and walked towards the stage. _This was going to be fun…_

* * *

Willow tried to hide her surprise. She had never thought of Oz as a fatherly figure before, now it just seemed surreal. As she sat in the front seat of the van hugging her knees and listening to the soft thuds of the rain on the windshield. Her reaction had surprised her to be frank; it didn't really sink in at all. It just stayed on the surface.

She looked over at Oz who had been silent for a while. Still suck in his thoughts. His face was as unreadable as a foreign language, she remembered once being able to detect the smallest signs of hurt or humor in the depths of his eyes. Now all she saw was blank again. She picked up the bear she had found on her bedside table in the hospital and hugged it to her chest.

"Why does it always have to be this hard?" she asked the darkness. Oz turned his head and stared at her, his eyes searching hers. "I never got to stand at the alter and confess my undying love to her. I never got to see her round pregnant stomach and feel our baby kick. People like us just can't have normal predictable lives. Sure that's what we want and sure that's what we strive to accomplish everyday, but sooner or later we have to just give up hope and accept the fact that it's just not in the cards. Everyone knows it, buries it in the back of their mind but, we never want to bring the horrible thought to the surface." Oz stopped for a second and took in breath.

Willow stared out into the open road. On each side of them there was trees, she shivered self-consciously; she felt so different like her body wasn't even hers anymore, like she was about to jump out of her skin. She felt like the only person in the world at that second and she shuddered. She stared at the bruise that had now formed on the top of her pale hand, from where the drip had been. She wondered idly if things could ever be the same as when she and Xander had gone to high school and tried to count the syllables in the word 'Echinacea' while his drunk parents argued over the tax's upstairs. She doubted it. She sighed and waited another seconds before Oz spoke again.

"There's always the defining moment the one where you just suddenly give up to the inevitable, where you just realize that your doomed, that there's no hope in hell that you can ever live in peace, that no matter where you go or what you do shit like Blade always ends up happening. Remembering something good that's happened in you life only brings back painful memories and reminders of when things were almost normal." Oz finished with a slight sigh.

Willow frowned. Wondering what had finally broke his spirit. Which final notch in his plank that had confined him to his current dark cocoon. Was it her? Blade? Sasha? Or being discharged from his 'pack?' or was it a little bit of everything slowly eating up his damaged soul? Willow bit her lip_. God, I have so much to learn_. She sighed and took a deep breath into the stuffed bear's fur. Xander she thought suddenly a mental image of him appeared in her head. It was so sudden she had to say it to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "Xander!" she exclaimed into the quiet of the cab.

Oz turned and looked at her a smile had appeared on his face. "Already… not bad Will. But that was an easy one." He said whilst sharply turning onto a dirt road. Willow smiled. "If you don't mind me asking…. Where exactly are we going?"

Just then they drove up to a small log cabin. From what Willow could tell, they were in the middle of nowhere. "It's not a five star hotel, but there's electricity and running water." Oz said getting out and tossing the keys over the van and into Willow's out stretched hand. "Where are you going?" Willow asked. "Breaker box." Oz said jogging to the back of the cabin. Willow smiled. And got her stuff out of the van, then she began walking towards the house

* * *

Jay was having a great time. The Dingo's had some great songs and an even better sound. It felt good playing something so different from what he was used to. He stepped off the stage for another drink and a break, the crowd cheered. Jay grinned and took an over exaggerated bow. He then sauntered back to the table.

"Hey all!" he exclaimed as he turned his chair around and straddled it. "That was insane!" Xander exclaimed. Most of the tabled nodded in agreement except Spike. Even Giles gave a halfhearted shrug. "It was fun too. I gotta do _that_ more often." Jay said taking a sip of his drink and catching Buffy's eye. He gave her a wink and looked around the table again.

"So how old are you exactly?" Jay asked as he sat down on his stool; finally his gaze finally landing on Spike. "120." Spike growled taking another shot of whiskey. (The bar had been quite busy that night) "Ah, that's young for one of us. Man, I know this monk. 300 years old. The guy should be dust. No, he should be dust's dust. And there he is wasting every moment of it meditating. Now, that's all great, but us immortals gotta have some fun. Christ! If I spent all my time on meditating my ass would get sore, not to mention the boringness would be up tenfold. What about you what do you do in your time… not still eating people are you? Dirty habit, I'd take a nice rack of ribs, pizza and a green salad any day." Jay said shrugging.

Spike glared and Buffy covered up a whoop of laughter with a not so convincing sneeze. Just the thought of Spike eating a salad was enough to have her rolling around on the floor. That was almost as bad as catching him with some nicotine patches and gum, mumbling under his breath, bite. Bite. Don't look at the tasty human. STOP.

Luckily Dawn changed the subject. "So how old are you?" she asked Jay. Jay grinned. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he raised an eyebrow. "Naw, just joshing' ya, I'm 2 years younger than Oz, that would rack me up as a nice healthy 21." Jay grinned. "And you've always been… like you are?" Xander asked frowning. "Ah don't get rational, I was six when I got kidnapped and bitten. Part of this whole evil scheme, didn't work, although I gave us a whole new generation of wolves. The kind that actually get off their asses and have some fun at points." Jay grinned.

"By the way, anyone up for a dance… digg'in the song here, don't leave me hanging." Jay glanced at Buffy who hesitated. Jay wiggled his bottom lip, eyes growing huge. _The puppy dogface, a classic_. Buffy thought. It was good to see that again, she had started to think it had been lost forever. She bit her lip and finally nodded. He'd won; the cuteness had been getting to her all night. She made to get up and felt a hand around her wrist. She looked down at Spike. He scowled making it very clear he didn't like this idea. _All the more reason why she should go_. She tugged her wrist free, gave Spike a smirk and rushed to the dance floor. Xander and Dawn got up too.

Which, of course, left Giles and Spike all alone, together.

* * *

Willow had been waiting in the cabin for the most part of 15 minutes. She sighed and summoned up a ball of light. It was small but cozy; soon she found some candles and had lit a fire in the fireplace. She had just backed up to admire her handy work when Oz came through the door soaking wet. "Power's out" he said finally. He looked around and a smile crossed his face. Willow grinned. "Found the candles," she said at last. Oz chuckled. "I could tell." He came over and sat on the couch where Willow joined him.

She took in their surroundings quietly, making sure not to miss a single detail. A dust-covered guitar donned the corner. The curtains were tattered. There were two other rooms a bedroom and a small, very small, kitchen. Other than that there were cobwebs in the corner and the rest was quite bare. Willow frowned. "Where are we again?" she asked

Oz cocked his head slightly. "I lived here for a year and a half till I drove down to see you." He explained. Willow frowned at the guitar. How did the world change so much in 4 years? It looked like he hadn't touched it in ages…

Willow sighed heavily, and for a while all they could hear was the soft thudding of rain on the roof. "Oz?" she asked finally, her voice sounding hollow in the silence. "I maybe wasn't as honest about what happened in Sunnydale after Tara died. Well, was murdered…" Willow's voice trailed off. This had been bothering her all night. Oz turned toward her, concern filled his eyes.

"I-I can't explain properly… I have to… show you." Willow finished knowing in her heart that Oz had to know for them ever to re-gain the friendship they had before.

* * *

Giles was laughing, and not just the sarcastic chuckle he normally used to display his emotions, this was seeping into the realm of hysterics. Spike was trying to ignore him as he glowered at Jay and Buffy cutting the rug on the dance floor. The look on his face was priceless.

Buffy on the other hand was having the time of her life; Jay was an awesome dancer, much better than Angel and the wide shoulders that somehow always ended up whacking her. Or Spike, who she had never seen dance in his entire death/life thingy. Jay looked from her to the stage, his eyes shining with good humor as he stopped dancing with the song, took a sweeping bow that ended in him kissing Buffy's hand, and ran off.

Jay hopped onto the stage and took up the microphone, "hi there, I would like to sing a song. So listen…"

_You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best  
I've been gone for a month, I've been drunk since I left  
These so-called vacations will soon be my death  
I'm so sick from the drink I need home for a rest. _

We arrived in December and London was cold  
We stayed in the bars along Charing Cross Road  
We never saw nothin' but brass taps and oak  
Kept a shine on the bar with the sleeves of our coats

CHORUS:  
You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best  
I've been gone for a week  
I've been drunk since I left  
And these so-called vacations  
Will soon be my death  
I'm so sick from the drink  
I need home for a rest  
Take me home...

Euston Station the train journey North  
In the buffet car we lurched back and forth  
Past old crooked dykes through Yorkshire's green fields  
We were flung into dance as the train jigged and reeled

- CHORUS -

By the light of the moon, she'd drift through the streets  
A rare old perfume, so seductive and sweet  
She'd tease us and flirt, as the pubs all closed down  
Then walk us on home and deny us a round

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best  
I've been gone for a month  
I've been drunk since I left  
And these so-called vacations  
Will soon be my death  
I'm so sick from the drink  
I need home for a rest  
Take me home...

The gas heater's empty, it's damp as a tomb  
The spirits we drank now ghosts in the room  
I'm knackered again, come on sleep take me soon  
And don't lift up my head 'till the the twelve bells at noon

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best  
I've been gone for a month  
I've been drunk since I left  
And these so-called vacations  
Will soon be my death  
I'm so sick from the drink  
I need home for a rest  
Take me home...

Jay stepped off the stage and took another long sweeping bow. The small crowd cheered and Jay walked back to his table downed his rum and coke and walked outside to get some fresh air. His nose tingled with the scents of random perfumes and cologne; he shook his head trying to get his sense of smell back. A nose like his could only take so much. Although Buffy really did seem to dig it, and that was the important thing. Jay smiled and leaned back on the brick wall. Just like old times, well minus the small town and the lack of Oz, and Sash. Jay sighed.

Which in turn was about the time where Spike burst out of the club with a look of contempt playing across his perfectly chiseled features. He glared at Jay for at least a second then said, "Never touch her again." Jay cocked an eyebrow, "from what I saw she was the one wanting the touching. I guess your cold hands would just get kind of boring after a while." Jay said crossing his arms. Spike glared. His fists balled and he gave Jay a warning look. "What? Can't take the competition?" Jay said cocking his eyebrows. "What competition? All I see here is a bloody werewolf. What could you possibly have that I don't?" Spike asked

"Um, is that a trick question or do you really want me to answer that? Cause that would take a really long time… I mean, if you really want, I could write them down or something, but, that would probably take a really long time." Jay said staring. Spike stood there for a second not really knowing what to say. When he was silent Jay sighed. "Fine, lets see, what could I have that you don't… hmm, a pulse, soft manly features, a beautiful singing voice, I can walk in the sun, make babies, and," Jay whipped something out of his pocket "a pair of sunglasses." He finished sliding on his sunglasses.

Spike stared, "touché, but, I could beat you in a fight." Spike said crossing his arms in triumph. "Wanna bet?" Jay asked grinning now. "Winner walks her home," he added. "Bring it on hairy." Spike said vamping out. "Oh, so now I'm hairy?" Jay asked, he then frowned, "well, if that's how you want it." Jay gave Spike a grin and started to grow hair. Spike backed away slowly not really sure what was going to happen next. Finally the hair stopped growing and Jay looked like something from out of the movies. "Bloody hell…" Spike said frowning. "Cool huh? Learned this trick down in Canada, the locals thought I was big foot." Jay said grinning. "Now, where were we?" he asked. Spike growled, "right, lets go." At that both super humans faked a punch and roundhouse kicked at each other, both trying to knock the other backwards. Their feet collided in the middle and both struggled to maintain balance.

* * *

Oz and Willow were settled cross-legged on the floor candles surrounded them. Oz frowned, "so how's this going down?" he asked. Willow bit her lip, knowing that no matter how she explained what she was about to do that it would sound slightly creepy. The she realized she was talking to Oz and stopped. "Your mind is going for a short trip into my memories and you experience what I did at that point." Willow tried to explain. Oz frowned, "isn't that a little bit complicated?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

Willow flushed slightly, "yeah, but I've done it before. As long as I keep an open mind you can just flow right in there." Willow said trying to explain. Oz frowned "I think I get it. I've done this before too, just kinda different." Oz said frowning. Willow gave him a questioning glance but said nothing. "Okay, so close your eyes and concentrate and I'll do the rest, unless you think you can help." Willow said placing the final herbs in the center of their 2-person circle.

Willow sighed and closed her eyes and concentrated, she focused on the energy from the earth flowing into her body, starting from the tips of her fingers and through out her body. The feeling was so familiar it was comforting. Finally she concentrated on the task at hand. She opened her mind and began pulling Oz's essence into it. The she focused on those memories of what had happened those 4 years ago and her mind went blank. That's where things went wrong…

* * *

Giles barged into the middle of the two super-humans just in time. Spike got mad and trudged home and Giles explained that everyone had decided that Jay was to sleep at Giles's house that night and that they were going to walk there.

"So you're Giles…" Jay said as they started walking. "I pictured you more James Bond-ish, with some harsh tat.'s" Jay said putting his hands in his pockets. Giles frowned and looked at Jay. "Well, you know, Oz was always slightly jealous of your vinyl collection and from what I've heard, I am too." Jay said laughing. Giles raised his eyebrows vaguely remembering Oz borrowing his vinyl with the ultimatum of him moving in.

"All of you may have gotten the wrong impression tonight. About Oz, and well, everything. I just thought maybe I should explain better." Jay said running a long fingered hand through his dark brown curls. "Really? So what's the right impression?" Giles asked frowning. Jay grinned "Oz was like my big brother, well in essence, I'm like a foot taller than him, but you get the point. Sasha and him were like family and when they were both kidnapped, I would have done anything to get them back. Which I did, for Oz at least; by the time we had broken him out the humans were all over us. Jake said we should have stayed but I told him no. I couldn't break the code of the C.W. I've followed it and up-held it since I was like six." Jay paused looking over at Giles who looked confused, "what exactly is the code of the C.W.?" he asked.

"The code of the Civilized Wolf." Jay said rolling his eyes. Giles sighed. He had had no idea that something like that had ever existed. Jay grinned. "Not many, even the ones in the loop know of us. Don't feel bad. Your business is in Vampires demons and other soulless creatures, you shouldn't have to worry about us too." Jay said pulling his hand through his hair again. " So what do these C.W.'s do exactly?" Giles asked frowning. "Well most of them are monks, the rest of us are what they call agents. The monks train the noobs if they see fit to do so and the agents find out what they can about hunters, the newly turned and report back to the monks who instruct us and stuff." Jay said frowning. "Noobs?" Giles questioned. "The newly turned." Jay explained frowning.

"Anyways, now I wonder if I did the right thing. About leaving Sash there. I shouldn't of. I know it would have been wrong to kill those humans but now I think it was also wrong I left my one of my best friends behind. I know the only reason holding me back from getting her out was my orders. The eld's said she wasn't a priority. Can you believe that? A priority! She did more for them then most of them did for themselves and they were just willing to lose her because she didn't want to be a full agent. She liked her freedom and they killed her for that." Jay said shaking his head.

"Sounds like you're having second thoughts. Have you told Oz any of this?" Giles asked frowning. Jay shook his head. "I haven't told anyone. Especially Oz, I killed his fiancé and maybe his unborn kid. I can't face that. Even if I could I couldn't reach him, he disappeared no one could. Back there was the first time I have talked with him in years and I fucked that up pretty bad." Jay said shaking his head. Giles gaped for a second at the thought of Oz being a dad, but said nothing. "The truth is, I want out, I can't do the whole monk thing anymore, the rules, sure they seem to make sense but, if people die just because they aren't on the team or they don't match up to so-called specifications then something's not right. The truth is man, if Oz would have asked me, that night he saved Sasha, I would have gone with him, hell, if I knew he was even going to try to attempt to pull a stunt like that I would have gone with him. The C.W. is good, but they aren't willing to bend the rules, and if they can't do that, then in the end, they aren't going to be any help to anyone." Jay said finally.

Giles was taken aback; this may not be the kid he initially thought Jay was. He was smart and willing to give up the people he loved and had grown up with in order to do the right thing. He wondered casually if Jay and Oz would somehow make it out of this mess friendship in tacked. The way it seemed now everything was up in the air. Only fate would lead them down the correct path. Giles shook his head slightly, still in deep thought as he entered his house with Jay.

To them her life was a joke, they didn't care if she had a baby or a major art and singing career ahead of her. They said she died for the cause, there was no cause because she never talked, she didn't tell those creeps where we were and what we were doing, not a single fucking word and her reward in their eyes was to die with the ones torturing her. The cause was to keep our organization a secret, and that's what she did. The fact that she died saving us and wasn't part of the team was funny to them, they never thought in a million years a mutt would do that and they didn't find it noble they found it funny until they lost Oz in the process.

* * *

Willow found herself standing in the middle of a messed up living room. The first word that came to mind when she saw this place was messy but cozy. There were black and white posters on the walls and a houseplant that seemed to be more than a little water deprived. Bleached seashells lined the mahogany shelves as well as other trinkets including a magic 8 ball. The walls were painted a deep purple with accents of gold. Old band tee shirts and boxers were strewn across the floor as well as bras. Then she noticed the curtains were torn. There was blood on the carpet, Willow turned slightly and jumped as she saw blondish-red hair over the top on the oversized cushy sofa.

Willow suddenly realized something was wrong. This wasn't her memory. She took a few more steps towards the couch and found Oz. He was slumped down, apparently frozen in time for now. He had in his hands a small velvet covered box, tears shone on his pale face. Willow frowned and waved her hand in front of his face. He blinked but nothing else.

"_Dead as dead can be," my doctor tells me  
But I just can't believe him, ever the optimistic one  
I'm sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy  
Wake up and face me, don't play dead cause maybe  
Someday I will walk away and say, "You disappoint me,"  
Maybe you're better off this way_

Then there was a booming knock at the door. Oz got up and walked towards it, leaving the box placed carefully on the couch. He reached out for the handle but it opened before he could get to it. A curly haired, brown-eyed guy, who Willow recognized as a slightly younger version of Jay; stood in the doorway panting slightly. He stared at Oz for a second attempting to read his face. The he started. " FUCK OZ! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WHERE DOING?" he cried letting himself in and closing the door with a slam.

_Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic  
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been  
It's your right and your ability  
to become…my perfect enemy…  
_

"All those people. HUMANS OZ! It's against the code! You know that!" Jay said slamming his hand on the nearest wall so hard pictures fell off. Oz watched with a slight scowl. "You know as well as me, the pack wasn't coming back for her. She wasn't a full member. She didn't want to be, what's another free range between friends! Just because she didn't want to take orders! She helped the pack more than most of those elders ever did! They left her Jay; you know that! Don't try to tell me they were devising a plan or any of that Bullshit, they didn't care! No they were sitting on their orange cushions and drinking tea while she was getting TORCHURED!" Oz cried. "She was right in the beginning; what kind of group is this that won't put their necks on the line for GOOD and innocent people?" Oz asked shaking his head.

_Wake up and face me,  
don't play dead  
Cause maybe  
Someday I'll walk away and say, "You disappoint me,"  
Maybe you're better off this way_

Jay opened his mouth to retort but Oz cut him off. "She was raped Jay, they starved her to death, kept her in a cell and… her fingernails…" He shook with anger his breathing had turned wheezy and harder. Jay opened his mouth again, but Oz kept talking. "You don't know what it was like there… they had these needles… I couldn't let her die there" Oz half whispered. Jay's face muscles relaxed and he slumped down slightly. "Where is she?" he asked more calmly the Willow has thought possible from what she had just witnessed. Oz motioned to the bedroom. His back towards the doorway and went back to the couch.

_Maybe you're better off this way  
Maybe you're better off this way  
Maybe you're better off this way  
You're better off this; you're better off this;  
Maybe you're better off!  
_

Willow turned towards the doorway where Jay was headed and through the crack in the door saw a nail-less female foot handing over the side of a bed. She shuddered; her stomach did a summersault and turned towards Oz again. Not being able to bear what was behind door number one. She only had to wait a few seconds before Jay came out of the room again, paper white. "How long has she been…" his shaky voice wavered and faded into the silence of the room. "About fifteen minutes." Oz croaked from the corner. Jay was shaking his head in disbelief. "I was sent here to kill you, you now that right?" he asked. Oz nodded but stayed silent. "You killed them all…" Jay said again shaking his head in disbelief. "I know…" Oz wheezed. It was silent again, except for the labored sounds of Oz's breathing. Then Jay spoke again. "What are you gonna do now?" he asked looking up from the tears streaming freely down his cheeks and into Oz's eyes. "Leave, go somewhere else." Oz said getting up. Jay nodded. He knew Oz would have to leave soon. Oz knew too. He slowly got up and started shoving clothes into a very familiar duffel bag silently.

_Wake up and face me,  
don't play dead  
Cause maybe  
Someday I'll walk away and say, "You fucking disappoint me!"  
Maybe you're better off this way  
_

"You shouldn't have to… It's not fair" Jay said shaking his head and collapsing onto the couch. His gaze hit the door to the bedroom and her shuddered. "Nothing in life ever is." Oz said squaring his jaw before crossing the room and grabbing the velvet-covered box from Jay's hand, not bothering to look him in the face. Jay sighed conflicting feelings towards his best friend and the ones that had supported him ever since he was six filled his head in a flood of frustration. He looked back to where Sasha lay cold on the bed. "You scared me man." Jay said finally. Oz followed his gaze and sighed. "I scared myself Jay, I never thought in a million years I could ever… I couldn't let them die there. Never." He said shaking his head.

_Go ahead and play dead  
I know that you can hear this  
Go ahead and play dead  
Why can't you turn and face me?  
Why can't you turn and face me?  
Why can't you turn and face me?  
Why can't you turn and face me?  
You fucking disappoint me!_

Jay looked into the eyes of his best friend there was still the remnants of his torture on his face, bruises and cuts. His breath came out in weak coughs, he would never fully heal from the tortures he had been put through, never run or love. He had been thrown a physical and mental curveball and it was all because of one person. "Them?" he questioned his friend suddenly. Oz looked away and stared out the window towards the lightening sky over the ocean. A single tear fell down his face and he whispered. "Spread her ashes over the beach and the water, on a day with a strong eastern wind. Take her home…" and with that he swung open the door and left the apartment for the last time. Leaving Jay standing in the middle of the room open-mouthed and devastated.

_Passive aggressive bullshit_

Willow was left standing alone with Jay. She walked over to a picture and picked it up. An image of the woman on the bed with birthday cake icing on her nose and Oz in a birthday hat, noisemaker secured in his mouth filled the frame. Willow had gotten an answer to her question; that was the day where he lost faith that anything in his life could ever be good. Frankly, she didn't blame him. The memory soon faded and she felt herself sitting on the cold wood floor of the cabin again. She felt Oz's spirit flow into her and felt her world turn black.

* * *

"I thought he was trying to make me choose." Jay explained whilst rummaging in Giles's fridge and finally taking out a bag of mini carrot sticks and some cheese-whiz. Giles looked up from the couch, frowned at Jay's lengthy explanation, and went back to organizing his laundry. "He really wasn't though, he just wanted me to realize what was going on. It took a while but I did. Anyways, this seriously isn't the way you spend your Friday night is it?" Jay said flopping onto the couch and turning on the dusty T.V.

Giles looked up again. "What's wrong with doing this?" he asked. "Well, the fact that it's Friday night and you're sorting through your lights and darks." Jay said cocking an eyebrow in Giles's direction. Giles frowned.

" Come on now. How long has it been since you played? Be honest." Jay said raising both eyebrows now. Giles gave him a blank stare. "Guitar? Hello?" Giles frowned. "The fingers give it all away." Jay elaborated with a grin. He raised his hand and showed of his calluses. "About 2 months." Giles finally answered. Jay grinned. "Ha! I knew it. Now, again, I ask what's a guy like you, cool, and not old enough to be boring and laying around in bed talking about the old days, doing here. In a dark room folding socks. When you could be out with a werewolf fighting evil, eating carrots and listening to some kick ass music? You're reminding me of the O.T.'s. A hard feat to achieve" Jay said shaking his head and taking a bite of his whiz-covered carrot.

Giles stared, "O.T.'s?" he asked. "The Orange Togas, a.k.a. the monks a.k.a. the boringist people on the face of this earth, no joke." Jay explained. Giles frowned. "Well then, where are we going?" he asked throwing his socks aside and getting up. Jay grinned and jumped off the couch, carrots still in hand "let's blow this sock fest!" he exclaimed heading for the door.

**_Heh, man I love those cliffhangers! Yes, yes I do. So review complain that Willow still hasn't changed into a wolf like I promised, hey, this is only half a chapter my friends… don't hurt me… but review… I might write faster. REVIEW! Please… I'll give you stuff… well that would be kinda difficult but I can try… _**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello readers! I'm happy to say that this post and the next chapter will be up really soon because well, I have time now! Yay! **

**Thanks to ALL MY REVIEWERS! U all rock!**

**Maranjade: thank u for the lovely review! You made me sooo happy! Thanks for letting me know I had author review only on, now I feel bad no one could review! Sorry people. I fixed it though so all is good ((which means, REVIEW)). **

**Answers to questions: Yes! Willow saw Oz's memories and Oz saw Willow's I should have been more specific hopefully this chapter helps explain how that worked. As for your other question, you will have to keep reading to find out… hee hee **

**Thanks to my new beta: evergreen-baby! U are awesome, I'm soo happy! Thanks for putting up with me!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! I wish I did it's all owned by people with the shows and papers! Please don't sue me! ((I do own Sasha Jay and Blade, who ever else who shows up that's not on the shows… cause that made a whole lotta sense….))**

**CHAPTER 6: WOLF 1O1**

"Angelina Jolie or Kirsten Dunce?" Jay asked as him and Giles walked through the graveyard. Giles looked thoughtful, "Angelina." He said after a second. Jay grinned. "You're kidding! I thought you would have gone for Kirsten. I thought I had you pegged. Seeing as you work with a tough chick, I thought you would go for the wholesome American sweetheart." Jay said stooping down to check the name on the closest gravestone. Giles laughed, "You should meet the one I got back home."

Jay got up and stared. " She can't be hotter than Angelina, tomb raider, buddy, tomb raider, that scene with the robot and the… short-shorts…" he whispered. Giles grinned, "I'll give you that one." He said shaking his head. Jay stared for a second. "You know, under all those layers of tweed, you really are a pretty cool guy." He commented. Then he stopped. "Damn…" he whispered. Giles looked around wondering what was wrong.

"Another myth shot to hell." Jay laughed. He looked up at Giles who was still frozen and looking around. "Did you hear something?" Jay asked. Giles frowned. "What myth?" he asked. "That all stiff Englishmen stay stiff." Jay said grinning and thumping Giles on the back.

Giles smiled, "Well, if that's all then." he said turning up the volume on the speakers hooked up to Jay's I-pod. It was resting precariously on the top of another stone.

Then Jay stopped again. He motioned for Giles to turn the speakers back down again. Giles nodded and mouthed. "What is it?" "Vampires, bout' six, gotta a stake?" Jay mouthed back, Giles nodded and took out his piece of wood from his pocket.

Jay pointed to the crypt in the far corner of the yard and raised an eyebrow to make sure Giles would be okay before he crept towards it.

Giles followed cautiously but his footsteps seemed so much louder than Jay's. His sounded like car doors slamming compared to Jay's who he couldn't hear at all even when walking on dry leaves.

This was slightly bothersome to Jay who was used to being with trained wolves. But Giles was pretty quiet for a human, the vamps were too busy trying to compare stupid fang lengths or something stupid like that to realize they were about to become dust.

Finally he reached the side of the large crypt and silently took the gun out of his pocket, he would have much rather changed into the wolf for this part, he had always preferred not to use his crappy hand to hand combat. Then again he thought with a grin, he had the upper hand, and a gun that could shoot a stake faster than a flying bullet, or at worst as fast as one.

He only hoped Giles would stay out of the way, he also wasn't a great shot. He glanced back at Giles for a second and nodded motioning for Giles to cover the other side of the crypt. When he was in place Jay moved in, "This a private party?" He asked walking into the middle of the group.

Some of the vamps gasped, ahh, he loved it when they did that. One however only snorted. "Oh, wow a werewolf, I'm shaking in my boots." A taller, horribly dressed vampire sneered in Jay's direction.

For your own information, we've already talked to one of your kind tonight and we're telling you what we told his ugly good for nothing face, there's no way in hell that we are joining with you flea bags just to take out some more of your kind. We have no desire to kill wolves, all we want are the humans. Tell your boss we aren't interested, and next time he sends his damn goons over here we will have rip their damn heads off. You got that?" Another vamp growled.

Jay was intrigued, " Someone was here before us?" He asked the group. All of them looked hesitant to answer so Jay added "Cause he shouldn't have been here and I would have to tear him apart." in a deep growl.

The vampires grinned. "He said his name was Blade. He wanted us to help him hunt down another of his kind in return for cash." The first vampire said. A wide grin was plastered on his face. Jay was taken aback but his surprise didn't reach his face. He mentally thanked Oz for that skill.

"Do you happen to know where he's staying?" Jay asked once more. He noticed Giles peeking his head out from behind the crypt, his eyebrows raised. Jay shook his head and motioned discretely for him to keep hiding.

Mean while the vampire frowned, contemplating whether he should tell this new comer all that he knew. Jay actually watched his process of contemplation on his ugly warped face. _Stupid vampires..._

Finally he said, "Naw, I'll let you figure it out by yourself." The vampire said, his eyes glowing yellow in the darkness. Jay shrugged, "well than you're no more use to me." He said raising the gun from out of his pocket and shooting the vampire in the heart. He then turned to the rest of the group.

"Anyone else here know where the other wolf is hiding." Jay asked cocking his eyebrows. They all glowered at him their faces morphing into their demon-like counterparts. Jay gave an over exaggerated sigh. "Well, I guess we're going to have to kill you all then…"he mocked a yawn and signaled to Giles to come out of hiding.

This most importantly caught the vamps off guard and allowed Jay to take out at least three before they actually got into the fighting part.

Giles was surprisingly quick for a guy wearing tweed, and got a couple dusted his self. So Jay decided not to worry so much about the watcher and focused on the fight at hand. He tried to shoot a few more but found his bad aim more of a hindrance than a help and switched to hand and hand. Wondering why he hadn't taken his Katana out of his car and brought it with him.

Then he remembered why, as he punched the face of the nearest vampire in. The carrots. _Stupid stomach, always getting in the way…_ he roundhouse kicked the tight group of vamps, knocking them to the ground and allowing Giles to stake the last of them.

He waited in silence as Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them with a cloth before dusting off his hands and getting to his feet.

"Well that was interesting, I thought for sure Blade would have killed himself after Oz turned him," Jay said picking up his I-pod. "Giles frowned "Well, this isn't sounding to good for both the werewolf community or anyone else. But then again, this Blade could be a poser trying to scare up a few vampires into joining a gang." Giles said as they headed back to the car. "That's a good point but none of the wolf community even the ones who aren't in control would dare go by the name Blade, this guy literally killed thousands of us. He was a direct threat to everyone. Secondly, he's looking for a certain wolf. If anyone was looking to find someone in particular it would be Blade. It makes sense, Oz was just in town and he's probably searching him out because Oz was the one who turned him. I'm not sure who the hell would help Blade survive, but he did and now he's out for blood again." Jay said biting his lip and pulling over his seat belt.

"This guy is probably a direct threat to everyone." Jay added with a sigh. He ran his hand through his hair again. "Erm… shouldn't you call the O.T.'s then?" Giles asked. Jay shook his head. "They were probably the ones who set him loose, they got their hands on him after Oz had left." Jay said gritting his teeth. He was really getting tired of them.

Jay took out his phone from his pocket and dialed the most used number, Giles glanced wearily as Jay brought the phone up to his ear and gave him a questioning glance.

* * *

Willow came back to earth all at once, she slowly eased open her eyes. She felt weak and slightly embarrassed. She hadn't wanted Oz to know what she had done. What would he think of her now? She looked up and he caught her gaze.

His green eyes pierced hers and he smiled softly. "That explains a lot." he said softly. Willow felt her cheeks grow slightly hot. Oz reached over and stroked her cheek. "You did what only many people could dream about doing when they loose someone they love; I can understand that." he said quietly.

Willow sighed and got up. "I just wish I didn't have that ability." She said quietly. Oz got up too and walked across the cold room to the fireplace, where he carefully prodded and fed the hot coals until the fire came back to life.

"You can look at it that way, or you can see it as something you can improve on make better, and make it work to your advantage. Most people aren't born with the gifts people like us have or have received in my case. So we might as well do the best we can with them." He said looking across the room and directly into Willow's eyes.

" Is that really worth a pile of bodies?" Willow asked turning away to stare at the gloomy rain hitting the windowpane. Oz looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I haven't figured that one out yet." He finally admitted. Willow smiled, "I guess we'll have to figure that one out later." She said through a resounding yawn. Oz cocked his eyebrows and asked "tired?"

"Yeah, but then comes tomorrow" Willow said with a sigh. Oz shook his head, "It'll be alright, try not to dwell." He said walking towards the small closet by the bedroom and taking out a few extra blankets before walking back to the couch.

"I'll take the Hide-a-bed." Oz said motioning towards the couch. Willow smiled; somehow she just wished that she wouldn't have be alone. She felt so cold and alone. Then she thought of Tara. Tara wouldn't have wanted her to feel alone.

Willow took the blankets she was being handed and gave Oz a weak smile. "Thanks, for everything. You didn't have to take me with you tonight. You could have, you know, drove right back here and left me with Jay and the others."

Oz smiled. "And leave you with that maniac? Jay's a goof, but he has his good moments. He just needs to figure some stuff out for himself."

Willow shook her head. Did he know what she had saw? Was he okay with it? She searched his face for answers in his eyes, but he showed none. She yawned again, she was exhausted, her brain was buzzing with all she had learned that night, but she was still recovering from the whole malnutrition thing.

Oz noticed again and raised his eyebrows. "Bed now?" He asked. Willow nodded. "I'll see you in the morning. The bathroom is over here and hopefully we get power back tomorrow, if the rain lets off." Oz said motioning towards the bathroom.

Willow nodded and Oz took another look around and their eyes met for a second before he turned around and allowed her to retire to the bedroom still clutching the wooly blankets.

She lay down in the cold bed and waited to fall asleep, she thought of lots of things, about Oz and Jay. Even Sasha entered her mind for a brief moment. She wished she had a chance to meet her. She still felt hollow inside. Her insides shivered when ever she thought of the next day and what she was going to become. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity she drifted off into a deep sleep in that dark and lonesome room.

* * *

Jay felt grim, Blade was back, that was never a good sign. The man was like a weed, he refused to die but it never hurt to try again.

But it was okay because, he had a plan. Sure, he was never the one with the plans but he had a brain, he had a P.H.D. for Gods sake. Well, just about; he dropped out in the last month. The studying drove him insane and he was gonna make it big with his band anyway.

He had decided that he was going to call a meeting in the morning. Sure, the Sunnydale squad didn't look like seasoned fighters but they would have to do. He needed someone to keep Blade confused and at bay so he could help Oz with Willow.

Why? Number one, Oz has been suffering the consequences of Blade for 3 years now. Number two, another C.W. would be a great help right now, and he was sure that Willow would be a valuable asset. Three, Oz had no clue what he was doing and NEEDED his help. What were friends for right?

Jay sighed and stared at the ceiling of Giles's house. He was lying on the bumpy sofa listening to the annoying sound of the clock ticking on the wall behind him. Now the only problem was telling everyone what was happening.

_In the morning… _he thought._ Right now I need my beauty sleep. _

* * *

Willow woke up with a ray of golden sunlight in her face. She smiled self-consciously as she eased open her eyes. The anxiety about the new day melting off her, somehow after last night everything felt easier between Oz and herself.

The smell of cooking bacon wafted from the small kitchen and Willow suddenly remembered what day it was. She groaned and rolled over, but her hungry stomach protested, the smell was too tempting.

She got up off the bed and padded into the kitchen. Oz was sitting on the counter by the sink with a laptop on his lap. He looked up from the computer and smiled at her. "morning." He said quietly. Willow yawned and smiled.

"breakfast?" Oz asked cocking his head quizzically. Willow grinned and nodded. It was odd, since going into his head she could pick up his cues again.

"Guessing the power's back on then?" Willow asked smiling. Oz looked over his shoulder with flipper still in hand and nodded. Then he turned around and expertly poured a glass of orange juice with one hand.

"So, whatcha working on?" Willow asked taking the glass of orange juice she was being handed and walking over to the computer. "work." Oz said typing with one hand and pulling the lever down on the toaster with the other. "Like actual work or?" Willow asked looking skeptical. "Work." Oz said again.

Willow turned to the screen and saw he was decrypting codes on a government website then typing in his own. Willow nodded "complicated. Isn't that something the bad guy would do?" she asked trying to figure out what he was putting back onto the site, the codes were extremely complex. "it's okay, I gotta a job re-booting fire walls for all the governments secret-ness. The pay is quite admirable." Oz said deleting the last few lines of gibberish and re-typing them.

Willow frowned. "I thought you hated doing that kinda stuff." "As I said before, the salary is admirable." Oz said placing the computer down. Willow suddenly thought of something… "You, you aren't DOB are you?" she asked grinning. Oz nodded "flaming fox I presume." He asked plating up the toast. Willow laughed. "You beat me, but I got you back!" she said remembering the melted marshmallow she had sent though the computer and lodged into his hard drive via magic.

"ah but I got a new computer." Oz said raising his eyebrows and coming to the table with food.

"so what's the game plan?" Willow asked through a mouthful of eggs. "well, there's a few options, it would be easier if you won't remember the first change, but the whole adjustment will happen faster if you do. But it's pretty much up to you. Jay was always better at explaining it then me." Oz said frowning slightly. " Although, if you do choose to remember, you gotta keep in mind that you're gonna feel it." He added. Willow frowned. "What do you mean, feel it?" she asked.

"well in the natural change the wolf takes over the mind before it takes over the body, so it copes with the pain of the change all by it's self. But, the trick to control is to offer to receive your share of the pain; and it will give you a window of input into the action and thought process." Oz explained, clicking the mouse a few more times and music blared through the small speakers in the keypad.

He then slid off the counter he was sitting on, and sat down in the second chair at the table, across from Willow. "So that uh, spell you did last night, was you know, okay, you weren't going to go all, uh… you're okay with that again?" Oz asked trying to sound like it was no big deal. The truth was he was actually quite curious.

Willow seemed to pick up on this and nodded, "yeah, I had to go away for a while, but I learned to filter out the bad and harness the good." Willow said shaking her head. Oz nodded and a small knowing smile crossed his face. "That's good." He said quietly, he slowly took a sip of coffee and Willow just sat and thought.

She was going to be a werewolf, her body was going to change into some, hairy… oh God she was going to be hairy… beast. Not only that but, Oz had mentioned pain. Would it be bad? Could she handle it?

Willow looked up, Oz was fiddling with the music again and had managed to get it to good old Sunnydale Radio. He looked up at her and gave her a tight smile. she knew he had been thinking the same thing, albeit he was also remembering his first change and wondering how he could improve upon the situation.

Willow sighed and picked up a fork, sure she couldn't stop the moon from rising but she could definitely stop her stomach from rumbling. Besides Oz may not look like a chef, but she couldn't deny the fact that Oz was an excellent cook.

Oz was nervous, contrary to his cool behavior he had never really witnessed a first change before, frankly he felt like a rookie. Jay knew so much more about that kind of stuff, he was really starting to wish that he were here right about now. Well, excluding the fact that he would probably have to call in the orange togas.

He almost snorted he felt so ridiculous, what was he going to do? What if the wolf inside of Willow was too strong? Well that would be a problem, but he would deal with that as it came, right now he had to focus all his attention on making sure Willow felt as normal as possible.

He turned up the radio, Sunnydale Radio had never lead him astray, and he doubted it would now. He glanced at Willow and she was eating, that was good. He gave her a tight smile before leaving the room to check on the state of neatness in the living room. It wasn't great but it would have to do.

Sure clothes were spread out everywhere and he was in desperate need of a duster, but it wasn't un-live-able. Just to be safe though, he opened a few windows all the way and let the breeze clean away the stale smell of sleep, smoke from the fire and musk.

He had to do something, he had a female in the house, sure she wasn't judging him on his housework, but the least he could do is make it smell less smoky in there.

He turned and was now staring at his old guitar leaning in the corner; he hadn't touched it since she had gone away. Maybe it was time to start. He was just contemplating going to pick it up and dust it off when he heard Willow call. She sounded frantic, well at least, semi-frantic.

He jogged towards the kitchen and looked around, Willow was still sitting where he had left her. She looked at him and frowned. "Who does this song?" she asked. Oz sighed and listened intently. He recognized it at once.

Lunar Phases. His band. Then he heard who was singing and froze. God, it was like she was back from the dead. He had spent the better part of three years trying to convince himself she was gone and there she was, singing her heart out like nothing had ever happened.

He let himself slowly down onto a chair and stared into space, he could just _see_ her in the rec. studio the day this was recorded, her green eyes sparkling with playfulness and intensity all in one. Focused directly on his, even though she couldn't see him behind the mirrored glass…

Willow stared, Oz looked like a ghost, all the colour had drained from his face and his eyes glimmered with emotion. He hadn't moved since he had sat down. The woman on the radio hit a high note that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand.

"Oz?" she asked quietly. He didn't respond. He didn't move. Willow hoped he was still breathing. Something about this was REALLY weird.

The shrill shriek of her cell phone sounded over the music and Willow ran from the kitchen to answer. She was in the bedroom in a flash and dug through her purse before finding her phone and flipping it open.

"Hello?" she asked. "Willow, hi, it's Jay. I really need to talk to Oz, is he around?" Came a familier voice from over the staticy phone.

Willow hesitated chewing on her lip for a moment before answering.

"Yes, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to talk to you right now." She answered remembering the last night. She glanced out her window at the sunlight streaming out through the cracks in the trees.

"Willow, listen, I gave you the wrong impression last night and I'm really sorry. I went out with Giles last night and we talked and I realized what a jerk I had been. But this is really urgent I have to talk to Oz."

Willow sighed. "Okay, but he's kind of out of it right now, I'm not sure what's up." Willow explained walking towards the kitchen. "What do you mean?" Jay asked. "You'll see." Willow said handing Oz the phone.

Oz barely noticed the phone being shoved in his hand but raised it to his ear anyways. "Oz?" came Jay's staticy voice from over the phone. "Put it on Sunnydale radio." Oz said shaking his head and allowing Jay's voice to come in contact with his brain. "What? Oz, this is important." Jay said confused. "Just… do it." Oz said quietly.

Oz only slightly heard Jay sigh and put down the phone. It was silent for a second and Oz closed his eyes and just let the memories drift into his head and mingle with the present.

It took Jay a couple times before Oz figured out he was talking. "man, I'm sorry. God, it's like she's standing right here." Oz focused on the words and could almost picture his friend running his hand uncomfortably through his thick curls. Then the song ended.

Oz shook his head as he was pulled back into reality. "I guess this wouldn't be a good time to mention our album got released a year ago, huh?" Jay said over the cell phone. Oz chuckled, despite the situation he found himself in a good mood after listening to that song.

"What did you want to tell me?" Oz asked getting up and turning off the radio. Jay was surprised by this change of heart but grinned. "Brace yourself buddy, it's a big one." He started. Oz waited patiently. Motioning to a confused looking Willow that it was okay to sit back down and finish her food.

Jay took a breath in. he really didn't want to ruin Oz's good mood, no matter how weird that was; so he opted for the good news first. "I quit the monks." He said grinning.

Oz was taken aback "What?" he asked, not sure if he had heard him right. Cause if he had that would mean that he was turning his back on the people that gave him a life. "I quit the monks. I couldn't take their shit anymore, they've gone too far." Jay said.

Oz raised his eyebrows, "And you couldn't have said that before breaking through their window?" Oz asked referencing Jay's dramatic entrance into the Summer's front room. "Well, you know. I wasn't sure yet. Then I saw Buffy and the gang and was like, I really miss that. The O.T.'s just take away from that. Besides, I had to make a dramatic entrance." Jay concluded sarcastically. Oz sighed.

"Oh and I had a chat with Giles. He's pretty cool." Jay added. "So, have they called you yet?" Oz asked thinking about the monks. "Only about a gazillion times. I have like fifty messages on my voice mail. I even got one from the head honcho telling me to come back." Jay said rolling his eyes. "And all I got was a team to come and hunt me down. Figure that?" Oz said smiling slightly.

"Yeah, you know I was expecting at least like a parting gift or something; a fruit basket, something…" Jay said with a laugh. "yeah, a tee-shirt, I survived the monks." Oz said shaking his head. Jay laughed. "So, when do you want me down there and do you need any groceries?" Jay asked grinning. "You don't even know where we are." Oz said knowingly. "You're in the country, or Willow's phone wouldn't work." Jay said grinning. " Brilliant deduction Watson." Oz said shaking his head.

"Are you still in the State?" Jay asked wondering if they were still driving. "Just outside, remember Jake's cabin?" Oz asked. "Dude! You're there, I love that place, I should have known!" Jay exclaimed. "We need toilet paper, and a duster." Oz said glancing at Willow and raising his eyebrows. She nodded and mouthed toothbrush and razor.

Oz nodded and relayed the new information. "Right, I can be up there by four." Jay said not having the heart to tell him about Blade right now. Oz hung up the phone with a sigh of relief. Help, and most importantly, help without monks, was on the way.

Oz tossed the phone back to Willow who gave him a questioning look. "Jay's coming to help out." Oz explained. Willow frowned, she was nervous now, she didn't know Jay, and when she left Sunnydale the night before, she hadn't really wanted to.

Now he was going to be around when she was going to change into this beast? She frowned not knowing what to say. "He's okay Willow. He's done this tons of times before." Oz said meeting Willows eyes. Willow nodded hesitantly.

Willow sighed, "So, who was that band anyways?" She asked trying to change the subject. Oz looked down, "I, I should go chop some firewood." Oz said leaving the room. Willow stared, something was wrong, something to do with that band, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She watched as he closed the door and sighed.

Oz was never like this, all avoidy. Maybe Jay could clear it up with her when he got here, even if she wasn't too sure about him. At least he apologized right?

* * *

Jay was ready to hit the road, okay so he didn't feel too great about leaving the Scooby's to their own devices, especially with Blade running around as a wolf. But Giles and Buffy had both assured him that they could handle it. They had told him to take as much time as he wanted to get Willow to be okay again.

Even with those reassuring promises Jay felt the urgency of his rehabilitation mission, the people here were in danger. Oz was in danger, and the worst part is Oz didn't even know what was happening.

But a new changling was a dangerous thing, and in order to speed up the control part she would have deal with a lot of pain, and with a looming war. Yes he said war, cause if Blade was gathering an army and it would be a difficult fight, one that would most certainly need Willow on the front line.

Yes this was going to be a very painful for Willow, he hoped very much that she had the strength of mind and body to keep control. If she lost control in the middle of a fight there's no saying what chaos could ensue, she could start attacking the good guys for all he knew.

He shook his head, he didn't want to think about it. At least he was on talking terms with Oz again, that would be a tremendous help. If worst came to worst, he was positive that he could get some other C.W.s on HIS side. Then there was of course Jake, who wasn't really a werewolf but would help all the same.

As he got into the car he glanced back at the Summer's house, it was cheery looking in the bright sunlight. He just hoped it would stay that way.

* * *

Jay arrived later that day, it was four thirty and he had pizza, along with handfuls of groceries, most of which hadn't been asked for but was totally welcomed all the same.

"I thought that grocery list sounded kind of short and then I saw the bakery." Jay said looking at the two red heads in front of him. He raised his eyebrows, "you two both look a lot a like you know." He said grinning. Willow smiled. "Well, knowing Oz, the hair colour thing is likely to change soon." She commented.

Jay laughed, "I thought so too." He said opening the bag he had in his arms and shuffling around for a while before pulling out a handful of colourful packets and showing them to Willow. "Thought you'd want to change it up." He commented tossing one to Oz before slapping his hand on his shoulder with grin.

Oz smiled slightly and crossed his arms, "haven't done that in a while." He said glancing at the colour. It was a dark blue. He nodded satisfied and bumped knuckles with his friend.

Willow lead as they entered the house and Oz almost didn't recognize the place. It was clean, well just about; but organized? Yes. Jay whistled from behind him. "Far cry from what I remember it looked." He commented.

He glanced over at Oz, "Man, this place was trashed, remember?" He exclaimed. The sides of Oz's mouth twitched as he remembered when all four members of the band had headed up to the cabin for a long weekend. They had decided to make brownies, but realized they had no eggs, or chocolate, or anything else for that matter. Except flour, needless to say they had ended up covered in flour and then had decided to wash it off, which was a good idea, if they had remembered that there was a hose outside and that the sink wasn't an ideal washing vessel. The whole thing ended badly with a water fight all over the house and a sticky wet flour-y mess _EVERYWHERE_.

Jay grinned, "Remember when Sasha found out the sink nozzle came off?" he asked with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. Oz chuckled, "until we dumped the remaining flour on her head." He added. "yeah, then it was war." Jay said grinning and glancing at the couch where Jake had ended up performing the victory dance.

Willow grinned, despite the situation, and the fact she hadn't been there, it sounded pretty funny.

They settled on the wooden floor, well, except Jay who sprawled out on the couch and passed out pizza and cans of pop. They ate in silence for a minute or so as they all of them tore into their pizza.

"So, I'm guessing we're going out tonight?" Jay said as he reached for his third slice of pizza. Willow paled, but Oz nodded. "What have you explained so far?" Jay asked as he swallowed. Oz glanced over his shoulder at Jay, "Not much, just the basic idea of sharing identities and the choice over natural or memory." Oz said frowning slightly.

Jay smiled, "then we have a bit to cover. You'll have to excuse the lack of explanation at this point, the whole change part is really hard to explain, it's one of those experience it and know, deals." Jay said glancing at Willow and running his hand through his curly hair.

Willow nodded. She understood, even though this was WAY scarier than magic, it was the same idea, she could never explain a spell and how it made one feel until they experienced it themselves.

Jay sighed and put down his the pizza box. Oz got up and took the box, he then walked into the kitchen and put it in the garbage before re-entering the room and announcing that he was going to take a shower.

Jay and Willow eyed each other wearily before Willow broke eye contact. "I know the feeling." Jay said fidgeting. "What you have to understand is that there will be pain. I can't sugarcoat that for you, and no matter what you choose, either remembering or not, you will eventually have to go through it." Jay said acting serious for the first time that evening.

Willow nodded solemnly. "I guess I should just start out remembering, might as well, right? The faster the better?" She asked. Jay sighed. "yep. I should tell you now, you won't be able to influence anything it does. That takes time. The faster you realize that there's nothing you can do but watch, the better understanding you'll get of how this animal works." Jay added.

Willow paled even more. "We'll be right beside you, I promise. Oz and I won't let anything happen." Jay said reassuringly. Willow smiled weakly.

Then she shook her head and asked the question she had been dying to ask all night. "You know that song Oz was listening to this morning when you called?" she asked. Jay nodded; happy for the change of subject. "what band was that?" Willow asked.

Jay's eyes went wide. "Oz didn't tell you?" he asked amazed. Willow shook her head. Jay laughed, his head shook and his dark hair fell in his face; he pushed it out of his eyes before continuing. "That was _us_," he exclaimed, "Our band, Lunar Phases." He added. "we got released last year, and that song has been kind of a hit on the alternative stations. Which is ironic, it was Oz's favorite song." He explained.

Willow frowned. "That was Oz on guitar?" she asked. Jay nodded and smirked, "the cut on the c.d. was the first one he cut in the studio. Sash. Didn't even tell him what it was, she just gave everyone the sheet music and let us have it. Before that we didn't even know she wrote music. Then again, you never knew with her, you know? Like one day we got into a cab and she just started rambling on in Russian to the cabbie. We didn't even know she spoke Romanian, she had no hint of an accent, but apparently, she grew up there." Jay said with a grin.

Willow smiled. "It was a good song." She said nodding. Jay smiled. "Yeah, the only problem with that one is the lack of a drum solo." He agreed. Willow smiled. "the drummer I presume?" she asked.

Jay nodded. "And former lead singer, until Sasha blew my voice out of the water." He said matter-of-factly. Willow frowned. "Who was the drummer when you were singing?" she asked. Jay laughed. "The drummer and I were one and the same." He said glancing over at the bathroom and then at the clock.

"Is that even possible?" Willow asked. Jay nodded, "anything is possible with superpowers." He said frowning. Willow sighed. "I could do with out those." she mumbled. Jay smiled knowingly. "It will take a while to get used to it, but it normally turns out okay." He said sliding off the couch and onto the floor beside Willow.

"Can you feel it yet?" he asked motioning towards his chest. Willow nodded, her chest had been buzzing for hours now, her insides felt shaky, like she had just finished running a marathon she felt weak. She heard Oz come out of the shower and jumped out of her skin.

Jay smiled knowingly. "You'll get used to it." He said smiling. Willow nodded slowly, but looked skeptical. She turned around as Oz came down the hallway still toweling off his newly blued hair.

He smiled at her and glanced over at Jay who was checking his watch. They made eye contact and then Jay said "It's just about time. Wanna get out there and I'll meet you there with Willow?" Jay asked cocking an eyebrow. Oz nodded. "Yeah," he glanced over at Willow, "you can trust him you know that right? He's done this before, I haven't, just do what he says and it'll be okay, I promise." He said meeting Willow in the eyes, before going over to her and giving her shoulder a squeeze before silently walking out of the cabin.

"he's in a weird mood today, isn't he?" Jay asked as Oz left. Willow nodded, " Ever since he heard you guys on the radio, when I asked him about it, he changed the subject and walked out. That's DEFFINALTLY not like him." Willow agreed.

Jay frowned, "I guess my phone call didn't help very much huh?" he asked with a half shrug. Willow nodded and then decided to change the subject, "So, what do I need to do?" she asked.

* * *

Oz slowly headed into the quiet woods, the sun had just set, but the sky was still a dark crimson. He glanced up at it every chance he had as it peaked through the tall trees. The forest was silent and his footfalls matched the silence perfectly. This was _his_ realm, his domain, where he could pull off the reality of life and live in his purest form.

Oz sighed, as he found a secure and safe area to make the change. He found a clearing and got undressed, yes he undressed, he liked his outfit today and it wasn't very comfortable changing with clothing on.

Then he got down on all fours, contrary to certain beliefs the change took time, normally anywhere between 5 to 15 minutes, and depending on how much energy he had.

When he felt comfortable he put himself in the 'mind frame' this, including the pain, was the hardest part, he had to keep his mind absolutely cued on what was happening all around him and what he was doing at the same time.

Finally he began the change, it started slowly, his body shook and he was soon covered in a hot sweat. His insides quivered and his body tremored, his skin stretched, the pain came in waves and he counted off the familiar states as he went along.

His back cracked and his spine arched, wiry hair sprouted on his body, and he watched as his hands morphed into paws the size of dinner plates, claws as sharp as razor blades sprouted where his finger nails used to be. His face distorted in pain as his mouth elongated his teeth ripped through his gums and his canines elongated into sharp points.

His hips twisted into a downward position and the change was just about complete, this ears moved from the sides of his face to the top of his head and stretched into the familiar wolf-like shape and the change was complete.

_I lay down on the soft forest floor panting slightly as I waited for my muscles to loosen up, the pain still came in waves but the intensity slowly died down and I waited a second more before getting to my feet._

_Off in the distance a mole or mouse was rustling through the dried leaves on the ground. I tilted my head to get a better idea of where it was and snorted. I turned around slowly and stretched my newly shapen body, I started with my neck and bent down slightly to get the most stretch through my back and finally the stretch came to the tip of my long feathery tail. _

_Once I was finished I walked slowly out of the clearing. I glanced up at the sky it was slowly darkening **"they should be out soon."** I wasn't sure who they were but I circled around the house anyways. My tongue hung out of my mouth and to the side as I watched two humans walk into the forest, one was chattering on nervously, I could smell the fear one her. It was like a drug. She was saying something to the male, he smelt familiar, it was so hard to make out, like a familiar language but I hadn't spoken it in a while. **"something about doing some Zen…" **whatever that was it made him laugh and he shook his head his hair moving into his eyes. _

_I glanced up at the sky again; it was just about nightfall, another few minutes. Then I saw the male come my way, I snorted once to let him know I was where I was, he glanced over in my direction, his lips moved upward and he whispered something under his breath, but I was too lazy to get it translated._

_The male then looked away, his eyes flashing orange as he turned. I decided to follow him, he was in my domain, I was bigger than him anyways. He knew I was behind him and looked over his shoulder. I silently shot into the bushes, ah, stalking my prey, this was always fun. The hunt would be fruitless tonight however, I was full. **"pizza."**_

_As he turned around again and headed into a clearing I followed closely behind him. Then he wheeled around and said something I couldn't understand, I cocked my head from left to right as he talked, but my eyes never left his. Finally he stopped and rolled his eyes, the then motioned towards the wood behind me. _

_I grunted in reply, I'd wait until he took the right form before I continued my hunt. Then I turned around and left the clearing to go find a new sport whilst I waited. I trotted around for a while catching scents of rabbits and birds here and there, and hearing the rustling sounds of them clambering through the woods and out of sight. _

_They knew that here. I am the king. Then I remembered the other human and could smell her just beyond a cluster of trees, I blinked a few times. It was getting darker and my night vision was just kicking in. _

_I found her just beyond the trees, huddled up in a ball, shaking. I could smell the wolf on her coming off in waves, but decided to ignore this. She smelt familiar, I couldn't place my finger on where I had smelt her before but I knew I couldn't harm her. I walked cautiously towards her and she looked up frightened. _

_Her eyes glowed a bluish colour in the remaining light of day. I walked causousely towards her and sniffed her hair; it smelt of chemicals, nothing nice. She whispered something under her breath before she started to convulse as the change took hold. **"I'm scared Oz…"**_

_I sighed impatient as I exited that part of the woods, she'd learn. I padded over towards the stream and took a drink, tongue slapping the roof of my mouth with cool water._

_I stopped when I heard a twig break behind me and turned around just in time to see a chocolate coloured wolf in mid air, before it landed with it's front paws firmly pinning me to the ground. It growled playfully and our eyes locked. I feined hearing something behind us and he took the bait, I was able to flip him over and now had him pinned to the forest floor. Now I growled._

_I'd missed him. He had been gone for so long. After a while I found I'd have proved my point and got off him slowly backing away. He got up and we circled playfully, out teeth shone bright in the moonlight above, finally I got tired of going in circled and reached out my neck and nipped the end of the tail. He yelped in surprise and I took off into the woods, weaving in and out of trees in an attempt to loose him._

_I glanced behind my shoulder and he was right there. We raced as far as the pond and I stopped right before I skidded into the cold and weed filled water. He, however wasn't so lucky. He landed in the pond with a large splash, spraying me with greenish algae and water. _

_I snarled as the water hit and was caught off guard as he locked his jaw around my back leg and pulled me into the pond also. The mud on the bottom oozed between my paws and I sunk in slightly. I reached over to him and bit his neck, hitting the large flab of fat on the top, I just about inhaled his thick wiry fur before forcing the air out of my nose. _

_I dragged him out of the pond and we both shook off, it was his turn to run from me so he shot off into the woods again, a piercing howl burst though the silence of the woods and I skidded to halt, he stopped behind me and we glanced at each other, we were being joined by a third. _

_Slowly I raised my snout in the air and howled back, he soon joined me and we let out a long howl, calling her towards us. He shifted from foot to foot, nervously as we heard quiet footfalls coming our way. We turned around slowly awaiting our newest foe; we saw her eyes gleaming in the newly risen moonlight first. Green, then we watched as a ginger coloured wolf walked over the ridge and moved towards us. Wearily eyeing us as she came up to us. When she got about 5 feet away she began to pace. Back and fourth, white teeth flashing as her gaze never left us. _

_But the weariness she was trying so hard to hide was coming off of her in waves. He snorted and stepped forward, she back stepped and growled low from her throat, a warning. Then she started shaking her eyes widened in alarm as she seemingly fought herself for control. One foot went towards him the other stepped backwards._

_I glanced over at him and we met eyes, both of us were getting the same thought. **"She was fighting it. Fighting nature in it's purest form, and she wasn't ready" **_

_Literal sparks started to fly from her body, some were green other's were orange. Then she turned herself around and started running. She was going too fast to be in control and she was headed for an embankment. We ran after her, he was faster than I, my breathing got harder as I ran at a faster pace and soon I was left behind. Finally I came to a complete halt. **"They're going the long way."**_

_I turned around and cut through the woods. My breathing slowly evened out as I trotted through thick woods. The thudding of both wolf's footsteps grew as they came up in front of me, I found the embankment and lined myself up with where they would pop out of the woods. _

_I waited pacing slightly in an attempt to get my air coming in the regular pace. I stopped when I heard a resounding yelp from the woods and watched curiously as more sparks flew from the forest before a ginger blur came barrelling through the bush followed closely by a larger black one. I stopped a few feet from the 40 ft. drop and barred my teeth in an attempt to change her direction. _

_It was too late; she didn't notice until she was halfway off the ledge **" Grab her!" **I reached out with my jaws and grabbed her in the hindquarters but the speed she was going, there was no way even I could stop her._

_We both fell down the cliff. I tumbled, hitting the sharp edged rocks on the way down, the world became dizzying as I fell down, every once and a while I would see a ball of ginger fur tumbling just in front of me. Or the slightly looming chestnut figure above me staring down at us with flashing orange, the next interval I looked up to see he had disappeared. Then I felt a sharp pain as I hit the bottom of the gorge and then the splash of cool water on my left haunch._

_Then next time I woke up I was in a literal puddle. The rain last night saved me slightly from the hard ground. Slowly. I got up, my bones aching in protest. The world spun slightly as I swerved on my feet before finding my balance. I blinked and looked around, she was lying on the ground beside me, but I saw no signs of movement. I tilted my head slightly and caught a heartbeat and breathing. She was out, and was going to be out for a while. I caught the smell of blood on the wind and looked down at her, there was a gash on her head the side that was in the puddle. It was bleeding slightly and the blood mixed with the water as it snaked through the puddle around her head._

_He came up beside me on my left shoulder and growled slightly. He tilted his head in my direction. I covered up a wheeze and snorted acknowledging the fact that I was okay. He slowly walked over to me and glanced at my paw, for the first time I noticed it was bleeding. He bent down and licked it once. Then he moved his head up and examined my left haunch, it was also bleeding slightly and there was a larger gash, but when he moved to examine it I sidestepped and motioned towards her. _

_He snorted and glanced up at the moon it was in the middle of the sky, full and shining silver. It looked mysterious and out of place somehow, like a firefly on the streets of New York. It loomed over their heads as they paced the scene of the accident, not sure whether to leave her or move her out of the puddle._

"_**Consult Dr. Jay." **I looked up to see him nudging her head gently from side to side with his nuzzle and walked over also, he growled as I got close so I backed off. I walked towards the clearing I had changed in. Slowly, very slowly, the world was still spinning and the shaky feeling hadn't left and I was still having difficulty breathing. It didn't help the fall had knocked the breath out of me, taking air came in weak gasps. _

_My footfalls kept getting slower on the mossy ground and I stopped a few times waiting to catch my breath. My rib cage shook with every breath and the trees on either side of me seemed to bend and retract as my eyes darted from side to side. Finally I reached my destination and lay down. Allowing my still shaky body to shift back into human form._

Oz woke up with a start, he had passed out, allowing the change back to human form to be carried out painlessly, for once Oz was glad he had passed out. He lay on the ground a while, his chest hurt like hell and this along with a headache was slowly making him regret ever stepping foot outside.

He sighed and sat up, the forest was quiet and the moon had almost finished it's cycle around the sky, it would be dusk soon. He was covered in mud but at the moment he was more concerned about getting his breathing back to the right rhythm, he sat there, for what seemed like hours, willing his lungs to keep going, all the while keeping his ears on the forest surrounding him. He fought to keep control of the rhythm until he was totally satisfied and slowly got up, earning him another dizzy spell, but this one was less harsh.

He then slowly walked over to his pants, which were tossed over a tree. Sure the plan was to fold them neatly and place them on the ground, but this never happened. He tugged them on and found his shoes, which were scattered haphazardly around the clearing.

Oz smiled despite his situation, he wondered if he would ever take the time to fold his clothes neatly before a change. Probably not… he finally decided whist tying his shoes. He slowly straightened and turned towards the ravine.

He glanced down at his wrist and sighed, he had sprained it and it throbbed. It was already turning that sick black colour as he approached the ravine. The pain was slowly starting to set in but, he had had worse. He flinched slightly as he hit a hard root, his leg was sore, but he wanted to check up on Willow and Jay first.

He pondered quietly what happened to her, the sparks that had come out of her were powerful. He wondered if the Wicca in her was fighting the wolf. Then he remembered his first change, she was fighting it, and had panicked. Not having control of your body was a scary thing but she had to learn to except it for now, or she could get seriously injured. It was going to be a long road, and they still had two wolf nights left this month.

He walked back into the ravine and found Jay, still in wolf form cleaning out Willow's head wound. The giant wolf turned around and stared straight into Oz's eyes. His orange irises pierced Oz's blue-green eyes. The pupils in his eyes contracted until they were almost as thin as a piece of paper flashing in the light of the moon. Oz sighed he knew Jay wasn't going to leave his patient. He also wasn't going to move her.

Oz grinned at his friend and motioned towards the house and back to him. The Jay-wolf snorted and his huge chestnut head motioned towards the ground and back up to him in a nodding gesture. The patch of white over his chest seemed to glow and the wolf turned back to his unconscious patient.

Oz slowly walked back to the house and downed some Advil, before gathering some blankets and clothes for both of them and taking them back to the woods. When he got back Jay was in human form again and was bending down over the ginger coloured wolf.

"Brought blankets." Oz said approaching Jay who was facing the other way. "Thanks man. How's your wrist?" Jay asked turning around and smiling. "Pretty sure it's sprained, but I took something, it's not too bad." Oz said walking over to them and handing Jay the blankets and fresh clothes.

"I should wrap that up later, when you get back to the cabin get some ice on it as quick as you can, it should minimize the swelling." Jay said getting up and picking up Oz's hand. "And your leg?" he added glancing down at Oz's left leg. "Hit it on a boulder on the way down, got a cut." Oz said showing off his blood stained pants.

"You'll probably need stitches as well." Jay added grimly. "What about Will? How's her head?" Oz asked brushing aside Jay's hands and focusing on Willow again. "She's got head trauma obviously, and cuts and scrapes. She'll have a hell of a headache when she wakes up, but I'm more concerned about her mental state and her nutrition, Giles mentioned she was hospitalized for that, so I got Jake to hack into the system and pull her charts." Jay said looking from the wolf to his friend.

Oz nodded grimly. "She ate a lot this morning and I wasn't around for lunch but she had some bread and stuff." Oz said frowning, "She should be okay, she was just stressed out when she was bitten and got all depressed." Oz added.

Jay smiled "Cause I mean, who would get depressed over a stupid thing like getting turned into a werewolf." He said sarcastically. Both guys chuckled wearily. "Do you want your bag?" Oz asked looking at the gash on Willow forehead. "No, it needs stitches, but when she turns back into a human they would rip so it'll have to wait until she turns again." Jay commented shaking his head.

Oz nodded slowly, it made sense. "You should go ice that, I'll stay here, and we'll be okay." Jay commented, motioning towards Oz's wrist. Oz looked over at Willow and slowly nodded, turned and headed back to the cabin.

**End of chapter 6! (for those of u who got confused, the bold italics wereOz influencing the wolf. i hope it wasn't too confusing. because it wasn't flashback like i had previous chapters... sorry for any confusion... if u have suggestions on how i can do that differantlyreview)Yay, Willow has transformed! Not without miss-haps if I may add but transformed all the same. The next chap will be up soon, I have it half done already. So if you review I might update quicker! Please people review, make someone's day, no matter how bad it is I don't mind it will still make me happy cause I'm weird that WAY! **

**W-B-D**


	7. Chapter 7

**_It's been a long time I know, this chap took me longer than I thought and with school and recent other fics I've been working on I've had almost no time. The updates should come faster after June 21st because that's when I get out of school and can put all my effort into pleasing you. The reader. _**

_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except this plot, any mention of mainstream media, guitar brands, Sesame Street, The Big friendly Giant or anything written and produced by 3 Doors Down ISN'T MINE. I swear. Of course Joss and his wonderful cast of happy go lucky writers own anything to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I OWN Sasha, Jake and the Wonderful Jay, who is my hero… sometimes. **_

_**THANKS TO: My lovely reviewers, who stick with me however long it takes me to update and my Beta, Evergreen Baby, who is also my hero… sometimes. **_

**With out further adu:**

**CHAPTER 7: The Ally, The Enemy and the Concussion.**

Willow woke with a start to a head numbing headache and an annoyingly pointy rock jabbing her back. She didn't bother opening her eyes as the memories of the previous night came flooding back.

Slowly she let out a groan and rolled over, causing spasms of pain to jump up and down her spine. She opened her eyes and just about screamed as she saw two chocolate brown eyes staring into hers, and she was suddenly very aware that she was lying on mud, naked.

Jay was smiling slightly and let out a soft chuckle as he got up. She heard him walk away and come back. He dropped a bag in front of her. She sat up and pulled the blanket draped over her around her bare chest with one hand as she reached for the bag. She glanced in it and was relieved to find fresh clean clothes and a bottle of extra strength Motrin inside. Willow blushed, her face turning a dark rosy pink.

It was a bright and sunny morning, the sun was already pretty high in the sky and the 'crash' site seemed all the more dream like.

Jay smiled and looked away as she got changed. He started talking softly at first to make sure he didn't hurt her head. Concussions were painful and he knew that first hand, having had countless concussions. His lips twitched slightly as he heard the bottle of pills being tipped, even before she got changed.

"Well, you had a rough night." he said a smile he had kept (or attempted to) keep hidden crept slid easily onto his face. He heard her snort and chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess for you that's the understatement of the year." He added.

Thankful for his understanding; Willow smiled, she was glad he had turned his back and allowed her to change, it also allowed her to clean off a little bit, using magic.

"You have a mild concussion and your head split open, other than the bruising is there anything else causing you pain? You took a bit of a tumble there." Jay commented.

Willow glanced up the steep 40ft gorge and sighed, "A bit of a tumble?" she asked talking for the first time. She glanced over towards Jay, noticing the change in clothing.

Yesterday he had been dressed more professionally, in a pinkish dress top and black jeans he had worn black leather dress shoes and a nice silver watch. Today he was wearing an orange, long sleeved top, an olive green vest and some cargo pants. His shoes were generally skater and dark brown.

Willow sighed, "My back hurts, but other than that I'm okay, just a little jittery." She said answering his question. "Do you like tea?" Jay asked, still facing the other way.

Willow finished getting dressed and walked up behind Jay. "Yeah, tea's good." She answered. He turned around and smiled at her. "We should get back to the cabin so I can properly clean out your cuts." He said sweeping into his now trademark bow and allowing her to pass.

Willow chuckled and moved forward as they headed towards the cabin. Suddenly she remembered who fell with her. "Oz! What happened? Is he okay?" she exclaimed stopping and turning around to face Jay. He smiled. "Oz is okay, he sprained his wrist and cut his leg, but he's been through much worse, and he was okay enough to come and see if you were okay before slunking back to the cabin." Jay said smiling at her.

"Slunking huh?" Willow asked raising her eyebrows. Jay laughed, "Did I say slunking? I meant more of an, ouch! I fell down a gorge type walk." He said his eyes dancing with good humor. Willow grimaced. "I guess it's my fault then." She mumbled falling back a step. Jay stopped and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey," he said meeting her eyes. "It was your first change and you weren't in control, if it's anyone's fault it's mine, I didn't prepare you enough. Alright?" He asked making sure she nodded before moving on.

"Besides," he added with a cheeky grin. "Last night was worth it, I've never seen sparks come out of a wolf before. I guess I just have that effect on some people." He said as they walked into the clearing the cabin had been built on. Willow frowned. "Sparks?" she asked. Jay grinned, "I'll explain later alright." He added.

They entered the cabin and found Oz asleep on the couch. Jay grinned, mischief gleamed in his eyes and he lifted his finger over his lips and motioned towards the sleeping lump on the couch. He then stomped into the room. He then rather loudly cleared his throat and said "Wow! I've never slept with a lesbian before." He exclaimed. "You told me she was good Oz, but you never mentioned she was THAT good!" he added.

Willow covered her ears and kicked Jay playfully in the leg, motioning towards her head. Jay gave her a sympathetic look and led her to a chair. Oz was looking around the room and frowned at Jay. He then groaned and stretched. He then cocked an eyebrow in Jay's direction and asked sarcastically, "Hot lesbian sex? Eh Jay? What a nice dream that must have been for you." Oz said glancing at Willow who grinned despite her headache.

"It's nice to know I still have a friend I can count on to have absolutely no faith in me." Jay said in mock grief. He grinned, "Where's my bag?" he asked after a moment. Oz nodded towards the kitchen and Jay was off. Willow smiled at Oz. "I'm guessing he's a morning person?" she asked raising her eyebrows. Oz nodded. "Unfortunately."

Jay bustled back in the room with a bowl of warm water, a cloth and a bag. "Gimp time!" he exclaimed. He sat down on the couch and summoned everyone who got up close and personal with the ravine the night before to his side.

"I'll do your wrist first. Did you ice it last night?" Jay asked Oz, looking skeptical. Oz shook his head and held out his blue-black wrist. Willow grimaced and looked over at Oz. "That looks painful." Willow said looking up from his wrist and raising her eyes to his face. She sighed slightly and then said quietly, "Sorry." She felt really guilty regardless of what Jay said.

Oz frowned and glanced at his wrist. It wasn't that bad, his chest hurt worse. " I guess that could've gone better, I'm fine, it'll be better tomorrow anyways." Oz commented quietly, wishing it would be the same for his lungs. Willow smiled slightly. "That's one upside of superpowers I guess." She said running a hand through her mop of hair.

Oz smiled and allowed Jay to wrap up his wrist with some nylon medical bandage, the pinkish orange colour contorting as he tightened it to the desired grip and placed a metal clingy strip over the end of the bandage so it stayed in place. Once Jay had finished he looked up at Oz, and for the first time since she had met him; he looked dead serious. "Now go put some ice on it." He said meeting his eyes. Oz sighed and got up.

Willow watched as he walked into the kitchen and sighed. Jay looked up and watched, his head cocking to the direction of the kitchen. Listening for the sounds of the freezer and the ice being shoved into a bag. A small smile crossed his face as he heard some ice fall on the floor and Oz letting out a curse.

"I guess you already know he's not a morning person. I love it when he's groggy." Jay said with a grin. "He's also incredibly stubborn." Jay added with a wistful look over at the kitchen again. Willow smiled then winced as the gash on her head opened up and the scab started bleeding.

"I should close that up, have you ever had stitches before?" Jay asked taking out his medical kit. Willow shook her head, which if she thought about it was quite amazing since she had been working with the Scoobies for over 5 years now. Fighting demons she thought; may not be as dangerous as once assumed. Then again, she was almost never on the front line; she left that to the certified slayers. She was strictly back up and back up only, she got to use her spells as defensive attacks and that suited her fine. She had seen enough battles to know that she wasn't cut-out for the front line and had no intention on testing that theory.

Jay seemed to be thinking the same thing. " Never?" he asked cocking an eyebrow. Willow shook her head again and smiled. "Buffy keeps us pretty safe." She said smiling. Jay looked impressed. "I guess I missed that. She didn't look like a big time warrior. Now Faith, I can see doing the whole noble slayer ass kicking thing, but not Buffy. She is however, a very graceful dancer."

Willow looked impressed. "She must like you then. It took Riley forever to get to that stage." Willow commented off-handedly. Jay's eyes twinkled. "I knew she was digging' me." He said patting his chest. Willow frowned. "How do you know Faith?" she asked as a crease entered her forehead.

Jay grinned, "That's a long story, one that involves a vampire rave and a gig we were playing. Oz thought she was still evil and then Sash came up to her and was like, so you recognize that guy, and she pointed out Oz and the rest is history." Jay said grinning. Willow smiled. She wondered if that was before or after Faith had gone to jail.

She watched as Jay slowly prepared a needle and thread and then looked up and took the cloth with the hot water and cleaned out her cut. It stung but the warm water made her feel marvelous. He then asked if she wanted a shot to numb her head.

Willow thought for a second and shook her head, her fear of needles coming back to her from when she was seven. The stitches were going to be enough torture she decided. Jay just smiled knowingly.

Oz re-entered the room and gave Willow a genuine smile. The first one she had seen from him since she had first found him again. His eyes sparkled as he came up behind Jay and released the ice cube in his hand down Jay's orange top. Willow smiled at the familiar feeling, Oz was in cheering up mode and he wasn't going to get out of it until she was feeling better.

Jay let out a screech of annoyance as the ice slowly fell down his back creating a streak of dark orange in his orange shirt as the ice cube progressed down his back. "Is that ice satisfactory enough for you Jay?" Oz asked kicking his foot up and landing on the couch with a smug look on his face, that seemed very un-Oz but Willow wasn't complaining. He seemed to have had a change of heart towards this whole situation and this thought alone made her heart soar with hope and the promise of new beginnings.

Jay shot Oz a dirty look that broke into a smile before answering his friend's question. "Yes, I deem this ice satisfactory for use Mr. Osbourne." He joked as he fished it out of his shirt and chucked it playfully at his friend.

Willow smiled and winced as her wound pinched again and Jay turned back to her and gave her a grin. "C'mon, lets get this over with." He said holding up the needle complete with medical thread. Willow bit her lip and nodded as she watched the slow assent of the needle to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow.

Oz watched Willow playfully from the couch and took in the humor of the situation, Willow was sitting on a chair in front of Jay, she was biting her lip and her eyes followed the needle as slowly was raised to her face; a picture of unease, as she shifted uncomfortably below a much taller Jay.

The mid-morning sun flowing through the window in the front door of the small cabin lit up Willows naturally red and coppery hair until the time where it looked almost on fire. It was slightly bushy due to its previous run in with a puddle.

Jay had it set up so that the sunlight acted as a medical lamp and slowly and cautiously tightened the thread just enough so that the wound closed and skin was still comfortable. He was just about finished when he finally noticed Oz watching with a slight glimmer in his eyes, his lips played across a smile.

Jay gave him a wink as he finished tying the last stitch and wondered what had put him in such a wonderful mood. Jay locked eyes with Willow again and smiled. He then brought the cloth back to her face and dabbed away the new blood. She winced slightly but the pain wasn't bad. He then gently took the anti-bacterial cream Oz handed him and gently applied it to the cut.

When he was finished he gave her a nod and she got up and sat down with Oz on the couch. Jay turned to Oz and motioned him up also. He gave Willow another cheeky grin "I must service your leg now monsieur." He remarked motioning towards Oz's upper thigh. Oz sighed, if anything overdramatically and got up.

Jay then glanced over at Willow and smiled "I didn't put gauze on that so that you could take a shower if you wanted. It doesn't matter when but when you get out, eventually find me and I'll put that gauze on it for you, kay?" he asked with a wink. Willow smiled gratefully "Thanks, if you two don't mind I think I'll do that now." She replied.

Oz nodded "Whenever you like." He said answering for both males. "You're the only woman here anyways so you get first dibs." He added his eyes sparkling again. Willow got up and followed Oz's directions to the clean towels before going to get her clothes.

Jay laughed "Too bad you won't be around to see me and Oz's thigh get some action though." Jay commented snidely. Willow turned around and gave him a mock glare, "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

Jay backed off immediately and was considering apologizing when Oz cut in, he saw right through her act. He knew her better than that. "It's supposed to mean that you may not be the only homosexual in the house." He said to Willow with a dead serious look on his face.

Jay was now totally behind and ran a nervous hand through his hair. Willow who was trying hard not to laugh finally broke, her stern face morphing into a large grin and then she let out a whoop of laughter. Oz chuckled too and Jay who was still confused finally clued in. "You two think you're soooo funny." He said sarcastically rolling his eyes. Oz turned to him and nodded. "Yes, yes we do." He commented off handedly.

Jay raised his eyebrows, "Just take off your pants buddy, I won't take anymore lip coming from you…" he said waving his finger back and fourth. Oz played into Jay's mock motherly scheme, and wobbled his lower lip slightly, "but…" He started, "No 'buts' TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS, let the Dr. fix you riiight up." Jay said smiling. Oz mock sighed again but did as he was told. Willow smiled and raised an eyebrow in Jay's direction.

"I'm not gay!" he exclaimed exasperated. Willow sighed. "I'm not!" Jay said cheekily. "Alright then I believe you." Willow said giving in finally, the hot water was calling her. She slowly opened the door and turned to survey the room again. It was a funny sight, Oz had his bare leg draped over Jay's knees, and Jay was bent over concentrating on the stitches. Oz had Marvin the Martian boxers on.

He turned around for the last time and said more seriously now. "We won't be around when you get out alright, I thought Oz and I would go for a walk, you know, to talk about tonight's game plan."

Willow nodded, a smile spread on her face and she muttered loudly something that sounded like "Gayer than Christmas." Oz snorted from the couch and Jay shook his head a grin sliding onto his face. Willow sighed her head hurt, the silence would probably do it good. Not that she hated the 2 young men being around the cabin, but some time alone would also allow her some time to reflect on what happened the previous night.

She smiled and gave a small wave before stepping into the bathroom, closing the door and undressing slowly.

When she was finished, she wasn't sure where to put the clothes, they were dirty and covered in mud and she was never one to mess up the bathroom, having lived with 3 other women for 3 years or so. Finally she decided to toss them in the corner. She then opened the window slightly; she had a feeling she was going to be in there for a while.

She then stepped into the small room, sighing as she felt her heart sink again. She was alone. She reached for the hot water tap and turned it all the way; she didn't bother turning on the cold water. The scalding water came out of the head and hit her cold body. The heat was almost unbearable but at the same time she felt all her muscles unclench as the water poured down her back.

She sighed and ran a hand through her sopping hair. Her forehead stung but it was only for a few seconds before that pain dissipated as well. She jumped as she heard the front door of the cabin slam, and she knew that she was alone. All the strength seemed to leave her body as the guys left.

She closed her eyes and slowly let in the comforting sound of the drops of water hitting the bottom of the shower.

_Willow…_

She thought she had heard something and opened her eyes; someone was calling her. She opened the door of the shower stall and glanced around a nostalgic feeling hitting her square in her chest. No one was there.

She shrugged, convincing herself she was hearing things and closed her eyes again, attempting to calm down.

_Willow, I know you can hear me. I don't have much time,_

Willow opened her eyes again, this time she knew something was up.

_Close your eyes again, it's okay, we just need to talk._

Willow did what the voice was telling her. The voice was female she was positive of that. When she did she did she felt her body pull away and her spirit was re-located.

"You can open your eyes now, it's okay. I'm sorry I had to do it this way but there wasn't much of a choice." The voice sounded less like a whisper now, and there was a hint of sharpness to it.

Willow opened her eyes and gasped. She was standing in a white room she was the only one there except one person. She looked vaguely familiar and Willow finally realized who it was. Sasha.

She stood out like a sore thumb against the white, in her tight dark blue jeans, olive green low-cut top, she wore a bellybutton ring that shone in the whiteness, with a denim jacket over her green top and chestnut coloured hair. She was slender and tall and her choppy shoulder length red streaked hair was blowing in the wind although there was none.

"You know who I am right?" She asked taking a few steps closer, her heels hitting the white marble echoing off the walls. Willow nodded slightly alarmed at seeing Oz's dead fiancé. The picture Oz had showed her didn't give her justice, her moss green eyes sparkled as she smiled nervously and the freckles on her cheeks came along for the ride.

"H-How, what?" Willow asked swallowing uncomfortably.

* * *

Jay grinned as he got into the 'Oz mobile.' "Man you have no idea how much I missed this thing!" he exclaimed getting in quickly. "Then you wouldn't mind getting out and getting back in would you?" Oz asked eyeing his driver's door with a grim look on his face. 

Jay frowned and got out. He then followed Oz's gaze to his busted door. "How?" he asked giving Oz a look. "Manhattan, dangerous town for Volkswagons." Oz said, getting in through the passenger's door and sliding over to the drivers seat.

Jay laughed and got in after Oz. "We gotta fix that at some point, huh?" He asked grinning. Oz nodded and turned the key, the old engine sprang to life and hummed pleasantly as the gravel under the tires crunched. The van surged forward and Jay couldn't help but smile at the familiar thunk it made as Oz shifted gears.

"Ah, this is the way it should be," Jay said kicking back and relaxing. "2 partners and friends, like, Batman and Robin, Chip and Dale, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Tom and Jerry." Jay added frowning slightly. "Weren't Tom and Jerry mortal enemies?" Oz asked looking up. Jay shrugged.

"So," Jay said as he opened the glove compartment and rummaged through it. "Last night was pretty interesting huh?" Jay said glancing over at his friend, who was fiddling with his well-used c.d. player.

"Wicca wolf." Oz said smiling and hitting the play button. Jay frowned. "I've never seen anyone fight that hard for control before. It was pretty insane." Jay said shaking his head. Finally he found what he what he was looking for.

He took out a pair of drumsticks and broke the cardboard holding them together; 'Kryptonite' by 3 Doors Down, came out through the old speakers. Jay grinned and closed the glove compartment with his foot as he kicked back. He then weighed each stick in his hands and grinned up at Oz.

"Good song, drum heavy." He said grinning and taking a stick in each hand. He then started drumming the song on the already dented dashboard. Oz let out a small sigh, "You see all those dents?" He asked "Those, are you." Oz said motioning to the dashboard.

Jay grinned, "I know, I just thought I should add to my collection, I mean heaven forbid they get lonely." He said grinning and waving a drumstick in the air. Oz grinned and turned up the music.

Jay sang along and his voice fit quite well with the song. Oz was glad his friend wasn't musically challenged and had excellent pitch.

The song ended and Jay took out his phone from his back pocket and turned it on. Oz glanced over at him and Jay grinned and shrugged. He then went into his voice mail and his eyes popped. "203, 203 voice messages." He stuttered, then he grinned, "Ah ha ha." He said in his best count voice.

"That's what you get for not taking calls." Oz said sarcastically. "Especially when you quit the monks." Jay added grinning at his friend. Oz laughed, "monks, many monks, ah ha ha" he replied smiling, "No fair you gotta say a number!" Jay said crossing his arms and pouting.

"Never really was up on Sesame Street, my little cousin was always more of Big Friendly Giant fan." Oz commented. Jay frowned, "How come all the toddler shows have to do with puppets and old guys?" He asked. Oz smiled, "The only things kids aren't weaker then?" Oz suggested. Jay frowned, "What about old women?" He asked. "They can get pretty violent." Oz said shaking his head in mock-shame.

Jay laughed and the song on the scratchy C.D. changed and some random un-known band came on. With Oz there was always some un-known song, some un-known band from this random hole in the wall studio, Jay wasn't even sure where he got them from, but if you wanted a new sound, chances are Oz had already discovered it, and half the time it wasn't even a 'new' sound; often it was some undiscovered band from the 60's or 70's with a sound no one had ever even thought about before.

Jay knew Oz must have thousands of burnt disks hidden somewhere, and one day he would find them. Then his perpetual boat would come in and he would strike pay-dirt. Although, it would have been nice if Oz had left a map or some clues or something; mad-libs even, make it a good old-fashioned treasure hunt. He could dress up and everything, hat and hook, maybe a fake bird; or a real one, that way he could charter a carrier pigeon to do his evil non-monk bidding. Besides, it was rude of Oz to keep all the booty, _wait, heh, pirates called treasure booty… maybe they were Munichs…_ to himself, one day he would find it. Yes. He would. Jay decided twirling a drumstick between his fingers. Then the song ended.

It was quiet for a little while longer and the Jay turned to Oz, "Should I listen to the messages?" Jay asked. Oz shrugged "They are all going to say the same thing." He said looking over at Jay. "They did for me, they just had a bunch of people phoning and saying that they couldn't believe I could ever do something so stupid and that if they ever saw me again they would turn me in… Bla bla bla." Oz said looking over at Jay.

Jay sighed, "Nice going away present." He commented grimly. Oz nodded and looked over at Jay, " Well I might as well get this over with," Jay said pressing the speakerphone button on his phone and selecting voice mail. Oz glanced over at Jay and raised his eyebrows wondering why he had put on speakerphone.

"I thought you should share in the grief." Jay said reading Oz's mind and answering his question. Oz resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Jay flipped through the numbers on his voice mail until he found one he didn't recognize.

"This one doesn't even show a number." Jay said holding up his phone and frowning. Oz glanced over at Jay but said nothing. "Well, this one I HAVE to listen to, it won't let me delete it." Jays said pressing the delete button repeatedly. He then gave up and pressed play.

The cheap cell phone cracked and buzzed but the voice on the other end was clear and precise, even stern and Jay paled when he heard it. He just about dropped the phone out of shock. He managed to mellow out just enough to comprehend the noise into words.

"Jason, your mind has been twisted into believing that we are the bad ones here. The murderer has shut your eyes to all that makes sense and the loss of the she-wolf has weakened your reasoning skills. I will ask you once to come back to the side of reasoning and just before it is too late and you do something radical. I need you to search into the depths of your mind and find what is truly right." At this Oz snorted, but kept listening.

"It's not too late to join us again, but know that if you are seen anywhere near that traitor that you will be shown no more respect or mercy than he is." The message ended and Jay turned off the phone. He looked almost transparent he was so pale.

"That was him. That was the man who found me and took me in. The one that ordered us out of the building with no intention of coming back to get her. Not to mention he thinks I'm the insane one." Jay finished with a low growl. Oz shook his head not bothering to glance over at Jay, he was well aware of Jay's story and would rather avoid the topic all together.

Jay, on the other hand wasn't thinking what Oz assumed he was thinking. He had gotten over the death threats the minute they started coming; his mind was on Blade and how to help Willow. Slowly he looked up, hoping that he had enough courage to tell Oz about Blade. Which, at this time, was relatively impossible, and then again, it was always relatively impossible.

* * *

"Yeah, I'm not really sure how this happened either, but nice threads." Sasha said biting her lip. Willow panicked; she had been in the shower right? She looked down and saw she was in a pair of tight blue jeans and a white tank top. Slowly she let out a sigh of relief and sank into a chair. 

Sasha laughed and shook her head; "I should probably explain some stuff while I have you around." Sasha stopped and tapped her foot on the hard marble floor. "I guess the first thing I should tell you is that Blade is back." She said a frown creasing across her forehead. Willow couldn't help but show her surprise. "What do you mean, back? I thought Oz had… well" Willow said not wanting to offend the woman in front of her. "Killed him?" Sasha supplied. Willow nodded a blush falling across her face.

"Well Oz told you right, Oz had bit him, but he didn't die. Those damn monks had to go and rehabilitate him." Sasha explained, annoyed with those damned monks. Willow swore under her breath, it was true, it was very rare she would bring out the profanity but today, she decided to make a special exception. Sasha smiled, "I know how you feel." She commented with a sigh.

"I guess I should tell you Jay already knows. He found out during his stay in Sunnydale; ran into some of Blade's possible recruits." Sasha added. "He's in Sunnydale?" Willow exclaimed. Sasha nodded. "Don't get mad at Jay, he didn't want to put stress on the both of you during the moon cycle. That I can understand, he also has the Sunnydale crew all prepped and ready for anything he thought Blade could dish out until Oz and him could get there." Sasha said smiling wearily. Willow sighed, "Oz doesn't know yet right?" She asked. Sasha nodded and picked at her nails. "I think it would be better if it stayed that way until at least the moon cycle is over. I know he wouldn't like to be kept in the dark but I think this time should be an exception. He needs to be stable enough to help you out." Sasha said giving Willow a sympathetic look.

Willow was touched so many people wanted to help her and nodded. "But this isn't good though right? I mean why is Blade in Sunnydale in the first place?" Willow asked. "I guess I failed to mention Blade is slightly bitter when it comes to the guy that turned him into a werewolf in the first place." Sasha said with a sigh.

Willow sighed as well. "I'm guessing bitter is the understatement of the year right?" Willow asked, suddenly afraid for her friends. Sasha nodded and pulled a hand through her hair. "That about sums that up." She added.

"What can I do to help?" Willow asked. Sasha smiled. "Just work through the phases and you'll be doing enough, don't push too hard though. When you have to leave I can give you some stuff that will help you make the changes easier, but don't push nature. Do what Jay and Oz say and you should be okay. There's no pressure on you, no matter how fast you think you have to get control because of stuff going on back in Sunnydale, you need to be in the moment. Don't push the wolf or it will push you back, alright?" Sasha said giving her an encouraging smile. Willow nodded, taking in the situation.

"I thought I'd also let you know why you're talking to me instead of Tara huh?" Sasha asked. Willows head snapped up from the floor and her mind spun. "Tara?" She asked. "Yeah, she says hi. I'm sorry it couldn't be her talking to you but the rules are you can't know the one your talking to." Sasha said looking sympathetic. Willow nodded she understood although was more than a little disappointed.

"Don't, don't tell anyone about our little talk okay? I would also like to tell you to drink the tea Jay has waiting in the kitchen, it's good for you and will help you stay calm during the change. I also took the liberty of curing that headache of yours and stopped time so you could finish your shower in hot water. A cold shower sucks, especially when you were cold to begin with." Sasha said with a grin. Willow nodded returning the grin. "It was good to meet you. Will I be seeing you again?" Willow asked.

Sasha shook her head, "Probably not, this is one of those one time things. The guy up stairs decided that you needed a heads up and Tara made that possible." Sasha said smiling. Willow frowned absorbing the information in a state of awe. "Hey, you better not think you good guys are alone down there huh?" Sasha said laughing at Willow's expression. Willow finally shook her head and smiled.

"Good, we also talked about it and decided you two need to move on with your lives. You know as well as I do that Oz still loves you, you saw that spark in his eyes this morning." Sasha said grinning. Willow blushed again. "Oh there's no rush but you 2 have our permission. Which is saying a lot." Sasha said waving a finger in Willow's direction. Willow laughed. "One more thing." Sasha started. Willow mock sighed. "I thought it would be fun if you went into the storm-cellar around the back of the cabin and took a look around." Sasha said ignoring Willow's sigh with a grin.

Willow frowned but nodded and stood up, recognizing the time was almost up. "Thank you." Willow said a smile playing across her sad expression. "Try not to look so glum all the time huh. Things will get better." Sasha said also standing.

Willow held out her hand and Sasha grasped it. Her skin was cool to the touch but soft and reassuring at the same time. "It was good to have met you." Willow said allowing herself to look into Sasha's dark green eyes. Sasha nodded and she smiled lightly, "Treat him good okay?" she asked. Willow nodded. "And give good old Jay a nice solid punch in the arm for me as well." Sasha added after a minute. She was still smiling but Willow could tell this was difficult for her. Tears had started to well up behind her eyes, but she only got a glimpse of this before she felt the familiar tug taking her back from where ever she had been.

Soon she felt the hot water massaging her back again, but a faint whisper still played on the inside of her ear, like an echo from the past.

_I made it so the wolf had more input in what you do when your not in that form, it will be difficult but you will learn how to deal with the impulses. They may come on a bit strong at first, but believe me this will help… Then again, what do I know, I was born with a wolf_.

A musical chuckle played in her ears as the echo grew fainter and Willow waited for the information to sink in.

* * *

"What do you think we should have Willow try next?" Jay asked shifting uncomfortably. Oz shrugged "You're the expert." He said easily. "Although," he added with a slight chuckle, "We should tell her to stop fighting with it so hard, we won't get hurt if she's not fighting for control and I think that's what she was trying to do last night, she sensed the wolfs unease and tried to stop it from getting any closer to us." Oz said turning into a small corner store. Jay nodded, "Agreed, that was when the sparks started flying. Being Wicca and all I guess she could fight it more than we could judging by the power she showed" He commented slipping on a pair of sunglasses. 

"I also think she needs to loosen up more, if her muscles are all tight when she changes it's gonna hurt more." Oz said frowning. "Thé-chai then?" Jay asked. Oz frowned, "We can let her decide." Oz said finally. Jay nodded and bit his lip. "We could also have her try to change before the moon, to get her used to the feeling so that she's more comfortable. Maybe as the wolf have her do a hunt or something, get to know the pack. You know?" Jay said grinning. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" Oz asked pushing him out of the van. Jay laughed. "Of course, I haven't been on a good hunt in months." He said waving off his raised eyebrow.

"So Devon's pretty cool huh?" Jay asked cocking an eyebrow. Oz looked faintly surprised, "Really?" he asked scooting over to the passenger's side and exiting the car as well. "We had a run in at your 'welcome back Oz party' at that club." Jay explained as he walked into the store.

Oz nodded, as if it wasn't a strange occurrence to have a welcome home party after he skipped town. "Was he upset?" Oz asked examining the cooler full of beverages. Jay shrugged, "He was pretty hammered, but he was looking for you." He commented grabbing a slurpee cup and choosing a flavor.

Oz sighed and chose some Fruitopia. "Can't play a guitar to save his life though." Jay said moving over to the beef jerky Oz chuckled, "Defiantly not." He said shaking his head. Jay grinned, "They have some good songs though." He commented off handedly. Oz cocked an eyebrow in Jay's direction, "I was invited on stage to play some string." Jay explained motioning for Oz to add his juice onto the pile on the front counter and taking out his wallet.

Oz smiled and nodded his thanks as the Asian clerk handed over Jay's change and they walked out of the store. His fingers itched for a guitar; his stint on stage back in Sunnydale suddenly didn't feel like enough. "So, up for an adventure?" Jay asked. Oz frowned and glanced over towards the trees.

An adventure is what they called it when they a hunt or run around the forest, the adventure part was the fact that no one really knew what they would end up doing. He then shook his head, "Nah, I've had too much of the forest scene lately, it's actually nice being in this form for a while." Oz said off handedly.

Jay gave Oz a sideways glance and a cock of an eyebrow. "What do you mean too much?" he asked, allowing a hint of worry to enter his voice.

* * *

Willow finished her shower quickly, despite what Sasha had said, she wanted to get out of the shower, her head was feeling much better however she was still slightly shaky from just talking to what she assumed was a ghost or, something. 

As she dressed and stepped through the door and into the silent house, her cool feet hit the hard wood floor as she padded down the small hallway and into the kitchen. She jumped slightly as a shadow passed almost inexplicably behind her eyes and she felt a spark of something she didn't know in the back of her mind. Her heart thudded faster as she tried to fight whatever it was that was that wanted out.

It pushed back, fighting against her barrier. It was there, she could feel it and it pushed against her defenses as it tried to find a window out. Her hands shook as she tried to remain calm, it felt so much like it was going to take over. She sat down, tears flooded her eyes and threatened to pour down her cheeks. She gave a shuttering sigh attempting to clear her thoughts. She was going to lower herself into a chair when she spotted the teapot on the stove.

Sasha hadn't lied when she had said that Jay would have tea ready. Willow thought as she reached over and grabbed the handle on the pot and at the same time with the other hand reached and grabbed a mug from the hooks attached to the cupboard and set it down on the counter in front of her.

Her hands still shook as she felt the wolf watching through her own eyes. Wary of the tingling sensation in all of her extremities. She feared the pain of the change she had experienced the night before and the thought of that returning tonight was almost unbearable. She tilted the pot slowly and watched as the steaming hot golden tinted liquid filled her cup, the comforting smell hitting her in the face almost at once.

She inhaled deeply and soon a feeling of calm over powered her jumpiness. She then took her cup into the living room. Walking made her whole world jerk lazily like she was watching a fragmented video. She bit back an angry growl. She was startled when she found herself cursing under her breath, cursing Sasha for making the wolf easier to contact. Cursing the one who bit her in the first place. She wasn't even sure who bit her, Buffy and Giles had taken care of it.

She sat there glowering for a second, her rage only volumized by the wolf breaking into her senses. Sounds suddenly became sharper, and louder, more clear, the groan of the old hide-a-bed as she switched positions. She jumped at the sound. She decided she was thankful for the concussion being taken care of or it would have really hurt her head.

Among the new sounds she was hearing she also heard Sasha's caution in her head; _Don't push the wolf or it will push you back. _Willow, although still fighting for control shook her head, how the hell was she supposed to live with the wolf breathing down her neck, influencing her normal self, sight, smell, taste. The battle she was fighting in her head she felt would eventually be a losing one, she could feel that everytime she blinked or breathed or her heart beat. She was losing strength and as she was losing strength the wolf was gaining more.

She sighed, indecision fluttering around her head like a mosquito. Finally she gave in, she would rather lose the battle freely than lose it as a weak whisper in her own mind. She let the wall crumble in her mind and felt the wolf rush in. Dizzying her world for a second as she felt everything change.

She closed her eyes and when she opened them it was like seeing a whole new world. Her vision was sharper and everything seemed more clearly defined, shadows weren't as dark.

Her nose picked up more than she could ever imagine possible. She could actually smell Jay's dufflebag in the guest room, though all the clothes were clean. She could smell her blood soaked bandage in the bathroom garbage can. She could smell a squirrel walking across the clearing outside.

And while she could smell the squirrel, she could hear it too. Every step brought on the crunch of gravel and leaves. Then came the rain came, she smelt it first, then she heard the first drop hit the ground with a light splash, soon followed by another five and then a countless amount of minute droplets hit the ground.

Willow sighed the sound was comforting and it echoed through the quiet house. Willow took a sip of her tea and let the warmth of the liquid spread slowly through out her entire body. Slowly she calmed down her mind became at peace with her surroundings and her mind slowly calmed, her hands stopped shaking and she sighed once more.

When she had finished her tea she got up and took her cup to the kitchen, she was still getting used to her new viewpoint on the world and swayed slightly as her eyes adjusted to the new viewpoint.

She rinsed it out and went back into the living room wondering what she could do now when the phone rang. Jumping at the shrill ring; she reeled around and spotted the phone sitting innocently on the table beside the couch. She hadn't even noticed it there before. She wondered who would be calling a cabin in the middle of no where. But picked up anyways.

"Hello?" She asked tentatively hoping to hear Jay or Oz's voice. Instead she got something quite different, "Oz?" A male voice asked. "He's um, not here at the moment. Can I ask who I'm speaking to?" Willow answered. "I guess you can ask who your speaking too, but if you're not Oz can I ask who I'm speaking to?" The voice said. Willow noticed a hint of amusement in his voice and smiled.

"I'm Willow Rosenbourge." She said pacing the room. "Really? Willow Rosenbourge? From Sunnydale? What are you doing up there?" The voice said sounding surprised. "There was a little um, problem." Willow said shaking her head. "I see, well, I'm Jacob Glenn, known by most people as just Jake." Jake said changing the subject.

"Nice to meet you, I think." Willow said biting her lip. "Same here." Jake said. The connection was quiet for a second and the phone buzzed and cracked. "You wouldn't know Jay would you?" Jake asked finally in a doubtful voice. "Yeah, he's out with Oz, is something wrong?" Willow asked in a worried voice. Jake choked. "If Jay's with Oz there must be something wrong." He commented.

Willow laughed, "It started that way." She commented. "I can see it now." Jake said with a laugh. "So, something happened in Sunnydale then?" Jake asked. "Yeah, I got bit." Willow said quietly. "Wow, I'm sorry man, that sucks." Jake said sounding genuinely concerned. Willow nodded slightly, "Yeah, it really does." She agreed. "So are you a wolf then?" She added curiously.

Jake laughed, "No, no, I'm so much different then that." He said mysteriously. Willow smiled "Fair enough. So why are you calling? Did you need to get a hold of Jay?" Willow asked. "I do actually, he's had his phone off for a few days now, do you want to tell him to give me a call when he gets in?" Jake asked. "Yeah, I'll do that, it was nice to meet you." Willow said frowning. "You too." He said then he was cut off and she heard him swear, and a deep growl, "Son of a Bitch" He growled "Thought you could ambush me could you?" He hung up and all Willow heard was a dial tone.

Willow hung up with a frown. She was slightly worried about what had happened to Jake and mentally noted to let both guys know what she had heard. She sighed and headed out the front door with out even noticing. She needed some air and the rain was comforting.

She started walking around the cabin examining all the doors and windows. When she got around to the back she saw a door attached to the cabin, leading underneath it. Curiosity took the best of her and she bent down to examine the lock, it was the average key lock, slightly rusty. She couldn't help but wonder if she could break it or not.

Slowly she reached out and grasped the cool metal in her fist. She then pulled with all her strength, which was more than enough to break the lock. It broke off easily into her hand, she smiled and kicked open the wooden door.

Only then did she realize she had just broken Oz's lock. Hopefully he wasn't too connected to it, she thought biting her lip. She lowered herself down the hole until she felt herself hit wood. She stepped down from the solitary stair and into the darkness. Her forehead hit a string hanging from the ceiling and she pulled. Flooding the basement in light.

It was like going into a hole in the wall music store, a solitary desktop donned one side of the wall, hundreds of shelves lined the walls absolutely full of c.d.s, plastic milk crates full of records were stacked on one wall. There were spare guitars and a snare drum in one corner with a few different amps and hook-up cords.

Willow sighed, she had found Oz's nook. The nook of Oz, misty light poured into the room from the muddy old windows surrounding the ceiling as dust floated lazily through the air and shone gold as it hit the light from the windows. She slowly sat down in the chair in front of the computer and sighed.

She was startled by the sound of the computer turning on and realized that it had been on stand-by. A window popped up on the dark screen and asked what her name was. Not really thinking about it she typed: Willow. And the screen lit up. The desktop was a wall paper of a guitar. The only icon she had to click on was a media player, so she did.

It opened up to an all music list of millions. The scroller bar was a literal line. None of which in view she had ever heard of. Slowly she double clicked on one and music boomed from speakers hidden around the room with crystal clear quality and Willow found herself absorbed with the music. Slowly she got up and walked around the room; stopping once and a while to examine a case or two as she walked through the isles of small jewel cases.

She stopped at some un-marked cases and took them out, there were six in total and she brought them over to the computer and stuck the first one in the disk drive.

* * *

Jay bit savagely into his beef jerky, his eyes boring into Oz's. "What do you mean too much of the woods?" He pressed again. Oz looked away from Jays gaze and turned on the engine in an attempt to avoid the topic, but Jay saw through Oz's plan. 

"That's not healthy Oz and you know it. Is that why no one could get a hold of you? Why you're acting so strange? You can't grieve that way man." Jay said running a hand through his hair. "I know, but it was easier in that form…" Oz almost whispered as he drove down the road.

"One and a half years is way too long Oz" Jay said looking pale. Oz laughed, "A little late to look back on the past like that now huh?" he asked glancing over at Jay, who frowned. "True but still not healthy, you could have really screwed yourself up Oz, and both Willow and I need you to be at your sanest." Jay said with a smile.

Oz raised an eyebrow. "When am I ever not sane?" he asked. Jay laughed, "Good point. But no more long term wolf for you okay. I'm worried about you man, which is kind of creepy because normally it's the other way around." Jay said running a nervous hand through his hair. "Don't worry about me Jay, I'm okay, a little tired but okay." Oz said as his voice trailed off.

Jay rolled down the window with a sigh, and stuck his head out it was hot the rain had died off and hot sun slowly beamed through the clouds. The water on the road evaporated and steamed as the van made it's way lazily down the long heavily forested road. Sunlight hit the new spring leaves above and created a light green glow on the forest ground. The perfect time for an adventure and he was sitting in a car with his best friend wondering how it was going in Sunnydale and why in the name of hell that Oz would feel the need to be the wolf for one and a half years. What if the wolf denied Oz changing back into human form and Oz would have been stuck? What if the wolf had the control now?

Jay shook his head slowly as he tried to sort out his thoughts, it didn't look like it, but guys like him had been the wolf for shorter than Oz and had gotten stuck. Jay pulled his head back into the cab and saw Oz with a smile playing across his face. His eyes twinkled in the sunlight. Jay almost couldn't keep a straight face as he asked. "And what would it be that you find so damned amusing?"

Oz was grinning now. "You got bug guts on your face man." Oz said shaking his head and watching as Jay's eyes widened with a look of pure horror and he pulled down the blinder so that the mirror was facing him. Sure enough there was a mosquito the size of a small island of goo exploded on his forehead. "God!" Jay said taking up his vest and wiping off the remains. "Yes?" Oz mocked turning his attention back to the road.

"You know, that wasn't very nice… he could be listening you know?" Jay said crossing his arms like a six-year-old girl and pouting. "I thought with religion you were a in-different." Oz said quoting Jay from two years before. Jay snorted, "You started it." He said indifferently he then broke out into a smile and started laughing.

Oz rolled his eyes and took the sharp turn into the familiar road, towards the cabin. "Think Willow will be awake?" Jay asked quirking his head. Oz shrugged and sped faster down the road. When they were a few feet away Oz heard faint and familiar music coming from the inside of the cabin and frowned at Jay, who heard it too. "So much for having to pussy foot around huh?" He said with a shrug. He thought a moment and then added, "Somehow I wonder whether she took more than the suggested dose of meds. With a concussion like hers she should be hearing that three or four times as loud." He said raising an eyebrow.

Oz shrugged, "Maybe she healed herself or something." He said thinking of his first night spent in the cabin. "Healed her self?" Jay asked looking as if the suggestion was the most impossible solution in the world. Then a look of realization dawned on his face and mumbled, "Right, Wicca wolf…" Oz smiled and stopped at the end of the driveway. It was at this point where he realized where the music was coming from…

He looked over at Jay who seemed to have realized where the music was coming from as well and was looking excited. "Why is there music coming from under the cabin Oz?" he asked slowly, Oz shrugged and went for the front door but found himself being pulled away at the last second. "leg-go" He mumbled as he was pulled by the much taller Jay to the back door where the hatch to the basement of the cabin.

There they found Willow in a swivly chair, music blared out of speakers so loud the cabin shook. She was spinning around in the chair with her eyes closed arms out. Jay laughed and yelled over the music "Oz, man I think we've got another fan!" Oz grinned; he had recognized the music at once, more Lunar Phases. Willow jumped at the sound of Jays voice and then grinned up at the two of them.

"Congratulations Will, you found what I never could find; Oz's booty." Jay said walking over to Willow and giving her a congratulatory pat on the back. "Booty?" Willow asked biting her lip and eyeing Oz who was shaking his head sadly. "His stash, his supply shed, his source of all musical power!" Jay was counting them off on his fingers now. Willow laughed, "Don't forget his nook." She said smiling.

Jay nodded, "Exactly!" He said, and with that he nodded, turned around and started examining the nearest shelf. "He'll be in here for hours now…" Oz said with a sigh. Willow giggled and Jay turned around "Well you know; she does seem to have a thing for the band. I might wait for later if she wanted, you know, a live show." Jay said winking at Willow who temporarily panicked and glanced at Oz wondering how he was feeling while hearing his dead fiancé sing. He looked fine, if anything a bit jazzed about playing a few songs.

A smile played against his lips as he glanced at Jay. "There's your drum heavy song right there." He said walking over to the speakers, fiddling with them for a moment and the sound came out even more clear. Jay grinned, "I think it sounds better live, I'll go get them." Jay said heading for the door.

When he was gone Willow turned to Oz. "Your okay with this?" She asked. Oz nodded, "Yesterday just hit me kinda hard you know? It was the first time I had heard that song since she left and well, it was my favorite." He said trying to explain. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up into her eyes. Willow nodded, "Understandable. When I came home after England and after Tara you know; Buffy and Dawn had cleared the house of all of Tara's things but they missed her secret spot and I found all her favorite dried flowers and broke down all over again." Willow said blushing slightly, the rose colour going across her nose and cheeks.

Oz nodded, _if only she knew._ Willow smiled slightly and it was quiet for a second before Oz motioned towards the stack of guitars and hook-ups behind Willow who moved over. Oz grabbed a dusty case and a hook-up on one of the shelves. "You guys really don't have to you know… I mean I love these songs and everything but if you aren't okay with everything, it looks like you haven't touched a guitar in ages and…" Oz put his hand up a smile sliding onto his face. "It's alright, back in the 'dale Devon dragged me up with the Dingoes." Oz said with a shrug. Willow smiled and a drum in a case fell through the underground door, pronouncing Jay's return, which appeared to be fruit full considering it was followed by another six before Jay himself came back down the door.

"Miss me?" He asked with a pout as he came back. Willow shook her head with a laugh, "Defiantly not" She said shaking her head. Jay gave her a playful shrug. "Whats with the liveliness all the sudden, this morning you were dead on your feet. Not to mention the music blasting." He said grinning. "That shower did wonders." Willow said with a mischievous grin. "I see." Jay said bending down and putting the drums together. Oz and Jay exchanged glances and Willow laughed, "Alright, what are you two thinking?" She asked putting both hands on her hips.

Both turned around and gave her an innocent look and she rolled her eyes. "Oz am I drummin'and singin'?" Jay asked changing the subject. "Well, seeing as Jake's in Miami we don't have a beat." Oz said shrugging, "Why can't you handle them both anymore? You getting old?" Oz added. Jay laughed, "Walked into that one didn't I?" He said laughing. Willow then remembered her interesting phone call, "Jake called the house. He was looking for Jay." She said frowning.

Both men stopped and looked up at Willow who shrugged, "He ended it kind of quick it sounded like he was being followed, I hope he's okay." Willow added looking up. Jay shrugged, "He should be, a day in the life of a superhero." Jay said with a wry smile. "What did he want?" Oz asked going back to his cords.

"He was trying to get in contact with Jay, when he heard Oz was with him he got worried about the fireworks you know, what with the 'grrr my pack' thingy." Willow said with a slight chuckle. Jay laughed, "That was a bit over dramatic wasn't it? Then again, it was staying true to my middle name." Jay said getting up from the floor, drum-set complete. Oz looked over at him, "You should call him man, this can wait." He said picking up a case from the corner and bringing it to the desk, he then opened it to reveal a dark blue vintage fender Gibson and pulled it out. Jay watched for a second, then nodded and dug his phone from his vest pocket. "I missed that one, the sound was always somehow…" Jay said motioning towards the electric guitar. Oz looked up and nodded, "Agreed, by far." He said sitting down with it.

Jay then walked up the stair and exited the basement again.

* * *

Jay got out in the fresh air and sighed as he waited for the phone to turn on. Finally he picked up the phone and pressed speed dial number three. It rang a few times and Jake picked up. "Jay man what's up with you where have you been?" Jake asked into the phone not bothering to say hi first. 

"I quit the monks. Then I came out to your cabin to help out Oz and Willow." Jay explained being frank. Jake whistled into the phone. "Ah they're gonna be on your ass man. There's a war coming up." He said finally. "Is it that bad?" Jay asked biting his lip and turning his back on the cabin to stare out into the sunny woods. "It's getting there. I suggest getting as far away as you can from Sunnydale." Jake said knowingly. "Can't man, got a bone to pick as well as some ally's behind enemy line." Jay said shaking his head. "Good luck with that. It'll be brutal." Jake said grimly. "What do you got going right now?" Jay asked hoping to get some firepower on his side. "Not much, C.W.s phoned a week ago looking for fire power, told them to wait. I wanted to talk to you first." Jake commented. "Good. Cut all contact and move somewhere. I don't need you hurt as well man." Jay said frowning. "Little late, I got their goons on my ass now, they want to know if I can get the weops." Jake explained. "Is that who you were attacked by?" Jay asked, his mind reeling.

"Yeah, they're getting kind of violent, I wanted to check with you first but I got some malfunctioning stuff, the electricity is off, if the gun gets wet, you get 4000 volts going through your body shall I hook them up with those?" Jake asked with a grin. "That could be good, especially with a witch on our side, can you make more?" Jay asked. "Yeah, but you can't be thinking about going against them man, they're a force man, like a cult or something." Jake said frowning.

"We're going to be needing some uh, non faulty weapons too man, this fight's not looking too pretty now." Jay said biting his lip. "You got it man, but I got one question." Jake stated. "What are you doing training a new wolf at a time like this?" Jake asked. Jay sighed, "This girl is something, as a wolf she's the strongest thing I've ever seen; that and Oz really cares about her, she can be a valuable asset to the effort." Jay tried to explain.

"Alright man. I got yah." Jake said shaking his head. "Jake I need you to do one more thing." Jay said thinking of the people he left at the front line. "You know me man, I'm with you, slightly confused, but with you." Jake said with a chuckle. "I need you here in California." Jay said relaying the information on how to get to the Summer's house all the while hating the fact he had to plan this himself. "Who am I meeting here Jay, do they know about demons and junk? I wanna be able to take my damn coat off." Jake asked sounding skeptical.

"The slayer and a few others, they'll be quite understanding I think; they gotta ex-demon and a vamp with a soul on their side man, the only problem I got is they have no idea what they are going into." Jay said shaking his head. "You know who it is right?" Jay asked. "Yeah, Blade's back, how's Oz taking it?" Jake asked, his voice filling with concern. "No, he doesn't know yet, I was going to tell him but he needs to be able to focus on what he's doing here, I need to tell him now though. It wouldn't be fair to keep him in the dark anymore. But I'm worried, the reason we couldn't get in contact with him was because he was the wolf full-time for one and a half years." Jay said trying to explain. "That's not good is it?" Jake asked. "No, but he's coping okay, I think. He's always hid it pretty good." Jay said slightly confused.

"You better make sure you tell him, he needs to know, but he also needs to be sane." Jake said frowning. "That's a lot to put on my plate buddy." Jay said a headache beginning to creep onto his temple. "I know, but it's crutial especially with all this junk going down." Jake commented dully. "Alright, see who you can round up and get down to that address, we need all the help we can get." Jay said changing the subject. "Ight man, you got it, what ever you need." Jake agreed. "Cudos." Jay said hanging up.

As he hung up his phone rang again, Jay checked the display and there was nothing there. So naturally he picked up. "Yellow?" he asked in the phone. "Jason." Came a steely voice on the end of the line. Jay rolled his eyes at his full name. "Yeah, that's what they call me." Jay said wondering who it was. "You're in trouble Jason. You picked the wrong side and if you don't show your face in this town with the murderer soon bad things will happen to the innocents." The voice Jay finally recognized as Blade.

Jay hung up, he didn't want to hear anymore. He then turned off his phone and threw it into the forest. "Fuck!" He kicked the ground in front of him creating a wet cloud of dirt. He took a few minutes to calm down as he paced in front of the cabin, wishing he had the courage to tell Oz what the hell was happening. He would have to now, after tonight, he decided.

He started walking towards the forest and then remembered he had left Oz and Willow waiting. He cursed again, attempting to calm down. He had about one night to train a noob and tell his best friend the one who killed the love of his life that he's back to finish his job.

* * *

As they waited for Jay to return, which was taking a while; Willow continued listening to the disks she had found by the band and Oz tuned his guitar. When the song changed Willow frowned, it was rap. "This isn't Sasha or Jay, who is this?" Willow asked, Oz looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Forgot about this disk, this one has some Jake on it, he likes rap. He was our bass. He also did covers by Queen and the Bee Jees. It sounded great but he absolutely wouldn't do it unless he was hammered." Oz said with a wistful look at his computer. 

Willow gave him a questioning glance but said nothing. Jay came back down the stairs, his face was red like he had been running but he smiled and held up his medical bag. "I forgot about covering those stitches" He said in a choked voice. He walked over to Willow and took a look at her face. "Where'd the cut go?" He asked moving some hair. Willow smiled. "The shower did wonders." She repeated.

She looked over at Oz who was smiling slightly. "What did Jake say?" Oz asked looking over at Jay hoping to change the subject. Jay paled, he wasn't a good liar and he knew it so he changed the subject again, "Are we going stay chatting or play?" He asked tossing his bag to the side and walking over to his drums and sitting down. Oz gave his friend a questioning glance but hopped up with his guitar and pick ready.

"My song." Jay said starting off with the drums. Willow stared and turned off the other music again excited about hearing them live; even if they were missing 2 band members.

The room was full of golden sunlight and the music was low in the beginning. Oz weaved his pick through the familiar riffs of the song he wrote not so long ago. Wondering why the hell he hadn't played in so long. Thinking about the time he spent wandering through the forest wondering about things like territory in those parts. Then remembering the dreams he had had sleeping under the trees. About Sasha at first and then about Willow.

_He forced his body to change back the pain rippled through his body 5 times the amount it was supposed to. The wolf fought back with viciousness. Knowing that going back would only bring on more mental torment. _

_But he had to if he didn't she would be in danger. When he finally finished the transformation he shook, all his human emotions coming back to the surface. Where the hell was he, how long had he been gone. Seeing out of his eyes had seemed so foreign the colours were different the contrast had changed. His body was like speaking a foreign language. There was nothing familiar in the forest anymore. It was so hard to breath._

Oz shook his head from the memories of the past and allowed them to melt away through his music. He glanced over at Jay who looked like he was thinking hard, and then at Willow who's eyes were shining as she watched him play, he gave her a smile and glanced over at Jay it was soon his cue for vocals.

_He got up from the forest floor on wobbly legs, legs that hadn't been used in, well, he wasn't sure how long, his brain was still trying to process this new information. He closed his eyes as another spasim of pain shot through his body, flashes of the wolf pooled through his brain as he fought to stay in this form._

_It took a while before he even remembered who he was as a man, and why he now was in a different form. He opened his eyes again and the light burnt his eyes and he let out a shuttering sigh. _

_He was cold. Colder then he was before he looked down and found his pale hairless body looking up at him. It was so funny, he thought suddenly. Why was he standing in a forest? How did he get here? Where were his clothes? Clothes, tee-shirts and stuff, they kept you warm. Another chill swept down his spine there was less pain now his breathing still shuttered but he was cold, and shaking._

_He looked around again there was no one there,_ _nothing before him but trees. Maybe he was looking for someone, someone with sympathetic eyes to tell him it was alright, not to be afraid. His brain kicked into action after that thought, he didn't deserve sympathy, not after what he did, after that it would never be all right. He would never be all right. _

The song started and Oz was pulled out of thought as Jay's voice added to the noise, it quite at first but it got louder. He realized suddenly how fitting it would be for tonight and got absorbed.

_**Thanks readers! This should help explain chapters two and three. You all get gold stars, apologies again for the boring chap. The next one should be kick ass with excitement so it should make up for resent about the un happenings. PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me what you think. Flame me for all I care, ALL I WANT IS IMPUT! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey readers! Fast update huh? Must have reached a speed record there. (( checks stop watch))I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! Today was the last day of school for me as well as the 1 year anniversary of LUNAR PHASES! Yes… I started this fic one year ago thinking it would be all of 2 chapters and totally non complicated… o how wrong was I? Now it's one of my life's obsessions and making it's way quickly to the top of my list. This however is a bad thing… I have about 5 other fics I've been totally IGNORING and people are getting pissed. BUT ALL IS GOOD BECAUSE I HAVE TIME, 2 MONTHS OF FREEDOM HERE I COME!**_

_**I ALSO MUST THANK MY REVIEWERS AND BETA ! THEY MADE ME KEEP WRITING EVEN IF I HAVE EXAMS AND SHOULD REALLY BE STUDING… THANK YOU FOR HELPING THE STUPID TEXTBOOKS NOT TURN MY BRAIN TO MUSH! ((TAKES OUT ICECREAM AND TOSSES AT WONDERFUL SHINY REVIEWERS/ EVERGREEN-BABY))**_

_**DISCLAIMER: There once was a man named Joss, he was always the head boss… he created a copyright and a plot and now he is making money. I however am a lonely serf in Joss land and do not own one smidgen of his money or plot… but am borrowing it for my own unworthy devices and pleasure. I OWN, JAY, SASHA, JAKE, AND THE COMPLETE DUMB ASS BLADE. So there, nuhnuhnuh!**_

_**I also don't own or profit off anything written or owned by the band COUNTING CROWS or the song 'ROUND HERE' however good that song may be. I COWER BEFORE THE BAND'S MIGHTY GAZE… **_

_**Whispers in a small voice: please don't sue, I'm so poor I can't even afford a nickel… **_

_**WITHOUT FURTHER ADU:**_

**Chapter 8: Dropping The Bomb.**

_Later that night…_

Willow was now feeling that tingling feeling more than ever; it was everywhere, between her fingers and behind her ears. She knew what to expect now and was less afraid. Not really calmer though, Jay had told her not to fight it at all that night, just to watch and not to panic. This would prove difficult, that went without saying. It also proved almost impossible, she couldn't help it, it was instinct by now, but she would try; she thought to herself squaring her jaw.

She was worried about Jay, ever since he had gotten off the phone he had been quiet, _well_, she thought biting her lip; _quiet for Jay_. She started wondering what the phone call could have been about. It was eating at her slowly and she finally decided to confront him about it. She was starting to get worried.

Jay came back into the room; he had been waking up Oz who had decided to take a nap before the change. Willow had done so too, only to wake up an hour later covered in a cold sweat, the tingling in her fingers pulling her back from a deep sleep. She had gotten up to find Jay pacing the kitchen and taken the tea he had offered along with the same herbs she had last night.

When she caught Jay's eyes he smiled slightly and told her Oz would be out in a few. Willow nodded and was quiet for a second before motioning towards the porch. Jay frowned but followed her out the door. When the door was completely closed she asked, "Can Oz hear us from here? Even if he tried?"

Jay frowned and shook his head looking thoroughly confused "If we talk quietly he won't, but why?" Jay asked taking up a lawn chair and motioning for Willow to do the same. "What's up?" Willow asked though she already knew the answer already. Jay looked away his foot twitched. "Nothing." He said quietly.

"Ever since you talked to Jake you've been quieter. What happened." Willow asked trying hard not to pry too hard. Jay didn't say anything. "Is it Blade?" Willow asked in a whisper. Jay reeled around on her, wide-eyed. "How do you know?" He asked finally. Willow was caught off guard, she wasn't expecting this question, what was she supposed to say, her mind reeled; finally she blurted out "Buffy, I called Buffy."

Jay nodded it made sense. "Yeah, I sent Jake down to help out the Sunnydale crew, apparently Blade has pulled this into a full war." Jay said quietly. The heat of the situation coming back to him, and he glanced up towards Oz's window nervously. Willow nodded remembering how Oz had described Blade and hoping Buffy and the gang were safe.

Jay sighed and then decided to spill the rest. "Then I got a call from Blade himself, he said if we didn't get in town soon innocents were gonna die." He said even more quietly. Willow paled. "What about the others?" She blurted out. "Jake's bringing some people with him, that's all we can do with out the monks so far." Jay said only half-truthfully and giving her a wry smile. Willow nodded slightly more re-assured. "What about Oz?" She asked. "We have to tell him soon. Like tomorrow, I don't like leaving him un-aware but I don't know what he's going to do." Even as he spoke it the words felt so melancholy, Oz never acted un-rash, but he wasn't sure anymore. Not after Sasha died, not after being the wolf for so long.

Oz padded onto the porch holding a cup of juice, and glanced from one friend to the next sensing the tension, an eyebrow slowly went up and disappeared behind his blue hair. Jay smiled and motioned towards the seat behind him, but Oz shook his head and motioned towards the full moon, which was rising over the trees in the darkening sky. Jay wheeled around and faced Willow. She was sweating slightly and shaking a little but smiled at them both finally. Both men raised their eyebrows. Jay's breath caught, he had never seen someone so strong, well other than Sasha. "Go to the woods and stop fighting it, do what we talked about this afternoon." Jay said getting up, he couldn't believe he had forgotten the time.

Willow got up and gazed at the silver moon, it almost called to her, it was intoxicating. She got up and slowly as if floating walked towards the woods. The song that she had heard later that afternoon filled her ears as she tried to keep on her feet as the convulsions started, the trees swayed in the spicy night breeze and the dew on the grass wet her bare feet. She felt like she owned that place.

_Step out the front door like a ghost  
into the fog where no one notices  
the contrast of white on white.  
_

She felt almost delirious as the wolf fought with her rational mind and she slowly entered the woods. Her eyes swam and the pain started coming in waves, she wasn't sure where the boys were but, in that second it was only her and her demons one on one in the closed ring of her mind.

_And in between the moon and you  
the angels get a better view  
of the crumbling difference between wrong and right._

The line between life and death felt like a blur, although she knew she was now immortal it felt like death was coming and it loomed over her like a hungry lion. One only a wolf could bring down. Suddenly, her mind filled with images of Tara, hot tears welled up in the back of her eyes as another wave of pain hit. She staggered as she hit the forest floor.

_  
I walk in the air between the rain,  
through myself and back again.  
Where? I don't know  
Maria says she's dying.  
Through the door, I hear her crying  
Why? I don't know  
_

Oz and Jay watched from the porch both were temporarily speechless. "She really is a trooper isn't she?" Jay asked as he stared, he blinked and she had disappeared into the cover of the thick trees. Oz shook his head, "No kidding…" He said in a voice barely audible. Jay cocked his head in Oz's direction, he was wearing the barest of smiles his eyes were glittering. Jay recognized the smile and his brows shot up yet again.

_Round here we always stand up straight  
Round here something radiates_

Willow was sobbing now the pain was un-bearable. The forest floor was soft but twigs pinched her back in the most uncomfortable of places. She hardly took notice. She felt like pulling her heart out and ringing it out from all the un-spilt tears she had accumulated over the years, and now, especially now she missed Tara the most. Her body contorted and she heard bones snapping like twigs, hair started to grow, her jaw broke and elongated as her teeth burst through her gums. She yearned for the feather soft touch, her soft rose scented hands and her beautiful smile; Tara's beautiful smile. A lump rose in her throat and once again hot tears streaked down her cheeks. Her vertebrae spiked and cut through her skin and her hips moved until they faced the ground sweat dripped off her forehead and onto the forest floor her whole body shook and shone with perspiration against the risen moon. Suddenly the pain stopped.

_Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand  
She said she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis  
She walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land  
Just like she's walking on a wire in the circus  
She parks her car outside of my house,  
takes her clothes off,  
Says she's close to understanding Jesus  
She knows she's more that just a little misunderstood  
She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous_

She blinked a few times in an attempt to clear the blur. When that was gone all that remained was a dull ache. She glanced up at her hand, expecting to see just that; instead she saw a ginger paw, the size of a dinner plate. She gasped, or rather wheezed, her voice box was now so limited. There was nothing left to cry for now, she couldn't remember. She got off of the forest floor and a growl left her thick lips.

_Round here we're carving out our names  
Round here we all look the same  
Round here we talk just like lions  
But we sacrifice like lambs  
Round here she's slipping through my hands_

There was something different in the breeze that night something new. Smokey and spicy all the leaves fluttered in it calmly soothing the chill of the night. Birds fled the trees over head as Jay and Oz walked slowly and quietly through the peaceful woods. Well, they were peaceful for now. Oz thought with a wry smile. Jay glanced over at him from his right and chuckled softly, "Ready for another go?" He asked with a shake of his head, motioning towards where Willow entered the forest, he glanced down at Oz's wrist. Oz held it up, it was far less blue and looked just about normal for puffiness. "Not that you're going to listen to me or anything as smart as that, but try and keep off it will yah?" Jay said giving Oz a playful shove. Oz mock rolled his eyes before motioning for them to split up and begin the change.

_Sleeping children got to run like the wind  
Out of the lightning dream  
Mama's little baby better get herself in  
Out of the lightning_

Slowly the Willow wolf paced the clearing waiting for a change in scenery to come upon her, she could smell others, they were coming. Faster until she was a blur through the trees she made her way to the familiar scents. Running now entered the clearing she remembered from the previous night. There stood a male, a chocolate colour, a silver stripe gleamed across his chest and he snorted in her direction.

_She says, "It's only in my head."  
She says, "Shhh...I know it's only in my head."_

She snorted back and circled him for a second surveying her adversary, sizing him up. Finally, she deemed him worthy of being in her presence and moved on, if he was coming he would follow, never the other way around. It pleased her immensely when she heard his loud footsteps behind her following he back into the cover of the woods. She moved onto the next clearing a good 60 meters away and entered cautiously. In the center of that one lay a sandy coloured wolf, he was slightly smaller than her and the other male. A low growl entered her throat and echoed off the trees. The wolf got up with a start.

_  
But the girl on the car in the parking lot  
says: "Man, you should try to take a shot  
Can't you see my walls are crumbling."_

A growl escaped its mouth and she backpedaled a few feet in surprise, she was the ruler here and if she couldn't have that she might as well leave. **Stay.** She started again, what was that? She wondered, where had it come from? She sat down confused before she snorted and ran off. Why listen to that?

_Then she looks up at the building  
and says she's thinking of jumping.  
She says she's tired of life;  
she must be tired of something._

She heard the two just behind her as she flew through the woods, finally she stopped looking back to see the brown male right behind her and the Sandy coloured male trotting up from the bushes. Both wolves' tongues lolled from their mouths and the males cocked their heads playfully. She snorted again and with a swish of her feathery tail walked right in-between them and back from where she first came. She stopped all of a sudden when she caught a whiff of something different in the air. An animal, a, she sniffed again, a rabbit. Her stomach growled and she stalked after her prey. The males spread out behind her and watched covered both her flanks as she perused the smell of the rabbit. The food.

_Round here she's always on my mind  
Round here I got lots of time  
Round here we're never sent to bed early  
Nobody makes us wait  
Round here we stay up very very late_

Soon, she was right behind it and it hadn't even clued into her presence. Its white tail shone in the moonlight as she crawled in her belly silently even closer. The males did the same coming from both sides. She made sure both wouldn't bolt after her rabbit before running and pouncing. She missed by inches and ended up with a face full of old leaves. The brown male snorted softly and it shot after the rabbit, in hot pursuit. The sandy wolf however, lay down on the ground and watched lazily as the other male chased the rabbit down.

She waited licking her lips for a second before walking casually into the rabbits frantic path and scooping it up by the neck with her teeth. Casually, like it was the 100th time, she tore it's throat out. Sounded brutal, but it was fast, the rabbit probably felt nothing.

The brown male skidded to a halt and cocked his head, his tongue lolled out and he sat down in front of her and the other male and waited for his shot at the meat. The sandy male got up and left the scene before coming back moments later with his own kill. Another rabbit.

After they had finished their bloody meal the sandy coloured wolf left once again and came back at a jog. He then took a leap into the air and landed on her back, she let out a low growl before flipping him over and pinning him down, the tussle happened for a few more minutes before they both felt an overwhelming weight flop on top of them with a victorious grunt. The chocolate coloured wolf had joined in the fun. Now all three of them raced through the trees taunting each other with flicks of a tail beyond the closest tree and racing there to find nothing but a wolf ready to pounce.

Soon they tired and settled in together for the rest of the night.

* * *

Oz Stared up at the clear night sky, if he was guessing correctly it was around 4:00 in the morning, a smirk crossed his face, _the witching hour_. He glanced over at the two sleeping wolves beside him and a genuine smile swept onto his face. He turned back over and stared back up to the sky, a big gray cloud wisped slowly across the deep blue, star dotted oblivion. Somehow this always filled him with comfort.

Leaves whispered to themselves as warm spicy breeze tickled through his blue hair and lifted each leaf from its place on a branch far above him. The brook just behind them babbled as the clean clear water passed over the pebbles on the bottom. Somewhere up in the canopy of trees and owl hooted and took off with a light flap. Even though most people were asleep life went on un disrupted by politics and war, pollution was just a word in the dictionary for Oz right now, it meant nothing

He felt happy, and for the first time in a long time he felt completely content with his life. For the first time in what felt like ages, even with the overwhelming pain in his chest every time he took in breath didn't even bother him; let alone fill him with regret about how he acquired said pain.

He heard a soft moan and turned to see the Willow wolf turning over slightly, her legs twitched with dreams of the run. Chasing some un-seen foe. Oz's stomach did a summersault and hummed pleasantly. It was a familiar feeling, one he wasn't used to having after Sasha's death. The kind of quivering anxiety that made his heart skip every time she spoke, or if he caught her scent in the air.

He still loved her, he had always loved her, if she was with him or not. Maybe not with the same volume, or on the same level, but he had always loved her, be it a friend or a partner. This however, didn't and never would mean that he had forgotten about Sasha, she would always remain in his heart, looking over his shoulder, he would never forget her. She was his true love, the one stolen from his grasp. He closed his eyes and let out a painful sigh.

He felt like he was going explode, he loved Willow, he knew that, looking at her, even now in wolf form she was making his stomach flop. Her dark red/ginger coat gleamed in the starlight, her eyelids fluttered as she dreamed, white highlights in her fur shone like the veins in an ebony stone. But Sasha's memory clung to him like a tight embrace, making his every move a cautious one. He was devoted to her on a means more than what life could throw at him. A wolf mated for life, and Sasha had been the only one he had ever associated that with.

Even as he thought this his feelings about Willow blinded him. All the emotion he had felt about her was coming back full force. He wanted so desperately to forget all that had happened the past five-ish years and go back to his high school sweet heart. However, he knew better and his mind wouldn't allow him to be tricked by his heart. She was different; she had changed, lost the one she loved as he had. He wasn't even sure if she was feeling the same way and yet. That night looking over at her, he couldn't seem to find the energy to care. Laying on his back staring up at the stars, a blanket of peace fell across him and it seemed to him that he had no cares in the world.

Jay let out a snort beside him and groaned as he rolled over onto his back. Willow shivered slightly despite the warm night and the large coat a wiry fur; the visions filling her sleep still seemed to bring a chill to her that even the wolf couldn't remedy. Oz glanced around for something to cover her with but the search proved fruitless, finally he gave into temptation and lay down beside her. His body heat would have to do. He was still worried about her, nonetheless she was doing exceedingly well.

* * *

The distant sound of a cell phone woke Jay up from a deep sleep. He groaned as he rolled over. He was sprawled belly up on his back naked staring up at overcast sky white clouds made up a blanket for the sky overhead. He glanced over to his right, only to see two other naked bodies lying beside him. Willow was curled up, using Oz's chest as a pillow. A smiled crossed his face as he thought about how they would get out of that sticky situation when they awakened. Slowly he sat up and rubbed his head, shaking the leaves off the backside and was stirred out of lesbian/best friend scenarios from another ring of his cell phone.

He sighed, however much he wanted to be around to see them wake up; he knew that he should fear the wrath of two groggy people woken up by the sound of a ring tone that just happened to be 'Stacy's Mom.'

He got up slowly and trudged towards his clothes. He picked up his pants and shook them off before going into his back pocket and taking out his phone. He flipped it open with one hand and used the other to pull on his pants.

"Hello?" He asked into the phone, he tried to stay quiet and trekked even farther into the woods to avoid waking up the 'couple'. The phone sounded like it was fumbled with and turned picked up. "Jay?" An angry voice snarled.

"That's my name. Who am I talking to?" Jay asked slightly confused. He heard the sound of a bottle falling and the person on the other line swore. "Spike?" Jay asked recognizing the accent. "Who the bloody hell did you think you were talking to? The queen of bloody England perhaps?" Spike slurred drunkenly, the line buzzed and crackled.

"Is something wrong?" Jay asked cautiously. An angry laugh that turned into a cough sent static through the phone. "You never told us this was going to be a fucking war wolf boy." Came the growl of an answer, obviously, he was very drunk and really pissed. "What happened?" Jay asked concerned and trying to get an answer. "They got her. They took her and now she's gone, it's your fault." Spike snarled, his speech slurring even more as Jay heard him pick up the bottle again and take another swig.

Jay reeled. "Who? Who did they get?" He asked hoping to god it wasn't one of the scoobies. "They got Buffy!" Spike choked. A sob was let loose from Spike's throat, Jay heard the bottle shatter and the line went dead. Jay dropped the phone and it fell to the ground with a light thunk. _Not again, I promised never again._ That's when he noticed Oz and Willow standing on the edge of the clearing. Both were pale and Willow had tears in her eyes. They had heard everything.

"Who's got Buffy?" Oz asked stepping forward, his face looked ashen against the dark green of the trees. He was wearing only a pair of baggy jeans. Willow was in an extra long tee shirt; her hand went up to her mouth slowly.

Jay looked away, he froze, he couldn't do it, he couldn't tell his best friend the truth when it was staring him in the face. He was a coward. "What war?" Oz questioned further his eyes darkening slightly and he turned on Willow now, who was still utterly stunned.

"Blade." Jay finally spoke up, he raised his chin slightly with all the will he had in his body and looked into Oz's eyes; they darkened fully for a split second before he started walking towards the cabin, "Explain on the way there. We'll take the van." He muttered, as he walked, ran his hand through his hair.

Willow didn't have to see his face to know that it was falling apart. She could smell it in the air, see it in his body language and feel it in her heart. She glanced over at Jay who was sheet pale, his mouth hung open and he started to jog to catch up to Oz, who was already half way towards the van. Willow followed hesitantly, biting her nails, and she thought she had gotten rid of that habit. But, Willow glanced up at Oz, who had his face in his hands; old habits had a way of coming back.

_**THERE YOU ARE! Short and cliffhanger-ie! Oh how you people must loath me… I guess I shouldn't have told you guys that I was going to make this chapter longer then decided to leave you all in suspense… Oh and I thought after the last LOOOOONNNNGGGGG chapter you might need a chapter you guys can all read in one sitting… ((Apologizes profusely)) tell me what you think gimme ideas or discuss this chapter in general… INPUT MAKES ME HAPPY!review… blueish/purple box left hand side ((points)) **_

_**CUDOS**_

**_W-B-D :)_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey all! Back once again… ahh this chapter we leave the forest! This makes me excited, because no matter how much I love and miss writing wolves in the forest and hello half naked Oz and Jay in the forest! I have so many ideas running around my head for how this thing will play out I feel like I'm going to explode. Good for you. Bad for my head.**_

_**I do have a question for those of you who are seasoned on as I am. Everyone who has read this fic knows the first chapter's spacing SUCKS, it's driving me crazy. Does anyone know if I can replace that chapter with-out having to replace the whole fic, cause I haven't saved the chapters separately and it wouldn't be worth fixing the first chapter if I had to re-post anything. Does anyone know if I can JUST replace the first chapter. If you do can you review or message me?**_

**_DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, it makes me sad, so I continue to write. This makes me happy although not rich. Which sucks. I also don't own anything to do with the band Creed, including lyrics and the song 'My Own Prision.'_**

_**I OWN JAY, SASHA, JAKE AND THE VILLIAN! They are also not making me any money, cause they are fictional. That's what the lawyers told me to say… in my own words… -glances behind her shoulder at stern looking lawyers- yeah, they got my back. **_

_**THANKS AGAIN TO THE REVIEWERS AND MY WONDERFUL FRIEND AND BETA, EVERGREEN-BABY! YOU GUYS MAKE THIS AUTHER SOOO HAPPY!**_

_**CHAPTER 9: WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS.**_

They didn't even bother packing up before they left, they just got in the van, half naked, and it didn't matter anymore. Willow was only wearing a T-shirt, no bottoms and nothing underneath. The ride was silent for at least a mile. The clouds overhead loomed like gray giants as they drove. It was so quiet, so surreal, so fragmented. Oz waited until he got to the interstate before he spoke up. "What's happening?" he asked finally. He didn't even bother taking his eyes off the road; Willow's heart sank.

Jay explained the situation, slowly, with as much detail as he could give without making himself feel uncomfortable. Which was more than enough to make Willow uncomfortable and Oz numb with emotion. He understood the reasoning behind not telling him, but he was mad. There was nothing he would have given for the feeling from the night before to comeback, freedom, wholeness, his heart soaring. He was however, disappointed, disappointed about letting himself get so carried away; so carried away that his best friend wouldn't trust him to have told him about this sooner. Then he remembered the monks.

The monks, the ones that had started all this shit from the beginning. He couldn't believe people could do that to the ones loyal to them. They were so strict with their policies that they took in a killer as their own and rehabilitated him to full health so that he could reap havoc on the world once more. Oz sat and simmered for a long time in silent thought. Jay and Willow stayed quiet in the back, not knowing what to say to make Oz more comfortable. Oz pulled over, they needed food, and gas. The change always left them deprived of energy and he knew everyone would have to eat soon. They pulled into a gas station and both Jay and Oz got out. Willow stayed inside and searched around for a pair of pants. Oz looked over at Jay and nodded for him to go inside and buy some food, while he pumped gas.

Willow watched both men head off to their respectable duties. Both were only wearing jeans. Jay's tattoos were in full view, she had noted them before and pondered what they meant but now they were just another piece of skin. She was so numb. Jay was having a hard time; the clerk at the counter of the shop was motioning profusely at the sign above the door reading 'No Shirt, No Shoes No Service' Jay turned towards her and winked before going back to the clerk and Willow frowned. She then began scrambling around the back of the van until she found a pair of Oz's old jeans in a heap in one of the corners. They smelt clean enough and she pulled them on before entering the passenger's seat and waiting patiently for Oz to finish pumping the gas. When he had the pump in the tank he turned away to check to see how Jay was doing with the food and Willow's breath caught.

There lay the physical reminder of the last battle Oz had fought with Blade. Scars criss-crossed his entire back, they were huge, in the shape of a whip, and some were circles, gashes long healed that had sunk deep into his flesh. Willow couldn't believe what she was seeing, never had she seen scars this extensive and her mind reeled with ideas of spells that she could use to aid the disfiguring abrasions. Her heart lurched at the sight she might have seen if those wounds were fresh. She then did something she hadn't done in almost eight years. She prayed, she prayed to God, she prayed to the Goddess, she prayed to anyone that would listen. She prayed that Buffy would be alright and that she wouldn't be tortured the way Oz was until she got to them.

She glanced down at the studded bracelets that he had yet to take off and shuddered, he had changed so much in the time she was with Tara. Was he starting to feel the same way about her that she was feeling about him? It wouldn't work, not now, not after Blade had made his return to finish the job. But he wasn't going to get the chance this time; at least she hoped.

Oz's chest shuttered for a second and he coughed, hard. He covered it up quickly but Willow heard the weakness in his lungs. His chest heaved and his body shook. She could see the pain he was in and yet she could do nothing with out acknowledging the fact that she could see it.

Oz turned around and when he saw her pale face, gave her a weak smile before pulling out the nozzle and placing it back on the pump. Jay came back with a jog, almost spilling the three coffees and breakfast sandwiches as he dodged the pumps and trucks that were pulled into the gas station. "Back, are we all finished?" He asked handing around coffees. "Yeah." Oz said running a hand through his hair and walking over to the passenger's side. Willow slid out and allowed both men to get in. They were just about to head out again when Jay's phone rang yet again.

Oz gave Jay a look as he picked up his phone. "Yeah?" Jay asked into the phone, sounding exasperated. It was Jake. "We have a bit of a situation man." Jake answered. "No kidding Jake." Jay said in a low voice. "Blade took a hostage." Jake explained. "I know; we're on our way." Jay said shaking hair out of his eyes as he held the phone to his ear. "You do realize there's one more lunar phase to go yet, right?" Jake asked referring to Willow's change; not the least bit surprised.

Jay glanced over at Willow and Oz in the front seat; both were listening intently before nodding. "Yeah, but you guys need us there." He said with a sigh. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you know before I called?" Jake asked. "Spike gave us an eleven am drunken wake-up call." Jay supplied. "Shit. He hasn't left his room since they got back. I arrived and no one was here. He's pretty broken up." Jake explained. "Keep up moral, I know that's not normally your suit but we're four hours away." Jay said glancing up at the two in the front seat again. Jake agreed reluctantly.

"Any luck on getting more people up there?" Jay asked, changing the subject. "Not really, none of the C.W.'s would talk to me, I flashed Faith here this morning, and Nika and Cray wanted to help but they were in a jail in Singapore. They said they would get out of there A.S.A.P. Don't ask about the whole jail thing. Let's just say Cray was pissed and Mike had already started to hack the system." Jake explained, Jay could almost see him cracking his knuckles with restlessness.

"Damn, I was hoping they could get out here." Jay said realizing once again how out numbered they were. "No kidding, I offered to flash them out but the phone cut before they could tell me where they were." Jake was interrupted by a loud crash and Jay told him he should go and they both hung up. Jay threw his phone into the back of the van, where it broke in half and then cursed, he then glanced up at the two in the front who were giving him severe looks, before digging into his sandwich. Oz started the van and they were off again, speeding down the interstate to get to the 'Dale'.

They ate in silence as rain started to fall from the cloudy sky. Soon Willow was lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sound of the wiper blades.

* * *

When she woke up Jay was shaking her shoulder gently. "Sorry Will, but we're here." He said softly. Oz looked over Jay's shoulder and smiled slightly as well. "Xander's here." Oz added. Willow yawned and nodded sitting up slightly, it took a few seconds before the blur of sleep escaped her eyes and she could see regularly again. She was in the back of the van, the rain had stopped and sunlight was beginning to break through the clouds.

Xander had the sliding door of the van open and was smiling. God it was so good to see him. She jumped up and gave him a big hug. "Hey," she whispered. "How are you?" Xander asked his eyes filling with concern. "Okay. How are you?" Willow asked pulling back and wiping some stray tears from her eyes.

"Hanging in there Will." Xander answered frankly. Willow nodded. "Hey guys!" He added with a wave to both Oz and Jay, who both nodded in return. "Where's Jake?" Oz asked looking around. "Oh yeah! He's uhh, hanging out." Xander said with a frown. He pointed to the backyard, he then lead the way and they followed him into the yard.

Willow was used to things hanging from the large tree in Xander's backyard, bras, beer cans, Mr. Harris's entire wardrobe, but never a person. There hanging tied up from the tree upside-down was a person, a sleeping person. Well he appeared to be sleeping. "What the…?" Willow stopped when the guys eyes opened.

He had yellow, blond shoulder length hair that was hanging over his head held back only by a black, corduroy 'paper boy' cap. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his pale chest was slightly muscled and was regularly built. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and was wrapped up in a rope attached to the tree above.

Jay walked over looked him over and then exclaimed, "What the hell Jake!" he asked. Apparently hanging from a tree wasn't a regular occurrence for the blond. "What? I'm the hostage, we're practicing." He stated with a shrug. "And you failed to tell them you could get out of that quite easily?" Oz asked raising an elegant eyebrow and stepping beside his friend. "Well, _now_ they know." Jake proposed a smirk spread across his face.

His eyes were greenish hazel one had some blue in it. "Get down from there." Jay said shaking his head and backing up. Jake eyed Willow wearily, "She's good right?" he asked. "Yes Jake, she should be fine with it. Maybe if you stopped making a big deal about it we could just get on with it, hmm?" Jay asked cocking an eyebrow at his friend.

Jake sighed and there was a shuffling sound from behind his back and then a loud snap as the ropes snapped and Willow almost had the wind knocked out of her. Wings. Huge, charcoal black, feathery, angel wings. They were at least two and a half meters on each side.

He landed on his feet and tucked his wings in behind his back before walking over to her and giving her a once over, apparently seeing her lack of bra. "I believe we've met already on the phone, I'm Jake." He said with slight exasperation as if he wasn't used to niceties. Willow shook her head in an attempt to clear it and took his hand with a warm smile. "Nice to meet you in person." She said lightly. They shook hands and stepped back.

They were then interrupted by Dawn, Giles and Faith came around from the corner of the house; all of them were armed with cross bows. Greetings ensued.

Faith walked straight over to Jay, a smile wiped over her face as she inspected his bare chest. "Hey, nice to see you again." She commented, not bothering to look up at his face. "Nothing you haven't seen before Faith." Jay said shaking his head, hair fell into his eyes.

Willows eyes followed Faiths to Jays skinny, very well defined torso. She could see why girls found him hot. His abs looked like they had been chiseled by gods. He was tall, dark eyed, and sported gorgeous naturally curly, mahogany hair. "Speaking of which, we should go get changed." Willow said looking down at her oversized blue and yellow T-shirt and jeans made for someone that was male and four inches shorter than she was.

"Yeah, it looks like you all had a rough night." Dawn said an eyebrow rising. Faith, Jake and Jay all laughed. "We did, just not the way you're implying." Jay said between chuckles. Oz looked over towards Xander, "Can I borrow some clothes man?" He asked. Xander nodded and lead the way. Willow glanced over at Dawn, who nodded as well and they both followed Xander and Oz.

Jay glanced over at Jake who laughed, "Forget it, everything I got is way too big for you." He said pulling on a denim jacket, it covered his wings and it made his back look humped. Jay sighed and went back to the van.

"So this is what it's come to? You and me the fashion re-jects." Jake said looking over at Faith. "Speak for yourself plus size, they can't handle these digs." Faith said showing off her skin tight, leather pants, denim jacket and painfully low tank top. "Who are you calling plus size? if I were to be wingless I would be a small." Jake drawled with a scowl. Faith snorted.

* * *

Oz had been slightly surprised to be the one voted on to go and talk to Spike, he barely knew the guy, even less, he didn't know him on the side of the light. Things once again had changed. He knew they could use another pair of fangs in this shit but he wasn't sure he wanted to be the one to find the bleach blond vamp.

Oz sighed and walked down the stairs of Xander's house and into the basement, and came face first into a locked door. He was very aware they were at Xander's house instead of Buffy's; Blade apparently knew where that was. The whole town had left once again, it was so normal for everyone to just pack up and get out of town. Oz wasn't even sure if they were fully aware of what was happening, they just left, without a word and that was fine by him.

He suddenly felt very weary of what was behind the door. Spike; the second vampire with a soul and now a broken heart. He hadn't left the basement since Buffy had been taken and from the sound of his voice on the phone, he had drowned his sorrows in as much hard liquor as he could get his hands on.

Oz understood the feeling; Spike was going through the same thing he had been going through with Sasha. Well, he wasn't sure if Buffy and Spike's relationship was at the same level as his had been with Sasha, but he was sure Spike was in some kind of torment. He had been more than a little surprised when Willow had informed him of their relationship, but again, lots of things had changed since he had last been in Sunnydale.

He didn't bother knocking, not with someone like that; he would probably be turned away before he could get a word in edgewise. Contrary to certain beliefs, he was weary of the vampire as well as the mess he might find him in. He reached out and turned the doorknob, he felt the lock stop his progress and with a tight twist of his wrist broke through. Werewolf strength had its perks, until you put too much grip on the ketchup bottle and it promptly exploded on you.

He opened the door and was hit with the heavy scent of whiskey; lots of whiskey and cigarette smoke. Careful not to let the waning daylight into the room Oz slipped in, blinking a few times in order for his eyes to adjust. Spike was sitting in a corner, his head was down and he had a half empty bottle of amber whiskey in one hand. In the corner was a pile of broken glass Oz linked to the sounds on the phone. Needless to say the glass had once been more liquor.

A lit cigarette was balanced precariously on a dresser above his head the smoke snaked up to the ceiling of the almost black room. Spike didn't even seem to notice Oz as he walked in. Music played softly in the backround, _Creed. _Oz thought glumly. "Spike?" he asked seemingly unsure into the dark room.

Spike looked up and raised his eyebrows slightly; he blinked a few times as if trying to match the face. "Wolfboy?" he asked finally, his voice cracking. A slow amused smile crossed his face, although his eyes remained blank. "Thought they'd send Red down here." He added taking a long swig of whiskey before looking back up. Oz watched as the vampire drank expertly, leaving the alcohol in his mouth long enough to feel the burn before it slid like butter down his throat.

_A court is in session, a verdict is in  
No appeal on the docket today  
Just my own sin  
The walls are cold and pale  
The cage made of steel  
Screams fill the room  
Alone I drop and kneel  
Silence now the sound  
My breath the only motion around  
Demons cluttering around  
My face showing no emotion  
Shackled by my sentence  
Expecting no return  
Here there is no penance  
My skin begins to burn_

Oz just watched, before long Spike looked up again and their eyes met. Spike's eyes went back to the floor in shame. "I was supposed to be there. To protect her. To keep her safe to make her feel like she was safe with me. I was helpless and couldn't do anything but watch them take her away. I made a promise to keep her safe forever and they just ripped that promise away like it was nothing at all." He croaked silent tears sliding down his face.

_(And I said oh) So I held my head up high  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
(And I said oh) We're all held captive  
Out from the sun  
A sun that shines on only some  
We the meek are all in one_

Oz was taken aback, never in a million years had he ever thought that he would watch a vampire cry, out of shame. "Been there man." Oz stated trying to find a way out of the room, he was very uncomfortable. Spike looked up and cocked a scarred eyebrow. Oz mentally sighed. He was going to have to tell the story yet again. He could see no other way out of it; well other than running, the way Spike was looking at him, that maybe an option yet.

_I hear a thunder in the distance  
See a vision of a cross  
I feel the pain that was given  
On that sad day of loss  
A lion roars in the darkness  
Only he holds the key  
A light to free me from my burden  
And grant me life eternally_

Oz allowed himself to get absorbed by the music before beginning to tell his story, once again. Spike listened quietly, not interrupting. Oz was thankful for that. He had to stop a few times, especially when he came to what happened in Blade's compound. He knew what Spike was thinking, and Oz thought with a sinking feeling, soon the story may repeat it'self again. He could have thrown up right there, in the darkness of the room.

_Should have been dead  
On a Sunday morning  
Banging my head  
No time for mourning  
Ain't got no time_

When Oz had finished the room remained silent for a second and Oz looked up Spike was staring at him incredulously. "Bloody hell…" Spike mumbled. "Yeah," Oz agreed quietly. "We have to get her out of there!" Spike exclaimed looking panicked, he tried to scramble up but ended up back on the floor. "I couldn't agree more." Oz said quietly, he had started to doubt whether or not they had the power to get her out. There was one way, he thought slowly…

_(And I said oh) So I held my head up high  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
(And I said oh) We're all held captive  
Out from the sun  
A sun that shines on only some  
We the meek are all in one_

"You need to fill me in on what happened." Oz added finally. Spike nodded and picked up his smoke from the dresser and taking a drag. Before resting it in his hand. Oz wished he wouldn't, it stank. With his extra smelling capability it was even worse. Finally Spike let out a shuddering sigh and snubbed out the smoke on the windowsill above his head. "Buffy, Xander, Bit and I were out patrolling, east cemetery… erm, Sunnyside; I think. It doesn't matter. Bit was arguing with Buffy about a drivers license or something when I caught scent of about four vampires. It was like any other night really. Until things went wrong." Spike stopped apparently trying to remember what happened next.

_I cry out to God  
Seeking only his decision  
Gabriel stands and confirms  
I've created my own prison  
I cry out to God  
Seeking only his decision  
Gabriel stands and confirms  
I've created my own prison  
_

"We were jumped, one landed on my back and hit me with a shovel. It wasn't a vampire though, it was a wolf. It had me pinned on the ground before the rest found out about the attack. Xander took Dawn and ran while Buffy held the rest off. I managed to get the wolf off my back and got into it as well. We did as well as could be expected armed with only a stake. But they all rushed at me and while I was fighting one of them knocked Buffy out and carried her away. I tried to get her back but I couldn't there were too many."

_(And I said oh) So I held my head up high  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
(And I said oh) We're all held captive  
Out from the sun  
A sun that shines on only some  
We the meek are all in one_

Oz nodded, "Understandable." D Oz searched Spike's face, guilt was predominate over the rest of his feelings and Oz could smell the unease coming off him in waves even through the booze and cigarette smoke. He had never felt such emotion coming off a vampire before. It was surprising to say the least. Anger picked away at his insides once more. How could someone so insignificant make so much pain.

_(And I said oh) So I held my head up high  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
(And I said oh) We're all held captive  
Out from the sun  
A sun that shines on only some  
We the meek are all in one  
_

"Is there a plan yet?" Spike croaked looking up into Oz's eyes. Oz shook his head. "Everyone is tired, we need to have a meeting and plan there, They're all kind of spread out right now." Oz said getting up from the floor and heading slowly for the door. "The sun should be going down soon, so we should probably round everyone up before that. Willow's gonna change again tonight." He added. Spike shook his head, "How is she doing?" He asked. "Good." Oz answered cocking his eyebrow in the vampire's direction. Spike ignored the eyebrow with a flick of his hand and got up. They both headed for the door to go round up the troops once again.

_Should've been dead on a Sunday morning  
banging my head  
No time for mourning  
Ain't got no time…_

* * *

Willow walked through Xander's house, wondering what she was going to do with herself. She could feel the moon on it's way to the sky above. She could hear Dawn crying in the room upstairs and Xander pacing around the room beside Dawn's stopping every once and a while. Giles was doing what he did best, researching as much as he could about Blade himself. Anya was out getting supplies.

Finally she decided on going upstairs to go see everyone. She wasn't sure what she was going to do once she got there but she needed someone around. She longed to be back at the cabin, sitting on the comfortable porch with a view of trees. Sipping lemonade, beside Oz, listening to Jay talk about music or that time they had fell down that gorge.

Instead all she got was the looming feeling of doom and the pull of the wolf into her consciousness. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh before ascending the stairs. She stopped as she heard a gun being cocked in Xander's parent's bedroom. The door was opened slightly, not wanting to pry, she just took a peek between the door and the wall and found prominent black feathers.

She heard Jake clear his throat and sigh before he used his foot to swing open the door lightly and glance over his shoulder at who was behind the door. He was shirtless once more and facing the other way; his wings took up a large part of the room even folded neatly at his back. There was a large sniper looking rifle grasped in his hands and barley visible over his large, wingspan. Large brown cardboard boxes filled the room, likely holding more weaponry. Dirty rags lay forgotten on the large desk before him, tools including a welder and an assortment of different pipes were scattered haphazardly throughout the room.

"You lurked?" Jake said turning back to his work, his long yellow shoulder length hair turned with him. Willow frowned, not sure what to say "I was just going," Willow started and Jake turned around, "Listen, before you go and decide what you think about these," Jake stated motioning towards his wings, "let me tell you something, I've been called everything from a messiah of Christ to Lucifer himself, I've been seen as a sign from God or an omen of up coming apocalypse. Personally I think I'm just a regular guy, living in New York trying to make a name for himself, hell, maybe not even that. I'm stuck on this plain and that's all." Jake explained shaking his head as he turned to look Willow in the eye.

"And before you ask me where I came from I can tell you right now, I can't remember, all I remember is landing in a dumpster looking around and being partially blind for a few days." He added as a second thought. His voice had an edge to it she had also noticed he had an interesting accent. "I'd really prefer not to talk about what I am. Can you dig it?" He asked. Willow nodded and thought for a second before adding, "Me too." Jake cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "Well. I'm Jewish, but I'm also Wiccan. I'm; well, a werewolf now, and a lesbian, who at the moment is falling for her ex, who may I add is a male and lacking in boobs." Willow bit her lip, "Just uhh, don't tell him that." She added a flush falling across her cheeks.

Jake stared for a second and then started to laugh, "You really are confused aren't you?" He asked with a grin falling easily onto his face. He grabbed the rag he had left on the table and wiped the black grease off his hands. Willow nodded and smiled at him for a moment before motioning to the boxes. "More of those?" She asked then motioning towards the gun he had resting on the workbench. Jake nodded, "Gotta have something other than crosses and stakes." He said opening one so that she could see.

Willow nodded and excused herself by motioning towards the room beside his, _'Yeah like silver bullets…'_ She thought glumly as she exited the room. She heard Dawn sniff again and knocked softly. "What?" Came the glum but muffled answer. "Can I come in?" Willow asked quietly. "Willow? Yeah, come on in." Was Dawn's choked answer.

Willow opened the door slowly and entered the room getting hit full in the face with the smell of salty tears and lavender hit her in the face. She found Dawn sitting on the window seat, taking in the sunlight, a vase of dried roses sat covered in dust beside her. Dusty knick-knacks filled Xander's long gone grandmother's room, some items still glinted slightly under the blanket of dust. Everything in the room looked so fragile, like it was balancing on the eye of a pin; including Dawn. Her eyes were red and puffy. She kept her legs tucked under her as she stared out into the street, her eyes shining with emotion.

"C'mon Dawnie, it isn't that bad." Willow tried, coming over and sitting beside her. "You don't know Willow, you haven't been around for a while." Dawn explained, not bothering to look Willow in the eye. The way she was talking to her wasn't cold, just weaker than the way Dawn would have normally said. "I know…" Willow whispered, her voice slightly hurt. She hated seeing Dawn in so much pain. Worse, she had missed the whole thing.

It was silent in the room for a few seconds and more tears fell from Dawn's eyes and dripped off her nose. Willow watched in silence, temporarily speechless. She wasn't used to Dawn acting this way, most of the time it was Buffy; however rare that was in itself. "I can't loose her again Willow." Dawn whispered, she wrapped her arms around herself. She was helpless, there was no way she could get her sister back, and she didn't have the strength.

Willow frowned at the girl in front of her. "We'll get her back. I promise." Willow said wrapping a consolidated arm around Dawn's shoulders. She was so cold, Willow observed with a frown. Her heart sank, and she closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. She had all this newfound power and was afraid to use it now. She didn't have control; once again she had something she needed to use this power for, and found herself unable to do shit about it but wait. Needless to say this was frustrating. But she had learned from her previous mistake and continued to tell her self to stay grounded.

"How do you know?" Dawn asked turning to towards her for the first time, and looking her straight in the eyes; fire burned behind them as the anger she felt towards the people who took her sister became evident for the first time. "Because we have a house full of people willing to help get her back Dawnie." Willow said, her thoughts landing on everyone who had jumped into action as soon as thy learned that they had needed assistance. Dawn nodded, her mind put at ease slightly but still her eyes contained more emotion that Willow felt comfortable with, and she scrambled to find more comforting words to could bring to the surface and found none. She couldn't really say she could help. The night would bring with it the monster that she had become. Then again, it was less of a monster and more of something out of place.

She hated the feeling and respected it at the same time. She glanced up at Dawn and for the first time since she had been bitten she found herself felt like she was looking at a different species. It brought a chill to her bones and she shuddered. The feeling was unbelievable; nothing in the room seemed to be what it had been before. She was so confused. She glanced over at Dawn again but instead of seeing her, she saw a wolf, a big gray wolf staring right back at her. She gasped and snapped her eyes shut trying to stay calm. She kept them shut for a moment and made sure they stayed there.

She felt a cold hand on her shoulder and snapped her eyes open again. Dawn was looking at her with a worried expression on her face her hand rested on her shoulder. "You okay, you seemed well…" Dawn's voice drifted off into the silence of the house. Willow nodded, and held back the tears that had been threatening to fall, the room was silent again for a moment.

There was a soft knock on the door that made them both jump slightly. Dawn strode across the room and opened the door softly. Xander was standing there both hands occupied with steaming cups of hot chocolate and a soft smile. "I though my two favorite girls could use a good dose of steamy, chocolaty goodness." He said handing out the mugs and stepping into the room, closing the door with his foot as he went. He the kicked his foot up and landed with a thunk and groan of springs onto the bed.

Dawn smiled softly "My hero." She said taking a sip and allowing the heat to flow through her entire body. Willow nodded in agreement and took a sip also, savoring the chocolate heat. "How are we holding up?" Xander asked the room. Both women averted their eyes immediately. "Okay, I can take a hint…" Xander said shaking his head. "You know, she's tough, we'll get her back sooner than you can count the syllables in Echinacea." Xander said allowing them a tight smile.

Willow smiled back and Dawn tried and failed before taking another sip of the hot liquid. Willow sat down in the chair beside the bed and waited for somebody to say something, glancing out of the window at the sun which was three quarters of the way through it's cycle. It was crunch time. She shuddered as she looked around the room again, the cold feeling she had had before returning as she looked around the room. Her eyes scanning her best friends, _they are so different_, she thought after a second… then corrected herself, _no I'm different_. She hadn't noticed before, she had been living with wolves; Oz and Jay were the same as her.

She glanced at them who were now watching her as well, and sighed and jumped as her stomach gave a particularly large growl. Her friends, she thought again. It was silly thinking of them as a different species, they looked the same, spoke the same, smelt the same. She closed her eyes again and let out a deep sigh, one that was supposed to relieve the tension that had just built up in her shoulders. It did nothing but bring her back to the same result as she took in new breath her brain automatically swept the conclusion of _human. _Shouldn't she be that conclusion as well.

She was shaking slightly now, the tingling that had plagued her had returned harder than ever, someone moved and she jumped off her chair, a snarl escaped her mouth before she could bite it back, sweat beaded down her legs and face. Both Xander and Dawn paled considerably and Willow blushed. "Sorry," she apologized looking down at her hands, folded in her lap. Xander reached out and took one of those hands, concern creased into his forehead. "You okay there Will? Your eyes went kinda weird there." he stated truthfully searching her face with his dark amber orbs.

Willow nodded and licked her lips, "Yeah," she lied, "Just have a bit of a headache that's all." She said getting up and excusing herself from the room; hot chocolate all but forgotten.

* * *

Jay had decided to train a little bit before dusk fell. He had a lot on his mind and needed something to do to relax the call of the hunt looming over the back of his mind. He felt kind of bad that he had sent Oz down the 'stairs of doom' to go visit Spike. But after what had happened at the bar a few nights ago he had decided that the best thing he could do was avoid the bleach blond.

Jake hadn't wanted to mess around with Spike either. He probably would have exploded right there. The guy had a temper one shouldn't be on the wrong side of. That and he hadn't met Spike yet, probably made his good comrade even wearier of the vampire. Him and demons never really mixed, then again, Jay thought grimly he didn't mix with humans either. Superstition, no matter how dead most people made it out to be still took the best of most beings, among both demons and humans. Jay had buried the hatchet before the hatchet was made, considering the way he had been brought up. Sasha had introduced Jake to both Oz and himself, neither of them thought much of the wings at the time.

Jake took out his Katana from the back of Oz's van. He then took the stereo out of the back and put in one of his own personal disks, nice thrashy heavy metal. Walking back through the yard, sword in hand. He got to the middle of the yard and unsheathed the thin silver blade, it was sharp, and he could cut through bone without a second thought. Silver to remind him of his own mortality, to remind him to be cautious before taking the blade out. It had taken nineteen years to get the blade in monk times and he was proud of it. Well he had been proud of it. Now he wasn't sure what to make of it, but he had been trained as a swords master and it was the only weapon he felt totally comfortable using. Like an attachment to his own arm, he weighed the hilt into his arms, feather light, the molded metal falling in his hands like a liquid, forming to the exact shape of his hand. It had been custom made just for him and it was perfect, he couldn't help but be proud of it.

He kicked off his shoes and flexed his toes in the thick cool grass; he pulled off his shirt, which was newly found, and tossed it over the tree. The soft sound of his feet hitting the grass comforted him and his thoughts enough to get some training in and put some peace to his busy, overloaded mind.

Clearing his mind of all thoughts he held up his sword in the fighting position and took in a deep breath.

* * *

Faith watched Jay go through his training from the balcony. His almost bronzed skin glistened with perspiration and his hair shone in the mid afternoon sun. A solitary tattoo on his left shoulder, it was in a different language, maybe sand scrip, he had two others on the under part of his upper arms, both also in a different language.

He went through the fighting motions with lightning speed and she thought he would never slow down when he finally stopped for a breather. "Enjoying the view Faith?" Jay huffed, he had both hands on his knees and was bent down. A small smile crossed Faith's face and gave him the finger before he went back to training, while she observed from above on the balcony.

She heard someone come up behind her and turned around to see Giles coming up beside her, a book in hand. _Typical watcher._ She couldn't help but shake her head before turning back around and picking at her black cherry fingernails. She looked up abruptly when she saw a flash of silver in the sun, as Jay raised the sword again. His jeans had fallen down ever so slightly and now showed off the beginning of his 'landing strip to ecstasy.' A small smile crossed her face.

Giles was staring at her and she turned around. "What?" She asked finally. "Oh nothing, I'm not ruining your view am I?" He asked, his voice contained no sarcasm, but his eyes said the opposite, and were glittering with mischief. That pissed her off.

"What's it to you?" Faith said turning around and facing the watcher. Giles cocked an eyebrow but said nothing. Faith sighed and ran a hand through her waist length chestnut coloured hair; her eyes averted from his and onto the ground. "I still owe you an apology." She said quietly. Giles took off his glasses and wiped them, still weary of the twenty-two year old. He hadn't agreed to her even coming to help in the first place but Jake had insisted and so he had given in.

He glanced up at her through blurry eyes and saw her cheeks reddening with every second that slipped by. He then realized how sincere the apology really was and found himself slightly in awe at how much the young woman had changed. Giles replaced his glasses and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up slowly and he nodded. She nodded, turned on her heel and left the porch. Giles hand fell back to his side and he bit the inside of his lip as he watched her go. Sighing he went back to his book and leant on the balcony.

He heard a snort and glanced over his book and at Jay, who was grinning up at him. "That was huge for her. You realize that right?" He asked twirling his sword between his fingers. Giles shook his head, speechless. "The woman has more pride and arrogance than she knows what to do with. It's just the way she was brought up, everything she had to do had to be right, so if she messed up she made it so the mistake was right in her eyes." Jay explained.

Giles nodded. "She just dug herself into a bigger hole. The question is, what is it that changed that and how long will it last?" Giles asked. Jay grinned and wiped a bead of sweat off his face. "Aren't we the optimistic." He commented. Gile's jaw set, "It's happened before." He grumbled. Jay smiled, "Angel changed it, for good. I think it will last as long as she lives. She did jail time and everything." Jay explained. Giles eyebrows raised and then he had a thoughtful look.

"Couldn't we bring Angel here to help?" He asked finally. Jay grinned. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. I like the way you think man." Jay said reaching over to the tree and grabbing his shirt. Giles watched slight distaste as he wiped the shirt on his forehead to get rid of the sweat.

At this point they were interrupted by Jake coming out of the two doors underneath the porch and announcing that it was just about time to have the meeting and to get to meet in the kitchen.

* * *

Oz was uncomfortable. Something wasn't right. He heard movement on the second floor and went to go see who was up there. He really was supposed to be rounding up people to get to the meeting anyways. He rounded the corner passing smiling pictures of Xander's family on the wall and towards a row of bedrooms. The whole hallway was dark and windowless with the doors closed. The only light came from spare sunlight coming from the cracks in the bottom of the doors. A faint smell of lavender and chocolate came from the second door. He heard Xander and Dawn clearly behind it door and knocked softly.

The door handle turned and light flooded the dark hallway, Oz blinked. "Hey Ozmeister, what's happening?" Xander asked beckoning Oz into the room. "Not much, meeting down in the kitchen in a few minutes." Oz explained, as he glanced around the dust filled room, Willow's scent lingered in the air. Dawn's eyes were puffy and red but she gave him a faint smile to which he returned. "You guy's haven't seen Willow around have you?" Oz asked.

Both occupants of the room frowned deeply. "Yeah she left a few minutes ago, she wasn't looking too good. She said she had a bit of a headache and left." Xander explained with a stretched look spreading across his face, concern filled his eyes. He hated the idea of not knowing what was happening to his best friend. "Her uh, eyes also flashed a greenish colour." Dawn said biting her lip. Oz nodded mirroring the concern. "I should go find her." Oz stated nodding to them both and exiting the room.

Oz exited the room with Dawn and Xander at his heels but they went their separate ways as Dawn and Xander headed down the stairs and to the kitchen. Xander held 3 mugs that still smelt faintly of the hot chocolate that had filled them moments before.

Oz strolled further down the hallway following Willow's frantic scent. Soon he found himself looking up towards a latch in the ceiling and sighing. Slowly he reached up towards the hanging string and pulled it down revealing the stairs and walked up through the shower of dust that had been released when the stairs came down from the ceiling.

Sunlight pooled down on top of him as he walked upwards. He heard a sniff and found Willow sitting in a corner surrounded by dust. Her hands were wrapped around herself and she was rocking back and fourth with each sob. The room was covered in furniture draped in white sheets and dust covered the floor. A grubby window gave off a dim light and shadows were cast from overturned chairs stacked beside it. The room smelt musty and old, most of its contents were broken. Right now that included Willow.

When he came in Willow didn't even glance up to see who it was. She just kept her head buried in her arms. Oz walked over to her slowly and sat down beside her shuddering figure. His heart was breaking seeing her like that. He then realized how hard this probably was for her, she was going to change again tonight, one of her best friends had been stolen away, was in danger and she couldn't really do anything about that. Not to mention she was changing inside as well, she was no longer human and had heightened senses. She was different, not like her friends, _different. _The word echoed in her head over and over and she felt like she was sinking once more into the darkness she had been desperately trying to escape.

He remembered how he had felt, scared, angry, frustrated… different. He drove off and left them all behind. Got all depressed and wouldn't let anyone in; yelled at anyone who tried to help. It never felt like it was **_him_**. Her situation was even worse than his was, he thought slowly, she couldn't control enough to be much wiccan help during this thing, but what does she do? She hides her feelings, _She's trying to be strong, for everyone else._ He realized. He slowly put his arm around her and felt how cold her body was. "Hey…" He whispered softly. She put her head on his shoulder, D but said nothing. He stroked her soft hair as he thought, remembering his past with her, all the Manillo and her eyes shining up at him during gigs. He inwardly sighed. He had no idea what to do to help her.

Finally, he spoke the words that came from what seemed to be the very core of his existence. Things were so rough lately, and he hadn't helped much by trucking her out here so early in her new life because of something that had since turned into the past. Two years had passed and he still felt like it was yesterday. Dwelling was never something he had done in the past, but this was the past he was dwelling in. He was drowning in it. How was he supposed to help her if he was drowning? He would find a way.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered, using a knuckle to wipe away newly formed tears from her eyes. She looked up at him and met his soft eyes with her own puzzled ones. "For what?" She asked, her voice so rough it was barely a whisper.

"For… everything lately." Oz stated shaking his head. Willow searched his face. "I should have waited and checked the rest of the options, instead of driving us all out here. I-I kind of forgot how hard it is. You know, culture shock." Oz supplied. His only reply was more tears and silence.

Oz's heart fell even more and he stroked her hair again. "Care to share? I know I may not be number one on your list to talk to right now, but I've been there." Oz spoke softly, it had been his fault Buffy had been taken. Willow let out a shuddering sigh and pulled away to look at his face. "They were just so different. I tried not to think about it but…" Willow looked away, fresh tears already streamed down her already tear stained face. "It's okay…" Oz tried. "Give it time, you'll get the hang of it. The nostalgia factor goes way down." Oz assured. "I hate it!" Willow stated roughly scratching her arm.

Oz put a gentle and warm hand on her icy one to stop her from hurting herself. Willow let the heat of his hand spread through her body and penetrate her icy core. Oz sighed, "I know, but you'll get there. We'll find a way for you to help." Oz said knowingly. Willow allowed a small smile before cuddling up in his warm arms, enjoying his pine needily scent and the comfortable silence that came with it. She leaned into his warm chest and tried not to think of what had happened in the other room.

Finally Willow looked into Oz's eyes. "Dawnie needs a way to help too." She said resolutely. Oz nodded and couldn't help but plant a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I've got a few ideas." He stated calmly, although that wasn't what his heart was telling him. Willow nodded. Another shiver raked her body as the wolf sensed a change in her emotions. "Good" she agreed with a pout. "And," she added as a second thought. "You are my number one to talk to you." She said placing a hand on her cheek. Oz's heart soared.

Oz smiled lightly. "Oz?" Willow asked after a long moment. "Yeah?" Oz asked. "Did I really eat a rabbit last night?" She asked scrunching up her nose. Oz chuckled and pulled a hand through his hair, "Yeah," Willow sighed a long sigh. "I guess immortality has its down side." She commented, glad she wasn't a vegetarian. Oz smiled, "I guess you could look at it that way." He said, glad for the change in topic.

Willow allowed a smile to creep up on her face and she turned slightly to stare into his calm sea foam eyes, his eyes may have been calm but his heart rate was way up. It took her a while to realize hers was doing the same. She leaned over softly and slowly brushed her lips against his. He looked surprised for a second before he deepened the kiss by kissing back. His tongue hit her teeth, begging for entry which she approved, finally they both pulled back. Willow was wearing a smug smile and a piece of her coppery hair floated into her shining eyes. Oz reached up slowly and pushed it behind her ear. Well she wasn't cold anymore… and she had KISSED a boy!

* * *

Jay paced the kitchen. Everyone was there minus the two he was the most concerned about, minus Buffy. Even Spike had managed to dredge himself up from the basement, and was sitting, legs sprawled on the counter, sipping blood out of a bright yellow, ceramic mug that read, "Sunnydale High Honour Student." When Jay cocked an eyebrow in his direction, he just shrugged before using a finger to open the cupboard beside him. Inside there was one other mug, it was darkblue and read "Jesus Loves his Little Children." He hooked a finger around the handle and brought it down beside his own mug. He weighed them in his hands, cocked a scarred eyebrow and roughly putting the dark blue mug back and closing the cupboard with a slight bang. Jay grinned.

It was silent for another few seconds before Jake sighed and Xander finally spoke up. "I don't want to be one to nag but shouldn't we be talking about how to save the Buffmeister?" He asked glancing around the room. "Everyone should be here." Faith said somewhat accusingly; after getting a few choice looks she shrugged. Jay sighed and cleared his throat before running a hand through his curls and deciding to speak up. "Giles and I were thought maybe we should get the Angel squad down here as well." He said glancing questioning at Jake who shrugged.

Spike let out a frustrated theatrical sigh but remained silent, Faith shook her head and spoke up. " I got a call from the 'Firm' yesterday saying he was down in the Caribbean checking out vampyric birds or something…" She explained noting the curious looks and shrugging. "He keeps me posted." With that she pulled herself up on the counter beside Spike and lit a smoke. Jay's shoulders sagged. Angel had been his last bet.

The room was silent for another second before Jake said in a husky voice, "Connor." Jay grinned. He had met Angel's son in a bar. He was the lead singer of the band that was scheduled to play before them. Angel had showed up to watch them play, he hadn't like the music much, preferring his _really_ oldies but Jay sure had." He should be working by now." Jay stated, glancing up at the clock above the stove, still very pleased someone had thought about his friend. "He still works at that coffee place right?" Jake asked as he slipped on his coat. Jay shrugged "I guess we'll see." He said with a wink in Anya's direction. "Right." Jake stated checking his pockets and finding nothing. " Be right back." With that he completely disappeared leaving an empty space in the kitchen where he had been standing. The kitchen remained silent.

Jay waited for a second before he said, "Well, I'll go get those two troublemakers upstairs shall I?" Dawn spoke up for the first time, "How do you know they're upstairs?" She asked. Jay grinned ferally, " The same way I know you had hot chocolate without me." He said holding his heart and wiping away a mock tear. When she finally grinned he pointed to his nose, "A werewolf always knows." He stated before leaving the kitchen to their own thoughts.

* * *

Willow and Oz both looked up when they heard footsteps coming down the hallway. "Its Jay." Oz said getting up and walking towards the door. "Hey guys!" Jay exclaimed as he ascended the stairs. "Decided to skip the meeting and bribe someone off for the notes later?" He asked raising his eyebrows. "Willow needed to be alone for a while, so naturally I crashed the party." Oz stated. "Luckily I took the notes." Jay said sincerely. He looked over at Willow and nodded his understanding. Willow smiled and got up as well. "Nothing much has happened yet, Jake went to flash Connor down here. That's it." Jay explained.

Willow frowned ignoring the fact she didn't know Connor she asked "Flash?" She frowned up at Jay. Jay grinned, "You'll see if we get there quick enough. If you can." He added as an afterthought, he smiled gently; but Willow was already half way past him and heading towards the door. Jay laughed, glanced over at Oz and they headed out the door behind her.

* * *

Willow, Oz and, Jay had just entered the kitchen and sat down, before there was a burst of wind from somewhere and two figures appeared out of the middle of nowhere. Willow gasped and some people blinked, but that was the only reaction Jake got for his expert teleportation.

Most people were busy staring at the newcomer. Connor was wearing a dark green coffee house apron. "You never told me about the party. I could have brought dip." Connor commented looking around at all the bodies. "Ha-ha." Jake smirked, dripping with sarcasm. When no one else gave a response, he recoiled a little bit with a little smile and waved slightly at the room of people, whose eyes were all intently fixed on him. It was quiet for a long moment "Hey Connor, what's up?" Faith spoke up from the corner. Connor grinned, "Not much. Third time this week I skipped out from work though. When I don't go in tomorrow they'll probably boot me out." He commented smiling slightly, although his voice had more of a serious note to it.

Oz walked over and they bumped knuckles, "Thanks for coming man. We owe you." He said stepping back, "No prob. Might as well embrace the fighting machine I am." Connor replied mock flexing his arms. Spike snorted. "And who may I ask, snorts the great Connor?" Connor asked turning around to face Spike. "That's Spike. He no speak English too well." Xander supplied helpfully. Spike glared at him and took a sip out of his mug.

Connor ignored Xander, "_The _Spike? As in William the Bloody, scourge of England all of last century?" he asked. Spike cocked an eyebrow. " I like him. He knows his stuff." Spike decided out loud. " History major. Not to mention my dad knows and loathes you." Connor said with a wide grin.

Spike frowned, "Who's your dad?" He asked noting for the first time that the kid really did look familiar. Connor gave him another grin. "Angel." He stated, it was one word that explained so much and so little at the same time. Spike, however laughed "You're what seventeen?" He asked through a chuckle. "Nineteen" Connor corrected smiling at Spike's reaction. "Not to mention Angel's fishes are dust." Spike said shaking his head. It was silent for a minute as the room watched both Spike and Connor as the question and answer session began. Heads bobbing back and fourth to the speaking contestant as it was their time to talk and whipping back to see how the other person would receive and respond to the new information; Like a tennis match.

"Who was your mother then? Unless Angel got pregnant." Spike stopped at this idea and thought for a second. A large grin spread across his face as he mentally pictured a severely pregnant Angel and decided it could happen. He mentally hit himself for not being there when it did. If it happened again, he would be there. He decided confirming it with a yet another sip of the ruby red as he waited for an answer. "Darla." Connor stated crossing his arms. Spike choked on his blood (which was difficult considering he was dead and didn't need to breath) and spat it back out, spraying Anya, Oz and Dawn. All of them looked utterly annoyed.

"She's dead!" He exclaimed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, leaving a red/orange stain over his pale hand. For Willow the smell was all too tempting, Connor smelt very strongly of coffee which smelt heavenly as well, so she promptly chose the latter and began to busy herself making coffee. When Connor saw what she was doing he raised his hand and began making it for her with a little, almost too knowing, smile. Willow nodded and absently wondered why she didn't smell anything supernatural about him, but shrugged it off, she was still new at this. She went back to Oz and grasped his hand. Oz smiled over at he and she put her head on his shoulder. Jay and Xander both noticed and cocked eyebrows at the two. Then they cocked eyebrows at each other.

Finally Connor elaborated, "Back when Wolfram and Hart was owned by the evil lawyers, they resurrected her and her and Angel had a one night stand. Which in turn created me, the prophesized child." Connor stated with a shrug. Spike raised his eyebrows. " But Angel wasn't in L.A. nineteen years ago." He commented pointedly. He raised his eyebrows, still looking skeptical. "That's because I'm only about three on this plain." Connor explained. Heads bobbed his way and he met everyone's eyes before continuing, "This guy Holtz-" He glanced up at Spike, "you might remember him; came through a portal and took me when I was about a month old and jumped through another portal and into a hell dimension. Needless to say dad was mad, Darla died giving birth to me. So Holtz raised me for the first time and time passed quicker there so three days was seventeen years before I broke out. Holtz died." Connor explained, knowing it wasn't the full version but it would do for now.

Connor glanced over at Spike who nodded, deeming the story acceptable, maybe not believeable but acceptable all the same. "I knew I didn't like you." Spike commented shaking his head. Then he thought of something. "You aren't vamp. Though you smell human." He commented confirming Willow's guess. "Nope, I'm human, just really strong." He explained, most of the room nodded.

"So enough with that lets figure out how to save Buffy." Dawn said dismissing Connor. Connor ignored her, "So that makes you my little nephew." Connor said grinning at Spike who looked up incredulous. "How in the name of all bloody hell, did you get that?" he asked standing up. "Well, Darla sired Angelious, who sired Drusilla who sired you. But you already know that. Anyways, if you look at it this way, Darla had sex with her son, and had me, therefore, I'm Drusilla's half brother, Drusilla sired you, who is her son, kind of. So I, being Drusilla and Angel's half brother, racks me up as your uncle. But that gets pretty kinky, considering that you're one hundred and one years older than me. So, I've I'm giving you permission to call me Connor. Uncle Connor is just too formal." Connor said waving away the comment. Spike looked pissed, "It's not like-" Connor raised his hand, "I know, that's what dad said but he was more pale. That's just the way I think about it." Connor said grinning. Spike grimaced when he heard Connor call Angel 'dad.'

"Anyways," He glanced over a Dawn "Sorry, what's happening with Buffy?" He said looking apologetic. Jay sighed and explained the situation. "Well, Blade wants Oz so he can destroy his life like Oz did to him, so he found some monks that are on a karma bent mission to teach him a lesson for going against orders." Connor summed up, the whole room nodded solemnly. "I'm in." Connor said removing his apron and running a hand through his long hair.

"What are we gonna do though, they're hiding in the high school. They have the place locked up like fire works before the fourth of July." Xander asked looking around the room. It was silent for a long moment except for the sound of Giles taking off his glasses and cleaning them. When he placed them back on his head, Oz finally decided to speak up; releasing Willow's hand as he did. "There's only one way. Give them what they want. Me…"

_**By now you should all know I like cliff-hangers. I can't help it. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!**_


	10. Chapter 10, Tipping the Scales

_**Hey readers! Apologies for the wait, my beta had no internet for a while and couldn't look everything over. Good news is I have this chapter and a chapter and a half in this fic finished. So I'm-a-gonna say, I got three reviews last chapter so when I get four I will post. Is that mean? I don't think so…**_

**_READ ME! I do have a question for those of you who are seasoned on FF as I am. Everyone who has read this fic knows the first chapter's spacing SUCKS, it's driving me crazy. Does anyone know if I can replace that chapter with-out having to replace the whole fic, cause I haven't saved the chapters separately and it wouldn't be worth fixing the first chapter if I had to re-post anything. Does anyone know if I can JUST replace the first chapter. If you do can you review or message me? THANKS FOR READING ME_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters you've head about prior to reading this. If I did I wouldn't be writing this would I? I also don't own the Ninja Turtles, if I did I don't think I would have had to go onto the official Ninja Turtles website to look up the names of two of them. Heh heh heh. _**

_**I own Jay, Sasha, Jake and the villain. But will loan them out if you want and if you ask REALLY REALLY nicely. **_

_**As always thanks to the reviewers… you all rock thanks for letting me know what you think and please continue to do so. Also thank you to my beta who is TARDIS and puts my stories before her own 400-ish e-mails… THANK YOU!**_

**Chapter 10:Tipping the Scales. **

The room went up in an uproar of disagreements. "Oz you can't!" Willow exclaimed. She felt sick, her stomach wretched, she swallowed down the bile and her heart that had risen to her throat. She glanced around the room, everyone was sallow faced and still, none of them daring to move. Jay was the only exception and he was shaking his head in disbelief. He ran a hand through his slightly damp chestnut coloured hair.

The room still echoed with Willow's worried outburst and then a crushing silence pierced Oz's ears, there was enough unease in the room to choke him with a spoon. He couldn't help allow a small mischievous smile cross his lips as he observed the room with quiet reverence.

Willow who had been searching his face with a worried and significantly paler one of her own now fumed. "What the hell are you smiling about!" She exclaimed, most of the room winced. Not even Xander had heard her put so much force behind the words she had just blasted out. She was now shaking uncontrollably, be it anger or grief as she waited for an answer; watching Oz intently as she did.

Then a voice from behind her made her jump, the room had been so quiet before then. For a moment she was angry it wasn't Oz. "He has a plan." It was Jay; he stepped quietly beside her and put a warm hand on her shoulder. A wry smile crept on his face and he was watching Oz intently, as the entire room turned to face him.

:LINE HERE:

"Do you think you can handle that?" Oz asked Willow softly as the meeting was adjourned and everyone was sent off to his or her respectable duties, like good little sheep. Willow nodded and glanced up at the sky the sun would be going down in just under three hours. It was a small time frame considering everything but, if everything turned out ok she would be able to do a simple enough summoning spell and drop as much water as possible onto the werewolves.

Oz nodded and walked out of the kitchen with Willow at his side, he wasn't used to leading so many people and he felt uneasy. A small group of individuals had been waiting for them to finish their conversation outside the kitchen and now condemned upon him. Faith, Giles, Dawn, Connor, Xander and Anya were now conveniently blocking his path to the Harris's laundry room. "We were just talking, and we were wondering what this Blade guy looked like. I mean how do we fight someone who's leading an army at us without knowing what he looks like?" Xander explained for the group.

Oz cocked an eyebrow, he had forgotten about that. He sighed slightly and led the group, now including a curious looking Willow, up the stairs and into Jake's temporary room. Jake fortunately wasn't there and Oz sat down at his lap top and typed in a few codes before the laser printer began to print beside him. The group waited quietly. "This is the most recent picture Jake could find with out the monks catching on." Oz explained as the picture finished printing and was plopped upside-down onto the waiting tray. Anya who was closest to the printer picked it up.

It was silent for a moment before both Willow and Oz heard a sharp intake of air. Anya's eyebrows had shot way up. She slowly flipped over the picture for everyone else to see. Connor, Willow and Faith definitely didn't have the same reaction as the rest of the group. Giles un characteristically swore underneath his breath. "That's Blade?" He asked his face turning red before going white as a ghost.

"You guys know him I guess?" Connor asked totally not following. He glanced over at Faith and Willow who looked just about as confused as he was and then back at the group in front of him who had collectively paled to the point of almost see-though. Xander's stomach lurched as he fell out of shock. "And we let the son of a bitch go." He mumbled, without warning he kicked the nearest crate of weaponry earning him satisfying _'thunk'_ and a shooting pain through his foot and up his spine. His eyes started to water but he ignored it.

"Xander what are you talking about? Do you know this guy?" Willow asked taken aback. Dawn had tears falling down her cheeks and she looked up at Willow, "He was the one that turned you." She whispered her voice ragged with on coming sobs.

Willow didn't register she was falling until both he knees hit the raggedy carpeted floor. "No…" She whispered, forgetting about the other people in the room. This couldn't be true, she couldn't have been made by that monster. Soon she was watching the world through swimming eyes and tears fell staining her already dirty shirt. Someone was yelling and she heard pairs of feet leave the room but her brain wouldn't make the connection.

_Why was he doing this to them? What was he accomplishing by going after them? Why was his warped mind always set on hurting people… them?_ Willow's mind buzzed and she punched the ground so hard she felt the floor give way under the carpet. She felt so dirty. Rage filled her all at once and she stared at her fist, there wasn't even a bruise. He had given her something that night, something he didn't count on her using. _Power._ Something she could use against him, something she planned on using against him. She stopped mid thought, _no. _She couldn't, not yet, not without the risk of hurting someone else.

A sob escaped her mouth finally and she used her hand to cover her face and lowered herself to the floor. Oz was there. She could feel him there, in the corner, in his own shock and rage. Just standing there. He took a few steps towards her and lowered himself to the ground. Wiped away her tears, took her up in his arms. She couldn't do this anymore.

She buried her face in his shirt and another sob escaped her tight chest. She felt so sick, so tired. A round of nausea made the coffee she had just drunk come to say hello and she dragged the garbage can beside the desk towards her and threw up. Oz frowned but said nothing. He held her hair back and she was grateful.

"It'll be okay, I promise." Oz whispered finally, his eyes burning with a rage she had never witnessed before from the stoic werewolf. She suspected hers mirrored his almost exactly. She sat up, ignoring a fresh wave of nausea. She wasn't finished this yet, she wouldn't be until this was over then she could cry.

Oz couldn't get his mind to slow down. Willow was bitten by Blade and he had changed Blade. He couldn't help but to feel a little guilt about the whole thing. When he had bitten Blade he had been in a rage he never wanted to experience again. It had taken him over from deep in his core and he struck out without thinking about anything but revenge.

Suddenly the thought dawned upon him. Blade had bitten Willow, Oz remembered hearing something about a wolf's 'sire.' When a werewolf bit a human and changed him or her. That wolf has some kind of power over the person they changed. He remembered listening to a few of the monks talking about it during a class, he hadn't thought much of it at first. Considering that he had been bitten by his little cousin, and was pretty sure he would never bite someone. Why would he do something like that? There was really no point he had remembered thinking.

It hadn't occurred to him to pay attention, Jay's 'sire' was long gone, his was thirteen and out of the country, and Sasha was a genetic wolf. He wished now that he had been paying attention, he wasn't positive but if Blade knew about this he could in essence, control her in some way. But then, he thought, he might be able to do the same thing to Blade. Oz decided to ask Jay, it was possible, growing up with wolves had given him more of an insight to that kind of thing. Willow was slowly looking better and gaining back some of her colour. He decided to get Xander to get her to eat while he and Spike went and got Buffy back. He wasn't going to tell her about the Blade thing yet, he might after it was finished, but she didn't need that on her conscious as well.

He stroked her soft hair and she looked up at his thoughtful face. "You should get going, we should help out." Willow whispered. Oz nodded. "You'll be okay?" Oz asked standing as well. Willow bit her lip and nodded. Just then there was a knock on the door. Oz had know Xander was waiting outside for a while wondering when he too would be able to talk to the red-headed witch. Oz smiled gently and opened the door, allowing Xander to enter. With one last look behind him Oz exited the room and made his way to the laundry room, Xander would take care of the rest.

Jay was waiting for him in the laundry room. He was sitting in the middle of the room cross-legged. He had some calming incense going and he had his eyes closed. It was an odd thing for Jay to do. Most of the time he didn't bother with the monk and karma ness; but Oz guessed that night was one of the few excuses he used to bring out the incense. Oz thought as he stood in the doorway gloomily.

He waited until Jay's mouth twitched into a small smile and he opened one eye to peer at him before he entered the room. "What took you so long? And what may I ask is that smell?" Jay asked looking opening the other eye and beckoning his friend farther into the room, mock plugging his nose. "You're a wolf, figure it out." Oz commented taking a few vials his friend handed him and uncorking them.

"What happened?" Jay asked looking concerned. "Willow threw up." Oz said rather vaguely. "She didn't seem that unstable, what happened?" Jay pressed on ignoring the sound of the zipper on Oz's jeans going down. "We know who bit Willow." Oz said softly. Jay looked up in surprise. "Blade. Apparently he's been in town the entire time." Oz continued.

"Son of a bitch, he had this planned all along." Jay said angrily running a hand through his hair, his eyes flashing amber. "Easy, although that was my initial reaction, I got to thinking, what if he uses her?" Oz asked giving Jay a meaningful look as he zipped up again, vials now full. Jay sighed and finished capping his last vial as well. "You mean like control through the bite? I guess that would make sense, I mean look at how strong she is, and how much control she has." Jay said thoughtfully.

Oz nodded ruefully, anger ebbed its way to the surface again. "I didn't think he had enough mind power for all that shit though." He said shaking his head. "Apparently you just need to desire it enough. That's what the monks said anyways." He added bitterly. "So, I can control him too?" Oz asked running a hand through his own hair as the new information hit him. "Apparently." Jay said putting the vials into a backpack with the baking soda. Oz shook his head, he didn't want to sink to that level unless he had no other choice, controlling someone was just way too low, especially when, these days, he had little control of himself.

It was silent for a moment and then that was interrupted by the sound of Jay zipping up the bag. "I gotta say man. This is the grossest thing I've ever had to do for the good fight, but it's genius! Pissing in vials is not exactly the kind of war I thought we'd be helping in tonight, but it's genius." Jay exclaimed handing over the backpack. Oz nodded, "I decided less blood was good." He commented grabbing the bag. "You guys should head over to Buffy's now and start setting up. I'll get Connor or Dawn to call you on our way back. Remember the plan, make sure you stay near Jake, just incase we need more than just stitches." Oz cautioned hefting the bag onto his shoulders and turning around to face his best friend. He placed a heavy hand on his shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. "Take care man, I'll see you when we get back." He said seriously. Jay nodded, "I wish I was going with you man, fangs blaring all the way. Stay safe." He said placing his opposite hand on Oz's shoulder, and as a second thought added "And don't stay up past your curfew, you hear?" He asked a smile played off his lips.

"No promises, take care of them for me. And… her." Oz answered solemnly. Jay nodded, "Your red headed beauty will not leave my sight." Jay said mock saluting. "I'm not kidding, Blade is not getting in her head again." Oz said seriously. "I know man, I'll take good care of her, and no one is getting in her head. Or her pants, I got your back, I always will." Jay said as they bumped knuckles. "You gotta let her know you love her soon man, if you don't I will." Jay said seriously.

When Oz frowned Jay chuckled. "I may be a complete and utter clown, but I'm not blind man. The way you were looking at her last night was like you were watching the world turn into a huge Zeppelin concert and this could not be ignored, especially considering I'm the Robin to your Batman." Jay said grinning goofily. "The Rock to your roll the Donatello to your Michelangelo, the…" He would have continued but Oz had raised his hand and was now walking out of the room. "I get it." He mumbled exiting the room. "Ninja Turtles may have gone too far…" Jay mumbled shaking his head and killing the incense.

LINE HERE

(Flash back to the kitchen meeting.)

_"What's the plan Oz man?" Xander asked looking hopeful. "First thing's first, we get Buffy out of there." Oz said seriously to the group in the kitchen that nodded in agreement. "I'm thinking a small group, Dawn, Connor, Spike and I. Connor and Dawn won't go in, they have the ride waiting in the trees down by the school ready to book it back here with Buffy when we get her out. I'm thinking maybe the jeep in the driveway seeing as the van only has one good front door and an unreliable motor. Connor your there in case the wolves get smart and find the jeep. If they do, get out of there. Spike and I can get away through the school's basement." Oz said glancing over at Connor who nodded. _

_"Spike and I will go in slowly, I'll have some vials we can toss around to throw them off. They'll have um urine in them from both Jay and I and will keep them off our scent considering the urine smell is always a lot stronger." Oz explained. Most of the room nodded. "Spike will sneak in the gym while I set off an alarm in the farthest hallway from the gym. He can then get Buffy out and we'll sneak around the back of the school while the wolf's are doing checks inside and are distracted by the smell. We'll get Buffy into the jeep and the go our separate ways. Dawn and Connor will bring Buffy to Xander's place where Anya will be there to assess how Buffy is, if she needs more than stitches they will call the Summer's place and have Jake flash Dr. Jay down there. Anya can do stitches right?" Oz asked. Anya nodded. "Considering all the times they've been needed I've become expert stitcher number one." She said nodding._

_"Problem, if Buffy's bleeding they will probably be able to trace the jeep back here, hungry wolves are more likely to follow the food." Spike brought up. Oz raised his eyebrows. He hadn't thought of that. It was quiet for a second before Anya spoke up. "Baking soda." She said finally. "What?" Connor asked looking confused. "It covers smells… I saw this commercial for Arm and Hammer Baking Soda on TV and it said it eliminated odors. I thought it would be great for the laundry basket because Xander is always coming home all gross and…" She was cut off._

_"I think they get it hon." Xander said turning kind of red. "Anyways, watch…"Anya opened her shopping bags revealing about eight boxes of baking soda, she then opened the fridge took out some of Spike's blood. Spike scowled but stayed quiet and poured it onto the counter. She then tore open the baking soda expertly and poured some onto the puddle. _

_Oz was surprised it took the smell away, but there was one problem, "That works but there's still scent in the air." He commented. Spike nodded but Jay was grinning, "It's getting windy, looks like the weather is on our side." He commented motioning towards the window, he had been right. Everyone in the room grinned._

LINE HERE

It was a good plan. Connor decided as he waited for the 'Save Buffy Crew' to assemble down the stairs. He didn't have to wait long. Dawn was the first one down, she gave him a faint smile and took the car keys off the hook by the door, and swung the key chain around her fingers, before biting her lip, shoving the keys in her back pocket, and going for the closet grabbing a coat for herself… and another coat, and cocking an eyebrow at Connor who shook his head. She tossed him the other coat anyways and when he raised his eyebrows at her she 'urrged' and told him that it was for Buffy. Shaking her head, she bent down and rummaged through the bottom of the closet.

She had nice long hair. He observed before starting to pace. When he heard a 'thunk' he turned around again. Dawn was pulling out a huge trunk from the closet and had just dropped the front end onto the wooden floor so she could open it. She straightened and looked down at it for a second before using her foot to kick it open.

He wasn't sure what he expected to have filled the chest, but was surprised to see it was full of weapons. He guessed he shouldn't have been, considering they were living on a hellmouth and she was the Slayer's little sister. Then again, it wasn't something he saw a beautiful girl do before. He thought with a frown. She pulled out a long sword, a cross bow and a tranquilizer gun. She then used the elastic on her pale slender wrist to tie back her long chestnut coloured hair. She sighed and grabbed some stakes and a bottle of holy water as well. She nodded, seemingly pleased with her arms and turned around to see Connor staring at her curiously. "Did you want anything?" she asked motioning towards the chest.

"You can use all of that?" Connor asked walking forward and taking another long sword and a stake. "That and more. You do remember I was born on the hellmouth." Dawn asked shaking her head, like it was the dumbest thing she had ever heard. "Yeah, but…" Connor's voice wavered off as he was hit with a glare. "Ok then." He said trying not to get her mad. All her other weapons were tucked away, but she still had the long sword clenched in her right hand, knuckles turning white.

The smell of vampire and cigarette smoke filled his nostrils and he found himself relieved to smell a vampire for the first time in his life. Any longer and he might of said something stupid. Then he remembered something, he would have to be alone with her again, in a jeep, in a forest, ALONE. Oh god, he was going to die. _Unless_… he reached into his back pocket and found… sweet salvation. A c.d. he would be okay now, the phantom of music had saved him once again from certain death.

Spike swaggered into the room, he didn't look as hung over as before. He just looked pissed. Connor didn't blame him all facts considered but now there were two angry people in the room and his odds for survival were going way down once again. If Oz turned up mad he was getting the hell out of there. Fast. He could take the vampire and the slayer's sister, but them and a werewolf? Nope, probably not, unless he had no other choice.

"Ready Bit?" Spike asked giving her a weapon once over. Dawn nodded and gave him a small grin. Spike nodded his approval and took up his own weapons before going over to a corner and leaning over it. "Can you fight at all?" Spike asked Connor looking skeptical. "What do you think?" Connor asked cocking an eyebrow, ok, he decided, he may have looked pissed off, but he wasn't going to think that he was there for the hell of it. Spike cocked an eyebrow and shook his head. Connor grinned. "Want a demonstration?" He asked.

Spike opened his mouth to ask him to bring it on, but closed it again and glanced over to the stairs leading to the basement, the door opened and Oz appeared his face stoic as ever. Following him closely was a blabbering Jay, "Ok, so Ninja Turtles may have been kind of weird, I mean there's more than two of them; I just can't think of the other names right now, but there's more; and, they are turtles. Maybe I should have said like Starsky and Hutch or Doctor Frankenstein and Igor." Jay was rambling.

Oz stopped at the mention of Igor, "That's more like it, Igor." He decided a small smile crossing over his face as he looked at Jay. "Yes master… eheheheha" Jay said closing one eye and slouching. He stopped mid 'Ehhheheheheheh' "You were thinking about the hump weren't you? You were thinking about the hump! It's not a hump! I do not have a hump!" Jay exclaimed straightening up and waving his finger accusingly.

Oz cocked an eyebrow, "Then what is it then?" He asked. "Uh… I know what it's not, it's _not_ a hump!" Jay said shaking his head bitterly. Oz sighed, "You didn't answer my question." He reminded raising his eyebrows. He looked around the room, all of them were now staring at his back. "Uggh, I can't work under these conditions, you'll find me in my trailer!" He squealed, mock exiting the room, through a door that just happened to lead into a closet. Connor decided the 'Uggh' sounded a lot like the one given from Dawn earlier and an amused smile crossed his face.

Jay came back in a second and looked around the room. Dawn sighed. "Raphael, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello." She stated, crossing her arms and glancing over at Jay. "Thanks." He said grinning and walking over to put a hand around her shoulders. She shrugged him off, but was grinning. Connor was surprised and impressed at her Ninja Turtle knowledge. "Why the hell doesn't Raphael have an 'O' at the end of his name? He totally throws off the pattern." Jay asked his eyebrows furrowed. "Raphael-o?" Spike asked cocking an eyebrow sarcastically and shaking his head. Jay shrugged. "One of the greatest mysteries in all of action cartoon land." Oz stated calmly. Everyone snorted, "Xander will feel bad he missed this conversation." Dawn commented dryly.

Oz checked his watch, "We should get going, everyone ready?" he asked heading for the door. Everyone nodded and they headed out the door, Spike using his duster to protect him from the sun until he entered the safety of tempered glass in the jeep. "See-yah Quasimoto." Connor said winking. Jay scowled "I do not, have a HUMP!" He yelled after them. They all chuckled, even Spike and Oz.

Dawn headed for the driver's side. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" Connor asked leaning over the hood of the car. Dawn glared and got in, slamming the door a little harder than usual and quickly started the engine. Connor had to run to catch up to the jeep as it accelerated out of the driveway and sped off to the high school.

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He wouldn't say that he was feeling confident, as he watched Xander's house disappear into the rest of the deserted suburban block. But he wasn't afraid either; he was past that point a long time ago. Back in the forest is where he left his fears of re capture and the serum that killed half of his inside. No, for the moment he was numb, pleasantly or not was another reason all together. He wasn't sure why, but a feeling of foreboding was seeping into his numbness and trapping him inside. He couldn't help but fear what he would turn into once the numbness left and his mind shot foreword once again.

The ride was silent, except for the occasional sound of one person or another clearing his or her throat. It seemed they were all trapped inside their own heads, fighting their own mental demons. Oz adjusted the backpack on the floor of the jeep as they took a sharp turn, hoping that all the vials were capped securely. His thoughts turned to Sasha, as they had so many times before; it seemed thoughts of her were the only things he could think of to make his cursed mind wake up from its winter slumber.

Would she be doing the same thing he was, left in his situation? A smiled played on his lips threatening to show through before he covered it up. She probably wouldn't have pissed in vials for a distraction. Of that he was almost positive. But would she have moved on with her life with out him?

He had _kissed_ Willow, he had wanted to be with her right there on the floor and there was nothing stopping him in his mind. No mental barriers to hurtle over, was that right? Shouldn't his thoughts of Sasha stopped him from enjoying every second of that kiss? Why hadn't they? He shook his head and pushed the thoughts back, deciding not to think about it. He had more pressing issues, including saving a blond Slayer and a war that was happening all too fast for his liking.

He barely felt the jeep stop as they arrived; he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Dawn, and "Anything else you need to add?" She asked apparently they had started talking as he was struggling with his own thoughts. "Don't get out of the jeep and if you're spotted get out of here, we can get back on our own; don't put yourselves at any risk." Oz stated calmly looking up at Spike, who confirmed the information with a nod.

The other occupants of the jeep nodded also, not bothering to question what they would do if both Oz and Spike came back and found a lack of transportation. They both figured Oz said that with enough confidence to have a plan B. Oz was glad they didn't question him, cause he didn't. He figured if worst came to worse, he would wing it.

Oz and Spike exited the car; the cover of the trees allowing Spike to walk uncovered through the waning sunlight, and started off through the small-forested area and towards the high school. Oz shouldered the backpack and felt very much like he was walking to school once again to wage war on pesky teachers. Both super naturals walked in silence until they reached the line just before the trees ended. "Smell anything?" Spike asked looking Oz's way.

He smelt faint werewolf, obviously that was expected considering where they were. Oz was more concerned about where the sentries were positioned and who they were. "Nothing unusual." Oz answered in a voice barely above a whisper. Spike nodded, and watched Oz for more instruction, when none came he stayed quiet and waited. He was more than eager to get Buffy out of her prison, but he knew werewolves had better senses than even vampires and left it to him, scanning the trees behind them instead.

Finally Oz turned to him, eyes glowing green in the shadow of the trees. "Guards just changed, we got time." He said straightening up, Spike followed suit and they quickly hurried across the field and through to the outside of the gym. "You know the plan, wait here until you see the guards running towards the caf. Get in there. I'll meet you there and we'll run for it." Oz reminded Spike before nodding and taking the baking soda out of his bag and sprinkling it on Spike, who didn't look happy about it, but didn't voice his opinion.

Oz then walked around the side of the school, using all his wolf powers to stay silent. When he reached the other end of the school he waited about two minutes before slowly lowering the backpack and opening it. Exasperated, he covered himself in baking soda before taking out the vials, and cautiously entering the school, closing the door, silently behind him. Cautiously he walked down the locker filled hallways. His heart raced as he heard footsteps coming towards him from the nearest hallway and scooted into one of the empty classrooms.

"Did your group find anything in the crypt that the vampire was staying in?" A hushed voice asked. A snort came from the second person, "Yeah enough alcohol to bring down a bull elephant, nothing else of any importance." Came a second voice. A smile quirked Oz's lips; he could believe that. Both the people walking down the hallway were werewolves, one he knew personally, but never really liked, Garth. He was about eighty in human years and thought so highly of himself Oz wouldn't be surprised if he had a picture of himself in wolf form with him always. The other he didn't know, he smelt fairly new to Oz and he didn't take that as a good sign. It meant there would more noobies, which meant more C.W.'s to deal with.

They walked past, leaving Oz sweaty and nervous, but otherwise unnoticed; the baking soda seemed to be doing the trick. _Anya under-cover genius._ Oz thought, making sure the coast was clear before walking into the bathroom. This hadn't been his plan to begin with but he thought it would make more sense considering that's where one did one's business. He got in the door, threw a vial at the back wall, where it promptly exploded, and got out of there. Because it was likely that the bathrooms were the most used rooms in the entire building anyways, _more chance someone finds the scent._

He did the ladies one too before throwing a few down the hall closer to the far exit, away from where the rescue would take place. He then walked farther into the building attempting to get into the cafeteria unnoticed. He couldn't however, about eight wolves were in there. Cautiously, he dropped a vial out side of the door and one nearer to the bathroom, before retreating to the outside of the school and throwing the remaining vials on the side of the school, on the roof and in the road way. That was about the time when he heard the alarm go off.

His vial bag was empty except for some full boxes of baking soda that was left, he dumped some over where he had walked and ran for the gym. By now everyone would be on the other side of the school, even the one's guarding Buffy. Oz hopped the wolves hadn't wizened up to their battle protocol, some still believed in trust. If they had, which considering they had Blade with them; wasn't hard to imagine, the guards would die.

They had no reason to believe Buffy had any loyalties to Oz or Jay except Willow was Oz's ex, which in the world of a C.W. meant nothing. Another reason why they couldn't keep running the monks like they were.

Oz stopped running as his breathing labored, knowing that was very well what could give them away and walked still closer to the wall. The wind had picked up, still more and he could smell a summer storm coming. This suited him just fine, considering the scent in the air was most likely to give him away. Glancing up he noticed a few wolves on the roof. They hadn't seen or heard him, he knew that already, it seemed they had found the vials on the roof though. Obviously confused about why he and Jay had dropped boxers everywhere, which was good, they needed a nice mystery for a distraction.

After what seemed like hours he finally reached the gym and snuck in the best he could. What he found was somewhat of a relief. Considering his worst fear was to come face to face with Blade. Instead he found two unconscious wolves and a bleach blond ready to beat the living crap out of him. Luckily they were on the same side.

He would have wet his pants at Spike's expression if they weren't, and that would have been bad, all things considered, the wolves were hunting off _his_ urine. Not to mention, embarrassing. "Good, I was beginning to think you weren't coming back mate." Spike exclaimed lowering the 'borrowed' baseball bat and quirking an eyebrow. "Got lost." Oz commented running a hand through his hair and noticing for the first time Spike had a look of utter relief on his face.

Before he could comment, Spike already had turned his back on the baking soda covered ally and back to the woman lying on the floor, Oz had yet to notice. He blamed it on adrenaline.

"Oz made it, we can get you out of here now." Spike was whispering to Buffy, who's small broken looking form nodded slowly. Oz could smell the tears in the air. Mixed with blood. She looked so damn small lying there in a crumpled heap, nothing like she had when he had seen her last. Anger washed over him, memories of Sasha filled his head. But this was so different. There was a stake tied in the middle of the room, cut ropes like rusty snakes scattered around the bottom. "Thanks Oz." He heard her whisper shakily and he walked over quickly giving her a nod and smile. She was dirty, but conscious, there was a large bruise on her forehead and a cut on her cheek, but she seemed ok, but weak.

She was thanking him. Thanking him for bringing this shit into town for the first place. He couldn't help but blame himself. They wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. He couldn't except that thank you, and he wouldn't. He would fix it though, or die trying. His jaw locked in place and he looked over at Buffy and Spike. "I'm gonna change, so I can do more if we're caught getting to the jeep. It won't take long, but we have to get out of here soon." Oz said walking over to a change room to do just that. Spike turned around and nodded before going back to Buffy.

Oz took his clothes off quickly, trying to focus on the change but instead finding himself focusing on the conversation in the other room,

"We have it covered now." Spike was mumbling to Buffy. "Oz has it all figured out, the plan is pretty solid." Spike was explaining, in a comforting voice. The change was pulling him in, but he ignored the pain and kept focused on the conversation.

"Are you alright, did they touch you?" Spike's voice was blazing now, she must have said something because the next time he spoke his voice had softened. "Returning the favor aren't I?" He asked softly chuckling at the time he had to be rescued, "Glory had no chance against you. Didn't have the heart to see how you would use yours." He added. By now Oz was just about finished, he could tell Spike was trying to keep her conscious at this stage. After what seemed like forever he was the wolf and emerged from the change room.

Spike was where he had left him, crouched beside Buffy, his back to him, supporting her head. Oz came up behind him slowly, his claws clicked on the wooden gym floor. Buffy glanced over his was and turned really pale. _Shit, she doesn't know it's me…_ Oz thought walking the rest of the way over. "Spike…" Buffy had started, she weakly pointed over at Oz. Spike turned around slowly and nodded at him. "It's just Oz love. I promise." He said waiting for Oz to walk closer.

Buffy still looked scared. When he got her side Oz used his head to lift up her pale hand and positioned it so that the hand was on top of his large soft head. She ran her hand over the length of his muscular body until she got to his tail and a small smile swept over her face. "Congratulations." She said in awe. Oz snorted and promptly jumped on the closest bench and splintered it, until it was utterly destroyed. Her smile widened, "Bench look shifty Oz?" She asked grinning at the old joke between the two of them. Oz snorted again. Spike looked confused but didn't question Oz's antics.

Oz walked over to his backpack and snorted again. Spike nodded and opened it up, dumping the rest of the baking soda on all of them. Buffy looked afraid for their sanity but Spike shrugged it off hefted the bag and picked up Buffy. Cautiously they made their way out of the gym, clouds covered the sun now and when they got outside Spike started to run, Oz trotted beside him, which matched Spike's pace perfectly as they made their way through the forest and towards the jeep. Just about home free.

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Jay closed the door with a slight slam and ran stressed hands through his chestnut curls. It was times like this he wished he could follow Oz everywhere, just to make sure that if he needed back up, it was there. Oz was like his older brother, and Jay knew he wasn't stupid or reckless or any of the words that those two words would give him if he looked them up in a thesaurus. But that didn't mean things would go smoothly. Sighing, he went about his part of the plan and got the rest of the group together.

_"While, we're off getting Buffy back, Jay will get the rest of you guys to the Summers place. Where you need to set up what ever you need to, and get organized. Anya and someone else can stay here and get ready to receive Buffy, in whatever shape she's in. Don't leave the phone. If she needs more than stitches and aspirin, call Jake and tell him that he needs to flash Jay there pronto. Do what you can to take care of her, cause we need as many fighters as possible there. I'm not sure how many we're up against, but the numbers can't be too fair; like Jackie Chan against all of China. It's possible to win, but re-coop time will be needed afterwards." Oz had explained. _

_"When Spike and I get Buffy to the car, Connor and Dawn will drive it back to the Harris house. Spike and I will then head off towards the Summers house. By now the wolves will probably be on our backs and we'll lead them right into the battle. At this point it will be just about dusk. It's the last phase of the moon tonight and every newer werewolf will be more jumpy which gives us an advantage. When Jay and the rest of that group get to the Summer's house I need them to set up as many noise making things as possible. I don't care what you use. Just make it loud and random. Once Connor and Dawn drop off Buffy, depending on the situation can call Jake and get him to flash you two down to the Summers house as well as maybe the person who stayed with Anya. Like I said, send who ever you can spare, but make sure Buffy's got what she needs._

_Willow, can go to the Summers house, by the time she gets there she should be kind of jumpy as well, but I was thinking that maybe she could umm, summon some water or rain," Oz had stopped again and glanced in Willow's direction, she nodded eagerly. "We got some faulty weapons out on the monk's side thanks to Jake, they should activate with water and give us some time. If one of you guys sees that the water is on the way make sure you bring out the silver bullets. When the wolves go down, shoot them, or they'll just get back up twenty minutes later." Oz cautioned glancing around the full room. _

_When Willow needs to change I should be there already, if I'm not I need someone to take her down to the basement and stay with her throughout the change. Xander." Oz glanced at Willow's best friend who nodded, "She needs someone there she knows better than she knows herself or a werewolf. I know you want to be there Jay," Oz glanced up at the rigid brunette, "But if Buffy needs help, you're going to be there, Xander is the only one I can trust to stay with her. He pulled her out of rage before." Oz said slowly stealing a gaze at Willow who nodded. _

_"Xander, if you need to go down in the basement and put her in the cage. If you can help it, don't watch the change, it will be better for the both of you. Your presence will be good enough. When she's the wolf, talk slowly and calmly, don't look her right in the eye unless she initiates it. Remember it's not Willow, it's a wolf; your job will be to pull Willow out of there._

_Even if you get a glimpse of her underneath all the teeth and fur, if you feel comfortable let her out. She won't be happy about where she is. If you don't feel safe; don't let her out." Oz cautioned looking Xander straight in the eye, before glancing at Jay and Willow to see if they had anything to add. Jay shook his head and flicked his wrist and Willow shook her head no._

_"Get yourselves ready. Willow, can I talk to you for a second?" Oz asked adjourning the meeting._

Jay went up stairs to find Willow, hoping he wouldn't find her the way Oz apparently had. When he heard the sound of laughing he felt relieved. He knocked softly on the door of Jake's room and Xander opened it, still grinning. "We gotta get going soon." Jay said, hating his job more than ever now, he got left behind and he was the bearer of bad news. Xander nodded and opened the door. Willow was pale, but smiling, she gave him a little wave and got up from the desk she had been sitting on.

"Did Oz and the others leave?" she asked looking concerned. Jay nodded, "Yep, he left, he seemed to be okay. But we gotta get going over to the Summers house." Jay said making sure he was staying true to the plan. Willow nodded, slightly disappointed that he didn't stop to say goodbye. Her heart fell when she thought about him rushing off to stay true to his plan and make sure he was there for her change. He shouldn't of had to worry about her that much. Willow sighed and accepted Jay's hand as she slid off the desk and followed Xander and him out of the room.

Everyone was already waiting for them by the door. "Have you guys done this before?" Jay asked putting his hands on his hips. "No, mostly we just save the world. This time we're taking on a little something smaller." Xander answered for the group. Jay nodded a wry smile spreading across his face. "Then let's go." He said heading for the door. "We can't." Faith said who was looking out the window.

Jay raised an eyebrow. "Why?" He asked a look of concern crossed his face. "They got a patrol walk'n up and down the street." Faith answered. "How many?" Jake asked taking up the gun he had strapped to his back. "Four." Faith answered getting the message and taking out her own gun.

"Guys. We can't, I'd love to, but we can't. It could give away out position, then where will be safe to take Buffy, hmm?" Jay asked, hating to have to be the one to rationalize. Giles nodded. "It would be better for us to just wait until they leave." He stated. "We don't have time for that." Jay hissed unconsciously pulling his curls.

"I'll flash you guys down there." Jake said finally with a nod. "I really hate having to hide like this." Jay said through clenched teeth. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over to see Willow standing there, her eyes calm but shining with emotion. That's when he realized he wasn't the one having the hardest time here. It was Willow, and probably Buffy who were suffering the most. Oz too, but he didn't want to think about that. It was more than enough to make him want to lose control and punch his fist through the wall before tearing after the four wolves in the street.

"I know," Willow was whispering, "But you won't have to hide too much longer." She said catching his eyes. It was at that time he realized he was shaking, his eyes were probably flashing. Giles, Anya and Xander had all paled. Slowly he got his breathing in check, the tension in his shoulders loosened and he finally looked up again.

"I'm sorry." He said finally, he wasn't used to random bursts of emotion. As much as he hated to think it, the moon was getting to him as well. He hadn't been reading his wolf as much as he should have been. All this stress was probably making it uncomfortable. The room was nodding. "Been going after this guy almost four years now. I can wait a little longer." He said smiling wryly.

"Good." Giles said looking up at Jake. "Ready?" Jake asked cocking his eyebrows at the room. "Good luck guys," Anya whispered giving Xander a kiss. A _long_ kiss; before stepping back, she had opted to stay alone so that more people could fight. When she finally stepped back she was biting her lip.

"Can you deal with all of us Jake?" Jay asked making sure Jake wasn't going to hurt himself, he had never seen him flash more than two people. Jake nodded, "Not sure, but we'll see." With that the room filled with light and Anya was left alone in her boyfriend's old house. But even worse was the fact that she was all alone, with werewolves walking back and fourth on the street in front of the house.

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Dawn and Connor sat in silence in the jeep. Spike and Oz had just left and now they had nothing to talk about. It was awkward to say the least and finally Connor couldn't take it anymore and reached into his pocket, he slowly pulled out the C.D. he had had in his pocket and shoved it in the player in the jeep. Dawn let out a sigh of relief as she heard what it was, the Ataris, at least he had some taste in music.

"Is this okay?" Connor asked making sure she didn't mind the music. She nodded her head and grinned, glad for a distraction to cut through her thoughts of her sister. "Great actually." She said grinning. Connor cocked an eyebrow at her and frowned. "Ok, so I don't look like the type, but I've always hated the stereotypes anyways." Dawn knew she was rambling, but she didn't care, it was something she needed to do so she didn't have to think anymore. Considering she didn't know him, he was someone she could ramble with and not have to worry about later.

Connor on the other hand, hadn't really seemed to notice but instead nodded. "Yeah, I don't understand either, why a goth kid can't like country music or a prep can't like screamo." He decided with a nod. Dawn was happy he shared her opinion. "So, three huh?" She said cocking her eyebrow. Connor nodded, "Yep, officially." He said nodding. "Nice to meet someone so mature for our one digit ages." Dawn said her eyes glimmering with mischief. "Huh?" Connor was confused, first, she had called him mature, and second, she had put herself in the same category. "Son of two vampires, meet the key." Dawn said holding out her hand, which he took, still confused. "They key?" Connor asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I was created five years ago from some sacred object that was supposed to open a portal to hell, on earth. It's a long story, but it back fired and Buffy ended up dying, coming back to life and saving the world yet again." Dawn explained quickly. "So you and Buffy aren't blood sisters then huh?" Connor asked. "Oh no, she's blood, that's why she died, she jumped into the portal to close it instead of having me jump in. Talk about teenage angst. Half my memories are made by some monks." Dawn explained. "Been there. How come it always has to do with some monks?" Connor said snorting, Dawn shrugged.

"That's cool though, it's good to know I'm not the only one." Connor chuckled. Dawn nodded grinning slightly. "So, you're eighteen right? You gonna go to collage?" Connor asked glad for an excuse to talk. Dawn nodded, "Yeah, I got into Douglas, I'll be moving on campus in October." Dawn said proudly. Connor looked surprised. "I'm going there for my second year next year." He commented raising his eyebrows. "Really?" Dawn asked looking relieved. Connor nodded, "Psyc. degree." He elaborated. "Ancient cultures." Dawn stated frowning. "That's cool, if you need help around campus just let me know." Connor said helpfully.

Dawn nodded, "Thanks." She said smiling slightly. "So, you like the original or the cover better?" Connor asked referencing the song, 'Boys of Summer' which had just come on. "Don Henley wasn't really my cup of tea, I like this one better. The music video is better too, I didn't like Henley's it was kind of dumb." Dawn said crinkling her nose. Connor laughed, "Agreed." He said nodding. "The guitar is considerably better too." He added. Dawn laughed too.

Connor sung along for a minute, feeling better about the situation now and Dawn sat and enjoyed the music. When the song ended she stared at him for a moment. "You sound a lot like him." She commented wide-eyed. Connor nodded. "Not the first time I've been told that." He agreed. "I'm not him. However." He added waggling a finger.

Dawn grinned, "He was blond wasn't he?" She said thinking out loud. Connor chuckled, "Yeah he was." Dawn scowled imagining Connor as a blond. He laughed harder then stopped abruptly, "Did you hear that?" He asked her. Dawn shook her head, confused. "Someone's outside, well, two someone's. We should go." Connor said starting for the keys. Dawn had them clasped firmly in her fist. "What are they, wolves?" Dawn asked quietly. Connor nodded. "We can take two." She said squaring her jaw. "Um, we?" Connor said glancing at Dawn, she really didn't look like someone who could fight. "Yes we!" Dawn snapped.

"What if they have a radio? We could give them away." Connor said cautiously. Dawn sighed, "Fine, you go for the radio." She said grabbing her sword and a gun before opening the door to the jeep. "I didn't come this far, not to get her back." She said through her teeth. Connor nodded and got out as well. "You got it." He said arming himself as well.

They stepped out of the jeep and Dawn followed Connor down wind. As they waited for the wolves to show up Dawn readied her gun. They heard laughing coming from the bushes and popped out. Dawn took out the first one with out even making eye contact with the silenced shotgun. Connor punched the other before the wolf had time to react and took his walkie-talkie before Dawn shot him too. Connor turned around and raised an eyebrow. "We make a good team." He commented pocketing the walkie-talkie and heading back towards the jeep. Dawn nodded and took some baking soda out of her pocket; she then sprinkled it over the two bodies.

By the time both of them had gotten back into the jeep the sun was almost down, hidden behind a cloud. They then started waiting again in silence, except for the radio. "Shouldn't they be back by now?" Dawn asked. Connor shrugged, "They didn't really give us a time frame." He commented. Dawn was getting fidgety and worried again. Just about the time she was going to say they should go looking for them they heard the crunch of leaves underfoot and looked up. Spike burst out of the forest running full out, with Buffy supported in his arms, a golden wolf at his side, tongue lolling out of it's mouth. All of them were trailing white baking soda behind them from their soda-covered selves.

"Damn…" Connor whispered getting out of the jeep and walking over to meet Spike who was busy observing the two bodies in the clearing. "Didn't exactly follow orders did you?" He asked. Connor ran a hand through his hair. "There were only two of them." He said smiling slowly. Spike laughed, "So I see." He said with a shake of his head. "And…" Dawn added coming up behind Connor. "We got his radio." She said holding it up. Spike cocked an eyebrow. Dawn then seemed to notice Buffy after a second. "Buffy!" She exclaimed. "She's alright bit. Weak, but ok." Spike commented softly.

Oz snuffled. Dawn seemed to notice him for the first time too and stepped back a few feet. "Oz?" she asked weakly. The wolf snorted and walked over towards her. "It's him Dawnie." Buffy managed weakly. "Just harrier." She added. "We should get going." Spike commented. Connor nodded and took Buffy from a reluctant Spike and headed for the jeep. Dawn waited until he had her loaded up before looking back towards the two.

"Thank you Oz." She said softly, before slowly bringing a hand down to the wolf's head. Their eyes met and Dawn caught a glimpse of Oz in there and a smile broke her face. She lowered herself to the Wolf's eye level and hugged him tightly. Tears spilled down her cheeks. Oz was surprised to say the least, but sat there all the same. Any other wolf, maybe even Jay, would have ripped her head off. Human touch was _the_ biggest 'don't do' on a wolf's list. They weren't dogs after all, but proud animals.

Dawn pulled away after a second and stood up, giving Spike a hug too. Oz got the feeling Spike had felt almost as much uncomfortable as he had, but he hugged back never the less. "Thank you." She whispered in his ear before walking back to the jeep.

Both vampire and wolf watched, still and silent as the jeep sped away, toward the Harris's. Both knew they might not see those people ever again, considering the night they now faced. They stood there a second longer in silence before making their way towards the second house and leading the wolves to the fight that was waiting there.

_**Heh you guys thought for a second there that Jay and Oz had a bit of a thing going huh. Sorry guys, not this fic. I'm not opposed to having a slash fic with Jay and Oz, so if someone is interested by all means, go ahead. I would, but I don't have the time. I WANT FOUR REVIEWS BEFORE I UPDATE! I have the next chapter written already so you won't have to wait as long as you review. **_

**_The LINE HERE was supposed to use the ruler thing on ff when you edit, but it kept giving the page errors. Apologies for any confusion._**

_**!IMPORTANT READ THIS! ALSO, I sketched a picture of Jay so everyone gets an idea of what he looks like and posted it on Deviant Art, ww w. deviantart. com ... take out the spaces, then go into the search and type 'Jay' and 'werewolf' it should be posted by me, my alias being blackstainedflowers and pick the whiter one. I tried to get u guys a link but even putting spaces in it didn't work with deviant's formatting. :( -is sad- REVIEW.**_


	11. Chapter 11, PreWar Interlude

_**Sorry sorry sorry sorry! I know I said I would update after the fourth review, BUT, life once again got the better of me and I was forced to put it off for more… erm academic things… My beta has been out of order again and I'm doing a co-author work with ShadowHawk, I'm also doing yoga and learning guitar on top of math, math tutoring and two hours of biology 11 homework a night. Now after all those excuses… here's your update after a few short messages…**_

**_DISCLAIMER: Nothing you recognize I own outside of this plot. I wish I did. I wish I could get this published and you all could buy a copy and keep it forever… BUT being the copy-writed characters they are, I cannot and will forever remain under the shadow of the creator… J.W. and Co. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME. _**

**_Big thanks to Evergreen-Baby for putting up with the nit-picking and pressure and annoying rambles of the insane author. HUGE thanks to the 'regular' reviewers, who I love so much! And the rest of the reviewers who reviewed so promptly after my taking this chapter for ransom… I got 5 reviews out of the 39 people who read the last chapter. A RECORD! Pat yourselves on the back and enjoy the chapter you all have earned! _**

**Chapter 11: Pre-War Interlude. **

The 'Summer's House' group ended up just there, in the middle of the Summer's living room. Everyone had gotten there safely except Jake whose cry of, "God! Why would someone put a coffee table here!" Had echoed off the silence of the house, Jay had snickered and got thwacked on the head by the back of Jake's hand.

Giles had made that annoying sound he tends to make when he's exasperated. It sounded somewhere between a snort and a sigh. Willow couldn't help but smile at Xander who covered up a laugh with the weirdest cough any of them had ever heard.

"Right, so we need to set about making random sounds as well as sealing this house up tight. I have some ideas, but anyone else have anything they would like to share?" Jay asked plunking himself on the couch. Willow nodded, she had been thinking about this all day and when no one else spoke up she did. "I can bewitch the pots and pans to go around and make random noises." She said grinning.

Jay nodded, "Me likey, it's simple and effective. There's another flaw in Oz's plan though, as much as I hate to point it out. We will be hearing the random loud noises as well, which will slow us down. Ideas?" Jay asked. "Ear plugs." Faith said shrugging.

"No. Can't do it. We need all our senses intact for the fighting or they could sneak up behind us and we wouldn't hear them." Jay decided. "I have a spell that could help with that." Willow said frowning, "Let me get my books." She added heading for the stairs. The room nodded, not really wanting to get in her way.

Willow rushed up the stairs, ignoring the smell of 'werewolf' as it now filled the house. Willow guessed they had searched the house once they found out where everyone had been staying. She guessed it hadn't been that hard to find the only people living in the city.

Quickly she walked through the hallway and through to her room. "Hello _falta_." A voice came from behind her, a female voice. It was coming from the bathroom. Willow's blood ran cold as the smell of werewolf suddenly got stronger and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Willow, I'd take it. Interesting name." The voice sneered. "What are you doing in here?" Willow asked calmly, almost too calm. A tall woman stepped out of the bathroom to lean elegantly on the doorway. She was dressed in a silk red shirt, black pants and a pair of soft leather boots that reached the bottom of her knees. She had long black hair that curled slightly and fell to her waist, pale skin and gray eyes.

"Snooping" she shrugged, "What else. Waiting for you and your band of mischief-makers to make an appearance. It would seem my patience has paid off." She stated hotly. Upon seeing Willow's reaction she added, "Don't worry, the Civilized Wolves still have a place for you on the light side, all you have to do is ask." She stated in her elegant Spanish accent.

Willow glared. "And if I decline your request?" Willow asked. The woman's eyes flashed a bright yellow, "Well then you die with the rest of the mutts. Daniel has manipulated all of you, he is stronger than what we had thought before, and grief from his lost mate has blinded him." It took Willow a while to realized she was talking about Oz. She hadn't heard anyone call him Daniel, ever, he had told her that was his actual name but she always just assumed no one used it.

"You failed to mention his mate's death was your side's fault and that you are the one's being manipulated by the one hunter you all feared the most." Willow stated crossing her arms defiantly. "The one known as Blade has felt the call of the moon and has changed his killing ways. He now understands fully what it is like to be on the other side of a silver bullet. He has taught us much." She stated.

Willow snarled. "Changed his killing ways? What are you guys doing here then? Taking a vacation in the high school and inviting Buffy for tea and finger sandwiches? No, I don't think he changed his killing ways, I think he changed yours. Which is why your organization should be taught a lesson." Willow growled in a principally tone. This made her proud; she could apply her life with her current occupation.

"Oh, so you think you have the strength to deal with one of the C.W.'s you got nothing on me." The woman stated matter-of-factly. Willow frowned confused and the woman laughed. Anger bubbled below her surface and Willow brought her open hand across the woman's face leaving bloody streaks where her nails went over.

The woman gaped. "Now I have something on you." Willow said quietly. "How dare you!" The woman began, taking a step forward and drawing a long silver blade. Willow paled, only now realizing that bitch slapping the older werewolf may not have been the best choice for her.

The woman's face reddened and she glanced out at the sky, the sun was just about down, and they had about a half an hour. Blood dripped off of her scratched face and Willow watched with overwhelming unease as the wound healed in a matter of seconds. She seemed to be pulling strength from the coming moon. Willow followed her gut instinct and took a big step back. The hairs on the back of her neck raised and a shiver went down Willow's spine when she realized that the woman was growling so low only she could hear it.

"You little bitch." The woman hissed, her teeth grinding. Willow took another step back and kept her eyes just below the woman's eye level. She couldn't take anyone in a fight, that included a pissed off werewolf she didn't know, holding a long sharp silver sword. To her dismay she heard the sword move up swiftly to bring down a blow. "I think I will enjoy this, you and yours have done a hell of a lot to mess up a good operation. Although I don't understand why, we were at peace for a hundred years and then you decided you needed to go and ruin the system." She was rambling. Willow was backing away quicker now, then she hit something human shaped.

Jay's eyes were flashing as he pulled Willow behind him and putting himself between the two females. "Serena." He stated in a low growl. "Get out of here." He added holding up his own sword. "You. You were always an idiot Jayson, following Daniel and the mutt like a lost puppy, like the C.W.'s meant nothing to you! They raised you Jayson, they brought you back from the brink of death and insanity. They taught you how to defend yourself and the ways of the world. They sent you to medical school, you could have been a _leader_ Jayson!" She exclaimed. Jay raised his hand and shook his head.

"Alright, alright, enough with the guilt trip. You obviously haven't heard the part where the monks only help themselves right? And the part where the mutt, you were referring to saved all of us from exposure to the human world as well as mass slaughter and the monks did nothing to save her from torture." Jay quirked an eyebrow and Serena raised her sword.

"Did I mention the part where I never liked you." Jay added, both swords came down with a deafening clang and they fought, it was so fast Willow could hardly make out the thin lines of blur that was their silver swords. "You're a jerk." Serena snarled. "But I'm a loveable jerk. Unlike you, who taught sword play like a fucking Nazi." Jay snarled back. The woman made a rough jab at Jay's stomach and he parried it. "I taught sword play the way I was taught swordplay, back when sometimes we couldn't eat for weeks." She slurred twisting her neck a little bit to knock the hair out of her eyes. "When you were taught sword play, Spain was being invaded by the French. Things change Serena, but apparently you don't." Jay said taking a sharp bold swing.

Serena ducked and Jay jumped over her, stooped down and she swung around, and stabbed her in the back. "That move wasn't around in the twelfth century." Jay stabbed the blade in further. "They won't come for your body, give you a proper funeral. You know it, they don't care, and you're just a pawn. It doesn't matter how noble you died for the cause, they won't come back for you." Jay said calmly, Serena was gasping for air now, Willow could tell it wouldn't be much longer. "Now you know how Sasha felt, how Oz felt. Betrayed by the group that promised to support them… Now who's the traitor?" Jay asked flinging her off his sword and into the wall.

Willow didn't realize she hadn't been breathing until Jay turned around and she felt her brain switch back on and took a sharp breath. She felt an arm on her shoulder and jumped. It was Xander, he gave her a shaky smile and she turned around to face the rest of the group. She hadn't even heard them enter. "Did she hurt you?" Jay asked very quietly, turning around and piercing her eyes with his, now serious, chestnut ones. Willow shook her head no. "I see you got her though." Jay commented, nodding towards the scratch marks on Serena's face. Willow nodded and crossed her arms around her cold, numb body.

"Who was she?" Willow asked after a while. Jay frowned, "She used to be swords master at the school. Evil bitch, even before we figured out they were all evil." Jay said nodding for Faith and Jake to take the body somewhere. Willow didn't see where cause she couldn't watch. She couldn't see werewolves as just another demon now, she didn't before but still she thought of them as a different species, now that she was the same as that body on the floor. Just like the one who had killed it. Then she realized that this was only the first of a whole army of werewolves… her… kind that would have to die by her hand, or close to her. Xander left the room and came back with her book.

Jay walked over to her and tried to grab both her hands, she kept hers limp. Tears had begun to form in the corners of her eyes and she could bring herself to make eye-contact with her good friend. "C'mon Willow, it's just me." He said softly, he used a soft knuckle to bring her chin up to look into his soft chocolate brown eyes.

Willow nodded, but more tears fell down her face. "I don't know if I can do this." Willow said in a voice barely above a whisper. Jay nodded, he knew the feeling, but glanced out the window instead of commenting. Willow followed his gaze to the on coming dusk. "You won't have to." He said truthfully. Willow let out a shaky sigh and nodded, she hated the idea, but she had no choice, she would have to change tonight, and then she wouldn't have any control. "Thanks…" She said finally. "For the rescue."

Jay nodded, "My pleasure. Come on, let's go help set up. It'll take your mind off things." Jay decided motioning towards the stairs. Xander came up beside her and pressed the leather bound book in her hands before placing his hands on her shoulders and giving her a comforting massage. They both watched Jay walk down the stairs, with his sword in hand. Xander rubbed the small of her back a second longer and Willow turned around and gave him a hug, leaving all the tear stains on his once dry shirt, before putting on a solid resolve face and followed Jay down the stairs, flanked by Xander who was slightly pale.

* * *

Buffy was lying in the back seat of somebody's jeep. Her head hurt like hell but she was awake and alive, which was more than she thought she would be after that night. The wolves had had their own way of punishment, but the big guy, Blade, was brutal. The pain she had felt in that room had been unbearable. But she didn't want to relive that at the moment. She couldn't. Instead she focused on who was in the jeep. Dawn was driving, fast, faster than she had ever driven herself. Then again, she never drove at all. Sunnydale was small, so most of the time there was no point. 

Buffy moaned and a wave of nausea hit her but she swallowed it down. Preferring to ponder who the guy in the passenger's seat was. He had carried her to the jeep in the first place. Finally, she felt good enough to speak and did so. "Who are you?" she questioned quietly to the guy in the passengers seat. He turned away from Dawn who he had been staring at intently and turned to her. He offered her a small smile and held out his hand. "I'm Connor." He stated.

Buffy moaned again. "Your not a werewolf are you?" she asked weary of an answer. Connor chuckled, and ran a hand through his hair before pulling his hand back. "No, I'm not, guess you've seen your share of those lately." He added an eyebrow quirking. He head Buffy mumble something that sounded like, 'duh, understatement of the year.' Before she asked, "Who are you exactly and where did you come from?" Connor smiled a little bit, this slayer got right down to business. "I'm a friend of Oz and the band. Angel's son." He stated hoping she didn't hear the last part clearly, that was always a long and complicated story. Buffy just nodded too tired to care about much else except the fact that he was on their side.

Her next question took both people in the front seat by surprise. "Why the hell am I covered in baking soda?" she asked slightly confused. Dawn laughed, same old Buffy. "It covers up your scent." Dawn stated a small, relieved grin sliding across her face. It was Buffy's turned to cock an eyebrow and this time both people in the front seat laughed. "It's a long story." Connor added helpfully.

* * *

"Did you get that?" Jay asked looking up from his drum set and towards Jake who was on a laptop. He grinned and nodded and Jay was pleased. "That has to be the most random drum playing ever." Jay commented taking the earplugs out of his ears. "And it sounded disgusting!" Jake said popping an aspirin that Giles had just handed him. "And that's how it was supposed to sound. Faith did you find those speakers?" Giles asked Faith as she entered the room. 

She nodded, "All hooked up and ready to go." Giles nodded, "Good. Jay would you mind triple wiring it for me so cutting one line won't turn the whole system off?" Giles asked turning back to Jay who had crossed the room and was leaning over Jake's shoulder at the computer. He looked up and grinned. "Good idea, I'll put one on each floor and come back up for the spell. You got some pliers?" He asked. Giles nodded towards a drawer in the kitchen and Jay was off.

Xander appeared out of the living room and announced the pots and pan spell was finished as well as an extra shield spell.

"Are you sure all these are going to work?" Jake asked cocking an eyebrow. Willow emerged out of living room and gave Jake a mock-severe look.

"You don't believe it worked?" She asked looking disappointed. A pot and pan duo raced over silently behind Jake, who was unaware and grumbling something about Willow having 'stupid werewolf hearing' and wasn't supposed to hear that.

Willow let this go on for a few seconds before flicking her hand and allowing the pot and pan to go off. They did and it made Jake jump and pull out a gun. Even Giles snickered. "I. Get. The. Picture." Jake said through his clenched teeth, whilst bashing away the relentless cookware.

Willow smiled lightly and commanded them to stop, the feeling was back with a vengeance and she could just as easily jumped out of her skin then smiled but, but she had to keep her mind off things some how.

Jay came back down the stairs wearing a scowl, "What the hell was that?" he asked tossing the pliers back to Giles. "_That_ was a demonstration of magic." Willow stated.

Jay smiled, "Jake… did you get punked?" He asked crossing his arms. Jake said nothing instead got up and left the room looking grumpy. "So, the monks… You don't think they will get through the barrier too soon. I mean, I used the toughest one I have, but I've seen monks go through them before." Willow asked shifting uncomfortably.

Jay actually laughed, hard. Willow didn't know what to make of it but waited patiently, with confusion biting at her stomach, for Jay to finish. He did promptly, only for her sake, however. Everyone in the room was staring at him and waiting for an explanation. "They aren't really monks, in the 12th century they had to pose as monks in order to begin bringing wolves in from around the country without fear of prosecution. Back then most people believed in werewolves. So they pulled a Pistachio Disguiseo and took up the lifestyle. They never delved deeper than they had too, unless they got interested, and not many got interested. Most of them just did the Zen thing with aromatherapy and meditation, lots of meditation. Most of the time they just used the monk thing for the isolation to the human race." Jay said still smiling.

He shrugged at the looks he got. "I thought it was pretty brilliant." He added. "It is, and I'm glad you decided to tell us _before _we got into this." Faith said looking annoyed. Jay smiled. "Sorry guys, I didn't think it was relevant." Jay apologized. Xander nodded, "But what about the whole 'wax on wax off' thing you had happening upstairs?" Xander asked.

Jay nodded, "All the wolves got taught some kind of fighting, it helped with control and stamina. The Karate Kid thing was just the technique I chose. Not to mention it gave the monks something to do other than sit on their asses and meditate all day." Jay commented. Everyone nodded, it made sense but it didn't make them feel any better knowing all their new opponents were trained, so they got back to business. Willow herded the group into the living room to do one last spell.

* * *

Anya paced the house once again, she had made tea; twice. Paced the house eighteen times and was in the process of using Mrs. Harris's juicer to juice everything in the fridge. 

She couldn't help but feel anxious. The Sunny Dale Crew had never fought without Buffy, she wasn't even sure if Buffy was alive. She didn't even get to say thank you for saving her all the time.

Anya took a sip of her tea and stuck another couple of eggs in the juicer with a bored look on her face. She took slight enjoyment out the crunch and chunks that was produced by the tiny infomercial, three payments of $19.99, machine. So far the rest of Willow's fruit basket, half a cucumber, a five pound sack of potatoes, two apples, some leftover meat loaf, a cardboard-like piece of what she thought was green pepper pizza and the piece of apple pie Spike had written his name on, were now among the eggs in the large pitcher she had sitting in front of her.

When she heard the jeep drive up she almost ran full out to the door. By the time she had swung open the heavy oak door they had the engine stopped she was out the door and pressing her nose against the passenger side window of the red jeep. Connor opened the door and cocked an eyebrow at her. "Anxious or bored?" he asked. "Both actually. How is she, did you guys make it out okay?" Anya asked. "Well obviously we made it out ok." Dawn commented getting out of the jeep and walking around to the back to help Buffy out. Connor followed and they both helped a very conscious Buffy out of the back.

"Anya you have chunks of… something on your shirt." Buffy commented as she passed Anya on the way into the house. Anya glanced down and her brow furrowed, there on her favorite black shirt were chunks of the eggs she had just 'juiced.'

"It's egg, I was making juice." Anya commented as she held open the door. "You normally put eggs in your juice?" Connor asked. Anya just shrugged, "I had nothing better to do." Anya commented leading them into the bathroom and motioning for them to help Buffy onto the counter. "And your letting _her_ stitch Buffy up?" Connor asked Dawn. Dawn nodded, "She knows what she's doing." She stated knowingly. She glanced over at Anya who had just taken off Buffy's shirt to check for other injuries. "Not this time she doesn't." Anya said shaking her head, "I'm not even sure how she's conscious. We need to call Jake." Anya said heading for the phone.

"What do you mean?" Dawn asked slowly as she took a step through the doorway. "She didn't look that bad, I mean yeah, she had that cut and those bruises on her head but she could walk okay." Dawn added watching Anya rush to the phone, significantly paler than before. Dawn took another few cautious steps forward, wondering if she really wanted to see what was on the other side. Buffy was sitting on the counter in only her bra.

She was fine except that there was a huge gash running from just below her bra to just above her bellybutton. It looked like the skin had been burnt off by something large and it had started to bleed again as all the movement had opened the wound once again. Dawn couldn't get over how big it was. Black bruises covered her ribcage so dark they didn't even look like skin anymore. Dawn moved her line of vision up to Buffy's face. She gave her a weak smile. "I'm okay Dawnie, it doesn't hurt much anymore. Thanks for the rescue." Buffy reassured her. It didn't help, Dawn felt tears stinging the back of her eyes.

* * *

It was about time, Willow had about five minutes of dusk left before the moon came out for it's final phase. She was exhausted, all those spells had taken a lot out of her but at least now she was slightly re-assured about the safety of her friends. The earth spells she had used that day didn't suck her energy as most spells did, but she used energy channeled from the earth and used her body as a tunicate. The powerful spells she had used that day had taken some energy from her as well. All that power seemed to have made the beast inside her hungry for more; and she wasn't talking about the wolf either. It took her long moments to get used to not having all that power flowing through her. 

Luckily enough though, she knew she would recover as she always did. Maybe the best part was the magic hadn't seemed to affect the wolf inside of her at all. This was a large relief considering she wasn't sure how it would react. Right now that made no difference.

She was back in her regular bedroom, surrounded by pictures of her friends. Dark orange light pooled over her as she sat on the bed, and waited until it was time to enter the cage in the basement. Her heart was so heavy it was hard to take the next breath. Her thoughts pushed down on top of her and crushed her like an avalanche. After she was the wolf she couldn't do anything else to help them, any of them, she could even hurt them. What if she hurt Xander? How was she supposed to face them after they see what she becomes?

Silent tears fell down her pale cheeks and she shuddered. She wondered what was taking Oz, she didn't want to have to change with Xander in the room, she didn't think she could bare the look on his face when he saw what she became. Her whole body was shaking now, like it did every time the wolf tore out of her skin and came to the surface of her mind. Pins and needles ran up and down her legs and behind her knees and elbows.

Her senses heightened and she could hear everything happening in the house, Jay and Xander were heading towards her room and she stood to open the door before they could knock and swung it open. Jay grinned at her and gave her a wink and Xander cocked an eyebrow questioningly at her. She blushed slightly and motioned for them to lead her into the basement.

Both men immediately sobered and each reached out for a hug. Which Willow took.

* * *

Jake ran down the stairs, just about tripping on the way down, his cell phone still in hand although all you could hear from the receiver was dial tone. Cursing as he tripped on the second last step. He rounded the corner and slid on the linoleum floor with his white socks. Giles looked up at him and raised an eyebrow from the kitchen table. 

"Where's Jay?" Jake asked dropping his phone on the counter. Giles frowned "The basement why?" He asked, then he noticed his phone and caught on, concern crossed over his face and he let out a big sigh. "How bad is it?" he asked. "I don't know, she only said to get over there. They might have tapped the city phone lines." Jake said heading out of the kitchen and to the basement. Giles sighed and took a sip of his tea a worried crease across his forehead, and then he collapsed his head in both his hands.

Jake only saw that much before he rounded the corned and skidded down the stairs, face first into a closed door. Then he knocked, exasperated, he hated being messenger boy. The mumbling voices behind the door stopped and he heard the doorknob being turned, "Jay!" Jake yelled, "Hurry up they need you down at house number one!" he called through the door. He heard a muffled, "Shit." And the door swung open so that he was face to face with his slightly taller friend.

"Gimme a few seconds ok? Or Xander may need me more than Buffy." Jay spoke through his teeth. Jake nodded and got the door slammed back into his face. Just what he needed, he thought taking a few steps back and taking a seat on one of the steps.

"Don't, under any circumstances, look her in the eye, watch when she's in the middle of changing, or touch her at all. Keep her in the cage until either, Oz or I get here. Don't under any circumstances let her out. She has little or no control and she will kill you. Especially when she wakes up after a change in a cage instead of a nice calm forest and with the sounds and smells of fear around her. When she is the wolf, she is not Willow, but a wild and strong animal." Jay was pressing upon Xander in a tone Jake had only heard him use once before. It was a cross between stern teacher and angry cop; Jake was impressed that Jay could even handle that tone with so much seriousness.

"Got it Xander? I know you've seen Oz change before, but you have to realize that it's much different when you see someone you love go through so much pain. Just keep in mind that it's not her. You're there strictly for moral support, Willow needs you and loves you, and the wolf will sense that and calm down a little bit. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm and do what I said. I need to go, stay safe guys. Oz should be here soon." Jay finished in a softer tone before opening the door and slipping through the doorway. Jake stood and searched Jay's face, he didn't look happy about this at all.

Jay met Jake's gaze and scowled, "I hate leaving them here like this." He stated bitterly. Jake nodded, "But someone needs you more right now, lets go." He said nodding. Jay nodded back and felt that familiar tug of Jake's flash as he was transported to Xander's house.

* * *

Oz and Spike were both running towards the house, they were about ten minutes away at the rate they were going as they ran down the middle of the road. Oz could feel the pull of the moon and only quickened his pace. He couldn't leave Willow alone for this, he wouldn't allow himself to, every time he thought about her all he could see was her wolf backed into the corner of the cage. He remembered his time in the cage and shuddered. He did not want to see her that way... ever. 

His lungs were collapsing from the pressure of the long run. He wasn't going as fast as he could have been considering Spike was already running full out and could barely match him. It was probably a good thing; Oz didn't think he could take anymore pain without passing out. His chest was already working as hard as it could so he didn't pass out. Stabbing pain shot through his chest and seemed to be going into his heart. His breaths came out in heavy wheezes.

Spike turned to him and asked something in English, Oz knew automatically it had something to do with stopping and growled, not bothering to translate it into English before quickening his pace even more, it was killing him inside, but he needed to get to Willow, they had a little more than five blocks ahead of them and he could hear something that sounded like pure noise. It was excruciating and the wolf tried to change his course to get away from the sound, but he kept it in check. Jay had the whole house wired for sound and even though it gave away their position, which the C.W.s already knew about anyways, it was brilliant.

Finally, he spotted the source of the unforgiving noise and slowed down ever so slightly to let Spike catch up. He didn't look like he was taking the noise very well either and had both hands over his ears as he ran. He was yelling something Oz could only take as the few choice words for the noise he had in his own head.

Apparently, someone else heard Spike too cause Faith was running out to them from the house and stopped right in front of them. Spike started off on some sort of swearing escapade and Faith said something and gave Spike an Oreo. She inclined her head in Oz's direction and Spike nodded, she tossed Oz a cookie too. Oz was to tired to argue with the fact that there was no logic in running all the way out there to feed them cookies, caught the thing in mid air, and swallowed anyways. He was too busy heading towards Willow's scent to worry about un-logical cookies.

Then he realized he couldn't hear the noises coming from the house anymore, and was slightly impressed but mostly relieved. He took in another sharp intake of air and started off towards the house again. Faith followed behind him with Spike, and he burst through the still open door.

Oz ran full out the basement where he heard Willow crying, fear flowed from the room and filled the house with unease. Which was good considering what was going to happen next. Giles was looking scared as he stared at the gigantic wolf in front of him. Oz snorted and motioned for him to open the door not wanting to waste anymore time. He had to get to Willow.

Spike came up behind him and nodded at Giles who open the door, who did so very cautiously.

* * *

Willow sat alone in the cage; Jay had been nice enough to bring her a blanket, which was now draped over her… more private areas. She was shaking uncontrollably, partly because of the change, but also because she was scared about how Xander would react. All she wanted now was to be alone, but not. She didn't know if she could stand being all alone in a cage. Xander was watching her, he was trying very hard to look ok, like he wasn't scared shitless; but Willow knew the contrary. 

Not only did she know him better to see through his façade, but; she could also hear his heart thumping around in his ribcage like a cornered woodpecker. It was a very tense silence between the two, Willow was too uncomfortable to say anything and Xander wasn't sure what to say to make her feel better, for once. This saddened Willow even deeper. She only knew that there was only one person in the world that would make her feel more comfortable than Xander at the moment, and he wasn't present.

It was Oz, with him, she couldn't help but feel completely at ease, and his demeanor just automatically calmed her down. She couldn't help but yearn for his touch, his calm eyes and his supportive smile. She was so scared; she couldn't help but be so, sitting in a dark corner waiting to change into a carnivorous monster, with her best friend sitting in the room. The change began all at once and slow at the same time.

Tears streamed down Willows face, she couldn't do this with Xander in the room. She couldn't help it. She wanted to scream for him to leave, her heart was pounding in her chest, not only because of the change but because she didn't want him to see her like this. She was sobbing now, it was scaring Xander even more now.

"Xander..." she started, her voice shaky. She was just about to tell him to leave the room when a large amber wolf jumped through the door and motioned for Xander to get out the best he could, which Xander did almost happily as he closed the door behind him.

Willow had never been so relieved to see a bloodthirsty werewolf in her entire life. She couldn't help but think she would be okay now. He had survived, he was okay and he was here for here. After the door closed he went over to her and snuffled quietly and then retreated to another corner of the room and turned his back on her to give her some privacy, and himself some time to rest.

His breathing was so labored she felt a pang of guilt before the pain of the change took over her and instead of crying she was screaming. Oz made whimpering sounds but made no move to look at her or go near her. He knew better than that and he didn't think he could move another inch if he didn't. His whole body was racked with pain and his chest was on fire more than he had ever felt it before.

* * *

Jay finished stitching up Buffy's stomach and looked around at the people in the room. Buffy seemed ok after he gave her something for the pain and now he had to work on her broken ribs. There were at least five and Jay could only imagine what had happened for them all to be broken. He was amazed at how brave she was, she hadn't flinched once and was now looking down at him expectantly so he decided to give her a status report. 

"You might get a bit of a scar on your torso but the wound should heal alright. Your ribs are another story, those will take a few months to heal and you might need some surgery depending on how bad it is." Jay said taking as he put away the stitches and took out some gauze to cover the stitches. Buffy nodded. "No surgery." She said quietly. Jay shook his head, "I can re-position them here but it will be really painful; like bad opera painful. It's probably better if I just wrapped you up and got you to a hospital." Jay said seriously as he applied antibacterial cream to the stitches.

"No surgery." Buffy repeated, "Do it now, I can't go to the hospital." Buffy explained. Jay cocked an eyebrow. "It's not like you have anything to hide Buffy, blood tests are ok for you, your blood is human." Jay said seriously as he pulled a hand through his hair. "You don't understand, I hate hospitals, do it now. Here. I need to be here for everyone. Once you bandage me up I'm going with you guys to the battle." Buffy stated stubbornly.

"You shouldn't be fighting with broken ribs." Jay warned. Buffy glared and Jay backed off, "Fine, do what you want, don't listen to the doctor who knows best, might as well... Just like everyone else I treat." Jay grumbled. Buffy smiled, "Maybe next time." She decided frowning. Jay sighed and got out some more stretchy nylon. "I warned you this will hurt, so don't hate me afterwards. Even if your calling for morphine afterwards; which I don't have with me considering we kind of left the cabin in a hurry." Jay warned waggling a finger in her direction.

Buffy nodded, "Never crossed my mind." She stated. "Or slay me. You can't slay me, I know you have the whole title and birthright but _I'm_ a werewolf, and _I_ am really, _really,_ strong." Jay warned. Buffy laughed, "You keep talking like that wolf boy and I just might have to slay you." She warned. Jay winked at her "We might have to try that out one day." He commented smugly.

Buffy smacked him, "Ouch… ok, ok, no maybe slaying. I'll be a good boy." Jay backed off. "Good, now, Fix my ribs and let's go. Times wasting." Buffy commented crossing her arms. "Persistent aren't you? Take off your shirt again; lets get this over with." Jay said seriously, then he snorted; "Innuendo, I promise." He added glancing over at Buffy who was laughing and trying not to flinch in the process. "Right…" She managed before she pulled off her shirt once again.

Connor walked into the room and frowned. "How long is this going to take?" He asked. Jay frowned, "It depends how bad the breaks are. Get Jake to flash you, Dawn and Anya down to the Summers house if you need something to do." Jay said frowning with concentration. Buffy winced. "Ask him nice though. He can get grouchy before a fight." Jay cautioned pointing to his nose discreetly. Connor snorted and left the room.

"Who the hell is that guy? He reminds me so much of someone." Buffy asked with a frown, Jay had some sweat on his face as he tried to straighten up the second rib. Buffy flinched and let out a little scream. "Sorry…" Jay mumbled. Buffy just straightened again and held her hands over her head.

Jay straightened and took a few deep breaths; he had always hated this part in Med. school. "He's closer to you than you might figure, but I'll let you ask him later." Jay said smugly before going in to straighten the third one. Buffy just rolled her eyes. "Cryptic much?" She asked gritting her teeth and waiting for the mind numbing pain to come once again.

* * *

Spike sighed and headed towards the kitchen, followed closely by Faith who kept glancing up at him with a questioning look on her face. Spike strolled into the kitchen and glanced at Giles who was at the kitchen table sipping tea and then Xander who gave him a questioning glance. 

The room was dead silent for a moment and it seemed like some people didn't even breathe, it was so still. Spike lit a cigarette from his baking soda covered pocket and glanced around the room. Giles was giving him a severe look, like the kind of look his father used to give him when he had come home drunk. Sighing again he took a long drag before looking around the room again.

"She's alright, a little bashed up but she's okay. Dawn and Connor brought he back and I'm guessing called Jake and the Doc." Spike explained quietly. He then proceeded to wipe off his duster, creating a white cloud of baking soda that filled the room.

The room nodded. "The wolves had our scent by the time we got abut half way here. I'm guessing we have about twenty minutes before we start to see the first of them ere." He added glancing around again. The room nodded again and then was silent. Spike took another drag. "Was she conscious?" Xander croaked from the other side of the kitchen. He seemed paler than usual.

Spike nodded and jumped up onto the counter. "Yeah, barely for a while there, but she seemed okay."

"Twenty minutes huh?" Faith asked lighting a cigarette of her own. Spike nodded affirmative. Faith cracked her knuckles, "Let's suit up then." She commented putting her cigarette out on a dirty plate and strode out of the room.

Giles glanced over at Spike who put his own, now spent smoke, onto the plate beside Faiths. "I really wish you two wouldn't do that." He commented before taking a sip of tea. "Get bent _Ripper_." Spike commented leaving the room.

Giles made the 'exasperated noise' again, and glanced over at Xander who shrugged, but a smile was quirking on his face, the noise got louder… Xander had to leave the room. Wishing either of his female friends had been there to witness the monster of all exasperated Giles's.

**_FIGHTING NEXT CHAPTER! I PROMISE. I love the next chapter and it's not even finished yet! Be excited guys, it's gonna be good. No ransom this time as there isn't too much to say about it. I might however, give the next one a ransom. 10 reviews maybe? I'll think about it. Other than that, we'll see how long it takes me to update… hopefully not too long… Peace!_**

**_W-B-D:)_**


	12. Chapter 12, The Beginning of the End

_**Here it is! 00 I didn't think I was leaving too much of a cliffi last chapter but apparently I have been proved wrong… I've had a pacer, a hair puller, and an anxious person to the point of being unhealthy, review… So I have advise to give to those people who can't wait for an new chapter… go out and purchase a stress ball, breath, pace on hard floor and not carpet as to not ruin said carpet, and read and review some of my other fics… If you want one slightly similar to this one read, 'High on the Mountain We Find the Truth', by me. It's older… there's more spelling mistakes… (I was 13-14) BUT, people swear by it. **_

**_DISCLAIMER: You would think after 12 chapters I would stop writing these… hmmm… _**

_**THANKS TO: My anxious reviewers… My beta no longer can fix every chappy… school is keeping her occupied… HOWEVER… THANK-YOU to Evergreen-Baby for the support and help. **_

_**Side note: Quotes will now appear in these last chapters… They fit… I like them… They are staying.**_

**_REVIEW! _**

**CHAPTER 12: The Beginning of The End. **

**_There were torments, madness.  
There were tears, depression.  
Some days, less gloomy,  
brighter, a little kindness. _**

frozen, moving  
trapped for redemption

an angel, a demon  
a werewolf,  
one person.

_**- Quoted from Unknown.**_

The streetlights acted as a moon over head, below the darkening sky. Finally the clouds moved over revealing the last phase of the full waxing moon. Jay stared through the crowd of gathering 'super naturals' from the roof of the Summers house, most of which were on the other side.

He would have to change soon and he knew it but; he couldn't help but stare down his opponents before he had the pleasure of ripping out their throats. Snapping and growling at the base of the shield, Willow had done a good job.

Lightning forked across the sky and lighted the street in front of the large house. Jay had never lived in a house before; well at least he _thought_ he had never lived in a house before. He didn't remember much before the C.W.s and his kidnapper. Just flashes of vague memory, memory he wished he had more of.

Often he wondered what his life would have been like if he had never been bitten. He had never been bitter about it, just curious. Things, he thought, happened for a reason. Some people might call it a higher plan. He liked to call it life, the more shit that happens to you, the more lessons you learn. It was a surreal moment for the 21 year old. Often he had stayed up at night just thinking about all the lessons he had learned.

But today, things suddenly fell into place. Right and wrong meant nothing as long as the cause was one that he believed in. He had struggled to wrap his mind around that before. Jay wasn't a deeply religious man, nor did he think a lot about things like this. Preferring to play the drums, meet women, run through the forest, and drive cars, fast. Today was different. Today he was forced to think about who he really thought was right. Who's cause to support and he stumbled slightly.

He felt like he was turning his back on his family. In fact he was, and yet, his family had allowed themselves to be corrupted by a psychopath as well as, rules written hundreds of years ago to keep the myth of the werewolf alive. Obviously that was no longer needed now. People didn't know a vampire if it was biting them in the neck. They were so blind to the world around them. Too absorbed in their own fluffy lives to look around and see the problems in the world and deal with them accordingly.

The fact of the matter was, that if he didn't want to rip out their throats; he would have never thought of it. But things had been left too far and had gotten out of hand. So much so that things needed a big change before more people got hurt. If this meant hurting someone, that's what it meant, he hated the idea, but he hated a lot of things in life; like asparagus.

Of course sometimes instinct got the better of him, the annoying lady at the bank asking for a third piece of ID might be a good example… yeah, he would have liked to pull her head off but he always could control it.

But this, this seemed different, he was mad. Mad about Sasha, mad about Oz, mad that Buffy had to get hurt, but most of all, he was mad about the monks and what corruption had happened during the years he was a C.W.

His eyes landed on a vampire from the other side. It was a female, albeit a buff female. Her canines already dripping with the blood of a previous kill, her eyes glowed yellow in the looming dark. The classic class C creature of the night, she wasn't much too look at. She glared at him and mouthed a few choice words. A grim smile crossed Jay's face and he decided then that she would be the first to go.

The scent of the slayer's blood still lingered on his hands, no matter how many times he washed them, it was still there. Probably not the best scent to take into battle with a bunch of vampires and werewolves but, Buffy would be fine as long as her stitches didn't come out and the heavy duty antiseptic did its job and protected from infection.

Still she insisted on following her friends into battle. He had to give her props for that, even in a weakened state the slayer was stronger than most people and the pill she had taken for pain would help with just that. Jay stole a glance over to the blond who was chatting with Faith and a wry smile crossed his face, _no worse for wear…_

The on coming storm looming on the make shift battlefield reflected the one in the sky above. A mid-summer storm was brewing overtop of them, wind lashed at his hair and loose clothes. Beige cargo pants and a white shirt. White, he thought being the appropriate colour for one in his situation.

Most of the C.W.'s preferred to wear black. It was ironic somehow that this stood for the bad guys. Wearing white just made him feel like he wasn't doing anything wrong, like he was on the right side of all the indecision looming over the battlefield with all the clouds and chaos.

He glanced up upon smelling the rain about to fall, trees were bending under the strength of the wind and the sky above had turned a striking shade of onyx. In the distance the last of the sun was being overtaken by the swift moving cloud, that was slowly covering the last patch of pinky, California sunset sky.

Rays from that patch hit a tree and turned it a brighter shade then the rest of his surroundings. The sun would be down in a moment. Taking away that last bit of colour with it. A white bird streaked through it on its way to refuge, turning silver against the black backdrop of the sky. But Jay was too far-gone to take it as a sign.

That's when Oz already in wolf form walked over and took its place on his left side, his breath coming in the form as wheezes. But his face didn't show the pain of what he was dealing with on the inside. Scanning the oncoming enemies with a calm and almost placid look. A look that was the complete opposite of what the regular wolf would be feeling, Jay thought. But then again, this was Oz, the ever calm and ever stoic.

The sky's finally opened up and the rain started falling, creating little sparks on the battlefield in front of them. As the rain fell, the smell of the parched ground becoming wet again hit his nose like a slap in the face. It was calming somehow, like the earth was whole again and whatever was up there was with him then.

"Looks like Willow didn't need to do any magic, nature is on our side." Jay said down at Oz. Oz's golden eyes looked up at him and seemed to say that was a good thing. Jay couldn't help but crack a small smile, "I know what you mean man." Jay said running a hand through his now sopping hair. "She'll be alright." He whispered reassuringly to Oz.

As if on cue a coppery wolf walked up beside Oz and snorted at them both, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she let out a low growl towards the coming masses. _My sentiments exactly…_ Jay thought as he took one last look at the looming battlefield, before turning around and drawing his long sword.

Everyone else looked ready for battle as well. Connor and Dawn were side by side, each sporting an array of different weapons; right now both were shooting across the road at the wolves that were being electrified.

Giles had a gun in one hand and was also shooting at the wolves on the ground. Buffy stood behind him and was also helping take out the wolves on the ground. Faith was standing higher up one the roof and had two guns in her hands and was shooting. Jake was nowhere to be seen, but that wasn't hard to believe considering he could be anywhere in the blink of an eye.

Most of the wolves he didn't know, the one's he did know he mostly didn't like. But some, a handful of friends he had had since he was five; were very good friends, he had grown up with them and gone to their birthday parties and they where the first ones he had told after getting laid the first time. It hurt to see them giving him such reproachful looks. Some were more inquisitive more than others. Like they still thought he had something up his sleeve.

Although the full moon was hidden behind the thick black clouds Jay could feel it's pull, the moon was calling its children back to their immortal form.

PQP

Blade stood beside the old monk, a look of contempt plastered on his un-shaved face. Sweat beaded on his forehead and mixed with the unforgiving torrential rains. Odd considering they were in California and in a town called _Sunny_dale. He decided after a second.

There he stood, hating what he was, hating what he changed into on nights such as these, but loving them also. He couldn't help but love what he had become. No, he wasn't human anymore; he was the animal he had hunted since the age of thirteen. At first it had confused him, made him crazy with thoughts of his life turning to hell. He had spent half a year waiting for the ground beneath his feet to crack, swallow him whole, and send him to hell.

That had never happened, and when he finally realized he wasn't condemned to waiting to die, waiting to go to hell for the sin committed to him by the beast that he had hunted for two years and had lost in the process. He got up, dusted himself off and continued to search for the beast that had gotten away.

That search had led him to the very ones he was trying to bring down all those years. Monks. Werewolf monks. He hated them all and loved them as well. They were so strong and powerful, secretive and polite; but under all that lay the monsters they were. The monster he had become. He still hated them. He still wanted to kill them. They were abominations to the human race.

Even though he was one of them. As much as he hated that thought, he could still destroy them all, out of spite, out of the sheer pleasure of ridding the world of the monsters that lurked under the surface of humanities many veils. He maybe one of them, but he wasn't going to play by their rules. He wasn't going to except what he was, and go into hiding. He was fighting in full glory, for revenge, before to killing the animal he had started to kill and had failed.

He. Blade; would not sit down and take failure. He would destroy the beast, like he had the beast's mate and then reveal to the humans what lurked in the shadows of the night, under the glow of a full moon. Then he would have his ultimate revenge and watch as the animals that surrounded him now; be slaughtered.

Every household in America would have a high power assault gun containing silver bullets. Then he would watch the blood of his unknowing comrades flow down the streets. Fill every state penitentiary that would hold the beasts and his life's work would finally be fulfilled and he would then feel enough dignity to put a silver bullet through his head and die with pride filled heart.

The man standing to his left was the leader of the monks, Kea, a fierce fighter and a trusting idiot. Everything that Blade had fed him had been a lie. He had told him that once the humans knew of them that they would worship the wolves like gods. Worst of all was that the man standing beside him, believed him. Yes, the animal standing beside him was almost as power hungry as he once was, when he was as a human. The sad part was that the animal beside him was almost four hundred years old.

Kea wanted the fame. Kea wanted to be recognized as the powerful leader of the werewolves. He wanted the wolves to come out of hiding and be greeted into the world with open arms. He seemed to think that wolves were the superior race. Blade knew better, werewolves were soulless abominations; Blade knew what he was, and he knew how humans would respond to werewolves coming out of hiding. Just like he had responded… with a load of ammunition and a 45', which suited him just fine.

As he stood watching the various animals come out of hiding. Ready to fight for the cause he had given them. Ready to watch them destroy some of their own. This brought on an almost giddy glee in Blade. Glee that he recognized as his own plan coming into play almost flawlessly.

Yes he had a battle to fight, but the blood pumping in his ears and the headache making it's way up his temple was nothing. The fight would be nothing. There were 12 on the other side and a hundred of his side. There was nothing keeping him from his goal but a small pile of bodies.

Kea looked up at him and chuckled slightly at his expression, "Soon, _soon_ we will find a place in the world that has banished us. Don't be so impatient, even as the moon wanes over head and you feel it's pull call you to nature, stand your guard." He stated calmly.

Even over the noise the house had been programmed to project; it seemed that Kea could reach a man with the smallest whisper. He had a natural presence that just called for attention. But he also had a natural greed that raked through his gift, and that alone, had truly lead to his demise, and would eventually lead to the downfall of his extended life and with any luck, his extended race.

As Blade had been forced to find out, the man was a wolf in sheep's clothing in both ways. "Don't let the noise get to you my boy! It's only a mild attempt to keep us from our goal." Kea had an animalistic glimmer in his eye now.

Blade found himself almost taking a step back from the sheer volume of Kea's words; but instead just blinked and pulled out his Mk 23.0 OHWS (Offensive Handgun Weapon System). Consisting of a 12-shot .45Caliber ACP auto pistol, a Laser Aiming Module (LAM), and a suppresser, a bulky but deadly-accurate handgun normally issued to members of the American Special operations community, seeing service with the Navy SEALs and Army Special Operations Forces (Green Berets). It was his favourite.

He then began shooting at the impenetrable shield that bubbled between him and his only ticket to showing the world what truly lay in the shadows of a dark night; when everything was so still you could hear leaves shudder over head and silent foot steps pacing in front of your front door. Waiting for their next meal…

PQP

The Willow wolf's heart raced as she stared out at the masses of beings pacing back and fourth across a now visible shield of energy. Fear made her muscles tighten and made her jump at the smallest sound. Sounds were everywhere, pops came from metal tubes every few seconds as she glanced behind her and saw humans for the first time since she had been brought fourth from with in.

Her eyes widened and her heart fluttered nervously as she took a few steps backwards, until the pads on the bottom of her feet hit the edge of the roof she was standing on. She took one look back and saw the large vertical drop, before a low mournful whine escaped her closed jaw. There was nowhere she could go. Realization stuck her like the lightning that streaked across the dark sky.

She had been sent to hell. To a hellish concrete jungle as a punishment… or something; she wasn't sure. Why was she here? Where was that soft forest floor and the running stream. Where was the beautiful shimmering stars above the golden full moon, which had made her heart soar and her spirits fly? The place where she could run like she was flying instead, so fast everything became a blur and her feet felt like nothing at all.

Even standing there on the platform (roof) above the gathering werewolves and other creatures was hurting the soft pads under each paw. There she was, fury simmering under her fiery red coat. So much anger she shook, _how dare they take away my kingdom… _There was no more moon, no more stars… those had been taken away from her; the only thing that replaced them now was a charcoal black sky bringing down more freezing cold water on her, as unforgiving as the humans standing with her.

Whoever had did this to her was going to have to pay. She NEEDED to get back to where she had been before. To the only home she had ever known… and standing there wasn't helping anything. She glanced back behind her and saw those humans that kept making the horrible noises. They were close enough.

A low growl emitted from the pit of her stomach as she turned on them now. Some glanced at her, their hollow eyes fearful or maybe just tired. She didn't care; they were going to pay for taking her here. She took a step foreword, towards the nearest of them, a male, tall, dark brown hair, standing beside a smaller female, who had stopped shooting and was biting her lip as she and the wolf made eye contact. The male looked down at her as well but didn't meet eye contact. He then pulled the other female behind him and looked up at someone standing behind her.

They were going to pay, blood was going to gush as she tore her teeth through the human's flesh. She had woken in a cage, only to be dragged to this hell. Revenge would happen. Then she felt something clamp down on the loose skin behind her neck. She growled viciously and snapped at him to try to shake him off. He held on and growled lower than she could, and she finally twisted her neck enough to look into the golden wolf's eyes.

_He was here too… but why? What was it they had done to deserve this hell? Why wasn't he mad too… _She glared into his calm eyes and stopped in her tracks. He wanted to be here. No. He needed to be here, she wasn't sure why. Anger still simmered in the pit of her stomach and the werewolf swallowed down bile that had risen.

Slowly he released his grip on her neck and backed away. Silently she bid him why; why she was out here with him, standing on a roof in a forest of cement like sitting prey. A voice broke in the back of her mind and came with words she recognized as a forgotten language… a mere memory, as these words were,

'_People like us just can't have normal predictable lives. Sure that's what we want and sure that's what we strive to accomplish everyday, but sooner or later we have to just give up hope and accept the fact that it's just not in the cards. Everyone knows it, buries it in the back of their mind but, we never want to bring the horrible thought to the surface…' _He had said it before. It had proved to be true. Now she remembered why she was here. She was fighting for a dream, for a right to be free, to go back to that forest.

She looked across the vast street of gathered beings, from all walks of life waiting outside the energy field, hoping to be the first to spill her blood; to spill _their_ blood. She looked towards the golden wolf again, into his eyes and saw the same anger she felt. She heard one of the humans clear his throat and looked up only to smell more wolf, she recognized the brown wolf immediately for what he was. _Why wasn't he what the moon had called him to be?_ She pondered for a second.

Not for long however, cause at that time an explosion made her jump. Things were hitting HER shield; she stared through the rain at the person who was causing the shield to shimmer. Their gazes suddenly locked onto each other's through the shield and he called to her mentally. She felt her feet obeying before she could even think about it, when she did however, she stopped. The Golden wolf was gazing at her dumbfounded and finally made a move to put his paw onto one of hers. To make sure she stayed.

She didn't, she sized up the height of the roof, backed up a little and jumped off. Upon hitting the ground she started at a run towards the shield. She could hear the brown wolf call something from behind her but ignored it; intent on the fact that she needed to fight her way through the crowd to her maker.

PQP

"Shoot her!" Was Blade's only command, he made that bitch and he would take her down. She had finished her job by bringing the mutt to him. Vampires took up the weapons that they had brought with them and fired. The red wolf was nothing but a streak coming towards them, she was just about to break through the shield when he noticed something hovering right behind her.

She seemed to notice as well as she skidded to a halt just outside of the shield and growled at the air above her. A man dropped from the sky, well Blade couldn't exactly call it a man, the thing had wings Goddamn it! He clutched a large gun under his arm but made no move to use it. Instead he looked her directly in the eyes and took a step into her path.

He could hear her growl from there and the thing walked closer to the house. She followed. Blade couldn't believe that shit. He then noticed the mutt had made its way down from the roof and into the yard where his creation and the _thing_ now stood. Slowly the mutt manipulated his creation enough to get it to go closer to the house.

Blade just enjoyed the show, they would have to come out eventually, they had no food, no water and they were surrounded. He only wished that he could have made their demise sooner.

The he realized something, the witch; the one he had turned, had likely made the shield that was keeping him out. Now all he had to do was bring her back and make her take down the shield. He called his pawn out again and she listened begrudgingly to what he had to say.

The thing he had seen before with the wings, had transported it's self onto his side and was now drawing fire in mid air. Mocking what ever would aim and shoot at him. It disappeared before a bullet had time to hit him and ended up somewhere else in the sky. Not flying, just… transporting. It was bullshit, if they stopped shooting he would just shoot another vampire. Blade couldn't help but wonder what the enemy had planned behind the ball of energy.

PQP

Jay had been scared. Really scared when Willow had turned tail and started off towards the army in front of them. If Jake hadn't gotten there when he had, Willow would have died. No question about it. When they had brought her back, her eyes had a panicked look in them and he wondered what the hell was going on inside her head.

"What the hell just happened there?" Xander exclaimed catching even Jay by surprise as Xander placed a hand onto his shoulder. "You know that Blade changed Willow right?" Jay asked Xander, swallowing his own shame and hoping to figure something out as he explained. Xander nodded, paling slightly from the shade of red he had been just before.

"Well when someone changes someone else into a werewolf the one who bit them has a certain amount of control over the one he, in this case, changed. Not many wolves know about this, or even if they do know they sure as hell don't use it. It's HUGE disrespect; obviously Blade doesn't care about that. He probably learned that skill from my good old friend Kea, the leader of the monks, although, he doesn't deserve that title if he's teaching people mind control. Blade is using mind control on Willow's werewolf to lure her and us out of the shield that she created." Jay explained his fists clenching.

Jay glanced behind him and saw Oz coming up from the window of Dawn's room. His breathing worse than before, Oz motioned towards the blur on the other side of the shield and Jay realized Jake was drawing fire so that they could think of something. He had no ideas. Then he heard a very human scream coming from Dawn's room and realized what Blade had planned.

"Shit…" Jay muttered as he ran towards the window. "Willow!" He exclaimed hoping to God that he could reach her in this form before Blade could. He jumped into the window and found her back in human form, pulling on that oversized t-shirt again. Her eyes caught his attention immediately, the pupils had taken over her who eye, leaving black holes where her once green eyes had lit up her face.

She turned towards him at the sound of her name and started towards him. For a split second he thought he still had her; he had been wrong. She opened her mouth and an un-Godly voice filled the small room with a male voice and vibration. "You will not stop me mutt, she will do what I tell her and I'm telling her to take down your weak attempt of a shield!" Blade's voice screamed through Willow's small shaking body.

Power erupted from her whole form and filled the room with electricity. She pushed past Jay who was helpless in this situation, if he killed this… thing, he would be killing Willow. He could only follow her out the window.

Everyone on the roof watched, fear and raw emotion ebbed to the surface as they watched their best friend float instead of walk to the edge of the roof and begin working the spell to close the shield. All of them somehow snapped out of it at once as they prepared themselves for the on coming torrent of gun-fire that was coming their way regardless of what they did to stop Willow. She was beyond stopping now.

Sickening sadness and remorse filled Jay's throat as he watched Willow, being used as only a puppet to Blade's will, jerkily go through the hand gestures of the spell. Her weakened little body raked with shaking, as it fought the change, the fatigue, and the man inside of her head. Her pale body standing out against all charcoal sky as the rain fell relentless and unforgiving on her half naked body. It was almost more than he could stand.

The shield wavered and finally disappeared. All twelve of them were left without a shield over their heads. In the words of Jake, they were all fucked. Jay was less concerned with the group of bullets coming towards him, but for Willow.

She had dropped from where she had been floating, with a sickening splat, and was now lying on the roof of the house, not moving and soaking wet. Her pale skin was almost liquid. Her body shook as the fatigue hit her. Oz stood, still in wolf form over her body protectively. Jay and Xander ran to her and Jay held her in his arms. Her eyes were back the way they were supposed to be now, but were quickly filling with tears as she started to sob.

"He took over me! I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I tried to hard…" She managed to get out. Jay shushed her and told her it would be ok. It took her a while, but she finally stilled. She then looked up into Jay and Xander's blazing eyes. "No." She said finally in a stronger voice than Jay thought finally. "It won't be ok." She stated, she stood slowly but deftly and faced the on coming army of 'supernaturals' approaching the house.

"It won't be ok until _he_ gets what he deserves." She spat the last sentence before magicking herself off the roof and into the oncoming battle. Her friends joined her fluidly on their way to the battlefield. She held nothing in her hands, she didn't need a weapon, her tired, but relentless body contained all the magic she needed to stay alive.

Oz stayed glued to her side the entire time and was now walking a pace in front of her his breathing raked his whole body with pain, but he had a score to settle. He glanced back at Willows determined body and hit the first vampire in the chest before it had a chance to react. He severed the head and went onto the next one, carving a path towards the man who stole his life as he went.

PQP

Blade watched with cold hate burning in his eyes as his little creation and his archrival made their way through his army like a hot knife through butter. The only comfort reaching his mind was the fact that he would soon have both hands wrapped around Osbourne's neck. Then the world would be free of protest and the wolves would reveal themselves to the world, only to face their demise.

Maniacal laughter forced its way to the surface and Blade let it out joyfully; happy to be amongst the carnage. Then he had a wonderful idea. An idea he wished he had thought of before, as he watched both slayers fight their way through a large throng of werewolves in order to clear a path for the witch, who was managing to shoot liquid silver at each wolf that fell.

Jayson, as he had learned what his name was, was using his kantana to carve a path through the other side. Flanked by two minors a male and a female both toting guns obviously loaded with silver. A blond vampire had two vampires cornered and was using obvious street style hand to hand to take out the other two.

Two men had taken it amongst themselves to take out all the vampires and were hurling vials of holy water at the army. They were by no means winning, but helping all

the same, they would soon be dead.

Blade watched as one of his hired vampires got beheaded quite brutally by Osbourne and decided to put his plan into action. "Bring out the cannons!" He exclaimed to the reserves behind him. Most of them happily obliged.

PQP

Oz walked through the carnage in a dome of fake calm. The only thing keeping the rage in check was the fact that this might end, and he might finally end this tonight. He tore out the throat of the nearest vampire, before turning onto an already changed werewolf, his canines barred.

Jake materialized behind him, his arm bleeding. "Oz he's taking out cannons of some kind, watch yourself." Jake cautioned stepping out of the way of the opposing werewolf and shooting it in the head. Oz glanced up at Jake with his golden eyes and snorted, his lungs burning before watching as Jake disappeared once more and appear near Faith.

_Cannons… not good…_ he thought wondering for a second how they carried cannons all the way there. Ignoring the caution he moved up another few meters to face the next creature on his way to meet Blade.

He glanced up when he could spare it, in an attempt to see where Blade was standing, but he couldn't see anything. _C'mon c'mon, where's Waldo…_ he thought frantically as the first of the cannons fired. It sent a violent tremor through the ground and it shook. The Oz-wolf almost lost it's footing as the ground shook, he glanced around to see where the cannon ball had fell and saw it had landed closer to him than anyone else. They knew where he was.

PQP

Willow watched the first of the cannon balls fall closer to Oz than she felt comfortable with, the silver she was pulling from the earth wasn't going to last very long and she already felt tired. She knew she couldn't last much longer. She looked up ahead and saw that Faith's lip was bleeding. Buffy was slowing down as well, her chest was heaving in and out with more energy than she was exerting on the nearest werewolf.

Willow took up the last of her silver and shot it at the werewolf, which collapsed. Buffy glanced behind her and gave her a weak smile. Willow nodded, and was about to return that smile before another shot rang out in the night. Willow watched as this time in horror as the cannon ball loomed over the Oz-wolf. With the strength she had left in her body she tried to magic the cannon ball away from him but she had spotted it too late.

She began to run towards him, nothing around her mattered she was going to save him. She realized then… she didn't this she could live without them.

PQP

The shot landed just to the left of him and it threw him to the ground with more force than he had ever witnessed in his life. Gathering his wits about him and standing on feeble legs be began to run. The whole scene seemed surreal, like all of the vibrant colour had been sucked out of the world and sound was coming from behind a pane of glass.

The world seemed to be going incredibly slow and even though he was running as fast as he could, he seemed to be moving at the rate of a slug. The world seemed to pulse and shake as he ran and then he realized that it was his heartbeat, slow and steady, it pulsed down on him like a giant hand pushing him into the ground at each interval.

Smoke brushed past his face making his eyes burn and water, showing him visions of blur and colours streaming past his ears. He couldn't even feel his padded feet crashing in the hard ground anymore, and he started to wonder if he was floating. The pins and needles in his legs told him everything he needed to know. His mind that had been silent for what seemed like forever; finally decided that he was dead. Then he felt the falling sensation. As another cannonball hit.

_Silk curtains billowing in the spicy night air, once again he was brought back the wood floors. The last time he died. In the puddle of crimson blood, silver dagger in hand. The breaking point adds a bit of drama to all the pain. Tried so hard to make a dent in all this shit and came up with nothing but a feeling of foreboding._

_Like walking against the wind and into the belly of the beast. It beats you down and you get back up, again and again, you get back up. Living life with as much compassion and politeness as possible only to be shot back down to the ground once more, to be turned on by who you once considered friends. Finally the straw breaks and you stay down, fighting all your life your back breaks and you no longer have the strength to carry on._

_Briefly you look up and a ghost of a smile crosses your face as you see the bleak future, and the one standing at your side fighting with all of the muster you once possessed. Hope just a shimmer of what it once was, yet it's still there, slowly getting up and taking the beating once more. The question is; will that shimmer grow or go out. A shuddering sigh goes through your body; all the strength that once was, has diminished, as yet another soul is lost to the darkness._

_**You tell me that I sin.  
You say I'm bound for Hell.  
So once your judgment condemns you,  
I shall see you there.**_

_**Quote, not sure where I found it…**_

_**OK… If this cliffi doesn't kill you, you have passed W-B-D's 12-step course on how to be a more tolerate reader. REVIEWS WILL MAKE ME UPDATE FASTER! I could have made it worse… as you will find out in ch.13. It gets bad. Kind of proud of this chapter… It feels like I'm back to the heart of what this fic is about… haven't felt so happy with it since chap. 3 or 4. **_


	13. Ch 13, We Won't Go Down in History But

Okay, it took me longer than I thought, but I got a new shiny beta and made this chapter as interesting as possible. Hopefully it's okay. There are only a few chapters left, four and then the epilogue. The epilogue will NOT be PG. try more 14.A. –hint- cough –hint- Those of you big W.O. fans will be very happy with the epilogue and so will I, cause right now that's the inspiration I need to keep writing. Next chapter is very difficult to write, so it might take a little longer.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the storyboard and the poem in the beginning, someone should tell me what they think about that by the way. I own Jay, Jake, Sasha, monks(this includes evil and ghost) and Blade. Song props go to Davey Havok and AFI, A Perfect Circle, and Sarah McLaughin. PLEASE NO SUE, this be free publication and your songs inspire me!**

**Thanks to: Much love to my new beta x-Teh-Skittles-Alchemist-x She did an awesome job with this chapter and it didn't take her long at all. –tips hat at Skittles- Thanks to Evergreen-baby for listening to me whine about the whole story and putting in her two cents! And as always thanks to the reviewers and the readers for putting up with constant cliff-hangers and for reviewing, The support you all give me makes me so happy, cause I really need it! THANKS ALL!**

**Chapter 13: And We Won't Go Down in History But…**

_**Broken hearts **_

_**Bring broken minds**_

_**Kneeling in the sea, faith lost**_

_**Where the heart sees fit to bleed and die**_

_**Always being broken **_

_**Suffer the days through to another year**_

_**Burnt like the skin that won't mend**_

_**He broke it all**_

_**Revenge is substance in this broken mind of his**_

_**Where the time is less woven **_

_**And more cemented in place**_

_**Hell was on earth today**_

_**Back pained**_

_**Feet throbbed**_

_**Everything was falling apart**_

_**Then…**_

_**I closed my eyes and I was there**_

_**Transported to the past**_

_**Where the grass beneath my feet **_

_**Is so long**_

_**So lush**_

_**So soft**_

_**It seemed like falling into heaven**_

_**Cherry blossoms fell**_

_**Streams whispered ancient secrets **_

_**And my eyes shone**_

_**Tracing my fingers across the carved stone**_

_**Over the ancient words **_

_**Written in a language no one remembers**_

_**The present just a faint whisper in my ear**_

_**Then a windy, shuddering sigh…**_

**Back into hell. – Writer-by-day**

Fear ebbed it's way to the surface as Willow ran. Choked and shaking, as she asked herself how she was going to survive without him. He had been all she had left to hold onto in her life before; and now he was gone. Blade had had his revenge.

_Spend all your time waiting  
for that second chance  
for a break that will make it okay  
There's always some reason  
to feel not good enough  
and it's hard at the end of the day_

Sobs escaped her mouth and she was soon watching the world through swimming eyes. She heard Jay's voice yell from behind her but she kept going; not wanting to turn around and face what was behind her. An explosion was set off to her right hand side and she was almost blown off her feet. She couldn't have lost him; there was no way. Another explosion rang out to her left this time and she was thrown off her feet and hit the cold pavement below.

_I need some distraction  
Oh, beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
I may be empty  
and weightless, and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight_

She obeyed her body's erg to cough and found herself inhaling dirt. All she could smell was overwhelming smoke, dirt and the blood of both her comrades and enemies. The side of her face that his concrete stung as tiny pins and needles raced through her cheek and down her spine. Someone stomped on her head, a boot rubbing her face into the dirt. It didn't matter… Oz was gone.

_In the arms of the angel  
Far away from here  
From this dark, cold hotel room  
And the endlessness that you feel  
You are pulled from the wreckage  
Of your silent reverie  
You're in the arms of the angel  
May you find some comfort here_

She couldn't fight back, it was too strong; she was dead, the weight was un-bearable, she could feel her ribcage collapsing under the weight of the other boot. The last thing she heard was a rumbling laugh, "And my little protégé comes to her deserved end…" a deep tenor snarled. As quickly as it had come into view, the world went black once more.

_So tired of the straight life  
And everywhere you turn  
There's vultures and thieves at your back  
Storm keeps on twisting  
You keep on building the lies  
That you make up for all that you lack  
It don't make no difference  
Escape one last time  
It's easier to believe  
In this sweet madness  
Oh, this glorious sadness  
That brings me to my knees_

* * *

Jay had watched both his friends fall from a distance helplessly, there was nothing he could of done. He had heard Xander let out a small cry and fall to his knees, he heard Giles stop completely, a sob escaping his mouth. He glanced around and saw Jake looking him directly in the eye. Jay wished he could feel emotion, any emotion, but he remained numb. His heart was wreathing and breaking in his chest. **_  
_**

_You're in the arms of the angel  
May you find some comfort here_

Jake's russet/aqua coloured eyes pierced his, concern hidden briskly by all out seriousness. Jay just shook his head and glanced to the ground, covering up his own emotion before, motioning towards the two men falling apart behind him. Jake rolled his eyes. It was a funny gesture for one who thought of himself as above teenage actions. He then popped over beside Jay.

"You werewolves have to be the most idiotic beings on the damn planet. Shit, I don't even think your damned ex-leader realizes that what happened means nothing. Fuck Jay look me in the damn eye and tell me you are smarter than what I'm thinking right now." Jay said nothing and looked away, tears glimmering in the back of his eyes. The truth was killing him from the inside out.

"This is bull shit! They aren't dead! They didn't die anywhere near silver, they weren't decapitated with silver… they aren't dead." Jake said a little louder than Jay felt comfortable with. He ran a hand through his soaking, ice cold, hair and brought his hand down. Jake was getting pissed off now.

"Will you talk to me?" Jake exclaimed, frustrated, staring through the veil of rain once again. Jay nodded, finally deciding to talk, not sure if he could however. "I get that they'll come back, hell I've seen it happen; _but_, you don't seem to know what can happen to those of us that go out in a time of crisis. You also don't seem to understand that, even though we're immortal, we can _feel pain._" Jay stopped for a second and realized he was shaking with emotion.

Jake's jaw was locked. Jay took a few more seconds to calm down before speaking again, taking another breath and slowly letting it out. Glancing around and noting that, Buffy, Faith, Connor, Dawn and Spike were all still in heated conflict with the lessoning army of creatures. If they had noticed their friends go down, they weren't showing much sign of it. If anything it was making them fight harder, feeding their internal fires.

Jay sighed and looked back up to his friend. "Oz already had a lot of silver in his system. You know that, even if you didn't, his breathing is a constant reminder to anyone who didn't know, that internally, he's injured. He may just act like it's a nuisance, but I can see it in his eyes. It's killing him a little bit every time he needs to get his lungs moving; and from the sound of them tonight…" Jay took a deep breath and glanced around him again, willing himself to keep forming words.

"From the sound of them tonight, it's not very likely that he's going to get up." Jay finished turning away from Jake and kicking the nearest corpse. Jake spat every word he had ever learned to be bad in rapid succession and looked over the battlefield in an attempt to ward off thoughts of his friend's funeral.

"That's not the worst of it…" Jay whispered. He was finding it easier to talk now. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Some say the best part about being a werewolf is the immortality, but no one ever mentions we still feel the same amount of pain, most of the time if we are mortally wounded most of us would rather die, the pain is unbearable. Willow's going to wake up with multiple fractures, in more pain than I'm going to be able to treat, pain that she shouldn't be able to feel, cause her body's supposed to be dead. Sure, while she's out it allows time for her body to heal a little bit. Maybe just enough to keep her together, not much else" Jay explained. Jake sighed. "This isn't going to help shit, you know that." Jay just sighed, the 'duh' moment going unrecognized by the two of them.

Jake motioned for him to pick up his sword again and disappeared just as a new foe came into Jay's view. Anger made his swing even more brutal and the head of one of his old friends hit the ground with a sickening thunk. Jay even didn't blink, much less, think twice about his actions, they had taken someone else from him now... he was done.

He felt someone behind him and turned swiftly. There was the man that had made this all possible. Kea. In the flesh, not over a staticy cell phone, but standing quite serenely on behind him, disconcerting, I think so.

"Hello Jayson." Kea stated mildly, in a voice that was more like greeting an old friend, then the person that turned his back on his family. Serenely Kea stepped over the body of the person Jay had just killed. Jay glared, ignoring the monk's annoying expression.

"I thought I should tell you… before ripping you're head off for the murder of a fellow werewolf and abandoning the _Civilized Werewolves_. That if you had carried out our initial order of termination of Daniel Osbourne you would have been appointed to my second, and later my processor. You don't seem to understand Jay, you were good, you have a good mind, followed instructions, and you are obviously excellent fighter. On top of that impressive standing you could take the risk. The only question we had been of your loyalty. Now we know that's where you stand. You've done a lot of stupid things since Daniel's mate died, and now you must learn that mistakes cannot be tolerated." Kea spoke delicately.

Jay stayed frozen, for 17 years of his life he had followed this man with out question. Idolizing him like the perfect model of himself, and now Kea disgusted him. He had to stop himself from snarling by looking away. "Aww you're just saying that to raise my self-esteem." Jay snapped. Kea chuckled.

_So glad to see you well_

_Overcome and Completely silent now  
With heaven's help  
You've cast your demons out  
And not to pull your halo down  
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud  
But I'm more than just a little curious  
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends  
To the dead  
To the dead_

Jay watched as he bent over to examine the body he had just stepped over, cold nothingness taking over his eyes before letting out a slightly annoyed sigh and closing the dead man's eyes. "I know you knew Edward, and yet you viciously murdered him like he was nothing but an annoying fly buzzing around your head. Comradely used to mean so much to you and you turn your back on all of them for a female mutt. You realize she did nothing for us to help us move ahead. She refused to join us and become one of the many proud faces of centuries of tradition and sanctuary to the newly turned." Kea glanced up at Jay from the ground and Jay almost snapped.

_  
Recall the deeds as if they're all  
someone else's  
Atrocious stories  
now you stand reborn  
before us all  
so glad to see you well_

"She saved all of us from being murdered by Blade. She didn't have to, as you mentioned she wasn't apart of our society, but she did out or respect and mutual friendship. She withstood months of torture and rape without saying a word about where we were operating. I now see that she had the right idea about joining the C.W.s. You guys are doing a good thing by taking werewolves off the street and teaching them to control what's inside of them. But after that you don't give a shit. Someone tried to help you, someone most definitely saved you a lot of bloodshed and you left her there to die without honour. If it doesn't affect you personally, Kea, or the way your operation works than it doesn't matter to you. That's not the way to run something that means so much to so many people." Jay spoke determinedly through gritted teeth.

_And not to pull your halo down  
Around your neck and tug you to the ground  
But I'm more than just a little curious  
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends  
To the dead  
To the dead_

"You didn't honour her memory, you didn't even try to go talk to Oz about what he thought. You snapped Oz like a twig and left him alone to god knows what end would have happened. You sent me, his best friend to go kill him. 'Get rid of the problem' you said. You think you're fighting the monsters that threaten us, but you should have been more careful you didn't become one yourself. So many werewolves give into their wolf's natural instinct and you took them out. You're just one of them now. Granted, you aren't living on the street, living off yourself to hunt and survive. You have everything you've ever needed brought to you on a golden platter. Most of them watched their regular lives rot and fall away. You can't even see yourself anymore." Jay continued ruthlessly as he watched Kea slowly get angrier. He didn't care anymore. This guy needed a wake-up call, pronto.

_With your halo slippin' down  
your halo slippin'  
your halo slippin' down  
your halo slippin' down_

"You don't even seem to realize that you have with you, the man who murdered thousands of us. Instead you two seem to be becoming quite good friends." Jay finished, and looked down realizing he had been clutching his Kantana so hard the handle had been slightly crushed. He swore.

_Your halo slippin' down  
I'm more than just a little curious  
how you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends  
_

"He has changed." Kea stated watching Jay coldly. "He is helping us reveal ourselves to the world. Then we shall get the recognition we have always deserved. Humans will beg us to be turned." He added his eyes glimmering with anticipation.

_I'm more than just a little curious  
how you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends… to _

Jay wasn't sure whether to laugh of shake his head. He settled for both. "You really don't know what you've walked into have you?" Jay asked, enjoying the look of contempt of Kea's face. Jay shook his head.

_With your halo slippin' down  
your halo's slippin' down to choke you now_

"The humans aren't going to worship you. They're going to kick your ass. It's like you haven't noticed that we are living in the United States of America, the land of the scared puppies hiding behind their guns and nuclear weapons. If you tell the world monsters that can kill them without a second thought are living amongst them, they are going to go ballistic. Have you not seen X-Men?" Jay asked. Then he realized Kea probably hadn't and sighed.

"I've put my trust in Blade. Like you should have put you trust in me and killed Daniel when you had the chance." Kea sneered. Something in Jay snapped.

"Don't call him Daniel." Jay growled, his eyes flashed and he felt the familiar pangs of the change up and down his arms, legs and back. Kea stepped back, watching with cold eyes, as Jay dropped his sword and began the change, but he stopped part way. So the wolf and the human shared the body fifty-fifty. Kea blanched, he had never seen that done before.

"You want to kill me. Let's go." Jay growled. Kea's gaze stiffened and he picked up Jay's dropped sword. Without warning he jabbed it in Jay's direction, but Jay had been ready and jumped out of the sword's path before it had time to plunge into his stomach. "Too slow." Jay commented as they circled fierily. Kea snorted and swung again, barely missing Jay's neck.

Sighing Jay ducked and grabbed his mentor's legs and thrust his body forward, knocking the four hundred year old man to the ground. He got up swiftly and they then engaged themselves in lighting fast hand to hand. Jay was moving faster than he had ever moved in his entire life. His movements were swift and fluid as he caught every blow Kea managed to swing his way.

Finally both men parted, Kea was panting, his old body contorting with effort. Jay wasn't much better, his arm was bleeding, and Kea's leg had a long gash running the entire course of his calf, and half way up his leg. Seconds passed by as each man sized up his opponent. Jay watched as the gash on Kea's leg healed completely and suddenly didn't feel as bad. This man had lived 400 years, and still had the weaknesses of a man the age of twenty-one. He let his greed over through the abilities and daftness he contained and it turned him into the monster that everyone thought of when they thought of a mutt. Something that Sasha was so far from, he couldn't even begin to fathom.

Kea lunged at him in a swift motion and Jay pulled the only weapon he had bothered to carry with him, (other than his sword) and swiftly stabbed his old master in the back. Just like his master had done to countless other individuals that had remained nameless faces in his foggy memory. With that, Kea was dead, the silver dagger he had kept hidden for five years now, since he had met Oz.

It was over like it had started, abruptly. Jay stared at the motionless body of Kea, angry tears filling his eyes. Then he glanced at the body of his best friend. It was bittersweet, and it would remain bittersweet. His gaze then went to those around him still fighting. It wasn't over yet; his troops weren't looking too good anymore, so he decided to call a bit of a meeting…

* * *

Willow woke up slowly; the world came into view through her dazed eyes. Rubbing her head she wondered where all the noise had gone. She prayed silently that it had all been a dream. Then she realized she was looking a blue sky. The world around her smelt lush and green and she got up abruptly. 

This definitely wasn't where she had left off. Sorrow filled her chest as the memory returned to her, as she watched Oz fall in her mind's eye. Was… was she dead? She pondered this thought for a moment, biting her lip. She stopped when she tasted blood. No, she couldn't be dead, everything felt… solid.

She took a few deep breaths before opening her eyes to view her surroundings again. A warm, light, wind tickled her face and she had to blink once more to make sure that she wasn't hallucinating. Bamboo chimes sounded in the breeze and she felt herself calm a little.

She was in a courtyard, a beautiful courtyard. Lush, bright green grass covered the ground below her bare feet. Cherry blossom trees loomed above her and caught the breeze lazily, leaving her in what looked like a snowfall of pink petals. For a second her heart soared and she twirled in the storm of pink, forgetting for just a fragment of a second where, or even who, she was.

She caught a petal and felt it, just to make sure it was real. It was, and it was also slightly wet with a few drops of pure water, so soft it was like velvet. Willow glanced around again; to her left was a small pond, complete with lily pads and large orange and white Coy. A wooden building surrounded her and intricate carvings covered the walls and banisters leading to the small courtyard. It was done in a bit of an Asian style; the roof was covered in small red brick slates. Everything was clean and well kept.

Willow was weary of the place, it seemed like a bit of heaven that she had never thought would come to her. She came to sit by the pond and watched the large fishes swim lazily around the pond for a while, to ease her confused mind buzzing with-in her skull. So many things had happened in such little time.

Someone cleared his throat behind her and she nearly jumped out of her skin. Turning slowly, she found that a bald monk, complete with orange toga, was sitting behind her quite placidly on a white sheet. He was holding a clay mug filled with tea from a teapot already lay out. Questions zoomed in and out of her brain. How did he, and all of his stuff, get into the courtyard with out her hearing.

She was a werewolf now, and the extra hearing was a bit of a perk. Unless she was around monks, she decided after a second. Slowly she stood and backed a few steps away. Now unsure this wasn't just another trick by the monks to get rid of her.

"Please, come sit, have some tea." The monk offered, giving her a bit of a smile. Willow made eye contact with the monk. He was indeed Asian, and if she smelled right; he was a werewolf.

"What is this?" Willow asked her eyebrows knitting together. She made no move towards the monk. "This is a bit of a dream," the monk said frowning for a second. "And… you're a werewolf?" Willow asked, refusing to move from her spot. The monk nodded "Just as you are." He stated, raising an eyebrow.

Willow dropped eye contact. "So what are you going to do?" Willow asked uncomfortably. "I'm thinking of having some more tea. Again, you're welcome to join me." The monk stated easily. Willow glanced up and glared for a second before glancing back down.

"I don't support what Kea is doing." The monk stated purposefully. Willow looked up again a question in her eyes. "Where am I?" she asked quietly. "The first headquarters of the C.W.'s." The monk stated. Willow raised her eyebrows. "But I'm not evil." The monk finished dully.

"You do realize how weird that sounds?" Willow asked. "Coming from me, or just in general?" The monk asked. "I think a little bit of both." Willow ran a hand through her still-wet hair and sighed. "Look, I'll understand if you don't trust me, but you should. I started the C.W.'s five-hundred years ago to help new werewolves learn to control and understand what they are."

"You're dead." Willow stated simply. "I believe the term now is 'duh'." The monk stated. Willow smiled slightly. "When I appointed Kea he was still very young, I thought he would grow out of his thirst for recognition. Obviously he didn't. I failed our association." The monk went on. "What you and yours are doing is the right thing." The monk stated. Willow snorted.

"I'm Chiyo." The monk offered his hand and Willow bit her lip, she felt quite comfortable with the man in the courtyard, but looks could be deceiving; she of all people knew that best. Finally she stepped foreword and shook his hand. He smiled slightly and handed her a cup of tea.

Willow nodded her thanks uncomfortably and took the warm cup in her hands. "What about the fight?" Willow asked sniffing her tea. "It's blackberry." Chiyo commented. "I know, but I'm trying to figure out what else is in it." Willow said taking another sniff. The monk sighed, took her cup and took a sip. "Satisfied?" He asked, handing it back. Willow blushed and then nodded, she then took a sip. It was quite good.

"As for the fight, it's been taken care of, your body will be relatively un-harmed if all goes well." The monk said placidly. Willow felt a little better, Chiyo was reminding her a bit of Jay. "How do you know?" Willow asked.

The monk chuckled. "We sent someone to replace you, so you don't miss the action, don't worry. I wanted to have a chance to talk to you, as did the one in Sunnydale at the moment." Chiyo commented. Willow visibly relaxed, "So what did you want to talk to me about?" Willow asked.

Chiyo raised an eyebrow, "Do you know what you have inside of you?" He asked seriously. Their eyes met and Willow put down her tea.

* * *

Somehow Jake had managed to round up the entire group and they all surrounded Jay, soaked and panting, most of them were bleeding. They were in rough shape. "We aren't going to make it too much longer… not without Oz and Willow." Faith commented adjusting the leather on her ripped jacket. "Hell we aren't going to make it through the night." Jake said looking around at the group of depressed faces. 

"No…" Buffy said quietly. She was paler than the rest of the group. She was clutching her torso and she wasn't standing too good. Jay nodded. "We aren't going out tonight." he commented. Spike snorted. Jay and Buffy Glared.

"Heaven knows this is just the beginning. Somewhere in a galaxy far far away… maybe it's the end. Maybe they've had their last hurrah, but we haven't yet, we're not done, hell, they aren't even threatening the world. It's like Xander said, this is small scale compared to what we do for a living. If we let them get the better of us, get us down, and then they're doing a damn good job kicking our sorry asses. Block it out and focus on what needs to happen, not who's down. Chances are they'll get back up." Jay spoke with enough sureness that no one questioned his statement.

Giles sighed and ran a hair through his soaking hair and cocked his gun again and aimed it at the nearest vampire. Spike got there first. "C'mon, don't loose hope yet. Both of them are getting back up." Jay said softer than before hoping to whatever God was up there that they truly would. He followed Xander's gaze to where the two bodies lay and a small grin spread across his face, Willow, back in wolf form, was getting up. He decided to point that out,

"There she goes see?" He commented towards the stirring werewolf. "Oh yeah, as if on cue." Jay commented slapping Xander on the back almost gleefully. It felt so good to see her up and moving again, what shape she was in was another story.

Jay watched with medically trained eyes as she got to her feet. A loud growl escaping her lips as the nearest werewolf made it's way towards her, Jay found inside himself a burst of energy and made his way towards her to help.

Mid-sprint he stopped however, realizing full well that somehow, inexplicably, she didn't need help. She was now in the process of landing on the opposing wolf's back and biting viciously on the back of its neck. The opposing wolf went down with an audible thud and Jay watched speechless as she walked past the fallen enemy. He had never seen a new wolf do that with such ease before. It was like it wasn't even Willow.

A white bird flew just above her head and Jay blinked, confused. Then both their eyes met and the remaining colour drained from Jay's face, he knew her. It really wasn't Willow, he realized as chocolate brown hit moss green. She then broke eye contact and was off after another foe, feathery ginger tail swishing behind her. Jay couldn't help but let out a whoop before going after his own foe, something about her presence made him feel like it wasn't the end yet.

* * *

"I have a wolf inside of me." Willow stated confused. Chiyo's eyes danced with humor. "One could say the wolf has you in it. Not the other way around." Willow frowned, a crease forming across her forehead. "You are not two separate beings, but one. Jay and Oz are doing an ok job teaching you to control one side yourself, but you don't seem to realize that the wolf needs to come into your human side or there cannot be balance, you will never be able to control the wolf side." Chiyo stated. Willow paled. 

The man had just named her worst fear. "You and the wolf have to work together, not struggle to control the other." Chiyo stated. Willow shook her head. "I-I don't know if I can." She stated, looking elsewhere. She didn't, couldn't believe in herself right then. Her life had seemed to fall apart that night. The memory of Oz hitting the pavement was too strong. That very second had seemed to zap all the energy she had away from her.

Chiyo sighed, "You have been in many battles young one, but you must maintain hope, believe in yourself, and your cause. I cannot help you with that, but they are crucial to your new immortal life. I need you to believe that you can, to believe that what ever is out there that you can handle the next step." Chiyo commented, knowing filled his eyes and Willow let out a shuddering sigh.

"You cannot fight with yourself anymore, nothing good can come out of that. Believe in yourself and believe in your wolf. We all have our inner demons, we can't tame them but we can use them to make ourselves better. That is the difference between Kea and Oz. That is the difference that separates the parties fighting and dying tonight, most importantly, that is what separates man from monster." Chiyo spoke quietly.

Willow nodded taking in the man's words in quiet reverence and absorbing the information. It was silent for another moment and then the man began talking again. "What is your greatest fear Willow?" he asked calmly.

Willow frowned at the strange question, "Other than having no control I guess…?" She questioned. Chiyo nodded. "Drowning I guess, I never learned how to swim properly, I'm ok going in the water, but if I get in over my head, I panic." Willow commented biting her lip. Chiyo nodded, "Wise to fear what you cannot control." He commented. He took another sip of tea whilst pondering this new piece of information.

Suddenly the sun was gone, Willow was still warm, but she wasn't in the courtyard any longer. It was dark outside. She was surrounded by forest and she was… in the middle of a deserted lake, fully clothed. Her first instinct was to scream; which she did, and then she realized that that probably wouldn't help, she was already in a dream. Well at least she hoped she was.

The water was warm enough, a silver crescent moon hung above her head, like liquid, reflecting in the calm water of the black surface of the lake. Slowly she felt her heart beat slow back down to a normal pace and she decided the only thing she could do for the moment, was attempt to swim for shore. Taking one last calming breath, she began to kick, attempting something like the doggy paddle in order to get her to shore.

Her jeans heavy in the dark water, she wasn't going anywhere fast. Slowly she was being sucked under the water, as the strength in her legs began to diminish. She finally panicked, thrashing in the water, it enveloped her and she didn't manage to take a breath before she was completely under, being pushed further and further from the surface.

She could hear her panicked heart thud in her ears as she was sucked further and further under the dark waves. The water kept getting colder as she fell through the depths until it was ice-cold; she felt goose bumps form on her arms. She could no longer see the moon through the surface. She flared around panicking in an attempt to bring her closer to the surface. Her brain screamed that she was going to die, her lungs screamed for air. Looking down all she could see was the crushing blackness, so dark and cold that she couldn't stand it.

She could feel her body shutting off. Her lungs ached for air, panicking her further. Suddenly she felt the wolf pull her back from a point of almost no consciousness and begged to come to the surface. She refused it afraid of what might happen. Even more afraid of what waited for her on the bottom of the black lake.

Her numb body finally hit the weeds growing on the bottom and she couldn't take it anymore and opened her mouth to take in whatever she could get. She gave into the wolf and felt her leg get wrapped up in the weeds. Her vision was failing, not that she needed it, in the crushing darkness, her ears popped and stars danced behind her eyelids.

Without knowing what she was doing, she felt her legs kick upwards, her arms begin to move, she felt the weed around her leg break and she realized she was moving up. She was swimming, her wolf, was swimming. It was saving their lives. Her chest was on fire but she was refused the right to open her mouth, the surface was coming up fast but not fast enough, her lungs gave a threatening cry for air and just when she couldn't take it anymore she felt her self propelled past the water line.

Stars twinkled overhead and she took in large gulps of air, recovering slowly her motor skills and brainpower. After a few moments she glanced around at the empty forest and at the fifty or so meters she had to swim to get to shore. She couldn't do it, she couldn't swim, and her wolf had just saved her life. Without prodding she gave herself to the wolf after a moment of hesitation and watched through shared eyes as she swam to shore.

As she reached the shore she felt the wolf pull away and she collapsed onto the rough sand. She allowed the wolf to feed her the energy she needed to stay awake and shook with cold on the ground. A white bird flew overhead and into a near-by tree, where it sang a long mournful note. Tears streamed freely down her pale cheeks and for the first time in months, Willow was whole. It was cold and warm at the same time. The wolf watched through her human eyes and told her to stand.

She obeyed willingly and with shaky knees she started through the forest, the moment she broke the tree line she felt sleep tug her into a warm embrace, and she watched through both pairs of eyes as the world blurred and fell away.

* * *

Oz woke up in the most pain he had ever been in. A groan escaped his lips as consciousness pulled him from the dead once again, he felt his heart begin to beat again and air fill his lungs again. His head felt light and his lungs took in shallow painful breaths. 

He heard a savage snarl in front of him and painfully opened his eyes. A ginger blur was standing in front of him. Snarling at a group of multi-coloured werewolves, surrounding them both. A groan escaped his lips once again, and the ginger wolf he now recognized as the Willow wolf jumped on the nearest opposing wolf, a savage snarl ringing through the air.

The opposing wolf went down and she easily tore out its throat. The other wolves surrounding her began to close in on her and she twisted herself easily in each direction and snapped at each of them in turn before taking a running leap, and knocking two wolves at a time onto the hard ground.

Oz hadn't seen a werewolf ever fight with so much planning before, except one. He shook his head, Willow was a smart wolf, he questioned his reasoning, considering he had just woken up from the dead it was probably quite likely that he was just seeing things.

She wasn't that smart, not without any definitive control. Maybe one day, but not today, not during her third change, it was impossible. But there wasn't any other answer to his question; something in Willow must have embraced the wolf, while he was out. That was the only explanation his pained brain could come up with at the moment.

Then he spotted a huge black wolf sneaking up behind her and was on his feet without a second thought. Which, as life would have it, wasn't the best idea. He was in human form, and had no weapon. His head spun, and he struggled to stand, but he managed to get the wolf's attention long enough to allow time for the Willow wolf to finish her other kill, and turn around.

However, it wasn't enough time for Oz to find something to hurt the wolf with. He ended up doing the only thing he _could_ think of. His foot shot up and he kicked it in the face, not hurting it, like he had hoped, just pissing it off more. Okay, so he wasn't up to full brain capacity yet.

The big pissed off looking wolf took a step towards him now; Oz took a step back, glancing around for something to hit it with. The ginger wolf pounced onto the black one just in time, it fell to the ground, giving Oz enough time to pick up a lost gun and shoot a round into it's head with a shaky hand.

The ginger wolf turned to him and their eyes met. Oz's heart almost stopped for the second time that night. That WAS NOT Willow. He knew those eyes that style, those graceful movements.

"_Sasha…"_ he whispered. The wolf snorted quietly and dipped her head once, before they made eye contact again. She then took a few steps towards him and rubbed her head against his knee, before turning and jumping on the next wolf she saw. Tears formed in Oz's eyes and he followed her, and back-to-back, they began fighting once more, a joint effort, and a joint heart.

_**I've seen the light that emanates from you,  
and it makes me feel proud, a voice of reason above the muffling crowds.  
Such will to live and you've got so much to give, long lost sincerity.  
Lost in a world that's been scorched to black.  
Lost in myself until I finally find.  
A guide in you, and gratitude is mine; I admire the way you shine.  
Stare down the day from which others shield their eyes,  
with complete clarity, and no trace of apathy.  
So positive, and your heart you freely give, long lost vivacity.  
Lost in a world that's been scorched to black.  
Lost in myself until I finally find.  
A guide in you, and gratitude is mine; I admire the way you shine.**_

_**-"The New Patrons Saints And Angels." By AFI**_

**That's all! My sketch of Jay is now accessible by use of a link on my profile page so check it out! I'm working on making it in colour, BUT PLEASE TAKE A LOOK!!! –Shiny eyes- REVIEW??? Please… -points to shiny purple-ish box- spare a click? Anyone else love that AFI song? finishes rambling. THANKS FOR READING!**


	14. Chapter 14, Breaking Habits

**Happy Holidays everyone! **

**I'm sooo sorry it took me so long to update, I re-wrote the war three or four times, attempted to rid the chapter of most of the bad stinky cheesy parts and sent it to two betas. Both of which had it for a couple of weeks and never got it finished due to various things like, trips to England, busyness and random disappearances… all of which kind of slowed things down, but hey you get a nice new update for the holidays and hopefully a new one tomorrow, cause I'm just about finished the chapter after this one. **

**I've never written a war in my life so tips or comments would be very VERY valued. Also reviews were very limited last update… I got ONE REVIEW last chapter!! I know brining back Sasha might not have been an awesome idea considering everyone reading this fic is a W/O shipper… but jeeze. All I want for Christmas is reviews… **

**DISCLAIMER: I still own nothing… except the characters aforementioned in previous chapters and the story board post Buffy Season Finale. Song props go to AFI- appearing first with "Synesthesia" and Blindside with the song sung by Sasha in the _italics._**

**Chapter 14: Breaking Habits.**

_**To Believe in what we are, is the same as to believe in what we were, let us fight for you, bleed for you, die for you, bow down to you, let us be free in exchange for our kindness and truthfulness, we will support the world you give us. **_

_**- Unknown.**_

Willow opened her eyes and found herself back in the courtyard. It was night now, the same crescent moon, hung above her head as it had in the lake. Chiyo was standing in front of her, a soft smile floating across his face. Every line and crease on his face shone in the light of the moon. He looked like the ideal father figure.

Cherry blossom trees whispered in spicy night air and the silence between the two werewolves weighed heavy in the air. The pond bubbled along quietly and a couple lone fireflies buzzed around their heads, riding the soft breeze.

Willow wasn't sure whether to be mad with the man clad in orange, standing calmly in front of her, or amazed. She could _feel_ the wolf inside of her, watching and feeling what she was. It was the most amazing experience she had ever had, it was like she was drunk or even high; everything was sharper, more contrasted and real. The soft breeze lifted her hair gently and tickled her face.

The silence went on for a few more minutes as Willow took in life through new eyes. Then she finally felt confident enough to say something. "I could have died you know." She spoke softly, her voice felt alien.

Chiyo sighed, "I realize you could have died. But after watching that display, I don't think _you _would have let yourself die. That was truly one of the strongest, most beautiful things I've ever seen. When you needed your wolf the most, you were able to call upon it and it obliged, it had to; if it hadn't you would be dead. It's true, a lot of people don't make it through that last trial, either their wolf won't save them, or the human refused the wolf and they both perished." The monk stated.

Willow paled. "You killed them all?" She asked, her hand slowly rising to her mouth. "If you look at it that way, then yes. But you have to understand, those who didn't make it though the final test couldn't have lived safely anymore, they were constantly fighting themselves on the inside. They would have gone mad. Those who couldn't make it were better off dead." Chiyo stated solemnly.

Willow nodded, it made sense, and the way she had been before wasn't a way to live an eternal life. She had always been under stress, finding herself shaking switching back and fourth from human hearing and wolf. Willow's eyes met the monk's.

He wasn't evil and he hadn't lied. She knew that now, the C.W.s had been created with good intentions; before Kea had showed up they had been doing a good thing. She could respect that; she respected the man standing in front of her. She then nodded, "Thank you." She told him, she reached out her hand for him to shake.

Chiyo nodded. "You are very welcome, it's not every day I get to help anyone with their problems, now that I am here; especially not one so, sharp and respectful. It was my honor to talk to you Willow." He stated, taking her hand. He patted it gently. "It was good to have met you." He added with a wink. Willow nodded, "Same here."

"Would you like some more tea?" The monk offered, Willow nodded.

* * *

Jay waked through the torment of fighting with un-natural ease. He passed a tree on his right side and found himself distracted by a ginger blur and his best friend, in the biggest fight of their lives, by far the most super naturals surrounded them, Jay pondered whether to go over there or not, wondering what would happen next in the twisted world that Blade had created.

Suddenly he felt a sharp pain his chest and looked down. Cursing he found he had been shot; the pain almost brought him to his knees. Somehow he managed to stay up and he glanced over to where the bullet had come from.

That's when he noticed that he wasn't alone. There in the tree sat a scared and shaking werewolf. It was a boy; he looked about seventeen, "Hey! Do I look like a vampire to you?" Jay shouted up at him, motioning profusely to his bleeding stomach. The boy paled and shook his head franticly the whites of his eyes flashing with panic.

The look on the kid's face didn't help but quirk a smile on his face. Maybe not all of them were a lost cause...

* * *

"This isn't happening." Oz mumbled shaking his head to get the rain water out of his eyes. A second werewolf joined the one he was already holding off and snarled savagely as it snapped its pure white teeth at him. As for the ginger wolf, which his logical mind refused to believe was Sasha, and at the same knew in his heart that it was the only explanation; stood behind him, using her razor sharp claws to slash through the crowd of on coming werewolves and vampires combined.

His chest heaved as he threw his entire body towards an opening and landed face first in mud. This allowed him time to pick up another weapon, this time a stake, and jam it through the heart of a pissed off looking, pink wearing vampire. It promptly turned to dust before the rain washed it away.

Using his arm as a shield he pushed through another gap, surrounding the ginger wolf and shot a few rounds into the crowd. He got four in before the weapon gave out and then, cursing he then used it as a bat and swung it around, coming in contact with the face of the nearest un-changed vampire.

His lungs promptly sent another seizure of paralyzing pain through his already racked body. It brought him to his knees, mud oozed around him and he almost didn't move fast enough to miss collision with another wolf. His head switched off and he slowly got to his feet again.

His heart yearned to be alone with her, he had just been able to move on and now he wasn't sure where he stood. It was confusing and yet clarifying at the same time, like a weight had been taken off his already broken and stricken shoulders.

Pain shot through him and he blinked against the smoke in the air, his eyes watered and he searched around the already barren streets and found everyone in heated battle with an opponent, an opponent that even when beaten; another would take its place. It seemed impossible to make a dent in anything worthwhile and yet, they fought on.

They always fought on. Nothing was more important to him, he valued nothing more than he did his freedom, other than the memories he had of the good times he had had with the people he loved. He wasn't sure how much more fight he had left, but he was sure there was enough to make his life worth more than another one of the millions of people who would die that day.

Sasha was a reminder to him of all the things he had fought for, before he had lost his place in the world and found sanctuary in his wolf and the forest. He lifted the gun again, clarity finally finding it's way to his heart. Odd clarity decided to rear it's head in the most barren and desperate fight of his life.

He wanted nothing more than to see her smile once more. He allowed a glance towards the wolf behind him, their eyes met and his heart melted, his stomach flopped and he needed to run.

His feet flew as he crashed through the enemies that surrounded them, his lungs crushed his chest, but for the first time since his time in the forest the night before, he felt nothing but at peace. In the mist of war he had found his niche, the way back to the peace he would have died for. Sasha had reminded him of something very important, hope, he had lost it in mid preach. As he was trying to convince Willow that they were going to get Buffy back, hope, the one thing allowing his mind to dream had faded and disappeared.

His already broken heart had been swept away into an ebony oblivion and there had been no stopping his brigade. What he had done back at the high school might as well have been attempted suicide as he hadn't thought it through, somehow he had made it out of there alive and brought Buffy home to her family, relatively safe. Somehow, he had used guilt to guide his desperate façade and stop the tears of the people around him. But that had done nothing for his wounds.

His eyes had been forced open as he had watched Willow be taken up in Blades overwhelming grasp and crushed, she had been just a puppet to his will. She had gotten up, he hadn't, after watching that he had given up, he fought, but for nothing other than to get it over with, it had been nothing short of attempted suicide.

He was back to where he started, and now he had to get himself out of the vicious circle, heal, and move on. He didn't think he could bare allowing himself to literally say goodbye to Sasha, even as he thought about it, hope had welled up in his chest and his eyes threatened tears.

He pushed his thoughts back and focused his thoughts on putting one foot in front of the other. He felt someone behind him and glanced back, behind his right shoulder, the ginger wolf had fallen into place on his right side and Jay was on his left side, his stomach was bleeding, but Jay gave him one of his signature winks. Further behind them was Dawn and Connor, both of which had a weapon grasped in either hand. Buffy and Spike ran behind Sasha and were flanked on either side by Jake and Faith, Giles, Anya and Xander made up the rear of the diamond shaped attack pattern and they all followed him without question.

A look of surprised fluttered across his face, but was quickly covered by the same stoic look he had practiced his entire life to maintain. He turned his head again and realized where his tired feet had taken him.

* * *

A malicious smile crossed Blade's face as he called for another bomb. They were going to take him all at once; he might as well hit twelve birds with one stone.

So far all he had had to do was sit and watch the action, now it was his turn, Kea was dead and most of the werewolves had followed their dear master to hell, the ones that were left were either lost, or on the brink of insanity. It was interesting that the one's he had been fighting with all this time had been the ones to take out the Civilized Wolves, it boggled his mind as to how this happened, but it didn't matter, they were still monsters and they would still get what they deserved. He would clear his conscience before death took him to hell. That was all he hoped for.

* * *

What Giles was watching he almost couldn't believe, although he was seeing it as it was happening. Both Oz and Willow had just bounced back up from the dead, like it had been nothing at all. He had never seen a werewolf move with so much conviction before; he almost thought it might not have even been Willow in that large ginger body.

Now Oz had everyone where he wanted without saying a word; and was running with conviction to the one who had haunted him like a shadow for most of his adult life. It would seem that there was nothing keeping him from his goal. Something in that man's head had clicked into place. Maybe it had been when he was lying on the ground, or maybe it was one last attempt from his injured soul, but Giles felt like there was nothing that would keep Oz from where he was going.

A huge respect fell over Giles for the short young man. Fear wasn't even in the equation anymore, he was facing more than anyone could ever fathom, without even looking back. Giles didn't think he could look back. Memories were strange things, they can bring back the best and the worst of people, Giles wondered what he had gone through for so much conviction to run through Oz's tired, broken, pain stricken body.

* * *

Oz's eyes shone gold as he glanced up at Blade, a cannon was fired and a bomb came barreling over the roof of the nearest house and in their direction. Oz took a sharp left and drove the group to safety as the bomb hit behind them. He found his voice through the dull ringing in his ears and used it.

It crackled at first with lack of use but adapted quickly as he finally called his opponent out. "Blade, stop being such a coward and get out where we can see you." He yelled at the location the bomb had come from, his lungs gave out and he coughed hard, blood filled his mouth and he had to spit it out on the ground to keep from heaving, the coppery taste lingered in his mouth, but he refused to answer the questioning glances he was receiving from the group; he instead focused on getting an answer, his eyes on fire, relentless on the roof on which he was sure Blade stood.

The black sky's un-relinquishing rain relinquished slightly, and Oz blinked up at the roof of the house, through the now light rain, and caught Blade appearing from the back of the roof, his face sculpted into a scowl. "Now what Daniel? I call my army to finish your group of already broken comrades?" He asked pasting a bored expression onto his sweaty face.

Oz was just about to retort but he heard a fluttering noise on his right side and reeled around to see Willow standing there, in human form. Her un-natural, moss green eyes flashed dangerously. Goosebumps formed on Oz's arms as those eyes met his, words couldn't describe what he was feeling; it was like he had just been hit by lightning.

"The monster inside you isn't what's going to drag you into hell, your actions are what has condemned you." Sasha stated calmly, the storm of action around her seemed to lessen as the rain stopped almost completely. She was wearing dark blue jeans and a green top, both were muddy and both couldn't be explained.

Blade laughed heartlessly, "Why do you think I would care what you have to say. I created you, and I brought you out of it just as easily." He stated coldly. "Obviously you didn't do a very good job considering, I'm still standing here." Sasha spoke. "I wouldn't be so calm if I were you. You don't seem to realize I can make you do what I want, without a second thought." Blade countered.

"I wouldn't be so sure if I was you." Sasha stared at Blade hard. Blade seemed to ponder this for a second and then spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, "Who are you?" he asked paling.

"You don't know?" Sasha asked cocking an eyebrow, her eyes glinting with interest. "Last time I talked to you, you claimed you were God, you claimed you knew everything and could control anyone." Sasha spoke again. Blade paled even further. Oz stole a glance at Sasha, she stood solidly on both feet, her eyes were determined, but anger flashed dangerously beneath that.

"Wolf got your tongue Blade?" Jay asked from Oz's other side, his voice seemed so foreign to Oz that he had to wheel around and look. "You could say that…" Blade hissed angrily. The super naturals around them started to tighten their grip around the small group of rebels. Buffy automatically raised her weapons again and got ready to fight. The others followed suit, Oz started to raise his splintered stake again as well, but he felt a soft hand on his arm and looked up into those moss green eyes again. "No, they can hold them off, this is between us and Blade now." Willow's voice came with Sasha's intentions.

Oz nodded. His numerous masks threatening to fall off his face, and tears threatening to fall from his already watering eyes, there was nothing he wanted more than to have this all over with. He finally swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of his throat and nodded. "I love you." He whispered.

Sasha gave him a longing look, but turned back to Blade, her moss eyes flashing circles of gold in the dark green. She then sized up the size of the roof, and jumped. Oz sighed, his tired body screaming for him to stay on the ground, and jumped also landing far less gracefully than she had, but he was up there, his stomach however stayed on the ground below.

Oz glanced over the edge of the roof and got eye contact with Jay, he nodded as he and the rest of the group continued fighting on the ground. Nodding Oz turned back to where Sasha and Blade were standing. Blade was shaking slightly and Sasha stole a glance at him, checking to see if he was okay. He spat out some more blood that had gathered in his throat, but nodded at her and walked to her side.

"You were never God Blade, you were a monster before you were a werewolf." Oz stated calmly. "Anyone who could kill people viciously, without learning anything about them first is a monster. Some of the wolves you killed, worked with orphans, or as scientists on their way to finding cures for cancer, they didn't deserve to die just because they were different." Sasha added.

Blade snorted, the fact that he was out numbered, not even seeming to cross his mind. "They deserved it. You all deserve it, I don't claim to be God, I'm his messenger, I get rid of every un-holy being on this earth." Blade spat.

"And you decided that gang rape and beatings was the way to go about that?" Sasha spat, her eyes flashing. Blade stared. "You do realize you're a werewolf now too right?" Sasha asked. "How do you explain this shit?" She questioned further. Oz just watched wide-eyed as Blade crumbled into a sniffling mess.

"Why the hell should I tell you!" He snapped. His eyes flashing the darkest blue Oz had ever seen on a werewolf. "Because you aren't even fit to be alive if you can't learn to deal with what's inside of you, it was the same when you were human." Oz spoke fiercely; he spat out another mouthful of blood onto the roof, and attempted to slow his breathing back to a normal rate, only to cough again. The angry fire inside of him sparked and he forced his bowed head up to meet Blade's eyes.

He felt Sasha's eyes on him, but couldn't look into them, he knew it was killing her to see him like this; he tried his best to ignore it.

Blade glared back, they stood there in silence for a few seconds before Oz noticed what Blade was doing; he was changing. Oz turned to face Sasha again and saw that she too had noticed what he was going to do as well, and raised her eyebrows at him. He shook his head, they wouldn't change for this one, and they would kill the monster for what he was, in the form that he didn't find fit to be apart of.

Sasha realized what he meant almost immediately and reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. He took her hand instead, and squeezed, his breathing was gasps now.

All Oz wanted to do was kill him at his weakest point, as Oz watched with unforgiving eyes as Blade howled in pain as the change began to take it's course. He wouldn't take himself to Blade's level though; he would obey the rules of a werewolf and wait until he had completely altered his form. This however, didn't mean that he couldn't search for a weapon in the mean time.

Scanning the ground below him, his eyes landed on Xander, who was in the mist of bringing down another vampire, a sword hung un-used at his side as well as a gun he recognized as one of Jakes. It seemed as if the thought had just struck him and Jake was already flashing to Xander's side. Connor made his way towards the small group and handed another sword to Jake, he then motioned towards Sasha and sent a wink upwards to Oz, who nodded his thanks.

Sasha was watching Blade, a cold look spread across Willow's face. Jake flashed up to them on the roof and handed out weapons, he handed Oz the gun and the shorter of the two swords, Oz nodded in thanks, before Jake handed Sasha the long sword.

He leaned over just slightly and spoke a few words in her ear calmly, softly. She smiled up at him, and he gently placed a hand on her shoulder, his wings fluttered softly in the breeze. Sasha nodded, her eyes sparkled somewhat with emotion, but she said something in a low, but strong voice and he grabbed her hand. Slowly and cautiously he then leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her cheek before giving Oz another nod and flashing back down to the battle below.

Oz was ok with this, Jake and Sasha had gone out for a few months before he had met her. Oz glanced over at Sasha, for the first time asking himself why he didn't just fill the void between them with himself; it had been so easy for Jake.

Their eyes met and for a split second he was transported away to easier times. They were disrupted by a deafening howl piercing the windy air and turned to see a pure black werewolf standing in front of them, lips curled, a vicious snarl fell out of them and Oz watched with even eyes as it took a few steps foreword.

The wolf it's self was huge, twice the size Oz was in wolf form, pure white canines flashed from the already snarling mouth. Its paws were the size of large dinner plates and it's razor claws dug into the roof. This wolf was made for one purpose, to kill.

It was silent for a second and Oz watched as it approached them at a steady pace, it's long bristly hair blowing in the wind, which seemed to have picked up since the rain had stopped. The moon silhouetted the three figures as it made it's way home, it's cycle almost complete.

Sasha caught his eye and he caught her biting her lip, like she did so many times when coming up with a plan. Except this wasn't her lip, it was Willow's. "He wants a game let's give it to him. You up for a bit of ring around the rosy?" Sasha asked in Willow's borrowed voice, although that mysterious part of Sasha shone through like a new penny on the street. A small smile spread across Oz's face, he tried to condemn it but it shone through anyways. "Let's give 'em a show." Oz agreed.

Sasha nodded and began her slow circle, going to the right, Oz started left and the wolf stopped to watch. It's dark icy eyes following each of them as they positioned them selves for easy display from the people on the ground below. Oz turned his head just enough so that the people on the ground were visible out of the corner of his eye, most of the fighting had stopped as more and more super naturals stopped to watch the chaos on the ground.

He had to take a quicker look as he realized most of the other side was either dead, or had given up and were sitting to watch the show, Oz quirked a quick elegant eyebrow at the people on the ground, most of which had now stopped fighting and were grinning up at him lopsidedly. He turned back to the circling in hand.

They had almost made it so that they met on the other side, but they didn't get close enough for the wolf to be able to jump them both dangerously close together. The wolf had turned with them attempting to watch them both at once.

Yes, wolves could be stupid. It wasn't normal, but when a wolf was under stress, it went back to a primitive state of mind, the teasing may be pissing it off, but it was also making Blade lose the battle with his inner demon.

The wolf started getting antsy, it paced closer and closer to both of them, with a growl that emanated so low that the only reason the two of them could hear it was their own super hearing.

"Got a plan from here?" Oz asked glancing over at Sasha, "Nope thought we'd just jump off the roof here…" She commented, "Wasn't counting on the breathing thing being this bad." She added with a sigh. Oz nodded, "Then we jump." He commented, running a hand through his hair. Sasha made him meet her eyes, when she had him locked on, she cocked an eyebrow then motioned towards the drop. Oz allowed his face to stay firm and he sized up the jump.

"Ready?" She asked with a final nod. "Jump." Oz said going off first, his legs gave out when he hit the ground but luckily he had landed in a bush, ignoring the fact that he was suffocating he scrambled up. Sasha came behind him and managed to stay on her feet, both of them scrambled out of the bush and began, at a jog to run towards the middle of the street. The wolf would be following in a second as they had just made themselves moving prey.

"What now?" Sasha asked scanning the open road for something that might pop out at her as something that could be useful. The handle of her sword whirled in her hand as she thought. "Switch it" Oz stated, the people on the ground had begun to gather, Jay and the rest of the gang were now watching with interested eyes as they stared at the couple in the street.

Sasha nodded, and motioned for Jay to round up a few people, "We're switchin it, hurry." She stated simply, Jay caught on and quickly placed himself in the bushes with Jake and Spike, the only two that weren't too badly injured to out-run an attack, not to mention being immune the bite of a werewolf.

"This isn't going to work for very long," Oz stated the obvious. "I know…" Sasha stated solemnly, her eyes glued to the roof. A gigantic black blur took a running leap off of the roof and hit the ground, Jay took this as his cue and came out of the bushes screaming bloody murder with the other two men.

The wolf reeled on them for a moment, and for a second Oz thought it might not remember whom it was after, and lifted the gun that still lay heavy in his hand, cocking the weapon before taking aim. The shot wouldn't penetrate much past the skin from that distance, but a shot to the shoulder would slow the beast down, and that was the plan.

He squeezed the trigger and the shot rang true, although it was a reminder that both Oz and Sasha were still alive. The wolf wheeled away from the Jay group and started at a run a charging bull would be proud of; towards the couple.

"Nice shot." Sasha commented raising her sword. "Thanks." Oz stated, "Noticed he has no control anymore?" Sasha asked after the wolf faltered a few times on the run over. "Definitely. But you have to ask your self, has he ever had control?" Oz asked cocking an eyebrow, blood filled his mouth again and once again he spat it out. "Well, I can't tell you about his natural functions but of the mind…" Sasha was cut off as the wolf took a running leap towards her.

She expertly raised the sword and jumped out of the way. A long gash ran across Blade's right haunch. Ruby blood dripped from the wound, Sasha sported her own deep cut down her arm, from a razor claw. "I'm gonna say no." She finished as the wolf reeled around for another pass.

Oz's instincts finally clued in and he held the sword out just enough to catch its attention. Hand-eye coordination quickly followed and Oz struck out without notice at the wolf, it had anticipated the move and attempted to bite his leg, but luckily for him Sasha had also anticipated the move and had brought the sword down on the scruff of Blade's neck with all the force she possessed.

"No more games Blade, I know they're your favorite but we aren't ever playing by your rules anymore." Sasha brought her foot down on Blade's back hard enough to make all four of his legs buckle and collapse, while he was still recovering from the blow.

Sasha's eyes glowed completely gold as her wolf upped the power in her muscles. "You're lucky we didn't do what you did to us Blade, but we aren't evil." Sasha commented pushing her boot farther into the wolf's flesh. "And we don't have the time…" Oz added darkly, before coming to aid Sasha. His words barely escaping his mouth, his voice choked, and his lungs choked him of air, pain raked his already stricken body. He took a moment to recover.

The wolf whimpered pitifully, "Now you want sympathy…? You killed people without any pity, without learning what they were about." Sasha snarled. "_It hurts doesn't it?_" She asked in a mocking tone.

The wolf struggled even more and Oz kicked it. "No, you get no sympathy from me. You pulled apart my family, my pack, you killed me and my unborn child, you hurt my fiancé for life and you came back to finish the job when he didn't die the first time, you came back to finish the job just when he had found an ounce of closure. I don't even know how many others you hurt to get to wolves Blade." Sasha stated, she glanced up at Oz who nodded.

The sun had just broken the edge of the horizon, dark red shone through the still messy darkness. "Red sky in the morning." Oz stated slowly, "Weren't you in the Navy Blade?" Sasha asked savagely, she then brought up the sword, it glinted in the pale sunlight as she held it there fore a second; then she brought it down, and like that it was finished.

The sun caught the horizon and bathed them in golden light that contrasted off the still dark clouds. Sasha released her hold on the wolf's body and took a few steps away, wrapping her arms around herself as if she was suddenly cold. Oz took a few steps foreword and closed the gap between them. He placed a soft hand on her shoulder, emotion welling up in his throat.

"I-I have to go soon… you realize that right?" She asked quietly. Oz nodded attempting to look into her eyes. She avoided his stare. He took a knuckle and placed it gently under her chin, tears welled in his eyes, making it hard to see. He slowly lifted her chin up to stare in her eyes, a deep sadness remained here, tears flowed silently down her cheeks.

"We killed him Oz. I, killed him…" Sasha stated turning into him. "I thought it would have felt, finished. Now it just feels like we sunk to his level" Sasha continued in a hollow voice, Oz wrapped his arms around her, "No, it's done, we did what needed to be done. If you feel like you should be finished it's because it is, he can't harm anyone anymore. He's in the past." Oz said quietly. Sasha nodded slowly. "I missed you so much…" Oz's voice trailed off as his own tears started flowing down his cheeks.

They found each other's arms and embraced in a hug, sunlight surrounded them making the entire scene seem dreamlike and strange. "I love you so much Oz…" Sasha whispered in his ear, goose bumps formed on his arms and he let out a raspy sigh.

"Then stay here, with me. Sasha, I don't think I can…" Oz started. "I can't kill two people tonight Oz, my time was up when I died. I can't borrow anymore, it's not right; and it wouldn't be fair. You have to move on baby." Sasha said slowly. Oz reached up with his hand and wiped away a stray tear from her chin.

"I'll always love you… you'll always be my number one." Oz whispered; he stared straight into her mossy eyes, knowing in his heart that he would never see them again.

Sasha sighed, "I'll always be with you, watching you, so if you fuck up, I, karma, shall kick your ass, every time you stub your toe or shut a door on your finger…" Sasha waved her finger slowly in his direction. Oz hugged her tighter, his ice-cold skin warming in the pale morning light, although goose bumps remained.

"Please, baby don't go yet." Oz pleaded, Sasha looked away, "I can't stay much longer, God I wish I could." She said softly, she stared up at the sky and a shiver ran through her body. Oz tried to make her look back at him, he needed to see her eyes once more, her smile, to hear her laugh, to hear her sing. His throat sized up as he thought about losing her again.

Then she began to sing softly, for only him to hear, he pitch was perfect, her voice a beautiful piece of glass, easily broken, and yet it remained together…

_Someday, I will be...  
I'll be that waking warmth from a fading dream  
Because I will, I may at best  
Float as you feel _

Please let me haunt as scent on your pillow  
Letters of past look distant and wrinkled  
Please let me haunt as scent on your pillow  
Letters of past look distant and wrinkled

Say you will for me  
Invite me to your memory  
Sing again for me  
That long forgotten song

Let me be all the words

"You were my only Oz, I love you more than I loved anything in my broken past. It was my time to go, and my fate to accept it. You got a second chance for love Oz… a second number one, please, don't mess it up because of me. We all live broken and fractured lives, where everything we thought was safe wasn't at all but the complete opposite.

That's life Oz, just when you think you've had enough and would rather fall into that deep crack dwelling just below your cold tired feet, look up the sky and smile. Know I made my living doing this shit, I lost my life doing this shit and now I watch others continue what I have started. It only makes me think it's all-apart of something bigger than we are. Something's up there Oz, I know it cause I witness it every day in the eyes of others. In that extra glimmer in their eyes as I pass by them on the street.

We've all been through days like this, and when they're over all they have to do is look to the heavens and thank what ever higher power is up there you still have the will and the fight not to sit back and take the carnage as it traces it's long ebony finger across the world. As it reaches into the houses of the poor and rich alike and takes what will, who ever it may be; and hangs it with the rest of the destruction going on in this world. Change can't happen without a catalyst, you might as well be that catalyst. Lime light or not, you are what your actions say you are. Redemption is not but a reward but to make you feel better.

We were the best team out there today baby, smile Oz, I know it lacks that James Bond suave you normally carry on you like a veil, but damn it's like watching the sunrise over the battle field. You're 'look to the west on the third day and see white flags on the horizon,' moment. It says something for the good guys." Sasha whispered quietly.

Oz's heart felt like it had just shattered into a million pieces, bile rose in his throat. "Do me a favor, go back to the apartment and get my canvas, get it out of the darkness." She finished, her hands shaking. Oz took them in his own.

"Sash…" Oz managed to whisper. Sasha turned around, Willow's body slowly turning into the one she was meant to be, falling off her like a tickling breeze; and into the body he had mapped from head to toe, her tall lean frame, chestnut hair, peachy satin lips and those gorgeous eyes. This was _his_ Sasha. He raised his own shaking hand to her cheek and just the texture almost brought his shaky knees to the ground.

Slowly he moved his head closer to hers, until he could feel his eyelashes touching hers, but refusing to close his eyes, he ran his hand down one of her thighs, trying to prolong the moment forever.

Finally his lips touched her perfect ones, and he fell into a passionate kiss, slowly he couldn't help but close his eyes, her tongue ran through his mouth and the goose bumps disappeared, her soft slender hands wrapped around his neck, it was like he had come home; and then as quickly as it had started it was over. He felt her retreat and he opened his eyes in a panic to find those mossy orbs again.

They stared calmly back at him, "I love you… but you have to say goodbye baby" She whispered one last time, and like a whisper in a forest she was gone, and Willow was unconscious in his arms. Tears streamed down his face as he lowered her body to the ground.

Slowly a sob escaped his mouth and he found his world turning to black as well.

A dreamy memory filled his mind as he gave himself up to the darkness, wishing for something to dull the pain pent up in his heart. Premonitions danced in random colours in his head, until all went into a dream…

* * *

_Every time he heard that song he would cry. He didn't care how un-manly it made him look. Sasha was a beautiful person on the outside but on the inside the words that poured out of her soul were like stepping into heaven itself. Oz remembered waiting in the wings one night, they had been doing a show and all three of the other band members had walked off the stage, left her there alone. Oz didn't even think she noticed their absence. Her eyes had sparkled as she stared off into the darkness of the crowd like she was looking into the deepest sea and seeing right through to the bottom. Her voice pierced the night like the sound of thunder on the coldest tundra as clear as crystal. He remembered coming out of the trance he was in for a second and feeling his face, sopping wet with his own salty tears. There she stood in the spotlight in the middle of an empty stage, dust particles shone gold as they floated through the spotlight. _

_They won't see  
The fire you have lit inside of me  
They look up to the stars  
And wonder where you might be  
They look up without realizing  
That they're standing right there in the palm of your hand  
I can't explain or understand  
I just love You _

_Glancing around, he saw both Jay and Jake captured in the moment as well, transfixed with the stage, both of them had tears streaming freely down their faces as they watched their friend give the most beautiful performance they had ever had the blessing of seeing. She didn't even need a band, her voice alone could fall even the tallest mountains to rubble. The air alone seemed to stop and time slipped on like it was balanced on the eye of a needle._

_It's common knowledge  
That you've been dead for a while  
It's well known that the cross is only a burden  
With pains and trials  
But then again how come my shoes are so light  
How come I can walk for miles  
And still just love You _

So I think I'll stay  
Caught up in a silent prayer  
I believe in silence  
Our hearts speak the same word  
So why don't we just walk along  
The shoreline with a silent song  
Cause I believe in Silence  
Our hearts speak the same word

We have to prove  
That our love is real over and over again  
But let them think what they want  
I know it will never end  
Because I know where it began  
And my heart still heart still pounds twice as fast  
Whenever you walk by  
Cause I still love you

So I think I'll stay...

**That's all guy sorry if it was horrible, but I tried really hard. Please review. New update pretty much tonight, tomorrow, or on boxing day depending on how I hold up during the holiday. Anyways, REVIEW! **

**Also… made a Lunar Phases wallpaper, accessible on my profile page. Check it out, copy paste it to your desktop… comment on it… I dunno… be a fan…**


	15. Chapter 15, Healing

**It's gotta be Boxing day somewhere in the world. ANYWAYS, here it is, just as promised. I hope it's not boring… REVIEW PLEASE. 2 CHAPTERS LEFT AND AN EPILOGUE! Woo!**

**Thanks to all my betas and reviewers for the helpful comments. I'm now beta free and checking my own stuff, so if you notice the editing in this one, blame the writer. THANKS FOR READING!**

**DISCLAIMER: I still own nothing, want a proper disclaimer, see older chapters. Song is by Snow Patrol; it's called 'Open Your Eyes' and it's from their new CD. Check it out.**

**Chapter 15: Healing.**

Willow awoke slowly, her head giving off a bit of a buzz as she did. The wolf pulling her back into consciousness, it was a new experience for her, but it was also a welcomed change. She felt whole for the first time since she was bitten and the feeling was more comforting than her blurry mind could put into words at the moment.

Turning slowly, still without opening her eyes, she wondered vaguely where she was, the last thing she remembered was Chiyo. She wondered what had happened during her absence and which side had won.

Considering she was lying on a bed, she decided she had survived and was no longer 'in between.' Where she was however, was another matter altogether. Dreading opening her eyes was only one factor in her charade; it was far too comfortable in the warm bed. She let out a slight sigh.

"Willow, open your eyes…" Xander's voice filled the room and un-filtered relief spread through Willow's body, she hadn't even realized how worried she had been. She promptly opened her eyes and spotted Xander sitting in a chair beside her, luckily she was in her own bedroom.

He smiled at her and she felt a grin fall upon her lips. "How're you feeling?" He asked grinning back. "Tired." Willow drawled, cuddling into her pillow. "Considering how much drugs Dr. Jay pumped you full of." Xander commented, a grin sliding onto his face.

Willow groaned, "My head hurts…" She commented. Xander got up and closed the blinds, "Jay said you had a concussion." Xander explained with a frown. Willow nodded, having one's head kicked so hard you died, could do that to a person.

"How is everyone?" Willow asked glancing over at the sheer curtains, glowing pure white with filtered sunlight and to Xander's turned back. Xander turned from the window. "Alive." He stated somberly, he walked back to her bedside and grabbed her hand. "Buffy's in rough shape but she's doing quite well, as long as she gets some rest. Jay has a bullet wound in his stomach, but that's pretty much healed, both Faith and Connor have gashes and cuts that are pretty bad, Jake's bashed up also and he has a concussion, Dawn got shot in the leg as well as cuts and bruises, Spike's got whatever Spike has, Giles has a stab wound of all things, and everyone has cut's and bruises, some sprains." Xander showed off his sprained ankle. Willow let out a shuddering sigh.

"It's not your fault, we'll heal Will." Xander said a rueful smile spreading across his face. "Do you think you can eat?" Xander asked changing the subject. Willow frowned, "Not even this?" Xander left the room for a second and came back with a steamy glass, the smell of chocolate filled the air.

"Noticed you never finished the last one." Xander commented smiling wryly. He held it up to her nose, "C'mon Will, extra marshmallows, the good kind, the mini ones…" Willow grabbed the mug and used her fingers to fish out the hot chocolately marshmallows, she popped one in her mouth and sighed with content.

"Well, that didn't take much prompting." Xander said poking the ticklish part on her stomach, Willow laughed, almost spilling her hot chocolate and feeling 5 in the process.

Then a thought stuck her like thunder. "What about Oz, you never mentioned Oz." She said putting down the mug with more force then she meant to and did spill some in the process this time. Anxiety filled her chest, and soon that warm comforting feeling was all but a memory.

Xander's smiling lips turning into a thin line, his eyes hardened and he squeezed her hand. "Tell me Xander. You couldn't have kept it from me for very long you know, if you wanted that to happen you sent the wrong person." Willow stated shaking her head. "Well you know me, never the brainy one; I was missing that side of the team." Xander commented. Willow bit her lip. "Tell me." She asked again.

"Jay's kept him in a chemical comma. If Oz wakes up, he might die from the pain, the silver spread through his system Will" Xander explained quickly, like he was ripping off a band-aid. Willow's breath caught, like something heavy had just landed on her chest. Her heart raced. She sat bolt up right in the bed, ignoring her spinning head and stood up.

"Which room is he in?" Willow asked urgently. Xander stood also, "Joyce's old room." He stated, watching her with concerned eyes. "I'm okay Xander." Willow stated, starting out of the room, Xander picked up her hot chocolate with a sigh and brought it with him.

Jay was just leaving the room, seemingly on his way to go check on her, he reminded her of a bee buzzing around a hive, he glanced up to look where he was going and saw her through a forest of mahogany curls. He stopped and they made eye contact, seemingly frozen.

"Um, good morning…" Jay stated running a hand through his mop. "What time is it?" Willow asked, caught off guard by the statement, she must look terrible... Jay stopped for a moment and checked his watch, "Err, 2…" He stated frowning. Willow took a step forward and was wrapped up in warm arms. "Good afternoon then…" Jay mumbled. Willow hit him. "What was that for?" He asked stepping back. "Getting shot you dummy." Willow stated dodging him again and walking towards Joyce's old room again.

With Jay and Xander following her now she got to the closed door and placed her hand on the knob, fear struck her like lightning and she froze. Pushing on, she took a deep breath and turned the handle. She walked into the room slowly, her bare feet hitting the worn carpet with slight slapping noises. The wolf inside of her automatically told her another werewolf was in the room, and her heightened sense of sight saw through the darkness of the room and directed her to a small lump under the covers of the queen sized bed.

The lights flicked on behind her and Jay walked into the room alone, holding her forgotten hot chocolate. Apparently he had talked Xander out of coming in the room as well, deciding to play the doctor as well as the best friend at the moment.

He walked over and handed her the hot chocolate again. A lump rose in Willow's throat and she walked over to the side of the bed, placing the hot chocolate on the bedside table. He looked so small under the covers; his face was bruised and pale. The new green and yellow bruises making his familiar face almost alien.  
_  
All this feels strange and untrue  
And I won't waste a minute without you  
My bones ache, my skin feels cold  
And I'm getting so tired and so old_

Multiple tubes were situated in his arm and a breathing machine had been installed to help him stay alive. Willow felt her arm move up towards her mouth. His chest moved up and down slowly and jerkily, his breath came in shuddering gasps and his whole body shook as it came and left. His blue hair was caked with dirt and dried mud.

_The anger swells in my guts  
And I won't feel these slices and cuts  
I want so much to open your eyes  
Cos I need you to look into mine _

Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. Jay came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, his face grim and pale. "He won't last too much longer this way." He stated hollowly. Willow gagged and almost threw up. She grabbed one of Oz's pale hands and squeezed it tightly, hoping to God that he would some how magically squeeze back.

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
_

Hot tears started to fall down her tired cheeks, as his ice-cold fingers stayed limp in her hands. She wanted to scream, to run out of there, and never come back, her chest heaved and her heart turned to ice. She turned back to Jay, her eyes flashing with fury, waiting for an explanation.

_Get up, get out, get away from these liars  
Cos they don't get your soul or your fire  
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine  
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time  
_

They must have flashed with the wolf, as he paled and took a step back. Willow felt tears dripping off her chin and she sighed, ramming her fingers through her own messy hair.

_Every minute from this minute now  
We can do what we like anywhere  
I want so much to open your eyes  
Cos I need you to look into mine  
_

Jay bit his lip, as the tension between them became that of the tension between strangers. That's what it felt like now. Finally he opened his mouth, willing the words to flow, wishing he could have been anywhere else at the moment. "He's on life support for now. We had to steal a machine from Sunnydale Memorial. We didn't want to let him go, because you weren't awake." Jay's voice broke.

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
_

Willow reached for his hand and he walked over and grabbed it. Willow could smell his tears hit the air, and watched as a couple ran down his cheeks. "It's t-that bad?" Willow asked quietly. Jay looked into her eyes, his own chocolate brown orbs shining and nodded. Willow let out a sob and covered her face, not being able to bear look at Oz's pale face anymore.

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
_

Jay rubbed her back, attempting to deal with his own emotions. It was silent for a while as both friends grieved. After what seemed like hours Jay sighed and checked his watch… "I guess it would be pointless to ask how you're feeling?" He asked glancing up at Willow's pale face.

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

Willow let a ghost of a smile twerk her lips up ever so slightly, but it never reached her eyes. "Do you want some Tylenol? You can have some now if you need it." Jay asked searching through his pockets and pulling out a small bottle of extra strength Tylenol, travel sized, just like he had back in the forest, her first morning after a change. The memory brought a smile to her lips and the friends indulged in a good memory for a second, until reality hit again, they would never again walk into a living room, scare and wake up the sleeping lump on the couch.

_All this feels strange and untrue  
And I won't waste a minute without you_

The same sleeping lump was lying on the bed in front of them, not able to wake up, or even breath on his own. Willow quickly grabbed the pills and swallowed them dry. The silence threatened to burry them up again and Jay wouldn't have it, he couldn't just sit in silence anymore.

"Xander, Xander said that you might be able to help Oz more than I can. Just like you did back in the woods." Jay started cautiously running a hand through his hair. Willow nodded, an idea striking her like lightning. "Yes, I think that would be a good idea, I just have to grab my books." Willow started. Jay nodded, "Do you think you're strong enough, I don't want you to hurt yourself." He asked sincerely. Willow nodded eagerly, now that she had the wolf 24/7 she had double the power that she could tap into, so right now she had about the same amount of power she did regularly.

"Before all the fighting started I was pushing around ideas on how to fix the scars on his back, I realized I probably could make it less visible, I'm not sure about how the muscles are but I wanted to try anyways, it was just a matter of getting him to sit through it…" Willow sombered, "I guess we don't have to worry about that anymore." She finished quietly.

Jay nodded silently. "Can- Can I see what it's like?" Willow asked swallowing the lump that had risen in her throat. Jay nodded and stood from where he was seated on the bed and slowly pulled back the covers on the bed, plastic pads lined his scarred chest. Willow examined it with untrained eyes, but eyes filled with concern instead.

Red dots on Oz's chests were scattered through out his rib cage area, over the bruises. "What are those?" Willow asked pointing them out to Jay who frowned. "Those were there when we put him here yesterday, I thought they were just scratches from when he had jumped off the roof and into the bush, but those should have healed by now." Jay commented with a frown.

"He jumped off the roof." Willow asked back tracking for a second. "Yeah, him and Sasha made a run for it…" Jay stopped, "It's ok, I know my body wasn't dead as long as I was." Willow re-assured, saving Jay from an awkward conversation. Jay looked confused, "You were both in there?" He asked paling.

Willow frowned slowly. "No, they put me in between, where I met a monk named Chiyo and had some tea and a swimming lesson." She explained. Jay paled, "A-a swimming lesson…" He stated running a hand through his hair, his eyes widened.

"Yes." Willow stated wondering if he knew what she was talking about. "Chiyo…" Jay said again. "Yes." Willow said. "As in the first leader of the C.W's. The guy that figured out how to bring man and wolf together, the man who…" Willow cut him off. "Yes Jay. _The_ Chiyo." She said finally.

"Hahaha! Nice dream Willow, seriously, you really had me going there." Jay stated, "Where did you read that?" He asked. "No where, do you really think I would have time to read up about Chiyo, during the three nights I knew about the C.W's, no chance." Willow exclaimed.

Jay thought for a moment and then realization struck his face like lightning. "Swimming lesson… You did meet him. I knew there was something different about you, and when your eyes flashed earlier I thought it was just because you were tired. You learned how to work with it…" Jay stated amazed. Willow nodded.

"That's amazing…" Jay exclaimed walking over to Willow, and giving her a hug. Willow nodded, and then looked back at Oz's deathly still body. The moment was bitter sweet; she wished Oz could have been awake to hear her say that. With a shuddering sigh she went back to examining the damage to Oz's body. Jay watched, mixed feelings clouding his thoughts like a shadow.

"What do you think those could be?" Willow asked Jay glancing back at the still beaming man, he sombered again. "I don't know, it could be a sign from the body that the lungs are finished, it could be spare shrapnel from a silver bullet, it could be anything…" Jay said shrugging, "We would need a proper X-ray to really see what the internal damage is and deal appropriately, but we can't get into the hospital as people have already come back and are getting the hospital up and running again. I can only treat the symptoms as I see them." Jay said desperately.

Willow sighed once again, and thought about the words Jay had spoken all of them so true. Reality was coming into play, and life wasn't going to get any easier. Suddenly she had an idea. "What did you say about silver?" She asked frowning.

Jay stared for a second. "I said he might have been hit by some spare shrapnel… why?" He asked confused. "I was doing a silver summoning spell the night of the fight…" Willow said biting her lip. "You think you might have gotten the stuff in…" Jay's voice trailed off and a smile spread across his face. "Willow you genius! You think that the silver summoning spell you did got some of the silver from his lungs to come out from the surface of his skin…" Jay said getting up and pacing. Willow nodded at him.

"It makes sense too, the silver should have spread a lot less than what it did when he did all that physical stuff, I just thought that it had been worse than before or that there had been silver in the bomb he had been hit with. I mean I had no way of knowing, he's been unconscious since we got him home. But, that makes sense, since the summoning spell got some of the silver out of his system probably got the rest in his blood stream." Jay thought out loud.

Willow nodded, feeling kind of bad that she had made it worse. "But would a concentrated spell work? And could you do it? I know the healing time would take a little longer than usual because the cuts were formed with silver, but in the long run…" "He would be cured." Willow finished. "I could concentrate the spell, and I could probably do it today, again, I just have to check my books…" Willow said, feeling a little better, things seemed to be looking up.

"The only problem is, his body might not be able to take anymore stress, even the slightest bit, there's a real chance he might die." Jay started seriously. "But he'll die either way. At least we tried." Willow whispered more tears forming.

Jay studied her seriously with his mahogany eyes, "We can do this…" He said frowning. Willow nodded, her stomach flopping nervously. She was sure she wanted to do this, she just wasn't sure if she could deal with killing him, she loved him, she loved him more than she wanted to confess to herself at the moment.

"Dawn just took over in the kitchen, you guys might want to head downstairs to get some grilled cheese before she starts putting crazy shit in there again." Faith commented as she stepped into the room. She stopped to observe Willow for a moment and a small smile quirked her face. "Morning sleeping beauty. How's the head?" She asked. Willow smiled, "Painful." She stated. Faith nodded, "Mine too, hurts like a bitch. You guys gonna eat?" She asked. Jay glanced over at Willow and gave her a meaningful look before grabbing both shoulders and pushing her towards the door.

"Looks like I have no choice in the matter now." Willow said sending Jay menacing look as she was shoved out the door. "You do remember I'm a doctor. You do also remember, Dawn is cooking." Jay commented cocking an eyebrow. "I do remember Oz telling me you were trained to be a doctor but skipped the exams." Willow stated cheekily, "Hence still not a doctor." She added.

"Would you rather suffer in pain… remember, I'm the one with the shiny drugs." Jay stated pushing her out of the door again. Willow held on to the door frame, now being able to use her werewolf strength for fighting back. "Whoa, you might have werewolf strength, but I work out." Jay stated smirking and grabbing her arms from the doorway. Willow sighed and gave in and they both walked down the stairs for lunch.

* * *

"You aren't serious. You do realize that's kind of insane." Jake exclaimed after Jay had explained what Willow was planning on trying. "For once I agree with Jake." Giles started running a hand through his hair. He turned to Willow, "You _died_ Willow, you need more than a one day's rest to recuperate from that before even thinking of doing any magic." Giles cautioned softly.

Willow shook her head, glancing around at all the eyes watching her in the room. Dawn and Connor were sharing a chair in the full kitchen. "I'm strong enough to be able to do the spell tonight, I don't know how long he's going to last the way he is." She added quietly.

"Then you should do it Willow." Dawn stated nodding. "If you feel like you can do it then you should. We can't lose him. He saved all our asses. He deserves another chance." Dawn stated shaking her head in agreement.

"A lot of people deserve another chance Dawn." Giles said quietly. "So your saying that just because a lot of people never get a second chance we shouldn't give Oz one. Even though we have the ability to give that chance?" Dawn asked her eyes flashing dangerously.

Giles shook his head "I'm simply saying that I don't think Oz would like the idea of Willow… dying to try to save him." He tried to explain. "I'm not going to die!" Willow exclaimed, frustrated. "I'm fine." She said louder. She raised her chin and glanced around at the faces in the room. He resolve face plastered firmly on.

"There's no use arguing with her, she's gone…" Spike stated from the corner, his arms crossed. Willow walked out of the room, sandwich still in hand and heading towards her bedroom. She rubbed her temples, the booming thud in her head doubling as frustration hit. With a sigh she sat down at her computer and turned it on, glad Xander had had a chance to fix the power again. It hummed pleasantly as it woke up from it's 5 day hibernation and cooperated.

She knew she had stiffed her friends, but she was on a mission and she wouldn't stop until it was over. She loved Oz, more than she had thought possible, and she had learned that in the basement waiting to change. She needed to try. She needed to do something.

She quickly logged in and went into her e-mail box, ignoring he 60 new e-mails and logging on to her forum. Slowly she typed out what she was attempting to do in her Wiccan forum and then started consulting her books to find out a way to make the spell less rough and more concentrated.

She had just cracked open her second book when she heard soft footsteps coming up the stairs, knowing immediately it was Giles she frowned at the door as she waited for that much anticipated soft knock. It came and even though she knew it was coming she still jumped at the sound.

"Willow, we need to talk." Came Giles's soft accented voice. "Come in" She stated

* * *

Surrounded by a circle of pure white salt, Jay and Willow sat each on one side of the bed Oz was lying in. Jay was making sure the machines kept Oz alive during the procedure, as well as moral support for Willow. He was also maintaining the drug dosage and was there to make sure nothing happened to either Willow or Oz. He gave her a supportive smile as she adjusted the long sleeves on her loose fitting dress.

With a slight sigh she began once again to go over the spell components in her head, checking off her mental checklist of things she needed to fix. She decided it would be a long process, a long exhausting process.

Willow sighed and let the magic of the earth and the magic of her self co-mingle with each other for a few seconds, a rush of newfound energy hit her and radiated off her in the form of a glow. Slowly she raised her chin just enough to see Oz's motionless body in the golden silhouette of the candles that surrounded them both.

Slowly she lifted her hands enough for them to be situated just above his body and allowed her magic to act as a second pair of eyes and seek out what wrong with him. They indicated both old wounds and new ones with a level of detail even a lover or mother couldn't imagine.

Taking a deep breath she allowed the calming lavender incense to do the trick and then beginning the spell, slowly chanting the Latin words she used her hands as a truncate for the magic, she watched as a glow filled her eyes, his aura was a very strong blue green like his eyes, it looked faded now like an old pair of blue jeans, like an old painting left in the sun. The magic slowly began to pull her in.

It was a slow process, she could feel him inside of her, she could feel her lungs completely in tune with his, soon she couldn't even open her eyes, she was one with his body, it was an amazing feeling, but the pain was horrendous, she had to fight to stay conscious, it took a long time, how long she couldn't tell, as clocks weren't allowed within the room where magic was cast.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, she could feel the blood pump through each vain in his body, the air flow through his lungs and feel the sheets covering his body. Slowly she prodded around deeper and located ever piece of silver in his body.

The chanting died away, turning from a loud voice to a ghost of a whisper, then there was nothing, and slowly she began to weave with her hands creating a net over his body for safety purposes. Then she began to slowly work the spell…

* * *

Jake was sitting alone on the front stoop of the Summer's house, sipping an amber liquid in a mug. The sun had disappeared over the horizon just over an hour ago and a waning moon hung just above the horizon. A warm wind blew in the air but Jake paid no attention to it, as he was deep in thought.

Sighing he took a drink of his Jack Daniels and crossed his legs, not bothering even blinking. This wasn't the norm for him, sure he was used to being alone, but he wasn't used to thinking in his solitude. Silence engulfed the suburban streets as they were still deserted and he was content just to sit and think.

He jumped when he felt a hand ruffle his hair and looked up to see Faith standing over him. "Don't touch the hair, seriously, you have no idea the hell I go through to get it this pretty." Jake mumbled cradling his mug and not bothering to move over so that she could sit.

She sat anyways, mock kicking his butt over to make room for her own. "You've been quiet lately." She stated glancing his way in an attempt to make eye contact and not succeeding, instead she looked out at the moon. A frown creasing her forehead, she pulled out the rest of the bottle of J.D. and took a sip from it directly. "Spike'll be pissed we're putting it down but screw it, I'm not going all the way to the liquor store just to get what I need, damn." She stated. Jake remained quiet, which didn't really seem to bother her.

"Worried about Oz? She asked glancing over at him with soft brown eyes. Jake sighed, "You aren't going to go away are you?" He asked shaking his head. "Nope, unless you want to physically remove me, and that might prove difficult." Faith stated. Jake inwardly kicked himself for not finding a better place to flash.

"So you gonna tell me or am I gonna have to take you?" Faith asked. Jake looked away. "Christ you're hard to deal with, and that's saying something, I've had to work with watchers." Faith commented taking another drink and offering the bottle to Jake who poured himself a refill.

"Sasha said something to me up on the roof…" Jake started slowly, he wasn't sure why but he felt safe telling Faith what was going on. Now _that_ was a feeling he wasn't used to.

Faith frowned and nodded, "Something about Oz or the Scoob. Troop?" She asked. When Jake shook his head her eyebrows shot up. "Well, it's got you thinking, what did she say?" Faith asked. Jake shook his head. "That's just the thing," He said slowly, "It wasn't in English…" His voice trailed off and he took another sip of the alcohol. "Well, that's what the Internet is for, hell even Giles knows at least seven languages." Faith cut in. "No, that's not the problem, I understood what she said…" Jake commented looking her in the eye for the first time since she had come outside.

"Well, then what's the problem?" Faith asked, "I don't speak any other language. I've only ever known English." Jake said with a sigh. Faith remained silent, she didn't know what to say, she knew parts of his story, but he had never told her any of it, she had had to learn from Jay and Sasha. He had just been found one day in a dumpster, blind, naked and burnt. Not able to speak a word, and when he finally did, he had amnesia. A lone nun had taken him in, as doctors wouldn't treat him. The wings brought back the superstition of the human race. He liked to isolate himself from the believers and the non-believers as much as possible, hell he liked to isolate himself from everybody.

The silence between them was uneasy and lingered longer than either of them felt comfortable with. The wind a constant friend tickled between them, the only sound the fluttering leaves in the trees and the slight shuffle of feathers. "We can find out what it is, we can… research…" Faith commented shifting slightly.

Jake shook his head, "Maybe you could say it, I'm not multi lingual but I can recognize the different languages… Comes in handy…" Faith commented. Jake hesitated, not wanting to say, embarrassed, "I don't think I can pronounce it right. I don't even know how it goes…" He stated uneasily.

"Hey man, just say it, I'm not judging you. Hell, I tried to speak French once… long story short… never doing that again." Faith stated solemnly. "Then why do you think I would want to do that?" Jake asked cocking a blond eyebrow in her direction, before chuckling slightly at the prospect of Faith and a bad French experience.

"Hey shut up. I'm not the one that was sitting out here pouting in the dark" Faith commented socking him in the arm. Jake sighed, and rubbed his now throbbing arm, "Ouch, may look super human here, but no, not really…" Jake mumbled

"Say it, what do you have to lose, seriously?" Faith frowned. Jake sighed, defeated "Ok, here goes…" Jake opened his mouth and seemingly mouthed the words. Faith watched, a crease sliding over her forehead. He stopped "There." He said looking defeated. "There what? Was that the silent practice one?" Faith asked sarcastically.

Jake frowned, "I just did, it was perfect… somehow" He commented quietly. "I didn't hear anything Jake. Nothing, did you whisper or something?" Faith asked, wondering if she missed something.

Jake frowned, "No! I just said it, loud enough." He exclaimed stubbornly. Faith shook her head… "Nothing. I heard nothing." Jake swore. "Well at least we know I'm not hearing things right?" He asked bitterly. Faith snorted and took a sip out of the bottle.

"What did she say in English anyways?" Faith asked put the bottle down and Jake stood up, his bare feet clinching in the grass and walked over to the nearest tree, an oldish elm in the front yard and leaned on it, bathing in the silver moonlight. His wings were folded at a comfortable angle. Faith watched, knowing this was one of the only times she could look at them without receiving a glare or harsh words.

They were truly gorgeous. She waited patiently for an answer and it never came. She watched with quiet reverence and waited as seconds turned to minutes. Slowly Jay opened his wings simultaneously. The sight took her breath away, she had never seen them open before, he never allowed anyone to see them open. Sometimes it seemed like they were so much of a burden for him to have them, but right now, seeing him in his entire splendor she knew the opposite was true.

She knew it must hurt him to keep them folded all the time and she watched as he stretched them out. She heard muscles pop, and he gave a soft sigh, his blond hair flew slightly in the spicy night air. Faith's heart went out to the guy, she just wished that one day, he would see what she saw right now. Watching him now she just wanted to see him take off and fly away on his own power, not by flashing, but how he was meant to do it.

It didn't seem long enough that he had them open before he closed them once more, she watched as a visible wince went through his body as they were folded back in. He didn't bother turning around, but if he had she could have sworn that he was uncomfortable, and still in deep thought. She waited un-naturally patient for his answer, and it came quietly,

"She said… There was another and that she was waiting." Jake spoke to the grass. Faith bit her lip. "Another what?" She asked standing. "One that came from where I did…" Jake finished turning and walking past her and into the house, without looking her in the eye. Faith sighed when she heard him stop at the door frame, his hand tensed on the door knob.

"I've been searching since I got here, for someone like me… And now that I know there is one, my heart is breaking. My mind may not be able to remember where I came from, but my heart still does, it still calls for better places, sadness still fills me, longing still makes me bitter… Where ever she is, I hope she's coping better than I am." He whispered softly. He then looked up from the ground, turned the door handle and entered the house, without so much as a glance behind him.

Faith stared at the spot where he had been standing, amazed at what he had just said. Wondering how much Jake really felt inside and how much more he could take. Something about him made her heart go out to the man, she just wished he would open up more. She wished she could help him ease the burden inside of him, even if she didn't know what it was.

* * *

Willow was in a deep trance, and barely breathing, perspiration made her pale skin glow and her red hair stick and curl. A soft glow emanated from her hands and Oz's chest. He hadn't seen anything happen but the glow, this made him uneasy. Jay watched with a locked jaw as he wondered if he should stop her. He had never seen anything like that before.

He hadn't moved since she had started, uneasy at even interrupting the air he was breathing, but now he licked his dry lips and tore his eyes off of his best friend and the young woman trying to save his life. Glancing around the room he noticed a book sitting on the corner of the bedside table beside him. He glanced at the machine to his other side and made sure Oz's vitals were stable before cautiously reaching his hand out and grabbing the old leather band. Keeping his eyes glued on Willow as he did, for any signs that he should stop moving, but none came, she didn't even blink.

Taking up the heavy book in his hands he opened it and flipped through it, taking in the pictures, but not reading much. Until he got to a diagram of the moon… It took up an entire two pages and according to the book the moon was waning tonight, Jay wondered if the meaning had anything to do with Willow being so anxious to get the spell going tonight.

He quickly cross referenced the meaning and found that it meant dispelling negative influences and new ties… he hoped the moon would aid her now even more than it did before as she was now one of it's children. Sighing he looked up and almost jumped. He had been so into reading that he didn't notice that she had stood up, Willow was working hard, her breathing was hard and she was still sweating, but her hands, the ones she had been holding over his chest were still firmly weaving a pattern, an intricate dance of crackling power over his best friend.

He stood in awe, something about her tired face made him think of a warrior, her dress floated with natural wind and her hair blew from an unknown source. Jay wasn't sure whether to panic or bow down to her. The candles that surrounded them had already burnt to the bottom of the wick, were suddenly blown out, shrouding the room in darkness.

The only light came from the salt circle, which was glowing eerily and the blue green glow coming from the spell. It lit the protection spell around them and made it feel like he was in a human fish bowl and then the real magick started happening, Jay was pushed back to his chair with the force of the magick that hit him.

Willow concentrated everything she had left on the silver floating around in Oz's blood, it had taken what seemed like hours to find it, and now that she had, she had to find a place, she decided that the space between his stomach and his ribcage would be as good as any, it was now only a matter of collecting it in one spot.

It happened quicker than she had anticipated, and the room filled with an eerie green glow, praying it wasn't his soul escaping she bit back her fears and pushed on, determined to finish what she had started. Slowly she began calling the silver out of his pores, it followed her commands without a problem and she watched with weary eyes as soon small droplets of silver floated up to just above her open palm, like backwards rain.

The skin surrounding the pores smoked and burned but Willow ruthlessly continued, as minute by minute the silver made it's journey from it's host to the palm of her outstretched hand.

The moon now shone through the open window as it made it's endless cycle through the sky, now Oz's body was surrounded with white light, the liquid silver shone like fresh tears as it came out of the un moving body. She waited, sweat dripping off of her face as one last drop of silver pushed it's way out of the already red area, sizzle and burn his skin slightly and join the rest over her palm.

Taking up some blessed water she poured a few drops on the silver to clense it of blood and evil spirits before bringing her hand up and spreading the fingers. Slowly, deliberately she began to form the silver, stretching it and contorting it to the right shape. She then took up the amethyst crystal she had used as a spell component and fitted it in the middle. She was no artist, but it looked ok.

She then took up a chain from her dress pocket and attached the pendant to it, creating a necklace. She cooled the silver quickly and hefted it in her hands for a moment, chanting a protection spell, she en-spelled it with protection and healing. She then baptized it in lavender smoke.

She glanced up at Jay for the first time since she stared, he was starring at her transfixed with the process. A small smile threatened to quirk her lips as she noticed him with her book clasp firmly in his large hands.

Their eyes met and Willow nodded before reaching over and placing the cresent moon necklace with the purple stone making it full; around Oz's neck and closing the protective circle. With the last movement she slumped down to sit on the side of the bed. Feeling light headed and sore, her energy all but drained. She hadn't realized how much power she had used. But it was finished now.

"Do what you can Jay…" She managed to whisper. Before slumping down onto the bed, eyelids drooping with a weight she hadn't noticed before. Jay nodded, "You did good." He commented dryly. "And I will, don't worry… first though, you need to get some sleep." She heard him comment. She then felt his warm arms surround her and pick her up off the bed, the movement of his walking lulled her to sleep as he exited the room.

She heard voices talking, but was too lazy to figure out whom they belonged to. Jay's voice was assuring as he made his way to her room. He shushed them after a moment and moved her slightly in her arms.

She then felt a hand on her shoulder and she fluttered her eyes open for a moment and saw Xander smiling down at her, before they shut permanently and she felt herself being put on her bed, covered up and then sleep took her.

* * *

"How's he doing?" Jake asked as Jay closed Willow's door. Jay shook his head, "I don't know yet, it's hard to tell what's happened. He's still alive, but I should go back in there and keep watching him." Jay commented glancing around at the group of apprehensive faces.

"You should get some sleep Jay, you haven't slept since you got back from the cabin. I'll watch Oz for a while, while you get some sleep." Xander volunteered. Jay opened his mouth to decline but Xander raised his hand… "You can be in the room even, if anything beeps I'll wake you up." Jay was going to decline again when he noticed how inviting the inside of his eyes looked, before finally nodding. Xander offered him a small smile and everyone went to bed.

* * *

Willow woke up to the sun in her face once more and hushed voices coming from the room beside hers. It took a moment for her to realize what had happened the night before. Yawning she sat up and rubbed her eyes, still tired, but ready to face a new day. She had drained herself far too much the night before, she had never felt so weak after doing an earth spell.

Hopefully it had been worth it, hopefully Oz would be… Oz… She had to know what had happened. She got up and changed this time, hoping that the people in the house hadn't noticed the lack of clean clothes she had built up since she had gotten bitten.

She ran a brush through her hair hurriedly and just about ran out of the room. The house was eerily quiet considering it should have been full of people, but she didn't think to much on it, her head was even worse today than it had been the day before.

Again not much of a surprise, last night considered. Willow reached Joyce's old room and lingered at the door for a moment weary of what she would find behind it. Finally she decided to knock, tentivly she reached out her hand and knocked softly.

Jay answered the door and raised his eyebrows at her. "That was a fast recovery." He commented beckoning her inside and shutting the door behind him, a smile playing on his lips. The first thing Willow noticed was Xander sitting in the second chair beside Oz's bed, he grinned at her and gave her a thumbs up.

Willow frowned at him and then glanced over at Oz under the covers, the bruises on his face were gone but he looked like he was still unconscious. "How is he?" she asked walking over to where Xander was sitting, he scooched over to make room and they shared a chair. Jay walked back and sat on the chair across from him.

"Alive. Which is more than I could have hoped yesterday." Jay stated trying to hide the smile on his face. Willow nodded. "We took him off the ventilator, he's breathing on his own." He added grinning he then winked at her. Willow's mouth turned from a frown to a large O and then she grinned.

"He's a lot better Willow, he should be waking up really soon." Xander started. Willow nodded, "When do you think he'll be able to wake up?" Willow asked glancing at Jay who smiled. "Soon, some time today maybe." He offered taking a sip of something he had in a mug.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while soaking up the sunlight pooling into the room through the small window across from the bed. A moan came from the bed and all eyes shifted to the small form underneath it. Oz turned himself over and got more comfortable in his sleep apparently. Jay grinned, "That's a good sign, that's the first time he's moved from that spot since he was put in the bed." He commented.

"Oz?" Willow asked examining his sleeping form. Oz's eyelids twitched, and a small smile formed on his lips. "Sasha…" He mumbled, barely audible. Willow's heart fell from her chest and she had to stand. "Oh God…" She stated backing away from the bed, tears threatening her eyes. Her mind buzzed as she realized how stupid she had been, turning she left the room at as fast a pace as her tired body could go.

She heard both chairs being slid out of behind her but ignored it, tears were falling now and she felt a wave of nausea hit as she rounded the hallway and skidded into her own bed room, she made sure the door was locked before she collapsed onto the bed releasing a sob.

Maybe he hadn't wanted to be brought back from the dead; maybe he had wanted to die, to be with _her._ Her name had been the first name he said as he came out of the coma. The two of them had beaten Blade together, almost gotten married, almost had children together, he had spent 3 years in a forest just to get over her. He had sacrificed everything to get her back, and now she had just denied him an eternity with her. Who was she to decide his fate?

But… she loved him too. Sasha wasn't the only one completely devoted to Oz. She loved him, at points she couldn't stand not being around him. He was the only person that made her feel okay enough to face the world, when she was feeling alone and segregated. He was the only one who could make the pain of the change tolerable, the only one who could take her fears and burn them from existence. Even then it was selfish of her to keep him for herself, she knew that, she let out another sob and covered her tearstained face.

She knew now, she knew why Giles had been so hesitant to let her perform the spell, it was as much for her well being as it had been for Oz.

_"I know you're quite capable of doing this spell Willow. But, think about what you're doing, you're changing someone's fate. I just don't want you to get hurt, all of you are my responsibility, more importantly, all of you are like my children. I love you all, I feel what you all feel, when you are all hurt, I'm hurt also. I know that doesn't sound like much, but that's all I can do to help you, all of you stay safe." Giles looked up at her with soft eyes. _

Willow had understood, and she had been touched by his fatherly words but, she still had remained defiant, she hadn't understood fully, she hadn't understood the depth of what he had said, and now she had to face Oz, and tell him she was the one who had ripped him from his destiny.

* * *

Xander had followed Willow to her bedroom, but hesitated at her door as he heard her crying. He had known her since kindergarten and had only heard her cry like this a handful of times. It broke his heart inside as he thought of what had just unfolded in the bedroom. He brought his hand up to knock on the door, but past experience with her told him to leave her alone for a while to gather her thoughts before storming in there only to get his head torn off.

Instead he backed away from the door and headed down the stairs to inform everyone of the… news. His mind stayed neutral on whether or not it was good or not for the moment, that decision was one that would need time.

* * *

Jay had stayed behind to see if Oz was going to come to or not. There was a fifty-fifty chance, it could have just been a dream Oz was having. Sighing Xander reached the first floor and motioned for everyone to meet in the kitchen.

"You really made a mess of things man." Jay stated at Oz's unconscious body. He shook his head, a frown creasing his forehead and had another sip of the milk he had in the only clean mug he had found in the house.

Oz's motionless body stayed that way and Jay let out a sigh. "You do realize you're forcing me to have a one sided conversation with myself. Do you realize how humiliating this is?" Jay asked. Nothing, no movement not quirk of a smile, Oz gave him absolutely nothing to work with.

"You made Willow cry you know. That wasn't very nice. Sure it may not have been your fault… but you could have showed some sort of appreciation, she saved your life and you just decide, oh, I think I'll have a dream now. Jeeze." Jay kept talking, partially to quirk Oz's brain to wake up and partially because it was fun, he had no way of talking back. He then realized how sad that was and shut his mouth.

He was lucky to be able to even talk to his still-breathing friend after the condition he had been in the day before, Oz had been on the brink of death, literally hours away from losing his life, until Willow had stepped up. Willow had been absolutely the most amazing thing he had ever seen. The memory of that night, with the green glow and the making of the necklace, would stay with him forever.

She had almost killed herself for him, for someone who had walked out on her on a chase for something she had felt wasn't necessary; she had almost sacrificed her life, for someone who had come back only after the wounds he had caused her had healed, and she had to tear him away again. In a sense they didn't even have a chance, both of them had a choice, life, and instincts had made it impossible to stay together.

But now they had another chance. They could be together now; it was just a matter of letting go of what had made such a profound impact in their lives. Sounded easy enough… Jay rolled his eyes at his own thoughts.

Oz moaned and turned over again. "Where am I?" Came a weak but extremely familiar voice. "Buffy's house." Jay answered coming over to check Oz over. Knowing full well that his lack of oxygen over the last few days could have given Oz brain damage. Grabbing his wrist Jay took his friend's pulse, whilst counting he wanted to make sure his friend stayed conscious. "You don't have to hold my hand you know… I'm a big boy" Oz mumbled.

"So you know who you are?" Jay asked, starting the regular, 'protocol' questions. "No, I'm completely ignorant Jay." Oz mumbled. "What's your age?" Jay continued, a smile quirked his lips. Oz opened his eyes to retort but closed them, "Turn off the sun." He commented covering his head with the blankets. "After you answer the age question." Jay stated stubbornly.

A hand reached out from under the covers, and they shook on it. "Well…?" Jay asked quirking an eyebrow. "I'm 97, close the curtains now." Came the answer. "But that wasn't right…" Jay stated crossing his arms. "Our agreement wasn't on the credibility of the answers, just on the fact that I gave you an answer." Came the voice from under the bedspread.

Jay gave him an over exaggerated sigh, before complying and closing the windows. "Remind me to be more specific next time." Jay mumbled. "Be more specific next time." Oz stated quietly, he then proceeded to pull down the covers and glance around.

"A day and a half." Jay answered Oz's unspoken question. A long sigh resounded from the room then a look of surprise fluttered across Oz's normally stoic face. "What the…" He started, "Willow figured out how to fix that…" Jay stated a smile gracing his face. "and I helped." He added a bit sheepishly.

Oz stared for a second. Then a smile broke his face. "Whoa…" he commented. "No shit man." Jay stated running a hand through his thick hair. "You should have been there man, it was amazing…" Jay stated going all dreamy eyed. Oz watched him for a second, counting down the seconds. "Well, I guess you were there, but you should have been conscious." Jay added frowning.

Oz nodded, "I should have." He agreed, then a thought struck him. "How is she? Where is she?" He asked hurriedly, he sat up and then slumped back down again. "Ouch…" He added.

"Take it easy man. Hold on for a second." Jay stated checking his watch and taking out his tell tale bottle of Tylenol, "Take two and I'll explain." Jay commented switching back and fourth from best friend to doctor with relative ease. "She didn't hurt herself did she?" Oz asked slowly, concern filling his eyes. He took the pills in his hand and swallowed them dry.

That's when he noticed the necklace. He looked up at Jay who shrugged. "You should remember that, it lived in your lungs for a couple of years. The rock's new though." He commented. Oz cocked an eyebrow at it. "Willow made it, supposed to bring you luck or something." Jay commented.

Oz sighed then nodded expectantly at Jay. "She's fine, she recovered with a night's worth of sleep and she came to visit this morning. How she is mentally however, is a different story." Jay stopped to take a breath and Oz raised another eyebrow, worry filling his thoughts, his empty stomach clenched.

"She was sitting in here with Xander and I when you turned around and mumbled Sasha, and she broke down." Jay explained. Oz swore inwardly. "How long ago?" Oz asked quietly. Jay glanced at his watch. "Bout twenty minutes." Jay stated cautiously.

Oz attempted to get up again succeeding this time. "I'm gone…" He stated attempting to get up. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. You haven't been up and about in days." Jay warned in an empty voice. There was no point in arguing with him about it. No one listens to the doctor.

Oz gave him a look and he shrugged. "You weren't going to listen anyways. What do I know, I'm only a trained physician." Jay commented rolling his eyes. "Then swim the other way and help me up." Oz commented ignoring his rant and sliding his legs over the side of the bed.

A small smile floated over Jay's face and he walked over to help his friend.

* * *

A soft knock beckoned her to open the door but she ignored it and kept her head buried in her pillow. "Willow…" came a weak but determined voice. A voice that was still supposed to be unconscious, "Oz?" She asked raising her head from the pillow to frown up from the door.

"Yah?" Came the voice. Willow's heart sank, "Come in, the lock stops working after the third try. Spike broke it." Willow commented quietly. The door knob wiggled for a second and Willow had to look away from the door as he walked in, not wanting to face him. Shame filled her chest.

Oz walked into the dark room and was hit with the scent of Willow and tears. Blinking as his eyes adjusted to the gray light filtered through the sheer curtains. He closed the door and glanced around the room, stopping at pictures of the group, some of Tara and even a few of him that donned the walls and shelves, dried flowers filled a vase to the left and a dressing mirror and dresser was in the corner, necklaces and rings were splayed across it among some light make up and some rose water.

An old 'Dingoes' poster was hung in the corner as well as a few stuffed animals on shelves. A chest held spell components and other stuff he was guessing. Shaking his head to clear his muffled thoughts he turned his attention to the woman lying on the bed, not facing him.

Her red hair splayed over her pillow like a bloodstain, and she had her head in her hands. He stood there, just watching for what seemed like forever, "I'm sorry." She mumbled from the bed through tears.

Oz hobbled over to the bed and sat down, placing a soft hand on her long hair. "For what?" He asked softly. "You probably didn't want to come back…" She mumbled curling up. "Why would I not want to come back?" Oz asked, knowing full well why.

"Cause, you have Sasha waiting for you." Willow whispered in a voice barely audible. "And you have Tara waiting for you. But you don't want to die do you?" Oz's voice of reason resounded through the silence. Willow shook her head slowly and turned over to look Oz in the eye for the first time in what seemed like a long time.

"Thank you…" Oz stated softly. Willow sat up and they shared a tight embrace. "I was so afraid I was going to lose you as well." She whispered into his ear. Oz held her thin frame for a long time before he took her soft hand and pulled back. "Sasha was a huge part of my life Will, and I love her a lot, but it would be condemning her memory to let myself die, I have to live to remember the good times." Oz spoke knowingly.

Willow nodded, tears forming in her already shining eyes. "I'm sorry." She commented quietly. "Don't be. It's done, we all need to just move on." Oz stated simply. Willow glanced around at all the pictures donning the walls and her eyes fell on her favorite one of Tara, taken at a park located close by, she had been wearing a red flowered dress and was smiling up at the camera.

"What if I don't know how? I still try to hold her hand in bed, I'll wake up and wonder where she went. Oz, I don't know if I can. I love her so much, and she's been gone over three years now." She whispered tears falling like diamonds off her cheeks. Oz squeezed her hand and for the first time realized how much she must miss her girl friend. "Then I'll help you." He offered with a smile in her direction. Even without a shower or a hairbrush, she was still one of the most beautiful people in the world.

Willow nodded and gave a bit of a sniffle before enveloping him in another hug. He ran his hand down her back and hair and felt her breathe. "Willow, I love you. I love you more than I thought I could ever love someone ever again." He whispered into her hair.

"I love you too…" Willow stated. "Good to know." Oz stated offering a bit of a smile, he took his knuckle and placed it under her chin to look into her bright green-hazel eyes. "I guess I'm trying to ask is, I'd still if you'd still." Oz spat out finally. Willow chuckled a little bit, "I'd very still." She stated nodding.

Oz sighed a bit of relief and realized how much he had really changed. He could breathe. He was healed. He got up slowly and walked over to the mirror and turned around slightly, taking off his shirt. His heart jumped with surprise as most of the scars had disappeared and the residual was smooth skin, he didn't know what to think, surprise hit him like a slap in the face and he almost lost his wobbly footing.

It seemed like every reminder he had of the compound where he had been held had disappeared. It was scary, and somehow in his heart he felt like it needed to happen. The residual scars were the worst of the bunch and he would keep those forever as a reminder of what had happened to them, and how he lost her.

He glanced over at Willow who was watching him from her bed. "That's the best I could do." She stated with a frown. Oz couldn't help but break out in a big grin. "Willow, I don't know what to say. Thank you, thank you so much…" He exclaimed coming over. "This is amazing. You are amazing…" He whispered into her ear. She pulled back, "That's the best I could do." She repeated.

"I'd be scared if you could do more." He stated, his eyes still wide. It was silent again for a while and then Oz got back up to examine his back, not believing it was real. He wasn't normally a cosmetic type of person, ever, but those scars had only reminded him of the pain he held in his heart, they were a physical reminder of how Blade had fucked up his life. Now he only had a little reminder to make him thankful for what he had; and he would never forget.

Looking at his reflection again he noticed the necklace again. "Thanks for the jewelry." Oz commented pulling at it. "No problem." Willow commented getting up and wiping her eyes. It was quiet for a second as Willow thought, biting her tear salted lip. "I have to leave town for a while Oz, I need to get out of the memories, I can still feel her here Oz, I need to not feel her anymore. Every time I run into someone wearing her perfume in the street or who resembles her at all I just… She's still mine, she's still here behind me haunting my shadow." More tears fell, but she ignored them.

"I'm tired Oz, I'm so tired of mourning her, I feel so bad saying it, but I _can't_ do it any more. But… I-I don't think I could stand saying good-bye. I never even gave her the Wiccan ceremony when she died, even though I knew she would want it…" Willow's voice died away. All the pain pent up in her heart finally came to the surface, she couldn't hide it anymore and she couldn't mourn anymore. She loved Oz with all she had, but she couldn't forget whom she had loved before him and how she died. The memory needed to stay cemented in her mind forever, but the pain needed to leave so that she could honor that memory the best she could.

"When you're ready, we'll do the ceremony and leave town for a while, promise." Oz stated softly, he came over and rubbed her shaking shoulders as she held in sobs. "I promised someone I'd go get her canvas down in Miami anyways." He commented looking down on her.

"Look. I'm all soggy." Willow motioned towards herself and a small smile appeared on her lips, even though it didn't show in her eyes. Put an arm around her shoulders. "It'll be ok. I promise." He commented, quietly.

For the first time in a long time, she believed the person who said that phrase.

* * *

Jay had just come downstairs and announced the awake-ness of Oz and how he would be coming down the stairs, much the surprise and delight of the occupants.

Upon hearing the news Dawn, who was sitting on the couch with Connor, turned to him " Hey, do me a favor" Dawn asked Connor after Connan had finished; Connor looked over at her and raised her eyebrows.

"What is it?" He asked after a few seconds. Dawn tried to make it like it wasn't a big deal. "I just need you to wait until you hear Oz coming down the stairs and turn off the TV. Then in a loud-ish voice go, 'That sure was a good episode of Nwad' That's all, ok?" Dawn explained, hoping Connor would agree.

"This isn't going to get me in trouble right? I mean, Oz isn't going to suddenly lash out with anger and bitch slap me or something right?" Connor asked. Dawn sighed, "Since when does _Oz_ lash out in anger?" She asked. Connor still looked skeptical. "Hey… isn't Nwad Dawn spelt backwards??" Connor asked a smile playing across his face now.

Dawn simmered, "No questions just do it!" She exclaimed glaring. "But…" Connor was about to complain until he felt soft lips on his and opened his eyes to see Dawn firmly kissing him, he was surprised, yes, but pleasantly.

When they finally pulled away, Dawn watched him, still slightly annoyed it had come to this. "I'll do it." Connor said hastily. They sat in silence for a while as they waited for Oz to appear.

"So is there a pay as you go feature for holding the information, before using it?" Connor asked wiggling his eyebrows. "For you?" Dawn asked sarcastically. "You've got to be joking. Unless you can somehow morph into Johnny Depp and take me to the ship." She stated stubbornly.

Connor opened his mouth to retort when she grabbed his arm and motioned towards the stairs. Sure enough there was Oz, on his feet, coming down the stairs. Willow was by his side.

With an over exaggerated sigh, he used an abnormally large hand gesture to turn off the TV, and true to his word exclaimed in a slightly girly voice. "WOW! That was an excellent Nwad episode!" Before putting down the remote, rolling his eyes at Dawn before getting up and dramatically leaving the room.

Oz finished his trek down the stairs, raised an eyebrow at Dawn, who tried to look natural (and was failing horribly) and walked into the kitchen with Willow. By the time he got out of the room Spike stepped out of the shadows and raised a scarred eyebrow at her. "Take me to his ship…?" He asked a sly grin spreading across his face.

Dawn glared daggers. "Shut up!" she exclaimed leaving the room, with a look of contempt, simmering with annoyance.

**IMPORTANT: The Faith/Jake part was foreshadowing for a novel I'm in the process of planning. What did you think? If you were in a book store looking for a book, would you consider one with the story board I gave Jake? Would that story boad interest you?? PLEASE GIVE ME AN ANSWER!!!**

**Two more chapters left, and an epilogue! I hope this chappy wasn't terribly boring. Tell me what you think. New chapter soon, I'm hoping to finish this fic before I go back to school on January 8th. More W/O coming promise! PEACE:**

** W-B-D:) **


	16. Chapter 16, Party at The Bronze

**Short little filler here you guys… I was originally going to have a full 'Bronze' chapter with everything that happened, but it was pissing me off so I tossed it and intertwined this chapter with the last chapter… wow the last chapter… weird? I think so. Anyways double posting today so get ready for awesomeo Lunar Phases awesomeness.**

**DISCLAIMER: I disclaim everything that I don't own. So there:p**

**Thanks to my one reviewer! Thanks also, to my good friend Riley who kicked my butt into gear and listened to all my complaining. I owe you big time! Much lub!**

**Chapter 16: Party at the Bronze.**

Willow stood motionless in the shower, allowing for the heat of the water and steam to hit her bare back in a constant torrent. She hadn't showered since waking up the first time, and from that time on, it had been far too long.

Night air blew over her head from the window in the small, much shared bathroom. It's spicy breeze surrounded her head and cooled her super hot skin, taking a deep sigh she allowed her mind to wander, tracing the scents of the night to where they originated from, her super hearing heard soft footsteps coming up the stairs along with the slight hum of the TV, other than that there was silence, just the sound of the hot water hitting her skin.

She was in almost complete darkness, two lit candles were placed on either side of the small counter and they provided the only light source in the room. But she could see fine. Such a new sensation didn't go un-noticed, or unappreciated for that matter.

Something about that made her feel safer, in a way it made her feel whole. Sighing slightly she glanced down at the shampoo choices, numerous people in the house only meant more selection for her. She reached down for her usual strawberry scented bottle, half drained by the Summer's sisters, apparently when the witch was away the sisters use all of her expensive shampoo…

Turning from her greatly miss treated shampoo, she reached up through the curtain and grabbed her secret stash, concentrated lavender shampoo, it was mail order from Mexico, and it was 100 natural.

Sighing she took a hand full and began to wash her hair, the smell made the muscles in her shoulders unclench and soon she was completely relaxed. She finished with her hair, but let the sweet smelling bubbles remain on her head as she stood in the heat. A long sigh penetrated her body and she completely relaxed.

After a few minutes she rinsed it out, quickly used conditioner and left the stall, choosing the fluffy towel she dried off, deciding to let her hair air dry as it always curled when she didn't use a hair dryer and got changed.

She finished off with a bit of mascara and peach lip-gloss before walking out of the stall.

* * *

Mean while Jay had just come back with Jake after a quick flash to the cabin to pick up the rest of their stuff and had now found his way into Giles's room and was sitting on his dresser, pretending to be an annoying fly on the wall as he watched Giles read. 

"You're coming with us right?" He asked cocking an eyebrow, tired of the silence. "It is a party, a victory party. If I'm right, there should be cake." Jay continued. Giles looked up and frowned. "I'll go, I've been to the Bronze before." Giles stated, annoyed.

Jay cocked an eyebrow. "You gonna get changed then?" He asked. Giles sighed and glanced down quickly at his attire, the usual tan suit with a white top. "No, this should be fine." Giles commented.

Jay made a snorting noise. "You're going to a club, not a door to door encyclopedia sellers convention." He stated cocking an eyebrow. "And you're not sixty, forty one is not old enough to bring out the grandpa pants. Do you have jeans?" Jay added hopping off the desk and heading with conviction to Giles's closet.

Giles stood back and watched with a look of horror, as a steady stream of his pants came flying out of the closet and landed on the bed, it took a few seconds before he heard a triumphant "Ah ha!" and watched as a mahogany mop came out of his closet holding a pair of his blue jeans and wearing a large grin.

"Why do you insist on dressing me?" Giles asked walking through the chaos of his once organized room, shaking his head at all his pairs of pants lying on the floor in wrinkly heaps. "Well don't put it that way, it just annoys me to see a cool guy like you dressing like my grandpa." Jay commented going for his shirts now.

Giles died inside, attempting to keep some order, he started picking up the remnants of his once organized closet and began to sort them into piles, needs to be ironed and not. One pair made the not pile the rest were beyond saving.

Sighing Giles stood in the middle of the room as a rambling Jay held up tops over Giles's clothes to 'compare'.

* * *

Willow rushed around her room searching feverishly for one small item she had squirreled away a long time ago. Xander sat on the bed, a small smile playing across his lips as he watched his best friend rush around. 

On her fifth time looking in the same spot across from his she mumbled, "It's not funny Xander…" Before going to check her jewelry box one more time. This time she found it buried under a tangle of necklaces and she attempted to unknot everything before giving up and tugging it out, creating more knots as she did, but those would have to wait.

Turning she took the ring in her palm and walked over to her bed, where Xander was still situated, still grinning. "All that for this little thing?" He asked holding out his hand for Willow, who let out a sigh and passed him the little wooden ring. It was made of woven willow tree branches and it had a special spell cast on it. It had been Tara's, an heirloom of sorts, but Willow had inherited it after she had died. Which basically meant she never had used it.

"What's it do?" Xander asked. "You'll see later." Willow commented a small smile forming on her face. Xander followed her, handing her the ring, and they both descended the stairs.

Xander was still stalking Willow by the time she had entered the kitchen ready to go celebrate with their friends. Everyone was there, except for Jay and Giles, who were mysteriously M.I.A. Willow walked over to Jake, who was sitting alone on one of the chairs fiddling with the battery for Buffy's laptop, parts were strewn across the table and he had a screwdriver in one hand, proceeding to dig into the mass of brightly coloured wires. He had his big coat on again and his wings were all but covered, making his back look humped.

He looked up at her as she walked towards him, his blond hair falling out of his eyes as he did. Glancing at him nervously, she held out the ring. "I think Tara would have wanted you to have this. Thank you; for stopping me before I ran into the shield, you saved my life." Willow stated timidly. Jake stopped what he was doing and looked up at her with his hazel eyes. He didn't expect thanks for that, feeling the heat in his cheeks and hoping it didn't reach his face.

He didn't even know who Tara was; glancing up into the young woman's light green/blue eyes he saw a hidden emotion behind the discomfort. He nodded at her, not really knowing what to think yet, shifting nervously as he caught the glances of the rest of the people in the room.

She then held out her hand to him, and he glanced down and noticed a wooden ring. Now he could feel the blood as it rushed to his face. "Okay…" He managed to stammer as he looked down on it. Marriage flashed briefly across his brain, he heard wedding bells and he shook his head to clear the images away and looked back down on reality. Completely freaked out.

Willow rolled her eyes, "Just put it on. I hope it works for you." She added forgetting her shyness and handing him the ring. "This isn't the one ring is it? He's not going to put it on and become a giant red eye on a tower and eat midgets for breakfast right?" Connor asked from the corner, Willow glared and Dawn smacked him. Buffy and Xander chuckled in the corner, Anya was shaking her head at the midget reference and Spike remained quiet, Faith had walked out.

Jake held the ring in his hands like it was made sand. Oz walked over and grabbed it from his hand, he the slipped it on Jake's ring finger, a small smile quipped his lips as he mumbled "Marry me." And stepped back, half the room laughed louder, even Spike chuckled, but that died down quite quickly as they looked at him.

Jake looked down at himself, "What? I don't see anything different." Jake commented frowning. Faith walked back into her room and raised her eyebrows, "Better lean back." She commented. Jake frowned and did what he was told, almost falling off the chair as he did. Willow was grinning like mad now.

"What the hell?" He asked looking back to see nothing but the back of the chair, he stood up and stumbled back a little bit, looking up at Willow, panic filling his eyes. "Where'd they go?" He ran his hand down his back and felt nothing. Willow shrugged, "No where, take it off." She stated. Jake pulled off the ring and his wings came back perfectly fine.

A grin spread across his face as he slipped it back on. "This is amazing!" He exclaimed, taking Willow up in a hug. Willow grinned, caught off guard, but hugged back. As soon as the hug had started it was over. "Thank you!" He exclaimed. Glancing around at the grinning faces he then stepped towards the entrance of the kitchen and hollered "JAY! I need to borrow some clothes."

Willow heard a sigh, "Their too small Jake, you'll rip em if you don't cut holes in them." Came the reply. "Not anymore!" Jake exclaimed. Jay appeared at the entrance of the kitchen. Glancing at the grinning faces and then at Jake, an eyebrow quirked, "I missed something." He stated calmly. Giles fell in behind Jay and stared.

Xander snorted, "Yeah, Oz and Jake are officially engaged, and Willow is in there too, it's a happy threesome." He commented. Jay mock wiped a tear from his eye, "Without me?!" He wailed, leaning up against the doorway for support. He glanced at Oz, "I thought we had something!" He exclaimed, unable to act serious anymore and cracking a smile.

Oz just shook his head. Jay grabbed Buffy's hand, "Well at least I still have you baby." He laughed and took a bow. Spike glared. Jay walked over to Spike, "You know she loves me Spikey" Jay commented slapping him on the back. "Never call me that again…" Spike commented leaving the room.

"Aww C'mon! You vampires are always so strung up." Jay yelled back at him. Spike stopped, but not because of Jay's outburst, but because of Giles. The group turned their attention off of Jay who was finished anyways and onto Giles who was dressed in blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a black pleather jacket. Giles frowned, "What?" He asked.

Anya turned to Jay, "You killed Giles." She stated. "No, I just took the tweed out of the Englishman, a daring feat if I do say so myself." He stated. "H-how?" Buffy asked, having trouble absorbing what her eyes were giving her.

"I picked out his clothes." Jay stated easily. "And he went with it?" Xander asked. "I'm standing right here Xander…" Giles commented making the exasperated noise again. Willow, Xander and Buffy laughed and Giles stared.

The rest of the room shifted uncomfortable and Jake flashed out. "When are we going?" Faith asked, Jake flashed back wearing one of Jay's t-shirts. "Now I guess." Connor stated opening the door.

* * *

"Oz plays really kick-ass guitar." Jay said, taking another swig of his beer 

Buffy nodded, "We know."

All eyes were either on Oz or the brightly flashing colored spotlight beams. He looked up, his eyebrows shooting upwards as he finished hooking up the amps. "What?" he asked looking up at everyone.

They all dropped their eyes. Faith, however didn't, "How did you end up hanging with him?" She asked jabbing a thumb in Jay's direction, Jay tried to look horrified; Oz just shook his head. Jay decided to explain,

"Well I was having a down period in my life, I had hit rock bottom and I was working as a lap dancer at a seedy tavern next to the materia shop in the big city...  
one night in walks Oz, waves money at me and falls over drunk. So I take him home, patch him up, and when he asks who I am I just say that we had been friends all his life and he shouldn't drink so much to forget that." Jay finished waving a finger in Oz's direction.

Everyone watched as Oz looked up and a small smile spread across his face. "The good old days… " He commented, now going for the small pile of various guitars and taking that oh so familiar dark blue Gibson out of the case and hooking it up.

Jay grinned, "That would be my cue," he commented getting up and walking towards the stage, cheesily pulling a pair of drumsticks from his back pocket, flipping his hair back and hopping onto the small stage.

Dawn raised her eyebrows at Connor, "Lap dancer huh?"

**Told you it was short… but meh, the next one is longer and hey it's the last chapter, epilogue not withstanding so enjoy.**


	17. Chapter 17, Saying GoodBye

**I've made it! The last chapter and the return of the _Italics_! I never thought it would come but it has, even with my bout of flu like symptoms and lack of brain function. In true Joss style I brought people back from the dead and had Willow talk to Spike for no apparent reason. Now this is MY chapter.**

**I want to thank everyone who inspired me along the way, and everyone who violently critiqued me. I want to thank my UPSTACU for the comments and help. **

**IMPORTANT: Please PLEASE download the song!!! If you haven't downloaded the others PLEASE download this one and listen to it… I've become addicted to it and you need to hear it in order to really get it. NUTSHELL by ALICE IN CHAINS. **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own, -mumble mumble- yada yada yada… great Joss W. bla… I OWN Jay, Jake, Sasha, Chiyo and that pain in the ass Blade. **

**Note: check my profile as I will add more art and prolly the music links in another day or so. I have some Jake art just about ready to go…**

**Chapter 17: The Last Good-bye **

_"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not" Andre Gide_

Willow was left alone in the Summer's house, as the others nursed their hangovers from their night at the Bronze, she had opted to got to the other house to pack and prepare for the night ahead. Although she wished she hadn't, she wasn't sure she wanted to get out of bed.

Things all seemed to be going wrong that morning, she put her shirt on backwards, she burnt her toast, and she spilt her tea all over the countertop. She was jumpy, more jumpy then she had been in a long time. She couldn't help it. She had never really said goodbye. Just stayed numb, waiting for her Tara to come back, days had turned into weeks and those had turned into years. They had all seemed to melt into each other. Sure, she remained living and carried on. But in the back of her mind there had always been a glimmer of hope, that maybe one day, she would return to her.

Then she had gotten bitten, and her world had been turned around once again. Old scars had been scratched to the surface and once again and the wounds began to bleed. She had looked at Oz and somehow, through all the pain he had been through, found sanctuary in his arms, his eyes, in his smile. When he was with her, it was okay again, and no matter how much she thought otherwise, Tara had never existed.

But she had… she had, and Willow had never even said good-bye the right way. Never given her the wiccan ceremony that only she knew how to do. It was time, she couldn't move ahead with out going back, like so many things in life. Tara was dead, she knew that, she was so afraid to come to that conclusion, false hope still blinded her vision but she pushed that into the back of her mind. Tara was gone, and tonight she was going to have to face that.

It took all the strength she had not to go back to bed that morning. Somehow she managed to stick through it. Jay and Oz were coming tonight, to help her say goodbye, she had asked them to come, knowing full well that that she couldn't do it alone.

She needed them more than she needed the next breath of air. Not knowing what to do with herself, she busied herself cleaning the windows, then vacuuming, then washing the numerous amounts of dishes built up over three days.

When she had finished she was exhausted, but slightly pleased with her progress. Sitting down on the couch, she glanced over at the door, but mostly at the lone box that sat beside it. The one containing the white candles, the knotted cord and the rest of the things needed for the rest of the ceremony and shuddered, suddenly colder. She snapped her head back to the living room and the broken TV set, wishing the box wasn't there. Slowly she found herself falling asleep.

She jumped when she heard the knock on the door. Mostly because of the knock, but also because of the lack of sunlight that had just disappeared after what seemed like a minute ago. Now it was pitch dark and a perfect crescent moon had risen, beautiful and silver, like liquid.

Numbly she opened the door to face a stoic looking Oz and for once, a serious looking Jay. "Hey," Oz whispered. Jay stepped forward and gave her a hug. His body heat seemed to wash over her cold and jumpy body; the scent of wild cinnamon that always clung to him like a veil now fell across both of them. Willow took a deep breath in and absorbed the calm. Her tense body relaxed ever so slightly.

"Did you eat today?" Jay asked a worried line forming his mouth. Willow gave him a 'look.' Jay grinned, "I didn't think so." He pulled out a box of doughnuts. "Thought you should eat something before you did the mojo." He commented stepping back and handing her the box containing six jelly filled doughnuts.

Slowly a smile quirked on her face. " Thought doctors were into health food." Willow said grinning, her heart lightening for the first time that day. "I thought about that. I was going to get apple fritters, but, I thought an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and then I thought, why would you want to keep a face like _this_ away?" Jay commented, gesturing vigorously at his face.

Willow laughed. "Hmm… I don't _know._" Willow said rolling her eyes sarcastically. Jay smiled. Willow felt a soft warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up and got lost in soft, sea green eyes. "You ready?" Oz asked softly.

Tears threatened her fake calm, but she nodded and bit them back. She couldn't prolong this anymore, it had to be done… _she would have wanted it… _She grabbed Oz's hand and they walked out of the house, Jay came behind them and hefted the box with all her components. Willow bit her lip and turned back, "Forgot my other stuff." She commented, re-entered the house and grabbed her clothes and everything she needed to survive outside of Sunnydale.

Jay watched her and offered his help, but she had everything under control and nodded, they would be leaving town that same night. Willow had already said goodbye, it had been hard but she needed to go. She couldn't stay any longer.

She had been surprised at how everyone had taken the news. It had been like they had already sensed that she was planning on leaving. Even before she knew she was going they had known, back at the Bronze, she had been so apprehensive, she remembered having to leave the party…

_Jay's voice filled the room wired for sound, and he announced they would be playing some of his favourite tunes next. Willow couldn't stand sitting in the dark anymore and finished her drink before getting up to walk across the room and out the door leading to the roof. The songs started playing again._

_Jay glanced at her and raised his eyebrows questioningly in the middle of playing the drums, she shrugged and then he wiggled them. Sighing she mock fanned her face and pointed to the door, she then mouthed 'air' and he nodded and went back to playing. _

_Oz walked over to her, still playing and gave her a small smile before going back to playing also. Willow smiled, it felt good knowing that they cared about her as much as she cared for them. She could hear the rain hitting the door like little fingers tapping on it, beckoning to come in._

_She entered the door and got halfway up the stairs, the music carrying her up from behind before she smelt the familiar scent of cigarette smoke and aftershave, with a sigh she finished climbing the stairs and got hit by the light rain falling from the dark sky. _

_Reaching the top, she saw exactly what she had expected to see, Spike sitting on the ledge of the roof, stooped down under his leather duster, smoking. She sighed, wishing she could go back to being surprised at what was behind the door._

_Spike glanced up, and she could tell he already knew she was coming; he took another drag, "Did you want me to leave?" He asked raising a scarred eyebrow. Willow shook her head, somehow glad for the company. "You were here first." She commented taking a seat beside him. "And, I'm almost done…" He added showing off his spent smoke. _

_Willow rolled her eyes, "Cause I'm sure you're thrilled to be able to go back in there. Buffy's too full of drugs to kick you outside to smoke, besides Faith's in there smoking, you're out here cause you need to be." She commented a grin falling easily on her lips. Spike raised his eyebrows, she was right, but that wasn't new, she always seemed to pick up on his loner mentalities; although he wasn't completely sure how._

_"How is Buffy holding up anyways?" Willow asked feeling bad that she hadn't really talked to her best friend since coming to. "Good enough, day in the life of a slayer." Spike quoted with a sigh. _

_They stood in silence as the rain fell on them both quietly. The moon was just a light part buried under a thick blanket of clouds. Somehow Willow could relate with the bleach blond, and somehow, she always ended up alone with him during critical parts of each other's lives. Was it karma? She didn't really know, all she knew was that he had the strength to open up to her and that she should too. She just didn't really know how to start._

_"So, you know why I'm up here, but do you know why you're up here?" Spike asked deciding on lighting up another smoke. Willow frowned at the strange question. "What do you mean?" She asked turning towards the vampire. _

_"You've only just begun to figure out what the price of your immortality costs." Spike commented seriously. Willow frowned and half way through, realized she knew vaguely what he was talking about. She followed his gaze to the sky. "It all seems to be connected doesn't it?" She asked quietly. _

_Spike tore his gaze away from the sky and glanced at her. "That's because it is Red. It's not a coincidence that every curse I can think of that causes immortality is based even roughly on the moon." Spike commented. Looking back to the moon. Willow watched his expression, it was hard to read, but sorrow flashed just behind his usual vampire calm. _

_"I haven't been in the sunlight for one hundred and twenty years Red. My soul begs for it, but it's beyond my abilities. It's not just being a vampire, I'm truly scared love. I'm scared because I forgot the way it was before. Before I was cursed, before I was reborn into a creature of the night. That's not right on anyone." Spike slurred. He sighed and he carried on staring at the moon. _

_"But, you can go out in the sun, in the shadows." Willow commented pointedly. Spike flicked his wrist. "That's even worse. I'm so close but I can't make it one more step further. It mocks me to be outside, it's another example of our weakness." Spike commented silently, he took another drag of his cigarette, twisting his Zippo in his pale, black painted fingers._

_"Being a vampire is like living life with your eyes closed. It's so tempting to just throw the lids open and take a peek at the world you can barely remember, even though it's only been a little while, but you can't 'cause after a while your fears replace the curiosity. Memories turn into shadows of a doubt and those turn into impossible dreams." Spike stated quietly. _

_"I'm glad for you Red; at least you aren't confined to the darkness." Spike spoke, a hint of bitterness underlying the calm. Willow couldn't help the anger that flared up in her chest. She wasn't lucky. She would never be lucky. The rain kept falling._

_"You can't even stand being in the same room as the rest of them." Spike continued. "Now that you can see life from the other side. It doesn't feel the same as before, they seem more empty now, they seem less alive." Spike commented. _

_Willow nodded, hating that she was agreeing with him, but it was true. "Does, does that ever go away?" She asked in a pained voice, tearing her gaze from the moon. "It lessons, if that's what you mean, but the ego comes with the scar. Spike commented showing off faded bite marks on his neck._

_She hadn't even thought about the scar the bite would have left behind. It wasn't really bothersome. Now, she reached back to her shoulder and felt two healed over bumps where the teeth had punctured the skin. A shiver ran through her body, a sudden chill took her and she sighed._

_"We all have our demons Willow, ours are just more apparent. It isn't just us super naturals, but humans as well." Spike commented softer this time. They stood in silence for a moment as the rain came down on them both. _

_"You still love him don't you?" Spike asked raising an eyebrow. Willow frowned at the question. Finally she nodded, "Somehow, through all this I do. I-I just don't know if I can." She stated finally. Spike frowned, "Because he's a werewolf? Or because if you love him, you can't possibly still love Tara?" Spike asked. Even the name brought a chill to her body, especially coming from him._

_"I want to leave Spike. I want to go with them, but I don't know if I can let myself." Willow commented. "Oz is a good bloke, and as much as I hate to admit it, even that git Jay has some good qualities, you would be safe with them. Hell, it's probably good if you spend some time learning how to be a werewolf. It's not like Sunnydale is going anywhere love." Spike spoke genuinely; it was only one in a few times that she had heard that from him before._

_"But…" Willow bit her lip. "Listen love, you've been stuck in this town too long already, see the world, you have a new chance and if you don't take it you'll be miserable." Spike interjected. "What if something happens?" Willow asked looking down. "I do believe this is the twentieth century, there's thing called a telephone and internet, hell you have a blond with issues in there that can be anywhere in a blink of an eye, and you're still worried. Now you're making up excuses." Spike dismissed. "You have a chance to start fresh, don't blow it like I did." He added shaking a finger in her direction. _

_Willow sighed, she pulled herself up on the side of the ledge and sat down on the edge, facing the now lowering moon. Spike joined her. "I'm used to staying half way in the shadows Red, in the part just beyond where the darkness eats up all the light, just beyond the point of view. That's been my life for two hundred years; you'll always feel that your life could have never been what it was supposed to be. If you have someone to hold onto, who's not insane and knows what it's like. Someone you love, you deserve at least that Willow." Spike finished. _

_Willow sighed, "What am I going to tell everyone?" She asked after a while a frown creased her forehead. "What you told me, you gotta leave for a while but you'll be back." Spike stated. Willow sighed, "I guess so." She stated slowly, her heart still undecided. _

_"You aren't doing anything wrong Red. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you did nothing wrong and it's probably better that you spend some time out of the hellmouth, hell even Xander took that trip to go discover the States." Spike commented flicking the spare ash off his smoke._

_The rain kept falling. Willow nodded, he was right, she sighed again. It was going to be a long night. _

They drove in an uncomfortable silence as the van slid along the wet roads and quiet streets, the rain had ceased since the morning but nothing had dried out yet. Oz was driving and Jay was in the passengers seat, Willow sat in the back, trying to think of other things, wondering how Jake and Faith were getting along after the night before, wondering if she had changed anything, giving him the ring.

As they drove the familiar streets she watched as the world she had come to know as life washed past her eyes. Wondering if she would really miss it when she was gone. It seemed too small and cramped now; it was a feeling she couldn't even begin to explain. She wished there was something else she could have done to make herself feel better. Saying good-bye felt like something that came too quickly, like she needed another few years, like she was missing something. She just didn't feel strong enough; she guessed no one ever did.

_Willow watched as in between sets the band changed, Jake spoke a few quiet words to Oz, who nodded and walked over to the bar to grab an empty stool from the bar and brought it back. _

_Life just seemed so different now, no one was left the same from their pasts, no one was left unchanged one way or another. It wasn't just another high school dance anymore. They had just fought a war, they had just killed a bunch of people and they had been the ones left standing. Non at all were left the same as when they had come into this town, she just felt… trapped; she wanted to leave, but if she did, it would have been as good as giving up on all the good in the world. She felt like she was planning on abandoning her best friends for a different breed. The breed she had been turned into against her own will._

_Anger filled her chest and flashed in her eyes for a brief moment, and she knew she still had a lot to learn in that second. Glancing over at Xander, who was laughing on the dance floor at something Anya had said. She didn't know if she could leave him, or the Summer's sisters for that matter. She loved them, they were her true family, they had been devoted to their friendship since they first time they had all met each other, and everyone played an important part in the group._

_Looking down she examined her hands, even they seemed to have changed with the past moon phase, they were stronger, more slender, and… shared. There was nothing she could do about it, she was living in a new shell, sure it was no longer so foreign, but they were still new. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair for a moment and played with her hair a bit to take her mind off of it. _

_It was longer than she remembered it being, just a few weeks before. Sighing she glanced up at the stage again, Jake was sitting front and center this time, right in the middle, his feet propped up on the bottom of his stool and he glanced out into the spot light for a moment, like it hypnotized him. Dust floated on a draft coming from outside of the old club. It flew through the light on what looked like great gusts of breeze, but in reality it was barely anything on her skin. The wolf informed her that a light rain was falling outside._

_She glanced back up at the stage, Jay had taken out a feathery sort of brush and changed a few things around on the drum set, Oz had taken up another electric guitar, Jake had an acoustic guitar and it had a clip, situated on the C bar, secured tightly to the neck. Connor had gotten on stage to help, and now was holding Jake's bass, and was looking down on it with a look of pride mixed with fear, she guessed she had missed the warning speech about hurting Jake's equipment and the painful death that would follow as a consequence. _

_She watched as slowly Jake took off his shirt, displaying his slim, well toned body, secured his black 'paper boy cap' firmly over his long blond hair and placed his guitar gently on his knees, getting a comfortable position. Willow could smell his apprehension in the air, and her and Oz made eye contact. He gave her a small smile and nodded over to his friend. _

_Willow noticed for the first time that Jake's gaze had been glued to Faith's since he had begun. Willow glanced over to Faith, who was smiling, apparently pleased that Jake was up there and she nodded at him. Willow glanced up to Jake, like she was in a tennis match, and she saw him visibly swallow his pride, his right hand going to his left, he tugged off her ring. Willow grinned, happy he was ok with that, and she watched as he nervously dropped in onto the floor of the stage with a thunk that only people with super hearing could have heard._

_His wings appeared in a glimmer of magic, and he looked almost otherworldly to her. She watched as his apprehension suddenly disappeared, he had nothing else to bear to his audience. With the thought of the audience, Willow glanced around at the rest of her friends in the bar. Most of them were watching Jake others were talking, everything was made laid back enough for the blond on stage to feel comfortable. _

_Glancing back to the stage she watched as a small smile slid onto Jake's face and knew instantly who it was for, Faith, she wasn't sure what was up with that._

_Jake reached out for the microphone and spoke clearly, "Thought, we'd slow it down for a song, for everyone who's made a sacrifice to keep fighting for good, and in the process, keep getting up in the morning day after day. Life's tough for us in the know, and sometimes it doesn't seem like we're making a very big dent in everything, but we keep going, because we have too, our consciences won't allow anything less. So here's for fighting the good fight, and winning this one." He mumbled into the mic. _

_Cheers erupted from the small crowd and Jake waited for silence before he did something no one had expected him to do. He stretched out his long wings, cracks and pops sounded from his back, but Jake kept a straight face, strength hiding the strain it took from him, even though Willow caught a sharp intake of breath._

_A small blush formed on the man's pale cheeks, but he stayed quiet, reverence making him feel better, as he waited for Dawn to hit the lights. The spotlight focused on him, other than that there was complete darkness; the room was silent except for the sounds of soft midnight rain hitting the tin roof. He then started strumming lightly, the guitar filling the silent room with a sad, quiet song. One someone could have expected to be played on a modern soldier's mp3 player after a bad day. _

_Then Jay started on the drums, backed up with Connor on the bass, and Jake's tenor hit the air like it was being cut in half…_

_We… chase misprinted lies  
_

_We… face the path of time  
_

_And yet I fight  
_

_And yet I fight  
_

_This battle all alone_

_No one to cry to  
_

_No place to call home  
_

_Oz started with his electric guitar and Jay moved his microphone over to sing back-up which he started with right away.  
_

_Oooh…Oooh…  
_

_Oooh…Oooh…  
_

_Oz quieted his guitar slightly and Jay got comfortable with the drums again allowing Jake to take center stage again, both nodded at their friend and the cue came up for more singing, tenor hit the air again and Willow noticed she had been holding her breath.  
_

_My gift of self is raped  
_

_My privacy is raked  
_

_And yet I find  
_

_And yet I find  
_

_Repeating in my head  
_

_If I can't be my own  
_

_I'd feel better dead  
_

_Oz and Jay's voice pierced the air again, allowing Jake a break.  
_

_Oooh...Oooh...  
_

_Oooh...Oooh…_

_Jake finished off the song with the rest of the band in a solo each and then the music slowly died away. The entire room was silent until Xander started clapping applause followed soon after and Jake bent down, picked up his ring and slid it back on again before the lights could be turned back on. The magic of the moment disappeared with the light. He was just a regular man again; everyone put their masks back on._

_It was new and hard as she realized how much people hid behind the light, not daring to bear their souls to each other for fear of judgment._

Willow barely felt the van stop as they parked in the cemetery. The still wet grass sparkled in the moonlight. Jay was the first one out of the car; he was still holding the box firmly. It was a warm night, and the cemetery was blanketed in a slight mist, other than that, all was quiet.

Willow wasn't counting on running into anything that night. Even though this was Sunnydale, they had probably taken out most of the vampire population that one night of fighting. She walked out onto the grass, leaving her shoes behind and opting for bare feet. The night was calm, and the silence that fell over the graveyard was slightly calming to her, she felt Jay and Oz on either side of her and a small smile etched across her face.

No matter how much she wanted to think otherwise she knew at that point that she needed them there. A soft breeze lifted her hair off her back as she walked, and suddenly it felt too quiet. Too perfect in the cemetery where she had seen so much pain, and so many things go horribly wrong.

A chill went through her body and she took a shuddering sigh. Oz reached for her hand and she readily accepted it, their fingers intertwined and Jay glanced at her and offered her a small smile. It was un-naturally quiet, she was used to hearing Xander's heavy steps behind her, and Buffy's heels hit rocks as they patrolled.

Now she was with werewolves, everything about the way they moved was un-natural, they walked with the grace of a dancer and the silence of a predator. Nothing about them seemed human in that moment, nothing about her, seemed human in that moment, hell she was not only _with_ werewolves she _was_ a werewolf.

Somehow it was oddly surreal, in that moment she accepted what she was, embraced her new life with more brilliance than she thought she possessed. She felt her eyes flash; she felt her toes dig ever so slightly into the grass, breaking the surface and reaching into the wet, blessed soil beneath it.

She walked, as if she was in a trance, she heard the slight scrape of fabric and she knew Oz had turned to look at her. _He still didn't know what happened when he was fighting Blade…_ She thought biting her lip. She guessed he had some idea; he was a smart person, smarter than most people gave him credit for. She of all people knew that.

She walked, past a large willow tree, it's long branches hung just below a small pond and brushed against her body, the only sound came from the small fountain in the center of the pond, that burbled quietly, like it was tired of years of running on end. Wind whispered through the limbs of the tree, it tickled past the silent threesome and back to it's home in the north. Moonlight made everything seem more still, and it penetrated the mist just enough so that they could see the ground.

Even the night birds quieted as the werewolve's presence penetrated further into the hallowed ground. Finally her feet stopped before her brain could translate where she was. Slowly she glanced down past the granite inlay to the words inscribed on the stone. _Tara McKay… her girl…_ Tears threatened her calm but she forced herself to stare down at the words… there she stood for a full two minutes, just reading her name.

When she was sure she could stand it, she moved her gaze lower, to the dried flowers she had left the last time she had come, the yellow of the flowers had long faded from the brilliance they had been the last time she had seen them, having survived the winter, without another visit, the once pure white ribbon was now speckled with dirt, and brown.

She couldn't believe how long it had been since she had visited her girl, the day before, it had felt like just yesterday that she had died, and now she realized the vast amount of time that had passed since that day.

Tears prickled her nose and threatened to fall down her cheeks, but they didn't have time to fall as, Jay putting the box on the grass roused her from her memories, the sound echoed off the trees and the stones, she reeled back panic filled her eyes. Jay backed off immediately, "Sorry…" He mumbled dropping eye contact like he expected her to lash out. Instead she felt her knees hitting the wet grass, a sob escaping her chest.

"Oh Willow…" Jay sighed placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry…" He stated quietly. He glanced at Oz who ran a hand through his still blue hair. Willow grabbed Jay's hand and Oz took the other one and she cried.

She cried for longer than she had ever cried in her life, she cried until her chest hurt and she hiccupped. Both men didn't say a word, neither left her side either, they stayed with her until she was finished, and when she was finished she just sat, staring at the ground beneath her wishing to be anywhere else. Wishing to be strong again.

She wiped away her own tears and took the tissue Jay offered her, finally she stood, letting out a deep sigh and walked to the box. She began making a circle of salt once again, having memorized the steps of the spell, with good intentions long ago.

The men stepped back, knowing better than to disrupt her. Jay watched her intrigued, but Oz watched with knowing eyes, wondering what she was thinking as she went through the steps and admiring her courage as he watched her steady hands, placing representation of each element on each side of her circle, earth, air, fire and water.

"_Xander, I need to leave." Willow stated quietly in the back of the Bronze. She forced herself to look up into his familiar root beer coloured eyes. Surprisingly they didn't seem surprised, instead they were soft. "How long?" He asked quietly. _

_Willow shook her head, "I don't know." She stated looking down again. She felt his arm wrap around her shoulders. "You need this Will, go with them and remember to call." Xander commented a small smile forming on his lips. "You never had the 'discover America' trip, you're due for a vacation." He added._

_Willow smiled. "You think?" She asked. "I know Willow, do what you gotta do, but don't be a stranger ya hear?" Xander drawled. Willow laughed at his bad accent. "Every second day." She promised. "And Holidays?" Xander asked. Willow grinned, "And holidays." She agreed. "Christmas?" Xander asked. "That counts as a holiday." Willow stated frowning. "Charlie Brown?" Xander was pouting now. _

_"I wouldn't miss it." Willow reassured as Xander gave her a preview of this year's Snoopy dance. Willow laughed. "I promise." She managed as most of the people in the club had turned around and were now watching him. Jay even turned around and exclaimed, "Hey! The Snoopy dance!" and began trying to copy the moves, if it was possible he was even worse than Xander._

_Everyone sat down after that and caught their breath after all the laughing ceased. "So when are you leaving?" Xander asked after a while. Willow sighed, "Tomorrow. We're going to go visit Tara and then head out." Xander raised his eyebrows. "Whoa, that's fast." He commented. Willow nodded, "I don't think I can give myself very much time in between." She confessed. _

_Xander nodded, "I understand." He commented. Willow nodded, hoping he really did, "C-can you tell the others… I don't think I can do this again." Willow asked a blush falling across her face. Xander nodded and enveloped her into a hug. "You got it." He whispered in her ear. _

Willow stood from the center of the circle, having placed a bouquet of white and red roses in front of the stone, and wiped stray tears out of her eyes. She was finished. It was finished. The guilt was gone, but the pain still stayed fresh in her heart. She stood motionless for a long time, just waiting for something to change, something to acknowledge that what she did had made a difference in something. Nothing came. She knew that was how the spell was supposed to work, but it didn't make the hurt any better.

She was proud she did the spell; she just wished it had done something more exciting than what it did. Glancing up at the sky she spotted the moon behind the clouds above. She was ready to leave; she just wanted to do one thing first. Leaving the boys behind she walked over to the nearest crypt and slid out of her clothes. She then got on all fours and beckoned the wolf to come out. It obliged happily and she began the change.

It didn't take her long and when she was finished she watched through the wolf's eyes, she came out from behind the crypt and walked over to her boys, who were still in human form and grunted. She smiled inwardly when Oz didn't look surprised and Jay cocked an eyebrow at his friend who cheesily rolled his eyes.

Willow sat in front of them both and grinned the best she could before both guys who automatically got moving found their own crypt to change behind. Soon both a sandy coloured wolf and a chocolate coloured wolf emerged from behind the crypts, both of which carrying a bundle of clothing. The sandy one went for hers as well and they both dropped the clothes in the box they had taken with them.

The Willow wolf stood to meet them and they both sat on either side of her, the sandy one on the right and the chocolate one on the left. Oz snorted at her and she sat down, he licked her muzzle once and she glanced over at the stone they sat in front of. Slowly a feeling crept up from the bottom of her stomach, an urge so strong she tried to hold it back but eventually embraced it completely. She brought her head up to stare at the lonely moon and her voice escaped her as she let out a low mournful howl.

Another howl answered on either side of her, but both haunting melodies died away a long time before hers did. All her emotion poured out of her soul and filled the air with a long solid note, one of a grieving widow and a best friend.

She wished for death in that moment. She wished she could follow her girl into the ground and leave all the pain on the earth. She wished she had never met her, or seen her beautiful eyes and her enchanting smile and everything about her that had been so perfect and pure. Now she was left, here, all alone in the space between birth and death and it felt as if her heart flew through her voice; as she cried to the heavens for death embrace this sister of the earth, but no such relief came.

Nothing came, she was one with herself but now both pieces grieved for her lost mate. Finally she brought her snout down to the ground, having run out of breath, she placed it so low that it was touching the wet grass and there she stayed watching the grass with watering eyes and smelling the earth with a dry nose. She felt sick and alone; until she felt two different muzzles hit her ears at once, and snuffle, tickling the inside.

Maybe she wasn't truly alone; she glanced up at the two males floating above her just slightly and willed her body to move, getting up she walked past the stone that represented so much to her and kept going, she was finished and she was leaving this place for now, she had to move on.

* * *

Once they had finished changing back, all three friends got into the van and drove out of the parking lot. All of them were silent, all of them had something to think about as they drove out of town for the second time in three days, as the dashboard clock hit midnight and the speedometer hit 80. 

They didn't speak a word until they left the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign behind them. Jay glanced around the small cab and a sigh left him. "So where are we going?" He asked finally. Oz looked up at him and searched his face, "Miami." He answered finally. Jay's heart lightened slightly, "Home sweet home." He commented with a wry smile.

Willow smiled too, feeling better she was now out of town, Oz stuck a disk into the ratty player and music flowed through the speakers of the van. A peace fell over her and she laid back slightly on her pack, content to just sit. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders as she did, like a burden was gone, like the guilt was gone. It slowly sunk in that the guilt was gone, she was finished now and just the thought made her heart soar as she watched the scenery fly past the window…

* * *

Oz stood on the beach he had almost lived on with Sasha, alone for the first time since making it back to Miami, his feet resting in the warm wet sand. The rest of the day had been eaten up going through his old apartment and picking out things to keep, Willow, Jay and himself, had looked through every piece of art that Sasha had ever created and finally, instead of choosing which ones to keep, they decided to keep them all. Every bit of canvas in the apartment now filled Oz's van to the point of just being shy of packed full. There was barely enough space to fit the three of them in there at the same time. 

It felt good, having everything sorted and taken care of. They had told stories of the good times that they had had with Sasha while packing up and it had made him feel comfortable coming to the beach now.

Willow was almost a different person, she was so much happier now than she had been back on her last night in Sunnydale, she had even begun designing a website for werewolves so that they could stay in contact and help the newly turned. The three of them had decided that they needed a place where the newly turned could go for help.

They were even thinking about starting a school or something where they could go, once they got the funds for it. Not all the C.W's had died, a lot were still out there and after realizing what was really going on in the C.W's had contacted them to offer their help. Others were still out there that wanted revenge, and they dealt them as they came up.

Right now they were just content to travel, they were leaving the next day, where he wasn't sure, but that was why it was fun. Another adventure. The setting sun bathed him in warm pink light and the cloudless sky gave him a vast spectrum of colours, layer upon layer each one with a separate colour adding to the full view.

Small sailboats drifted lazily across the sparkling ebony waves, reflecting off the pink and gold sky. Seagulls flew above his head and headed towards the main beach and dinner, they called to each other above his head as he walked into the waves.

The smell of the ocean spilled into his body, his heart soared and finally he felt at peace again. He was home. The beach had always been his home, kept his fondest memories and secrets. The inviting scent enveloped his lungs in the salty air. _Freedom_, it spoke to him.

He heard the sliding van door shut behind him on the empty street and turned to see his two best friends walking towards him, armed with half of Jay's drum kit, a guitar case and an amp. Willow also held a microphone and one end of a heavy-duty extension chord. Tonight was his night to say goodbye.

They set up quickly and Oz got on a guitar, the sun was almost down now, dipping behind the waves, the colour of saffron. There he strummed the familiar chords in rapid succession, weaving his pick through the six strings to create something new. The sound penetrated past the waves and was eaten up by the breeze, taken to new lands and far off places. The sound contented him to the core, and seemed to penetrate his soul, which was the only way he would have it. Willow sat in the sand and watched a smile spreading across her face as she bathed in the warm light.

The war seemed so far away as she watched the boys set up. There was no place she would rather be than right there. Away from everything she had ever known to be normal, a veil of peace surrounded her in that moment and she knew somehow that everything would work out.

Oz walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, situating himself behind her so that she could lean back on him. "I love you…" He whispered into her hair. She sighed, content, and grabbed his hand, twisting herself just so, allowing for his lips to collide with hers as the sun disappeared below the horizon.

End.

**Don't be sad, there will be an epilogue, with Oz and Willow and some 14A rated stuff… not sure when that will come but it will. Hopefully it was good enough, I did some funky integration stuff that I'm still not sure about, but meh.**

**Now I shall have a vote-ie thing going where I want to know if you want a sequel, a prequel, or a novel-ie thing featuring Jake. It won't come for a while, so be sure to watch me, as I want to finish up some old poo I have stinking up the place. **

**Also: Someone brought it to my attention that they want to use my characters or storyboard to base their own fic off of, or do some fan art. That's fine as long as you let me know what you are doing, give me some fic props AND SHOW ME! Heh… you could even make Jay gay if you wanted… I dun care. See you in the epilogue! ((which again isn't coming for a while))**

**PEACE:**

**W-B-D**


	18. Epilogue

**!!!!!!!!!!THIS CHAPTER IS N17!!!! WAARRRRNNNIINNGG!!!!!!!!**

**A hoy hoy… I told you guys it would take a while, but it's here and I'm completely stoked, 'cause it, indeed, is my first lemon. If you are going to turn me in to the police, or are going to be disgusted by a little sex… then please do me a favor and don't read this chapter… If you are mad you can't read the epilogue, please review and let me know, because I have a part two, which everyone can read ('Cause I'm just that nice).**

**-DISCLAIMED-**

**PEOPLE I KNOW: If you read this and somehow decide my parents should know… I will kill you, or never talk to you again. So if you think you will feel the need to let them know… skip this chapter. I'm not kidding. **

**Art updates: I've done another 2 arts for Lunar Phases, one is a pretty accurate sketch of Sasha, and the other one is a painting of Jay. Please check them out, by taking the links on the bottom of my profile. **

**Epilogue Part One (Maybe)**

Willow sat on the window seat in the familiar cabin. A light snow was falling outside the window and onto the soft green forest floor below. Dancing in the icy breeze, they collided with each other on the way down, soft, like feathers in a torrent of madness.

Everything was silent and perfect, the cold outside never penetrating the warmth in her heart. She tore her gaze from the pure white outside and glanced around the cozy room, a fire was burning in the hearth, just like the night she had been introduced to this wilderness.

A Christmas tree donned the corner already slightly decorated, and already there seemed to be little room for more presents under it. She felt sorry for the tree as she thought about all the packages that would fill all the excess space underneath by the time the Scooby's, Faith and Jake arrived.

She had a pen balanced between her fingers poised to write in her journal. A leather bound she had decided to keep since she had been changed. It had seemed like an eternity since that had happened, when in fact it had only been six months. A contented sigh escaped her lips as she turned back to the window, ignoring her journal now, there would be plenty of time to write in it later.

She heard the boys approaching the cabin from the forested side; they had decided to go for a run out in the snow before the company arrived. She had opted to stay in and man the phone, to make sure her friends hadn't gotten lost. She was so excited to see them again.

She heard the door bang open and laughter fill the house. "You should have come Will, we ended up at the highway, and Oz decided it would be a good idea to scare the shit out of a jogger…" Jay's happy voice filled the small cabin. "He was asking for it… here doggie, nice doggie? C'mon Jay…" Oz's voice argued as he walked into the room, his eyes shining, he ran a hand through his dark blond hair.

Willow felt her lips automatically tug into a smile. Jay came into view now; he had a huge grin on his face as he smacked Oz on the shoulder with one of his big hands, and threw his scarf on the hook beside the fireplace. "Damn it's quiet in here." He commented giving her a weird look.

"You mean it _was_ quiet in here." Willow stated getting up to fix his collar. "Yeah Jay, you disturber of the peace…" Oz commented hanging up his own wet stuff and coming over to sit with her, he wrapped a cold arm around her shoulders and she sat back, "Cold!" She exclaimed, he gave her a mischievous smile; and then he brought up both his hands and placed them on her face.

She squealed, "That's freezing" She exclaimed getting up and walking over to the fire. Jay laughed and sent Oz a wink, "Go take a shower man… Obviously she doesn't like what you're offering." He commented with a snort before heading into the kitchen.

Oz sent him a half smile. "That actually doesn't sound half bad. I'm gone; make sure Jay doesn't clean out the kitchen before everyone gets here." He added to her as an after thought. Willow smiled knowingly, he hadn't kissed her like usual when he had come in. "No promises." She commented glancing over at the kitchen.

"I heard that!" Jay called from the kitchen. Willow laughed and Oz smiled before grabbing a towel and entering the bathroom. Jay walked into the living room again and situated himself cross-legged, on the floor, in front of the Christmas tree. He had a carrot secured tightly in his mouth and was now examining the gifts underneath the tree, a frown secured on his face.

"None of these are for me." He commented looking up at Willow and nibbling thoughtfully on the carrot. Willow grinned "It's only Christmas Eve Jay, Santa hasn't come yet…" Willow stated shaking her finger at him. Jay sighed, "He came for you…" He stated mischievously holding up a package and shaking it lightly. Willow cocked an eyebrow.

Jay held up the tag, "To Willow, Love Oz… hmm" He read a sly grin spreading even wider on his already grinning face. Willow got up and the phone rang, distracting her momentarily. Jay got up and went to go find it.

Willow stared at the small box on the floor, wrapped in shiny foil and tied with a red bow. A small smile quirked her lips, she wished she could have seen the look on the old Willow's face after reading that. Jay walked into the room a smile playing across his face.

He mouthed "Xander." And sent her a wink. Willow listened hard and could hear Xander talking feverishly on the other end.

"You never told me it was snowing!" Xander exclaimed.

"You can deal, it's just a little bit, and with that new 4X4 you should do fine. It's not like you never driven in snow before right?"

The other end of the phone was silent.

"Jay… I live in California, I've seen snow twice." Xander stated.

"Well you _are_ sitting with almost a small army, find someone who has." Jay suggested, a small smile playing on his good humored face.

Both werewolves audibly heard Xander sigh on the other side of the phone. "Just stop annoying me for a second, there's a big hill…" Xander mumbled.

Jay sent a wink towards Willow, who grinned at her best friend's nerves. "You can go back to doing what you want now, I don't think this phone call will be too much more entertaining…" Jay stated waving his hand and taking a cautious glance towards the kitchen.

"Oh, you mean making sure you don't eat anything before everyone gets here." Willow mocked, putting her hands on her hips.

Jay slapped his head with his hand. "Wrong thing to say with the food police hovering around like this." he commented grimly, before walking over to the couch and assuming the lounge position, with one long leg draped over the side of the ratty old sofa, one hand still clutching the phone to his ear. He reached the other still deeply tanned arm over his head and up to the shelf where a book of C.Ds was sitting, before pulling it down.

"Jay…?" Xander's voice came from over the phone.

Ignoring the voice, Jay began flipping through the disks, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Jay?" Xander's voice repeated. Jay's smile grew as he noisily flipped pages, taking his time on each page to contemplate choices.

Finally he chose one and popped it into the sound system hooked up to the small cabin. Willow watched from her seat by the window, a peaceful smile playing across her features, even though her thoughts were on other things. She wanted her kiss.

"Jay what are you doing?" Xander's tired voice asked over the old phone. Jay pushed 'play' and Priestess blared over the surrounding speakers.

"Not annoying you." Jay stated lying back and tapping the drum beats of the music on the sides of the couch.

Willow snapped out of her deep thoughts as soon as the music had begun. Her peace now so utterly disturbed it should have been institutionalized.

"Well, get Giles to drive or something." Jay was suggesting over the phone. Willow snorted at the suggestion and Jay waved her off.

Sighing, she went back to staring blankly at her journal, trying to dismiss the naughty thoughts forming in the back of her head, finally she gave in; a cocky smile blessing her soft features, as she thought about everything they had been through, and then about Oz. Her Oz, the Oz that had made a sudden comeback to the Oz she remembered back in high school, walking in the door and giving her a soft, but meaningful smile.

There was just something she shared with him, that she couldn't ever think about living without, and it made her love him more than she did before. The smile grew as she thought of her nerves when he had first returned.

With a mischievous grin, she listened to Oz turn on the shower and she got up slowly and went to her room. Jay watched her leave but was still giving Xander directions.

* * *

Oz sighed, running a hand through his now sopping wet hair, the cold that had numbed his joints minutes before, dissipated with every searing drop of hot water.

His body was still sore form the transformation and his eyes were still throbbing, regardless, he couldn't stop smiling or squelch the happiness that had risen in his chest. He hadn't been this content for almost as long as he could remember.

He was having a great time traveling around with his friends and he was helping other people, other werewolves, which had been like he had when he was first changed. Everything seemed so karmatically right, he couldn't think of one thing he would change about this moment, and that was so rare for him that it made him feel pretty damned contented.

He openly smiled to the darkness of the rest of the room. Not only was he contented, he was getting presents too. He stood in the scalding spray enjoying the feeling of calm that had made up residence in his head.

Hot water fell down his back and eased the tension in his muscles, his eyelids began to feel heavy and began to droop, he allowed them to continue, enjoying the water too much to care if he was in the shower a little too long. A contented sigh escaped his lips.

He allowed his senses to become completely in tune with the house, until he could hear every creak, he could hear Jay talking on the phone, and there were footsteps coming down the hall. He followed them closely until they were right outside of the door and that's where they stopped. Oz snapped his eyes open, that someone then used the door knob, and entered the bathroom, a frown formed on his lips, until he was hit with the scent of rosewater, strawberries and fresh snow. The scent that he had memorized since he was first changed.

Willow flicked off the lights in the bathroom on her way in, and lighted a couple candles. Oz watched through the tinted glass of the shower stall, for the briefest moments she saw his eyes flash a bright green, and a smile playing off her lips that mirrored his own. That smile got bigger as he heard the window open in the back of the bathroom, and soon smelt the pure cold air flow into the tiny room.

Nothing however, could match the grin that graced his normally stoic features when he heard the zipper on her jeans go down, and the pants then hitting the floor, following the rest of her clothes, and then he watched the silhouette of her bra being sling shot across the room.

He then watched as a creamy white hand reached over the sliding door and pulled it open. Willow wore nothing but a mischievous smile as she looked up at him. He cocked an eyebrow and offered her his hand, which she took as she entered the stall. Her pale, milky body glowed gold to match her hair in the candle light. His eyes feasted on the sight in front of him, like he had never seen anyone else before.

He gently lifted her arms up and pulled her under the heat of the shower, maneuvering her just so, and she sighed a contented sigh, her touch sent shockwaves through his entire body.

"Hey…" He whispered into her ear, wary that there were guests on the way. "Hey." She whispered back, she ran both hands down his chest, leaving the sites of her touch on fire, even as her hands retracted off of his bare skin. She ran a finger down one of his scars and he felt his entire body shudder. He wrapped his hands around her neck and began kissing her shoulders, his hands coming up and cupping her perfect breasts, his fingers working circles around the already peaked red skin. Her leg wrapped around his and he felt electricity run though his spine.

He continued to kiss her neck and shoulders, running light fingers over her beautifully shaped abdomen, and she let out a shuddering sigh of utter content and pleasure, right in his ear, goosebumps formed on his neck and the hot breath tickled his ear. "You're so beautiful Will, I don't know if I can…" He started.

Slowly, her lips found his and they connected lightly at first, before she deepened the kiss, his tongue beckoned the barrier be broken, and she opened up eagerly. She tasted like cinnamon and chocolate, and it warmed him to the core.

Her fingers racked down his back in pleasure as the kiss was deepened, her smooth leg twined against his and she pilled away from him, her teeth still firmly attached to his bottom lip, before letting go playfully. One of her hands interlaced with his, and she stood back to stare at him. "Oh… You can…" She assured, a small smirk appearing on her beautiful peach coloured lips.

Both searched each other's eyes, sea green hit hazel and reflected mutual love and the deepest respect for one another. He found all that he needed to continue and she closed the gap between them once more. His lips worked their way to her neck and then to her ear where he nibbled for a moment, she let out a tiny giggle as his tongue played with her ear lobe.

"I missed you." She stated, running a hand down his side and over his stomach. Oz smiled, "Pleasurably noted." He stated returning the gesture, the shower aided to the bitter cold of the window; it hit his back and warmed the goosebumps that had formed on his bare skin.

The steam from the warm air hitting the icy air enveloped the two lovers, and Oz ran his hands through her sopping wet bangs. Her milky, soft hands slid over his stomach and down towards his thighs, leaving electricity and goosebumps behind. Oz took in a deep breath as she went past it for a moment and ran her fingers softly down the insides of his thighs, lingering there a moment, before she slid them back up again and grabbed hold of it and squeezed gently. Oz's breath hitched, his eyes fluttered ever so slightly, and an evil grin grew on her angelic face.

"Feeling a little warmer?" She asked running one of those gorgeous milky fingers down it, he shuddered. "Oh… a little bit." He stated, keeping his eyes closed, a small smile had formed on his lips, water ran down his forehead and down his lips.

He grabbed her suddenly and twisted her into the spray. "Your turn." He growled, his eyes dancing and his lips playing on a smile. Willow leaned into the hot water, soaking in the heat.

His knuckles rubbed circles down her shoulders, all the way down to the small of her back, twisting his head just so, and connecting his lips with hers once again. He got to her thighs with the ease of a pro, which was quicker than she could keep track of whist being occupied, but he had continued at the same rate. His lips had disconnected with her own; and instead were down at the small of her back.

All of her muscles unclenched easily as she allowed the massage to perform it's magic… soon she was leaning into those magic hands. He made his way all the way down to the bottoms of her calves, his lips now playing with the inside of one of her knees, before coming back up on the insides of her thighs, and stood up slowly.

Discretely he raised one hand up to her face and pulled her into another deep kiss, the second one however, stayed down further south, as he slipped two fingers into her. All her muscles immediately jumped back into action and clenched back up. She pulled out of the kiss, her eyes flashing in surprise and pleasure, he stroked her softly and she pulled her head back and moaned, her hips automatically moving towards his touch. He teased it with his fingers a little bit and then, as quickly as his fingers had entered, they were gone.

She immediately raised her head back up and stared at him, disappointment dotting her features for a second, before it turned into a pout. Oz chuckled, a dog-like grin graced his features in the dimly lit room. "That was the preview, if you want the real show you need to kiss here." He stated pointing at his cheek. He brought his other hand up and licked his fingers, a crooked smile playing on his features.

Willow snorted, "Asshole." She stated, her eyes flashing, but obediently she walked through the spray and kissed his cheek, her fingers working their way around his belly button. "Such language…" Oz teased. He bent his knees ever so slightly and caressed one of her breasts, leaving a soft kiss on each nipple.

She placed both hands on either side of his chest and pushed him against the side of the shower stall, he complied fully with her request until he was pinned between the wall and his mate.

His body tensed up to the rising anticipation until the ache became too much, he ran a hand down her cunt and ran soft fingers across it, and felt her shudder beneath him in mirrored anticipation. His hips raised to meet hers, not able to stand it any longer and he pushed into her. She rolled her hips slightly, running her soft fingers down his legs and back. He moaned unconsciously, his head bending backwards, and his arms shuddered. Her own legs were shaking, water fell off them both, mixing with their sweet sweat. His breath hitched once again, and he felt like he had been tossed off a cliff, his head spun.

Using a sudden burst of energy, he flipped her over, so now she was pinned. A grin graced her beautiful peach coloured lips and he found her pleasure spot, his hips working over time, rendering her knees useless as they buckled in pleasure. Both of them gasped this time their breath coming in short hitches. He caught her before she fell, and slowly lowered her down to the bottom of the tub.

He went down on her harder now, thrusting into her now swollen skin, passionately. Her nails ran down his back and he moaned, this time her hips moved higher, and each pair of swollen, parched, lips met its mate and they kissed.

The lighting got brighter as the snow outside fell harder, the soft breeze from the window made the candles flicker. Both pairs of eyes glowed their respective colours as finally the orgasm subsided. They both let out a sigh of utter content as they lounged, bodies entwined, under the hot spray, for a long time, each listening to each other's strong heart beats with a mixture of pleasure and relief,

"That was it." Oz whispered huskily into her sopping hair, he rested his head on hers.

Willow frowned, "That was what?" She asked softly. "The _dream_…" Oz answered, running a hand through her hair, before pulling back and running a hand down her neck and to her shoulder softly. Willow chuckled softly before pulling him in front of her to look into his eyes and give him a confused frown. "E-flat diminished ninth." Oz elaborated finally, he planted a kiss on the top of her sopping head before pulling it down so that he had reasonable kissing angle, before kissing her full on.

Willow leaned into it, allowing his lips to massage hers, and then stopped for a moment, raising her head slightly. "Didja hear that?" she asked, a frown forming on her beautiful face. Oz shook his head and they both listened harder. Jay was walking down the hall, he was still on the phone as far as they could tell, that, or he was talking to himself.

"Yes, no, I'm looking. She's not in her room. --- haha funny Xander, really." Jay was saying. "No, she's not in the bathroom, Oz is taking a shower," There was a short knock on the door. "Oz, man!" Jay called from behind the door. A smile played across Oz's face as he watched Willow frown.

"Ya?" Oz answered quickly. Willow clambered up in a bit of a panic, trying not to make a sound; her cheeks reddened slightly. "Have you seen Willow?" Jay asked. Oz glanced over to where Willow was standing incased and silhouetted in the golden candle light and blue glow from the snow, she paled slightly. His sparkling eyes lingering on her beautiful form. "Yes," Oz answered. Willow ran a finger across her neck in a 'cutting' motion. "Sometimes…" He finished, a small grin now forming on his lips. Willow glared at him. Jay was silent for a moment, they could faintly hear Xander saying something on the other line.

"Oz…" Came Jay's voice again. "What's that smell?" He asked. Both mates were silent, although Willow had almost never seen Oz grin this big. The house was silent for another couple of seconds before Jay's voice came once more.

"Willow?" He called from behind the door, confusion still evident in his voice. Willow rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "Yes Jay?" She asked in a tired voice. "Oh shit!" Jay exclaimed. Oz chuckled now, Willow feigned kicking him, ignoring the constant ramblings of "Shit shit shit shit," From Jay on the other side of the door.

And then suddenly the 'shits' stopped. Willow could almost see a grin spreading on Jay's face. "Oh Xander… it seems I've just walked into something quite interesting… got to go." Jay stated business-like, and both lovers heard the electronic beep of the phone hanging up.

Before Willow could say something she might have regretted in the long run, there was a loud pop that came from the living room, a telltale sign that Jake had just arrived. "Saved by the blonde." Oz mumbled a smirk taking up residence on his face, as he stood now too and planted a kiss on the back of her shoulder blade.

* * *

"Hey!" Jake called through the seemingly empty house. Faith ducked out of his arm, it had been draped over her shoulders lazily. "You hit the wrong house baby. Losin your touch?" She asked glancing around.

"You do realize this is my cabin right? It's kind of hard to fuck that one up. Besides, Jay's cooking." Jake stated coming over and squeezing her thigh as he walked past. Faith rolled her eyes, and smelt the food too. "Damn that smells good." She exclaimed, heading towards the kitchen.

A mahogany bush of hair popped out of the hallway "Hey," Jay stated walking into the room. "If the cook isn't even allowed to sample the product before-hand; you defiantly aren't." Jay stated easily. "Happy Christmas Eve by the way." Jay added, a grin falling easily on his face.

"We don't celebrate Eves." Faith stated easily, she made herself at home on a couch and flicked on the TV. "Unless you got beer." She added. Jay grinned, "That I do!" He exclaimed, he cocked an eyebrow at Jake who nodded, and Jay went to go fetch some bottles.

"You never told me it was snowing man." Jake called into the kitchen. "I thought it would be a nice surprise." Jay grinned, coming back into the room holding three beers and handing them out. "Oh, it was a surprise." Jake stated motioning to his t-shirt.

Jay laughed. "C'mon man, it's artistic ambience, it's… Christmassy; you know, Bing Crosby style, I'm dreamin, of a white Christma-" Jay was cut off by Jake clamping a hand over his mouth, a begruntled look secured on his face, accented only by anger. Jay glared and Jake glared back, "Too much ambience." Jake stated stepping back.

"But Mr. Scrooge! It's Christmas Eve!" Jay wailed dramatically. "I don't care if it's D-day and you're landing on the beaches of Normandy, already informed that there's a surprise attack of German soldiers awaiting you on shore, and you're singing that damned song to keep your nerves down. No one should have to be subjected to _that_." Jake stated crossing his arms.

Jay sighed and twisted open his bottle, "You paint a cold cold picture my friend." He commented shaking his head. Faith snorted, "That's just the way he likes it too." She commented. Jay cocked an eyebrow, "_Really?_" he stated moving to sit between the pair on the couch, figuring that after that comment and what he just witnessed in the bathroom, that that was a good idea.

Faith had her legs propped up on the coffee table and Jay easily brushed them aside. An uncomfortable silence filled the room for a moment.

"So… Where is everyone?" Faith asked taking a sip of her beer. "Well," Jay started, a grin sliding onto his face once again, "Willow and Oz are in the bathroom… drying off." Jay stated waggling his eyebrows. Faith cocked an eyebrow, "Early Christmas present?" She asked. Jay grinned, "The Christmassy-ist." He stated with a wink.

Jake scowled, "If he keeps this up, I'm leaving" He wined sulkily. Before he knew it, Jay was on him hugging him "Awww, it's ok, by the end of the trip you'll understand." Jay stated grinning. Jake snorted and stood up, escaping Jay's tightly hugging arms and looking utterly violated.

"Do you feel all warm and fuzzy yet?" Jay asked waggling his eyebrows. Jake ignored him. Jay continued "Anyways, the rest of the Sunnydale crew and Connor are on their way up now. They should be here in about 10 minutes, but the way it sounded like Xander was driving; it could be half an hour." Jay explained.

Jake cocked an eyebrow at him again and Jay elaborated, "He's in his new 4X4 and he's never driven in snow before. He called me up and made me stop talking because he was coming up to a hill." Jay grinned.

"Or by the sounds of you today, he just needed an excuse to shut you up." Jake stated, running a hand through his blond hair and glancing out the window, before walking over to the fire and throwing another log on. The cabin was silent except for the buzz of the TV for a moment, and then they could hear footsteps, and the bathroom door opening in the hallway.

"Hey guys!" Willow exclaimed happily, as she entered the room, one hand clasped firmly in Oz's. Oz smiled slightly and nodded a welcome to the room as Willow looked around the room for people to hug, and found only un-huggables, a small pout fell across her features.

Jake didn't bother turning around from the fire, "Nice shower?" he asked seemingly innocently, as he warmed his bare arms. Faith snorted, being at the right angle to see the smirk that had formed on Jakes face. Oz raised his eyebrows at Jay, "Excellent shower." He stated, that small smile still playing off his lips. He ran a hand through his slightly damp hair.

Willow decided to change the subject. "What are we watching?" She asked coming over to sit on the couch. "Monster trucks." Faith answered. Willow frowned, "It's Christmas Eve and…" she started. "God, not another one!" Jake cringed. "Aren't you Jewish?" He asked turning around, and projecting a tight t-shirt and a baggy jeaned shadow across the dimly lit room as he was silhouetted by the fire.

Willow grinned, "Not this year. Besides, I'm formostly Wiccan, and they permit the celebration of other cultures, thus, let the turkey and Snoopy Dance commence." She stated a grin falling easily on her face.

Jay grinned "A fellow conformant." He exclaimed pointing a thumb in Willow's direction. "She's slowly working away at Oz for me." He added with a wink. Jake scowled.

Oz feigned surprise "IS that why?" He asked cocking an eyebrow. Willow blushed, and then smiled before coming over and kissing him on the cheek, "Not entirely…" She stated running a blatant hand down his thigh.

The front door burst open and soon piles of colourful packages with legs entered the cabin. "Oh good someone got my wish list!" Jay exclaimed watching the presents move in. Xander dropped the parcels under the tree. "Ha ha." He commented rolling his eyes and wiping the newly fallen snow from his hair.

Willow rushed over to give him a hug. "Hey Will, I missed you." Xander stated, hugging back, as more parcels with legs came walking in the door, followed by legs holding containers of food and then a cursing blanket ghost, who waited just outside the threshold.

"We're heeeeerree!" Dawn exclaimed dropping her own parcels, and grinning at the still cursing blanket. "C'mon in Spike" Jake stated from the fire place. Spike entered and slammed the door behind him, "Took you bloody long enough." He grumbled. "I could have left you out there." Jake stated easily, coming over to help everyone unload.

"Welcome to the cabin," Jay exclaimed to the large group now blocking the entrance way. "This is the living room, that's the kitchen, and those are the bedrooms. Unfortunately we don't have a bathroom, but there's an outhouse outside a ways in the forest, I suggest bringing a bear bell and some spray, because we were out this morning and came across some tracks. If you want to take a shower you're going to have to walk to the nudist old-folks colony a couple miles up the road and ask Ben, cause if you ask Martha she'll try to convert you. Best not to stare at her boobs either 'cause she doesn't like that, even though it looks like _they're_ staring at _you_. Keep in mind she's eighty, and still thinks that kind of thing is frowned upon. Also it's an open shower; hopefully no one here is shy. Be forewarned there are wolves out there." Jay explained in a tour guide-like voice.

"And the bathroom is…?" Dawn asked Oz who was just standing there. "Last door on the right." Oz stated automatically. "Thanks." Dawn nodded. She then picked up the bags of food she had brought in and brought them to the kitchen followed by Connor who had a tote apparently full of food also. Jay frowned at her on the way out and then turned to Oz, "You just have to ruin everything, don't you?" he asked. Oz shrugged.

"The wolves being you guys' right?" Buffy asked dropping the bag she was carrying. "The ones and only…s?" Jay commented looking confused. Buffy shrugged. "It's cozy in here." She stated walking over to the middle of the living room and glancing around. "Where are we all sleeping?" Giles asked taking off his glasses and rubbing them with his cloth.

"Well I figure, there's 2 bed rooms, 2 couches and the floor. Spike can have the bigger closet as Christmas morning might not be so Christmassy if he's on fire and burns the tree down. Although it could count as a Yule log… Either way you're all just going to have to pull names or give up your spot." Jay decided.

Giles walked over to the hallway and glanced down at the beds. He then picked the most vacated one and sat down. "Claimed." He stated, leaving the rest of the house guests open mouthed.

"That was fast." Willow stated cocking an eyebrow. "That was taking control." Giles answered from down the hall, apparently not moving from the bed. They all just looked impressed and then slowly realized the consequences of Giles's actions, and all made a run for it.

Xander let out what Jay could only describe as a battle cry as he shoved Buffy out of the way, Jake grabbed Faith and they flashed into the first bedroom, only to find Willow and Oz already sitting on the bed. Buffy entered the room, and ran out, Jay had his bed already made across the hall, he had added a name tag Giles was sitting on the third bed and Spike had grumpily sat down in the closet.

Xander claimed the first couch, and Anya followed, Dawn had the second, and the rest were stuck with the floor. "How did I end up on the floor?" Buffy asked glancing around.

"It's ok Buffy, no one ever trained you to get beds. You just worry about those _nasty_ vampires." Jay commented a grin spreading across his face. Buffy scowled. "And a name tag." She grumbled. "Aww… let's not go there. It's Christmas." Xander stated getting up.

"Not yet it isn't" Buffy stated crossing her arms and sitting on the floor. "Hey, we cheated and we didn't even get a bed." Jake stated motioning towards Faith. "I'd like to be the first one to state that I didn't cheat and still got the floor." Connor stated raising his hand. Buffy frowned, the oven went off, and Jay let out a little cry and ran into the kitchen, mumbling something about basting.

"That's manly." Xander stated as he exited the room. "Hey, be nice, it's his third Christmas." Oz stated from the corner. Everyone cocked their eyebrows and Oz elaborated. "They didn't really have Christmas where he grew up, just presents and getting to sleep in. So this year he wanted a traditional one, to try it out." He finished, sorting through the guitar picks he had found lying under the couch.

Spike snorted from the corner, "Traditional Christmas was over by the end of the last century. You can't have Christmas without a right proper pudding, not all this marshmallow crap on the potatoes." Spike stated from the corner.

And thus sparked the debate about 'proper Christmases.'

**That's the end of the first part… If you are interested in the second part, please review and let me know, but please let me know what you thought of this one too, it would be much appreciated. If not review and let me know what you thought, if this is the very last post I would like to thank you for reading, hopefully you enjoyed. **

**W-B-D **


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